Feferi:

January was over, and Valentine's day loomed over us like a dark shadow. I hated Valentine's day. I don't know why, I didn't usually hate holidays, but this one...

I decided to play it cool anyways and got all of my friends little heart shaped Every Flavoured beans. I then resigned myself to hating life and all things red and pink for the next couple of weeks. I tried to stay positive, though. I didn't want to change completely in front of my friends.

Nepeta was near and dear to me, and Sollux was so silly. Eridan was always a challenge to be friends with. It felt like a constant battle. He was so strong minded, and I was always the weaker of the two of us. I just didn't have the energy to fight him so much, especially this time of year.

But I also had my other friends. Jade and I often talked and laughed, and Vriska and I were slowly becoming friends rather than acquaintances. We talked often, and I respected her. She was way smarter than me but pretended not to be. I didn't know why, but oh well.

On Valentine's day, Sollux and I were walking around the grounds. It was cold, but now snowy or rainy, so we walked by the lake and talked. We were all bundled up, and our voices were muffled by layers of fabric. He was grumpy, but really funny. I giggled at his jokes and his puns. Everything was calm and quiet. Suddenly, I felt a little prick of cold on my nose. Then another. I looked up at the grey sky. Snow was coming down is quiet little pinpricks. It dusted my coat and Sollux's and we walked slowly back toward the front doors. I didn't really want to go in, so I stopped in my tracks and laid down on the dead grass and let the snow fall on my face, in my eyelashes, dust my lips and whip some color into my cheeks. I felt a warmth next to me as Sollux laid down next to me. I felt his arm on mine. I didn't feel the cold. We lay in silence, enjoying the feel of human closeness and the cold air in our watched colors streak across the sky as the snow fell, and finally, as the sun dipped behind the horizon, we trekked inside, covered in snow, but quietly happy, the way I'd never felt before.

After Valentine's day, I got a lot of crap from Eridan about Sollux and some of my other friends.

"Fef, you need to stay friends with some other pureblood, none of that mudblood trash."

"No, Eridan. They're my friends! I won't be away from them, not for the world."

"But, Fef!"

And that went on for a long time.

It was hard, being a kid and growing up. It was hard, and nobody quite understood.

March rolled around, and I was focused on classes. I didn't have much else to do, plus the teachers were starting to lay it on a bit thick with the workload. Fortunately, that gave me an excuse to avoid Eridan. Unfortunately, that gave me an excuse to avoid Eridan.

I missed my best friend, but I was just so angry with him, and his ideas and idiotic close-mindedness when it came to half bloods and muggle borns. It just made me angry when we talked about it, and the last time we fought, I flew off the handle. I didn't mean to, but I slapped him in the face. I wasn't proud of what I had done, but I won't apologize either. My mother taught me early on that a true heiress never would.

The next morning, The Daily Prophet told of a town pillaged by SBURB, now calling themselves Dersites. My heart sank when it mentioned my mother. She was doing the best she could, but she was concerned that nothing could be done. She worried that a battle was needed to stop this group, and we weren't prepared for that. I noticed other kids discussing in hushed whispers. I felt the need to say something, but I wasn't sure what. Just then, I noticed my sister standing on the table. Everyone stared.

"Okay, listen." she said loudly, her voice full of raw sympathy. I stared. I never heard her voice sound so... human. "Most of you will know what I'm about to talk about. And for the rest of you... well. 15 people died, and a village, Whitby, was destroyed." she paused. Some people gasped, most just looked at their shoes or the floor. Meenah continued. "In these dark times, where terrorists ravage villages and ruin families and lives, we need to think about what we have here. Here, we are safe. Here, there's nothing that can penetrate the walls. We are in a bubble of safety and good health. So ask yourselves, what can I do? I'll tell you. You can study, you can work hard, you can go the extra mile, you can learn to use defensive magic, because some of you will want to fight. I know I do. But why do it ignorant? Take advantage of your time here, and maybe, just maybe, you can be the one to be the hero of this world. But stay, don't leave. Why the shell would you? Prepare yourself before you are ready to do battle. Because otherwise, you will fall short." she pauses again. "I hope that, in this dark time, any petty rivalries can be put to rest for a while, because we as a student body have a lot of work to do, whether you're just a first year, or you're about to graduate. That's all." she got off the table and walked out of the hall. I was stunned. we all were.

I got up and scurried after her. I didn't say anything. I just walked next to her and slipped my hand into hers, and we shared a silent moment. I looked over and was surprised to see her crying.

"I'm scared, Fef." she said quietly. I nodded.

"Me too."

"I just feel like everyone is looking to us." she said, her voice a little hysterical. I wasn't used to seeing my sister like this.

"I know, Meenah." I said. I lead her to an empty classroom. We slid down a wall and stared at the desks in front of us, and for once, I felt comfortable enough around my cold hard sister to rest my head on her shoulder and sob. We both did. In a way, it was comforting, but in more ways, it was foreshadowing for what was to come.

Mornings became my least favorite time of day. Newspapers were delivered, and a deadly silence filled the school, like it was holding it's breath, waiting for the next bout of bad bad news.

Hundreds died. Panicked letters came from my mother, sharing information that made my heart sink. The ministry didn't know what to do with itself. My mother had a tenuous grip on the magical world. They were losing money and credibility. Mom, Meenah and I would find ourselves on the street within a few months. I told no one, but Meenah and I got closer. We often curled up in empty classrooms and broom cupboards during classes and cried. I couldn't sleep. I found myself in Slytherin most evenings, with Meenah's steady breaths to calm my nerves. We helped each other relax, but not sleep. Never sleep. When we did sleep, we were woken a few hours later by terrifying nightmares. I knew my friends wanted to help, but no one really knew what was happening besides Meenah.

The stream of bad news was neverending, but then, they caught one of the Dersites, Diamonds Droog. Faith was tentatively restored in the ministry, and Diamonds was taken straight to Azkaban, with no trial. Meenah and I could finally breathe, and we began going to classes again. It was slow work, catching up. I enlisted Kanaya's help, and I sat with her and Vriska in the library for tutoring. The mood was frosty between the two of them. I decided to focus on my work and not ask questions. My usually sunny mood was changed drastically. I was now easily worked up, moody, quiet, and constantly sad. Meenah's funny demeanor changed too. I often cried for no reason, and my idle moments brought scary thoughts and feeling into my mind. I felt like I was in a fight with a huge scary monster, and I was losing badly.

And then, a swift blow to the head knocked me out.

Aradia's mother died in a raid. I lost all will to live. I stopped seeing Kanaya or Meenah or anyone. I hid in a broom cupboard and just lied there. I couldn't move, I couldn't feel. For once in my life, I felt like I was drowning. I lied in the cupboard for at least two days. People were so used to seeing very little of me anymore that they didn't notice. I lied with my thoughts for hours and hours. I was all cried out. I thought of my mother and my life. I thought of Aradia and how she didn't go home for Christmas, didn't get to say goodbye.

Finally, Eridan found me. He gathered me into his arms and took me to the Slytherin common room. Everyone gasped. He took me straight to Meenah's room and lied me down. He brought me stolen food from the kitchen. I ate, but only because he told me to. He looked worried. I really didn't care. He told me to sleep, so I did. I was aware of Meenah coming and finding me in her bed, but I wasn't asleep. I couldn't close my eyes. She apologized over and over to me, and each time I said, in a voice that wasn't mine that it was okay.

Eventually, I put on a mask. I pretended to be the old me. I said things the old me would say. I walked like the old me would. On the inside, I felt hollow, like a dead actress trying to play a part she used to be made for. But everyone went back to ignoring me, so I was okay playing this part, even though it was frustrating. It was frustrating and I felt like everything was a chore, even the things I used to like. I did things out of necessity. You have to eat now, Feferi. You have to talk to your friends now, Feferi. You have to go to class now, Feferi. You have to indulge Meenah now, Feferi. I was a robot. I was trapped in a cage that was my body and the me I used to be and no one knew. It was for the best, of course, but my life was beginning to look pointless, and I had thoughts that scared me even though I was dead. I had to tell someone, I had to do something. I didn't want to tell Eridan or Meenah because they'd send me home. So I decided to tell Sollux.

He looked really worried. I was confused by that.

"No, it's okay." I said. "Life is pointless, anyways, so why are you crying?"

He dashed away a tear and looked at me. "FF, you are one of my favorite people. I can't have you be a machine version of you, so... why not be just you. Around me. Until you feel better." I nodded.

"Okay, Sollux. That sounds better than what life is now."

And so we talked, and I even cried a little, which he took as a good sign. Things finally started to look up for me, a little.

Kanaya:

I was quite happy with life at Hogwarts as we entered the month of March. I was quite close with all of my friends, and doing well in all of my classes. There was only one thing that...no, Kanaya, best not to think of that.

I don't know what I expected from Hogwarts, but it was not this. I was so close to both of the girls in my dorm-Rose and Terezi, and I had friends in every house. I'd talked to my sister, Porrim, once or twice, but I was managing quite well on my own. Exams were coming up in a few months and I was determined to get top marks, with nothing below an Exceeds Expectations.

By this point in the year, it wasn't just the first years who were aware of Jade and Dave's rivalry. Everybody laughed at their fighting, which just grew to make Jade more angry. She ranted about him all the time, and I pity Karkat, who once commented that no one talked that much about a guy unless-

He didn't get to finish the sentence before a very angry witch was upon him. I would have helped, but I was laughing too hard. I would remember that, in the weeks to come, when things began to go downhill.

The date was March 11th, and the moment the owls began to fly into the Great Hall at Breakfast that morning, all chatter stopped and a deathly silence fell. The Daily Prophet's Headline read:

"SBURB attacks Muggle Village of Whitby, 15 killed and 33 wounded." I grabbed the newspaper from Sollux, ignoring his protests.

Late last night, the mysterious SBURB organization launched an attack on the Muggle Village of Whitby. The wizards, now calling themselves Dersites, were lead by the rogue Auror Jack Noir, where the pillaged and burned the small town in Northern Yorkshire. An award of 10,000 Galleons is now out for the capture of one Jack Noir, who will be sentenced to Azkaban without trial. Little is known about SBURB, but that it sprung up from an elitist pureblood group once known as the Midnight Crew. Their leader yet remains unnamed, but the Head of the Auror Department promises "we are doing everything we can...to capture (these wizards) and are well on the way to success. Are they telling the truth? We can only hope so, so we do not suffer the loss of another village like Whitby.

Aurors arrived at the scene far too late, following the reports of a projected up into the sky. They found thirteen dead on the scene and thirty five wounded-two more would die in transport to St. Mungo's. Among the dead are two wizards and thirteen muggles.

I stared in shock at the newspaper. "Who would do something like this?" Rose commented softly. No one replied. It was what we were all thinking. As I looked up, my eyes met Vriska's whose face had gone pale. She looked at me for a moment, and then practically ran out of the hall. Before I even realized what I was doing, I was following her. I would always follow her. I found her in a corner of the third floor, staring out the window blankly I sat down next to her.

"Hey," I said quietly. She didn't reply for a long moment.

"My parents," she said suddenly. "Are they good people?" I hesitated, not sure of what to say. I did not know them well, and from what I did...Vriska laughed suddenly. "No, of course they aren't good people. My mother's been encouraging me to kill people since I was five!"
I wasn't exactly sure what to do with this information, so I just stayed quiet. Vriska kept talking. "She's told me that anyone who's not from a pureblood family is scum, and that they deserved to die rather than ruin the wizarding world. She told me they weren't even people, and SBURB...they are part of it. I know it, and I could report them, and the Ministry would get lots of information out of them, but I'm not going to do it." The last bit was almost hissed, as if she couldn't believe her words. She turned to look at me. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"They are your parents," I said finally. "There is no other choice to make." Even as I said that, I knew it wasn't true. Vriska knew it too, but she flashed me a smile. It lit up her face, and it was all I needed to see for me to not tell anyone either.

"Thanks, Kanaya," she replied. "You're not so bad for scum." Vriska pushed herself back off the wall, and the two of us walked slowly back to the Great Hall.

...Where, we found Meenah Peixes making a speech on top of a table. I headed back over to my table to ask Rose what was going on, but she held up a finger, so I just listened to Meenah. "...we as a student body have a lot of work to do, whether you're just a first year, or you're about to graduate. That's all." As Meenah got back off the table, I looked at Rose.

"What exactly did I miss?" I questioned.

"Meenah Peixes made a speech about how we all need to put our differences behind us and work our hardest to counter this evil. It was actually really good," Rose said, tilting her head to one side. "Where were you?"
"I was talking to Vriska," I said, not elaborating any more. Rose's mouth tightened a little. Suddenly, our attention was taken by Ms. Paint standing up. "20 points to Slytherin!" she announced to a round of applause.

The next few days were filled with darkness, and every morning, I expected more bad news from the Daily Prophet. My mind was full of turmoil about what Vriska had told me, and I found myself growing more distant from my friends. If they noticed, they didn't comment. Vriska and I never spoke about what we'd said.

Unfortunately, the news only got worse. Croyden was hit the next week in a much bigger raid, and 23 muggle borns were killed, as well as 15 muggles and 3 aurors. Aradia and Jade's roommate, Quarters, went home for awhile because her uncle was one of the aurors killed. Over the months of March and April, more than one hundred people died in attacks all over England. I could barely look at Vriska anymore when I thought of what she'd told me. So I kept it off my mind, and did as Meenah Peixes told.

I studied, I learned, sometimes I laughed with my friends, and I did my best to pretend that everything was okay. Finally, after so long, good news came. The Aurors had gotten word of where an attack was going to be, and gotten there first. They'd captured a high ranking Dersite, referred to in the newspaper as Diamonds Droog. After so long, even a small victory felt like the air was breathable again. I began tutoring Feferi. She'd been cutting classes, and looked nothing like her old self. She was thin, and pale, and looked haunted, like she'd seen the end of the story and it hadn't ended well.

The next attack was by no means the worse, but it affected me the most. Aradia's mother died, and she was home for a week. Suddenly, breathing wasn't just hard-it wasn't physically possible. I hadn't ever thought that this was something that could happen to me. I was not prepared for my parents to die, and now I had to accept this as a real and legitimate possibility. And I had to be there for my friend, too. Aradia came back...changed. The differences were small, but every movement was slower and every smile was barely there. As April went on, there were more victories than failures, but I just had to look at Aradia and I would be reminded of everything.

Late April found us hovering in the Gryffindor common room, conversation quiet. I was bent over an Astronomy chart, due the next day. It was rare that I got so behind on my assignments, so I was focused on catching up.

"What do you want to do when you leave Hogwarts?" Sollux asked. His lisp was heavier these days. The stress was getting to everyone. Rose looked thoughtful.

"I would enjoy becoming an Auror," she said. Karkat nodded in agreement.

"Me too," Aradia said, gaze hard. I could tell she was thinking of everyone who had died. Her parents-

"I'm going into Magical Law, and I will find everyone working for SBURB and get them sent to Azkaban." Terezi seemed almost fevered. She spent so much time trying to figure out possible traitors in the ministry these days. I was afraid she wasn't well.

"I always wanted to cultivate plants," Jade said, quietly. Even her cheery mood was down. I'd noticed it with everyone. There was a thick black cloud hanging over Hogwarts, and even the happiest people, like Jade and Feferi, were feeling it. "But now...I want to do something to stop them. Anything I can." She looked down, her mouth a thin line.

"I-I don't think I'm brave enough to get involved in the fight," Tavros said shakily. Nobody commented.

"I didn't even want to come here," Sollux admitted. "I'd like to get a Muggle job, if I could, working with technology. Maybe though, maybe I could work on coding and infiltration in the Wizarding world."

"I would like to kill them all," I said, the anger simmering as always. They all looked at me. "I would like to watch them suffer the way we have, and I would like to watch them bleed."