Turns out psycho is better than slut because for now they're left in relative peace at school, even Carol and Tommy now keeping a certain distance.

"Do you have to go straight home?" She asks after school one day.

"No."

"Good, we need to make a stop."

xxx

The knock on the cabin door sends Hopper on high alert, he is already trying to send El into her room and getting his gun when the voice outside relaxes them both. He sighes, swings the door open and quickly lets Nancy and Jonathan in before shutting it again after taking a peek around in every direction.

"What are you doing here?" His gruff voice don't faze either of them. Nancy waves to El, who looks very intrigued and excited to see other people than Hopper.

"You're in contact with Dr. Owens, right?" Nancy gets right to the point, knowing that Hopper is even more of a straight-talker than she is.

"Yes, what's it to you?"

"Got some demands."

"What?" Hopper sighes.

"They should pay for the funerals. For Barb and for Bob. If they don't some anonymous sources might tell some newspapers that Bob disappeared while he was exploring the area around the lab because of the myths he'd heard about it. Even if we don't have any hard evidence to give, if several different people all say that Bob told them that was what he was doing well… it won't do wonders for their PR department."

Hopper sighes heavily again.

"You're one conniving bastard of a kid, you know that?"

"Thank you."

"I'll talk to him."

"Good," she turns to El. "How are you, El?"

"Bored," the girl answers straightforwardly. Hopper looks exasperated.

"I would be too," Nancy chuckles. "What do you do all day?"

"Watch TV. Read books. And dictionary."

"Hey, maybe we could bring you some new stuff? Like some books and magazines so you've got more to read. And some of my old clothes that could fit you? Would you like that?"

"Yes!" El's eyes light up.

"Hey now, you shouldn't be coming here, it's not safe," Hopper protests.

"Jesus, we weren't followed today, we made sure of it. But if you're so paranoid, can you pick up the stuff at his place?" Nancy gestures to Jonathan. Hopper's about to protest again but the look on El's face sways him. He can't say no to that.

"Fine."

"Great. Oh, I'll ask Mike and the boys, I'm sure they'll have lots of stuff for you."

"Hey, you can't let your brother know where we are though, sorry but we definitely can't have him come running here."

"Yeah yeah, I'll talk to Mike. He'll understand, the only thing he cares more about than seeing El is that she's safe," she turns back to El. "He really misses you. But I think he's making a whole list of things he wants to show you and things you can do together, for later."

El's eyes light up again at that. "Tell him… I miss him too. Want to see him."

"I will."

"Hey, this is what you have for music?" Jonathan asks, speaking for the first time since they entered the cabin. He's quickly flipping through the records Hopper's got in a stack.

"Yeah, got a problem with those classics?" Hopper crosses his arms, defensively.

"No no, they're fine I guess just… old."

Hopper muttters something about kids these days not appreciating good music. El's eyes goes between the two, curious about Jonathan, she asks, shyly:

"Do you have other music?" Feeling a bit mischievous, her word of the day for last Wednesday, she adds "Not old music?" Hopper groans.

"Uh yeah," Jonathan answers. "I could make you some mix tapes, if you want?"

"Mix tapes?"

"Oh, uh, it's a thing that you can have music on, like this," he points to one of Hopper's records, "but instead of a whole album of songs by one band I can put songs from some different people on it, so you can hear some different stuff. And you can play it on this," he points to a radio with a tape deck he noticed earlier.

"I'd like that."

"Cool."

Nancy hugs El goodbye before they leave.

xxx

Mike catches her when she's throwing all kinds of books and magazines she's got lying around into a box, followed by a wide assortment of her old clothes. She sits him down on the bed and explains her idea and reiterates that no, Hopper won't allow him to know of their location yet. Eventually she convinces him to continue to be patient and he then runs off to gather all kinds of things for El. Dustin and Lucas add some stuff as well and when she takes the huge box over to the Byers next time she goes over there Will is quick to throw in some of his crayons and sheets of paper as Jonathan adds a bunch of tapes. Hopper comes by the next day and grumbles over the sheer weight of the box but carries it to his cruiser.

xxx

It's quiet in the car on the way to the cemetry, her mother and father thankfully not in the mood for mundane chitchat given the situation. She is in the backseat looking out of the window, trying to sort out her conflicted feelings. She's relieved that Barb's parents finally know the truth and won't spend their lives wondering. But it's such an awful truth. Yes, she hopes it will bring some closure, but closure will only get you so far. Barb's still dead. That's the most awful thing, and something that will never change. She tries to focus on Jonathan's words, that day the truth came out. They've done a good thing. But she still dreads seeing the casket, knowing it's empty, knowing where Barb's body really lies and rots. She dreads seeing mr and mrs Holland. She had to get the truth out there. But now she will have too see the reaction to it. It's better than them not knowing, she tells herself again. But it still won't be good. It won't be easy. Nothing about this could ever be.

Jonathan is waiting near the cemetry gates when they arrive. She almost collapses into his arms and he holds her close, ignoring the looks from mr and mrs Wheeler who shuffle on into the graveyard. There's really no words to be said, so he just takes her hand when she eventually pulls away from the hug, giving it a squeeze before they walk on.

Steve comes too, she could hug him for that but resists, unsure of how he would feel about that. Maybe the eye contact is enough, at least it feels like he understood her look of appreciation. She looks around further as the priest begins the service, because she can't bear to look too long at Barb's parents or the casket yet. There's only a handful of other people present. She vaguely recognises some of Barb's relatives from birthday parties past. Their English teacher from freshman year is there. For a second she's glad, Barb loved that class, she always liked to write and excelled in it. Then she realises that mrs Carmichael is the only one of their teachers there. And with the exception of herself, Jonathan and Steve, not one student of Hawkins High showed up. Screw them all. You were always too good for this goddamn town anyway, she thinks as she finally looks looks down at the casket for the first time and feels a tear run down her cheek. More fall when she finally dares glancing to mr and mrs Holland and see the pain and mourning still fresh in them.

When the service ends she tries to work up the nerve to walk up to them. Momentarily her feet feels bolted to the ground, but a quick glance to Jonathan and his hand enveloping hers calms her enough to work up the courage and get her feet moving.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. She didn't deserve this. She was so good, she was the best friend anyone could ever have," she gets out in one go, afraid that she won't be able to start again if she stops.

They both nod with tears still in their eyes. "Thank you dear. I'm so glad she had you as a friend," mrs Holland tells her.

At that, her throat closes and the tears threaten to spill over again. She quickly wipes at her eyes with a tissue Jonathan had given her earlier.

She goes home with Jonathan. At first he just drives for a while, holding her hand as she cries. Eventually when she's collected herself somewhat she gives him a nod and he heads down the familiar path to his house. Joyce is chainsmoking over some papers at the kitchen table when they get inside. The papers have to do with Bob and his funeral, she learns later. Joyce looks miserable but the look she gives her feels warm. She can only nod in turn, not trusting her voice at the moment. Jonathan leads her to his room. She lies down on his bed as he momentarily disappears to check on Will in the next room. When he returns he turns on his record player, letting Joy Division fill the room as he lays down next to her on the bed, wrapping both arms around her as she nestles into his chest. They lay in silence like that for a while, Ian Curtis the only voice in the room.

"What's this song called?" Nancy asks eventually, voice low and slightly hoarse from crying.

"Atmosphere."

"I like it."

"Yeah, it's great."

Worn like a mask of self-hate

"I listened to it over and over again when I thought Will was dead," he confesses. She tightens her hold of him.

Don't walk away, in silence

"Thank you for being here with me," she says softly as the song closes.

"Thank you. For everything," he answers and hugs her closer, planting a kiss on her head.

xxx

Lately it feels like she's spending more time at the Byers than her own house. At first she was afraid that she was overstaying her welcome but every time she tried to apologise Joyce just waved her off and finally insisted on her stop thinking that. "You're always welcome here, with or without Jonathan." She had soon also insisted that Nancy should call her Joyce and not mrs Byers. Joyce has good days and bad days, but most days have a bit of both. Her sons and their happiness and wellbeing gave her light and kept her grounded when dealing with the loss of Bob, both mentally and practically.

Right now they've just finished a study session in Jonathan's room (yes, actually studying. For the most part.) and venture out towards the kitchen to find Joyce engaged in a phone call.

"Yes… Uh-huh… Mm-hm… Of course… I will take care of that. No, of course not… Yes… Thank you. Goodbye."

She hangs up the phone and puts her head in her hands, taking a deep breath.

"Are you ok?" Nancy asks, carefully.

"Oh," Joyce startles slightly and turns around to face them. "Yeah, yeah. Just, helping Bob's parents with the uh, funeral. They're older and they live in Maine so… hard for them to deal with the logistics."

"Mom, let me help you," Jonathan steps forward.

"Oh no swetiee you do-"

"Mom, come on," he notices a list on a notepad by the phone with some items crossed off it but one underlined several times.

"Mom, I'll come with you for the casket and all the rest," he says, gentle but with force behind it. Nancy flashes back to a year ago, when she found him looking at coffins alone at the funeral parlor.

"No you don't have to, plus I don't want to leave Will home alone," Joyce replies.

"I can stay with him," Nancy pipes in. "We'll have fun."

It looks like Joyce about to protest again, not wanting to be a bother, but her expression soon changes into a look of appreciation mirroring that of her eldest son.

"Thank you sweetheart. Okay. We might as well get this done."

They explain the situation to Will, who's just emerged from his room where he'd been locked into his own study session, trying to catch up with his missed schoolwork. He only shrugs and smiles when he learns that Nancy will stay. She was worried he wouldn't like it, she definitely knows Mike would have sulked at having a "babysitter" but Will is so easygoing. And it's not like babysitting just… to ease Joyce's mind. She thinks maybe Will's very aware of that as well. And perhaps he doesn't want to be alone either.

xxx

Will sits down at the living room table where he left all his drawing material the previous night so she joins him on the couch.

"These are really good, Will," she says, looking over the different sheets of papers lying around. He's currently working on the shadowy background surrounding some kind of fantasy knight character she vaguely recognizes from years of being Mike Wheeler's big sister.

"Thanks," he says, not looking up, keeping his focus on the picture.

"Wish I was good at something like that. Like your drawing, or Jon with his photography. Even Mike with his stories. He's actually really good at making them up. Don't tell him I said that."

Will smiles. "Everyone's got their thing. You're smarter than all of us. Like coming up with plans and stuff."

"Thanks. I used to draw a little, when I was younger. I was never any good, not like you."

"What did you draw?" He looks up.

"Oh, just small things. Mostly in notebooks when I was bored in class. I used to dance so I liked to draw a ballerina."

"Show me," he instantly shoves over a paper and crayons.

"Well, you start like this," she she leans forward and grabs a lightblue crayon and starts drawing the ballerina. "Like this," she continues, she finds that she still remembers the way, logged deep into the back of her mind.

"There," she finishes.

"That's good!" Will declares. Looking closer, he continues. "That pose is so cool, you could make into a ninja or something like," he excitedly grabs a crayon and quickly starts making lines on another sheet of paper and soon the outline of a ninja appears in the same stance as her ballerina with one leg raised but in a fighting move instead of dancing.

"Wow."

"Want to play Atari?" He suddenly asks.

"Yes! I'm gonna kick your ass. Or at least learn enough so I can beat Jon at it."

"Hm, the latter is a possibility at least," he grins.

After half an hour of Ms. Pacman they give it up after a frustrated Nancy calls the titular character "bitch" for yet again getting caught way to soon. They switch to Defender after that which Nancy soon decides is more up her sleeve, killing aliens invading their world. After almost an hour of Defender, which Will still got her beat on but at least it's getting close, they pause to make some grilled cheese. They've returned to the game by the time Joyce and Jonathan get back.

"Hey, how did it go?" She stands up and ask.

"We've got it done," Jonathan answers.

"I'm gonna make us something to eat, you guys hungry?" Joyce asks.

"No we already ate," Will answers.

"Mom I can take care of it," Jonathan says.

"No, sit, it'll take my mind of things."

"Okay."

"Come on, I'm gonna destroy you at Defender now," Nancy declares, tugging Jonathan to the couch. Joyce smiles slightly as she turns to the kitchen while Will smirks and hands over a control to Jonathan.

"You're on, Wheeler."

And Jonathan gets his ass kicked, Nancy looking very pleased with herself. Jonathan is at least gracious in defeat, though he does rib Will for cheering Nancy on instead of his own brother.

xxx

They have Bob's funeral the next week. There's more people at that one. Their whole weird monster hunting family, Bob's parents and other family members, Mr. Clarke, Bob's other friends and colleagues she doesn't know. She stands with the Byers family, Jonathan stoically holding it together for his mom and little brother who's both crying. She realise that it feels horrible, witnessing their heavy grief, but that she doesn't feel out of place, as she passes another tissue to Joyce while Jonathan places a steady hand on Will's shoulder.

Later they take care of dinner, manage to convince Joyce to rest for a while, and play more Atari with Will. When they turn in for the night, Joyce not minding at all her staying over anymore and her own mother not seeming to care, Jonathan finally lets go and cries against her shoulder as she holds him. He cries for Bob, for Will and for his mom. She turns on his record player and they repeat the ritual from last week as they lay down on the bed.

Hunting by the rivers through the streets every corner

Abandoned too soon