Bill has been interloping with human civilization from the very beginning, making deals with all walks of life. The meatsacks that made deals with him wanted one of three things: knowledge, money, and/or power and yeah he gave those things away. But he would just kill them or make them insane because "why the fuck not" right?

One meatsack in particular, Mr. Harry Houdini, wanted fame and struck a deal with him. They exchanged secrets (Bill learned various escape techniques and the meatsack learned how to be dapper) as the man grew to be a… celebrity (what a ridiculous concept). It was great until the meatsack thought he could make it on his own with all the knowledge Bill taught him and that wasn't going to fly. So Bill killed Mr. Houdini.

...Is it considered karma that Bill killed that meatsack and now can't escape his duct tape prison? Or does karma work differently than what meatsacks have chattered about?

In any case, Bill is stuck.

Stanley duct taped him to a chair.

Like the fleshbag used three fucking rolls of duct tape on him! The only thing he can wiggle is his hands, feet, and head (because those are the only body parts not exposed in whatever the fuck duct tape is).

Bill should have killed the inventor of this stuff. Duct tape is evil.

What makes it worse? Stanley is watching him, sitting in his chair, with the shotgun in his lap, fucking grinning at him. "Not so tough now huh?!"

"I will set you on fire!" Bill hisses.

"Try it wise guy." Thanks to the symbol painted on the tape (that Bill can't see because he's tapped to the chair) Bill can't use his magic.

In hindsight he should have seen this coming when he made that comment, otherwise he would have had an out and avoided this situation. Which is having a staring contest with Stanley Pines because he's duct tapped to a FUCKING CHAIR!

There's a hum from the lights in the cabin that cuts the silence between the two men. It doesn't do much to help the tense atmosphere.

It's been four hours since the family came back. Mabel is safe in the attic and Dipper is… somewhere… really Stan took him from Bill and walked away with Ford and neither Dipper or Ford are back.

Bill knows that Dipper is sleeping, he can feel it and see his dreams when he closes his eyes but holy fuck is it annoying to not know where the fuck they put Pine Tree!?

A knock from what Bill assumes is the front door (there's too many doors in this funhouse) prompts Stan to leave. This gives Bill to attempt an escape.

But being tapped and not able to use magic leaves one with limited options.

So Bill Cipher goes with moving the chair.

By hopping.

Literally this is the most degrading thing Bill can think of for a being of his status. After all he brought the multi-verse to its knees, spreading fear all over and influencing many things. Now he's in a human body (he's not ugly so there's that), hopping away in a wooden chair that he got duct tapped to in the middle of the fucking living room!

He's almost out of the room when the legs of the stupid chair and Bill falls forward, landing face first on the floor.

F̼̜̫̯̒͋̍Ù̵̙̦̟̙͉̱̟͔̣̏̽ͧ̏̐ͩ͛̚͟C̣̬̿͋ͦ̀̐ͦ̚̚K̞̼̝̝̥̫̋̋͑́ͅI̸̔̆͌ͩ̊̀͢͏̣̫͓̻̜ͅN̼͍͇̺ͧͭͪ̿G̫̣͚͚̼͎̱̗̉̈́ ̺͉͓͒̉ͮǴ̪̓̏ͥ͐̄̾́ͩ͞ͅÓ͎̳̻͖̮̝̼̪̋̆ͧ̑̃Ḍ̡̰̤̪̥̫ͩ͗̕̕S̵͕̙̰͔͔̯̼͙̺̈̏ͤͮ̚͟ ̥̝͍͖̘ͨͪḞ̡̯̻̰̫̞̣̆͊U̽̂ͬ̋͜҉̜̹͖͚̖̘̰Ç̵̲ͨ̊̽̽Ķ̗̫̗͉̻͚ͤ͑̎͐̽I͇̺͚ͣ͑̃̑͟Ñͥͪ̓̍ͩ͏͍̠͙̝̬̫̠͉̼G͚̥̦͉͉̤͙̱̱̓̆͋̈̏̏ͥ ̫̖̱̣͔̈́̄̆̀̄̕͝D͇͓̰̗̬͙̋̋̓͒ͅA̞̣̔̉ͯͦͫ͒M̨̺͚͍̬̫͔̅ͬͫ͗͜ͅN̗̜̥̰ͭ ̾͋̈ͨͬͪ̊ͤ͏͔͖̗̙͎͞Į͚̰͚̳̼̜ͣͫ́͝Ṯ̘͎̙̺͚ͦ ̸̺̲̟͙̠̳͓̺̪͛̉͌̕F̲̤̖̼̬̠̣̟̾̋ͤ̈͑̌̚͢͠U̼̲̦̺̽͊͟͞C̫̙͌̔ͫḰ̠͓̤̺̳̙̆̈ͫ!̯͙̼͚̣̭͛̒̾͆͆ͫ̏̋̑!̺̟̳̹͍͎̞͊ͮ̓͒ͅ!̵̴̸̱͙͔͛̽̾̒ͦͮ́̄̑!̶̽ͤ̾͐͛̈́ͯͮ̄҉̢̰̻̯̥̳̗!̡̤̠̺̖̈́ͨͫ̈́͆͋͡!̞͎͎̻̫̠͈̇̓̉͗ͤ!̥̮͎̘̝̰ͥ̍̊ͥ͒̎!̮͕̝ͥ̊ͪ̋́͝!̛̬̜̣̜̙̼̣̠̈̒ͥ̽͡

Bill is extremely close to breaking his physical form if it means freedom.

He doesn't get that chance though as the chair is tilted back and Stan is grinning like the potential shit-eater he is with Question Mark staring at him in wonder.

"There he is Soos. The all-powerful Bill Cipher!" He laughs as Question Mark goes to poke his remaining eye.

Bill snaps at the offending finger and ends up on his face again.

"Grunkle Stan? Soos?" Wonderful timing Pine Tree! "…Why is Bill tapped to a broken chair?"

"I don't trust the wise guy, kid. This is indefinitely a lot better than shooting him if he's buddy-buddy with you and your sister."

"Right…" Dipper trails off, and Bill can see him messing with the bonds that has him stuck. He offers his human a smile as the tape comes off. Dipper kindly responds to it with an eye-roll. Idiot.

Shut up, you love me~ Yeah since the previous night, they've hit the second… or third(?) stage in the bond. Bill needs to re-read the spell again to be sure.

From what was read the bond deepens in stages. First stage shares pain and emotions and then it increases from there until the last stage where the two individuals are truly considered half of a new being or some nonsense. His dimension outlawed the spell after a few beings abused the abilities that came with it.

The only reason why it would have deepen was because they had sex. But really two bodies grinding against each other, as fun as it is, shouldn't affect magic spells like this.

Dipper only blushes and drags Bill into the kitchen once he's free. "G-Go eat something while I talk to Stan and Soos. I'll uh…"

"What are you going to talk to them about? The fact that we're soul-"

Dipper covers his mouth. "Shut up! You don't need to announce it to the whole world you isosceles asshole!"

"Scared they're going to be disappointed?" From what Dipper is giving off, that one is a no-brainer. "Look kid," He begins as he makes a piece of toast float before munching on it. "I'm not a family therapist or anything, but you can't keep this a secret. Especially when Sixer and Stanley are threatening death if I make a wrong move. What happens if I do get blasted with a shotgun?"

His human opens his mouth and then closes it once he processes his words, deep in thought.

"You've got to tell them…" Then Bill conjures up an idea that brings a grin to his face. "Or I will. And I won't leave out any details."

"You wouldn't."

Bill finishes off the poor burnt bread slice. "You might not believe it, but you're pretty good in bed. I think they deserve to hear at least that about their dear, sweet, Little Dipper~"

Oh the flush on his face is just delicious. You play dirty Bill.

I'll take it as a compliment, Pine Tree~ "It wouldn't be as bad as us showing them just how good you are."

Now Dipper looks downright fuckable; all wide-eyed and flushed from head to (what Bill pictures) toe. It really should be illegal to look so… so… cute? Really what would be a proper adjective to describe him besides fuckable (if that isn't a real word, Bill is going to highjack the English language). But the look warrants some kind of action and Bill would gladly do something, because he's not the kind of guy to really have a filter, y'know? Unfortunately, Bill also values his life and the promise of death by shotgun from Stanley Pines is no laughing matter. So Bill is going to bookmark this moment and act on it when he's not around Stanley and Sixer… and the insane number of sharp/exploding objects that are in this cabin.

A volley of images shows up in this shared space between them from Dipper's end, showing Bill no amount of harm Dipper wants done on him. And it's not the sexual kind either.

"Taking that as a compliment as well." You promised death, I'm promising far worse Pine Tree.

Horror and anger overcomes the flush on Dipper's face. "Don't."

"Then tell them." Bill's actually enjoying these Mexican Standoffs he has with his human.

"Fine." Dipper grounds out the word and leaves, probably to arrange a meeting of sorts.

It almost feels like the old days when he had the Pines Family wrapped around his finger.

He's used to having an audience, not matter the size.

The meatsacks he possessed and the parties he held in the Nightmare Realm created the confidence he holds when making deals and entertaining tourist with his new job in Gravity Falls.

Dipper on the other hand, doesn't. There's an underlying nervousness in his actions, an anxious energy that's building inside his lithe body. The micro-expressions Bill catches as he's watching Stanley and Sixer finally come into the room with Shooting Star and Question Mark show the worry gnawing deep inside the boy. The shaking in his hands are a silent signal that he's not handling the potential situation.

This won't do.

Bill grabs his hand and with a snap makes the world freeze. He wordlessly gestures Dipper to sit in a chair, the analytical expression on his face makes it clear that he's not in a mood for a fight.

Dipper falls into the chair and Bill kneels in front of him, grabbing his hands and massaging them.

"Inhale through your nose to the count of four, then exhale through your mouth to the count of four." He commands, listening to Dipper try the exercise. "Keep doing that until your heart isn't racing."

"My heart's racing?"

"I can hear it, Pine Tree. Now, why are you so stressed?"

Dipper doesn't answer, instead breathing like Bill instructed.

"Are you scared that your family is going to judge you?"

Dipper messes up and tries again.

Bill rubs the human's wrists with his thumbs. "Mason." He makes eye contact with Dipper to make certain the human knows how serious he is. "I've kept an eye on your family. There's quite a few things that Stanley and Sixer have done, but from what I have seen… judging you for something you had little control over is not in their character. Relax."

He looks uncomfortable and Bill mumbles a spell into his wrist, drawing all the tension out of Dipper's body.

Dipper lets out a shaky exhale and his heart rate slows down to what is considered normal for a young adult. "Wow… you need to teach me that sometime."

Bill has quite a bit planned in the near future. "Sure. Ready?"

Dipper nods and Bill pulls him up from the chair, allowing time to resume again.

"Alright kid, what's so big that you had to call a family meeting?" Stanley is attempting to stare Bill down, but he's unfazed.

Right now, Bill is mentally mapping out his escape routes when the bomb is dropped so he can make it out in one piece.

"Ok so… when I… you see the thing is…"

Oh this is going to take forever. "Gideon killed your nephew and I used a spell to bind his soul to mine to bring him back and thanks to the baby man, we're soulmates, magical boyfriends, potentially engaged or married for all time and eternity yada, yada, yada… How much do I need to pay for the dowry?"

There's a few reactions to this announcement.

Dipper blushes again.

Shooting Star lets out a… some sort of noise that almost reaches the frequency that only dogs can hear while stomping her feet. The look in her eyes is a little unnerving to him.

Question Mark chokes on his water.

Stanley and Sixer? Well they grab their guns.

Dipper stands in front of Bill, despite being his imitation of the red primary color. "Hold on Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford! If you kill him, you… kill me too." He takes a deep breath. "The spell bound us so if one dies then so does the other."

Shooting Star screams louder and higher until Question Mark covers her mouth. She's still screaming but it's muffed now.

Stanley puts the shotgun down by his feet but cracks his knuckles, aiming yet another promise of death at Bill. "You have a minute to explain."

"Certainly you see-"

~Dipper~

He needed to take over. Not that Bill was terrible with exposition, but he kinda already pissed off his Grunkles and they needed to get through this alive. "Gideon attacked me two days ago, at Home Depot. I don't remember much but Bill s- he brought me back."

"Wait are you saying…"

"Gideon killed me. Bill found me and used this soul-binding spell to bring me back."

Now the room was dead silent. Even Mabel stopped her… whatever it is she does when dogs start barking when she's near a cute guy.

And then… then Grunkle Stan stood up and left the room. From the kitchen, fast paced Spanish was heard and whatever it was, it made Bill pale.

Stan came back, disturbingly calm. "So, you," Obviously this was aimed at Bill from the tone he was throwing out. "Brought Dipper back from the dead. How did you do it? And more importantly… why?" The last indicator was that he started cracking his knuckles.

I think I want to take the shotgun…

Maybe you should show them the book? It was a suggestion. Stan tended to believe things he could see and since Bill hadn't mastered manners quite yet (it was much better than before where he would threaten just about anyone that took his energy drink/coffee; it was one of Dipper's regrets, introducing Bill to caffeine) it would be better to show than tell in this instance.

He watched Bill summon the book and opening it to the spell on the yellowing pages. Then he handed it to his grunkles. "There was a five-minute time frame in which the spell could be reversed. Bill planned on doing just that once he was done with Gideon, but things… didn't turn out as planned."

Ford had snatched the book away from Stan. "So the bond between you and Bill, it was all an accident?"

"A permanent accident but yes." Bill answered. He sounded rather short with that suggestion, which didn't quite make sense…

Dipper studied the demon for a decade. He never had ties or made connections to members of the human race other than those that made deals with him. Making a mistake or an accident would obviously piss him off, he prides himself for his knowledge. From his reaction, it almost sounded like he wanted this connection to happen.

He needed to direct the conversation into another direction. "It's not a bad thing… Look what I can do now!" With some concentration, he summoned sparks of lightning smiling widely as the sparks danced between his hands.

Stan fell out of his chair, letting out a few curse words. Ford dropped the book and stared in astonishment along with Soos.

Mabel squealed again. Thankfully nothing made of glass broke.

He glanced at Bill and noticed that the demon had a soft expression aimed at him, which made his heart beat a little faster. He looked away from him, back at his family.

Stan rubbed his head and then examined the power he was showcasing. "Dipper, are you doing this or is this his doing? Is this safe?"

"Of course it's safe-" Bill answered for Dipper, gripping his shoulder. "-It's not mine, but his power. He summoned a horde of Zombies with one of Fordsy's spells, a spell might I add that summons one or two at a time." He was grinning, pulling Dipper close. "You Pines have quite a bit of magical potential for a bunch of 'normal'-" He air quoted the word. "-meatsacks."

Stan narrowed his eyes. "You have three seconds to let go of my nephew."

Shit he sounds serious.

"Hmm, tell you what; I'm going to one-up that."

That was when Dipper ended up being kissed by Bill.

Like heavy make out, tongue fucking kiss.

In front of his family.

In broad daylight.

He's certain, absolutely honest to whatever deity is in charge of his messed up life certain that he's going to die now. If not by embarrassment, then by Stan… or Mabel screaming at him.

Stan let out a battle cry, raising the gun above his head like a Star Wars tusken raider, and chased a cackling Bill out and around the shack. Ford, with Soos' help, went after them; reminding his brother to not hit any vital organs.

Mabel… Mabel just lost it. She jumped up and screamed/squealed at such a high pitch he was certain that some windows cracked, or maybe that's his imagination, while dancing. Why she was dancing? This situation doesn't even warrant any sort of happy dance.

Stan is trying to injure Bill who saved his life. Which in itself is hard to wrap around due to history… oh man he's getting a headache now.

It is around this time Mabel drags him to the attic, locks the door and proceeds to squeal again until he's certain he hears coyotes… or wolves… maybe it's one of the gnomes? Something is reacting to her squealing. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I need to plan the wedding, the invites…"

"Mabel…"

"Are you going to have a baby?!" Mabel squealed again. "He/She will be so cuuuute~"

"Mabel."

"I'm going to spoil them rotten! You need to name them; can I pick the name?"

"Mabel!"

"Pacifica needs to know, and Grenda, and Candy! OH MY GOSH DOES WENDY KNOW!? OMG THIS COULD BE A LOVE TRIANGLE!"

He covers her mouth with his hand. "Did you have any Mabel juice?"

Mabel shakes her head and licks his hand.

"Gross. Look Mabel it's nothing like that."

"Of course it is! He asked about a dowry!" Shouting is heard from outside. "Stan's probably arguing about the price."

A few shots are heard outside and Dipper… well he's trying really hard to not roll his eyes at his sister.

"Mabel, Bill is just being an asshole. He'll do anything to get under their skin."

"But what about you? You blushed at the 'magical boyfriend/fiancée' title."

"You would do that exact same thing!"

All she did to counterpoint this was create her "skeptacles".

"Mabel…"

She started to grin.

"Don't you dare…"

The grin grew.

"Mabel… You're blowing this out of proportion." He scoffed, looking away from Mabel. "Besides I really doubt that Bill likes me like you're suggesting-"

A sharp whistle cut through just about everything and the twins opened the attic window. Peering down, they found Bill grinning like a loon up at them.

Oh no.

Once Stan, Ford, and Soos where in view Bill took a deep breath.

"Dipper est mon amoureux chouchou, precieux!" He proclaimed, causing anything within a few miles of the shack to scatter and for him to balance on his heels. Hell he even blew a kiss and winked to add garnish to what Dipper feared he said.

Stan must have understood French because he turned red and let loose a scream that would make a bloodthirsty Viking proud.

Bill simply cackled as he dodged a few more shots and teleported away, probably back to the apartment.

Dipper stepped away from the window, his anxiety kicking in as he dared glancing at his sister despite the furious blush he was sporting.

Mabel… oh she was already planning, if the evil grin and her humming the "Wedding March" was any sort of clue. She was also on her cellphone. "I call Maid of Honor bro-bro!"

Dipper was going to kill Bill.

That is if his Grunkles didn't get to him first.