Chapter 9
"Craig? Craig Tucker?" The cop asks.
Craig looks through the foggy window, recognizing the cop. "Shit"
"You know him?" I ask, astonished.
"He's a friend of my fathers." He says before he steps out of the car, shutting the door behind him.
I'm not sure if this means we will be in more, or less trouble. I'm praying for the latter. I see the them talk back and forth, unable to hear clearly through the closed door and window. I hear the cop say 'shame if your father found out about this.' Craig becomes angry, sporting a scowl, the officer on the other hand has a smirk on his face. They speak back and forth again, more quietly and I can't decipher the words being said. I see Craig reach into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He hands the cop a 100-dollar bill. The cop tips his hat, goes back to his car, turns the lights off, and waits. Craig comes back around and jumps in the driver's seat. He starts the car and speeds off, leaving a cloud of dust behind us. I buckle up in the back seat and stare at his face in the rearview mirror. His brows are pulled together and his jaw is clenched shut. He finally speaks through his teeth.
"Fucking shady ass cops in this fucking town, there goes my fucking tattoo money!" He's pissed.
"I'm so sorry," is all I can make come out of my mouth.
"This isn't your fault, it's mine, we both know that so shut the fuck up." He snaps. I can tell he's hurt and embarrassed.
"Well, at least now we still have a clean record." I say, trying to see the good in this situation.
He snorts, "YOU still have a clean record, I'm lucky I knew the prick, this would have been my second offence."
My throat goes dry. He'd done this before? How many times had he done this before actually getting caught? And with how many people? I suddenly feel extremely guilty about my decision to skip school and have sex in public. Not because of the action necessarily, but because I allowed my hormones to get the best of me and did it with Craig. Fucking Craig, I mean, I've know the guy forever but do I REALLY know him? I mean, I had no idea that he was a nympho, or that he partook in self-harm. Then my heart feels tight, thinking back to his thighs.
"Craig?" I squeak.
"What?" he snaps again.
"How… how long have you been… um" I can't make myself finish the question.
"What? Fucking in my car? That's what you want to know?"
"No, um… how long have-"
"I don't want to talk right now, Marsh. I'm extremely pissed and I don't want to take it out on you. I try the best I can to keep from hurting others when I'm angry."
"Is that why you hurt yourself instead?" I ask before I can stop myself, feeling like a total ass.
His expression changes, his face just goes completely blank. He doesn't speak.
"How long have you been hurting yourself?" I ask, as gently as I can.
"How long have you?!" He shouts back, and his angry face is back.
I sigh in defeat. "I don't, well didn't. That was the first time, and I sort of… lost myself in it. I don't know why I did it..."
He doesn't say anything back as we pull up in front of his house. He gets out and starts walking to the door before he turns around and looks at me through the windshield. "You coming?" He asks.
I get out of the car and slowly follow behind him. He pulls the key out of his pocket and unlocks the door. I start to look around, realizing that I haven't been to his house in years, and I don't think I've ever been past the living room. I notice that we are there alone, his parents must be out, and I begin to wonder why we didn't come back here in the first place. He seems to notice my cautious looks and he speaks.
"My parents left for work about an hour ago." He assures.
I follow him to the kitchen and watch him grab a baby carrot out of the fridge. He hands it to me and I look at him confused.
"Don't eat it, it's not for you. Come on" He starts walking up the stairs and I follow behind curiously.
Once we make it to his room he walks over to a cage in the corner. He pulls out the small, furry creature. It's a guinea pig. He sits on the bed and pats the spot next to him, asking me to sit. He doesn't take his eyes off the tiny animal. I sit next to him and he puts the little guy in my lap. Then he grabs my hand that holds the carrot and moves my hand toward the rodent's mouth. The creature sniffs the carrot before he starts to take small, consecutive nibbles off the carrot. I smile
"His name is Stripe 2." Craig says proudly, and I can tell that this is one of the few things that Craig cares about.
"He's cute." I look up to Craig's face but he hasn't taken his eyes off Stripe 2. It's quiet until Stripe 2 is halfway finished with his carrot. Then with a sigh, Craig finally speaks.
"Three years." He says quietly.
"What?"
"I've been self-mutilating for three years." And my heart starts to hurt for him. I remain quiet and just look him in the eyes, urging him to go on.
"I have manic anger" he continues. "I am supposed to be taking medication for it, but I don't. It makes me feel like a zombie. I know that it isn't me that's feeling happy, it's just the drugs tricking my brain. I don't like being 'pretend' happy. I hurt myself as punishment for losing my temper, it calms me down and keeps me from breaking things." He takes Stripe 2, who has now finished his treat, and puts him back in his cage. Then he sits down next to me again.
I'm hesitant to speak at first but find the courage "Have you tried other ways to release some of that pent-up anger?"
"yeah, I tried fucking around with people." He chuckles. "And it seems to help, a lot actually, until a cop taps on your window, that is."
"How long have you been fucking around with people?" I ask, though I know it's truly not my business.
"Hmm," he thinks for a minute. "I guess it was since this Friday when I tongue fucked you for the first time."
I feel my face heat up with embarrassment. "So, wait, you're just talking about me? Just me? You don't ya know, fuck around with tons of people?" I ask before I can stop myself. Damn, I really need to work on my filter.
He has a look of embarrassment and his cheeks start blush just slightly. And boy is it a sight. I never in my life thought I would see Craig Tucker blush, especially at me.
"Um, no. I'm a pervert, but I'm not a slut. Jesus, is that what you thought?"
I feel ashamed of myself but can't stop talking. "So, until today, you were, um… I mean I took your..."
"Yeah, you were my first fuck. Happy now? I mean it's really not your business but whatever." I can sense his tone getting a bit angry and I feel a little nervous, remembering what he just told me about his anger. He continues. "I wasn't yours though, I know that. I mean, you've probably fucked that girlfriend of yours, right?"
"Ex-girlfriend." Is all I can mutter. He seems surprised for half a second before turning angry again.
"But you fucked her, right?"
"… Yeah, once."
He gives a knowing nod, before he asks cautiously. "Did you like it?"
"No" I answer honestly. His expression softens.
"What about today, did you like that?"
"Yes." Deciding honesty is the best way to go. Then I get brave enough to ask, "Why did you choose to pursue ME, Craig?"
He stares at the ground and scuffs his shoe against the carpet, "Well, I mean… It started with me being mad at Tweek for the whole spin the bottle thing. It sucked seeing him that way with her… I was trying to make him jealous I guess, even though deep down I know he has no feelings for me. That's why I came at you the way I did, I didn't know what was going to happen, I wasn't thinking about that. When you started kissing back, I started to feel… butterflies I guess… God I sound like such a queer."
I chuckle a bit. "Craig, you are a queer." Then my gaze follows his to the floor. "But, I felt it too."
"You're in love with Kyle though, I see the way you look at him."
I feel guilty. "I don't want to be. Loving him hurts, and does no good, he's completely straight. I did this on Friday night." I lift my, still uncovered, arm, looking at the damage I had done. "He demanded to know what that was between you and I, and he kind of forced me to come out. Once he found out that he was the center of my affection, he left. He fucking left." I feel the familiar stinging again.
"He just left? You sure there wasn't more to it than that?" he pries.
"Well, I may or may not have kissed him."
"Shit…"
I brush the entire conversation off. "I want to forget about him. Please, help me forget about him. You're good at that."
He smirks and plants his mouth firmly on mine. Everything around me melts, and for the first time in my life I think, 'Who's Kyle?'
End
The end guys. I really hope you enjoyed reading. I know it isn't very long but I thought this was a great stopping point! Please be sure to R&R! And as always, thank you so much for taking the time to read!
