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Chapter 9: Alice's pov

Jasper had been right, my visions helped us get out of Italy unseen even though the sun was out.

He wanted to head back to America explaining it would be easier to hide from the guard over there.

I was more than willing to follow him and eager to get a large mass of water between me and the Volturi.

My faint daydream about travelling with Jasper was nothing in comparison to what it was actually like.

Even though we had the threat of the Volturi hanging over us I couldn't remember ever having more fun.

My life in Volterra had all been about duty and upholding the law, I'd never really done anything for myself before.

I felt bad for wasting time when I knew the guard was after us but it felt like I'd never even seen the world before.

Everything looked so different, so new.

As we swam back to America I kept diving deep to observe the underwater life around me, fascinated by this magical world I'd never seen before.

Jasper was very patient with me allowing me the time to explore, he seemed just as fascinated watching me as I discovered all the wonder the world held.

Occasionally he had to remind me we were in a hurry whenever I became too enthralled with something.

It was just the same when we finally reached land.

I hadn't been kept prisoner in Volterra, I had been outside, I had travelled at times but non of these memories provided any sort of feeling for just how amazing it was to see a butterfly flutter past and be able to count every wing beat, or to wander through a forest and pick out each species of bird that lived there from their different cries.

Two days after we'd left Italy Jasper stopped suddenly in the middle of a forest. He turned to me apprehension and guilt on his face.

"Alice I'm sorry, but I need you to check and see if they're following us."

I bit my lip, fear rising in me. I knew I had to do it, knowing where the guard was would help us avoid them, but all I could think of was what would happen if they caught us.

You said you'd do anything you could to help Jasper.

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes to focus.

Demetri had trailed us to the coast before heading back to Volterra to get further instructions from Aro.

I pulled back trembling when I saw Aro's reaction to the news.

"Alice?"

I looked up into Jasper's dark gold eyes and felt myself relax.

"They're still in Volterra trying to come up with a plan to follow us without me seeing."

Jasper let out a sigh of relief then hesitantly wrapped an arm around my shoulder in comfort. I willingly leant into him.

"I'm sorry Alice I wouldn't ask you to do that but I really need to know what they're planning."

I nuzzled into him more "I know. I'll keep an eye on them."

My fear faded slowly and I frowned looking up at Jasper. He'd done that before but I'd never had the chance to ask him how.

"How do you do that?"

He smiled at me "Do what?" he asked in an innocent tone I didn't believe for a second.

"Take my fear away, make me feel safe." I bit my lip, I hadn't meant to say the last part.

"It's what I do." he said cryptically before turning to carry on walking.

I pouted and folded my arms refusing to move.

He registered I wasn't following him and turned back to look at me, a soft smile spread across his face when he saw me standing there stubbornly.

"Why can't you just tell me?" I snapped "I mean I saved you, I followed you, I turned my back on everything and everyone I know for you. The least you can do in return is be honest with me."

Something flickered deep in his eyes and he sighed heavily.

"Ok, but try not to jump to conclusions, just let me explain everything." he stepped back towards me his eyes burning into mine with such intensity I couldn't move all I managed was a small nod of confirmation.

"I can sense peoples emotions." he began "When your sad or happy or frightened I can feel it." he paused and I nodded again to let him know I understood, he stared at me for a moment longer before continuing "I can also change the emotional climate of an individual. That's what I did, I took your fear away."

My eyes widened as the implication of his words hit me. That's what he'd done, that's how he'd got me to betray Aro.

Everything fell into place all the things that had never made sense.

When I'd first come round in his house and he'd tried to convince me I knew him, the recognition, that had been him making me feel it.

My eyes burned with the need to cry. Everything he'd done, everything I thought I'd been feeling it was all a lie, a trick to make me leave Aro and the worst thing was I'd fallen for it.

I looked up into his eyes taking deep breaths feeling utterly destroyed. I had thought he cared about me, I had thought I…

"Alice." he took hold of my arms and I flinched trying to pull free.

"Everything was a lie." I whispered.

"No!" he yelled "I have never forced you to feel anything, I never would all I've ever done is take away your fear when it got too much. Alice I swear"

I shook my head "How can I trust you? How can I believe you? How do I know your not tricking me?"

I refused to meet his eyes.

"You told me you didn't like being in Volterra." he said desperately "Why didn't you like being there? What happened to make you feel like that?"

"You did." I said stubbornly.

He shook his head "Tell me exactly what happened Alice."

I thought back "There was a trial the day I got back." I began slowly "Aro asked me to check and see if the vampire was a threat, if he would expose us. I did as he asked and saw that he would be, but…" a sob broke out of me as I remembered the pleading dull red eyes that had burned into me, begging for help. "He was just lonely." I said still sobbing "And they… they just…" I couldn't finish as the memories of that day filled my mind pulling me down.

Jasper's grip on my arms loosened and he pulled me to his chest, my fingers gripped his shirt tightly as I finally let myself grieve for the vampire I should have saved.

"Take it away." I begged as I continued to sob.

Jasper sighed sadly his arms tightening around me "I can't."

"You made me feel like this, make it stop. Make it stop." I begged over and over.

He pulled me as close as physically possible "I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry I can't. if I take it away now you'll still have to feel it later and believe me it'll be worse."

I slowly calmed down, my head resting against Jasper's chest listening to his breathing.

"I couldn't have manipulated your emotions that day." he said softly still holding me close. "I was too far away. I never have and never will force you to feel anything and I will never lie to you."

He dropped his arms and let me step back from his embrace.

"The day I came for you I took the biggest gamble of my life. I had no guarantee you would recognise me, no guarantee you would stop Felix from killing me."

I shuddered remembering how close he had been to death.

"But I didn't care." he continued "It was a risk I had to take. If you saved me I'd know you were still in there somewhere and I could get you back, if not." he sighed "If you didn't save me Aro had won and I had no reason to live if I didn't have you."

I blinked at how casually he could talk about his death.

"The most important thing in the world to me is your happiness but I'd never force you to feel happy if you weren't."

His eyes found mine and all his defences dropped as he looked at me.

"I can't live without you Alice. But my life means nothing compared to your happiness. So it's your decision , if you want me to leave you alone to think so you can be sure I'm not manipulating you I will, just promise me you'll say goodbye if you decide to go back."

His voice broke at the end.

I just stared into his eyes, a thousand thoughts running through my head.

This is another trick, go back to Aro.

What if he's telling the truth?

He'll die if I leave him, I don't want that.

What if he's lying?

What if he's manipulating you now and you don't know it?

He said he wouldn't do that.

How do you know you can trust him?

I've never felt happier than I have with Jasper.

What if it's all a trick?

I shook my head angrily trying to dispel all the thoughts whirling around.

What did I know for sure?

It had taken a lot for Jasper to confess his ability to me, surely if he was using it against me he'd never have told me.

I truly believed him when he said he couldn't live without me and I didn't want him to die.

Whether it was due to his manipulation or not I had not been happy in Volterra but I was happy with Jasper.

Did it really matter how or why I was happy?

My mind went back to how this all began, I'd gone to Jasper for answers because I'd believed he wouldn't lie to me.

I blinked once.

Everything in me was screaming to go back to Aro but it seemed to pale in comparison to one thought.

Jasper couldn't live without me and I wasn't certain I'd be able to survive without him.

I looked up into his eyes still confused.

My subconscious seemed to take over as my mind still tried to make sense of it all.

"I trust you." I heard myself saying.

He relaxed instantly smiling his smile that made butterflies explode in my stomach.

"Thank you." he whispered stepping towards me, one hand came up to my cheek and my eyes closed in contentment at the contact. "I wont let you down Alice. Never again." he vowed pressing a kiss to my forehead.

That was all it took for me to be one hundred percent certain I was never leaving his side.

We kept travelling aimlessly for a few more days, sometimes as we ran side by side Jasper would take hold of my hand making my whole body tingle.

I still took the time to explore and I could always feel his eyes on me, watching over me the whole time.

Despite the danger I was in with the guard after me I had never felt so safe.

"Aro's still undecided." I told Jasper as I checked back again "He knows I'll see when he sends someone after us and is trying to find a way around my visions. He doesn't seem to be in any hurry." I frowned wondering about that.

Jasper nodded slowly "At least they're not after us yet." he sighed.

We had taken a break from running and were just sitting side by side next to a small stream.

My eyes went to the water, picking out the movements of small fish and insects beneath the crystal blue surface.

Jasper seemed lost in thought so I stayed quiet. Sneaking occasional glances at him.

My head perked up as a tempting smell drifted through the air.

A low growl slipped out, it had been days since I hunted.

I was on my feet the next second, taking a deep breath so I could pinpoint the source.

Jasper's arms suddenly locked around my waist, I growled dangerously trying to manoeuvre out of his grip. He was interfering with my hunt.

"Alice. No!" he said firmly like he was chastising a child.

That just made me angrier.

"Let go!" I demanded wriggling pointlessly, he had an unbreakable hold on me.

Realising anger would get me no where I tried to calm down, the scent of blood drifting towards me made it difficult.

"Jasper please." I whined going limp in his arms.

He sighed heavily "I'm sorry, but you'll never forgive yourself if you kill someone."

What on earth was he talking about?

"But I'm thirsty." I whined again trying once more to escape his grip.

"Alice." he turned me so I was facing him his face creased with worry. "I'm sorry but we can't hurt humans."

"Why not?" I huffed "I'm thirsty." I pouted at him.

"Baby I'll find you something to drink ok?" his eyes held mine, full of concern and I gave in.

"Fine." I huffed continuing to pout.

Slowly he removed his arms from around me taking hold of my hand tightly as though afraid I would bolt.

He needn't have worried, I wasn't going to leave him.

He led me away from the scent of humans and my irritation increased with the burning in my throat.

"Just a reminder, we are vampires." I spat "We need to kill humans to feed."

He glanced down at me with a tight smile "No we don't."

I huffed again and refused to speak to him as he continued leading me away from my prey.

Not hunting humans? What the hell had I gotten myself into ?