When Jyn steps into Cassian's medical room, she stops and listens to the friendly banter between the two men, hiding a smile. Even when it seems times are at their darkest, she's learning that friends can help alleviate fear and desolation. There's nothing wrong with smiling and laughing while the world threatens to crumble, because constantly living in fear is no life to live—she knows from personal experience.
Yevez departs with a flourish and she greets Cassian, relieved to see that more color has returned to his skin, his eyes are bright and focused and he's sitting up and alert. It's a significant improvement since the last time she saw him.
She's already resolved not to tell him about the incident with Bodhi in the mess hall, because she doesn't want to add to his stress (she'd run into Councilor Mothma again on her way here and the woman had informed her that Cassian knew about the lost plans), nor will she tell him she's planning to work on building a body for K2, because she doesn't want to get his hopes up.
Instead, she tells him that they've been given rooms in his wing and he looks surprised and pleased at that. "The only thing is," she goes on, "I don't want to displace anyone, so if Councilor Mothma forced people to move out of there to make room for us—"
"She didn't," he interrupts.
Well that answers that question, she thinks, patting herself on the back for coming up with a sneaky way to ask so as not to raise suspicion. His assertion adds to the picture she's forming of him, using the small hints he and Yevez have given. It's a puzzling picture, one of a man who isolates himself—for a reason she hasn't yet pin pointed—and gives off the image and aura of a callous captain, and yet who is secretly kindhearted. It's a puzzle she vows to continue to piece together.
She's been silent for too long, staring at him, so she blushes and turns away, diverting her thoughts and changing the subject. "I gather you've heard about the Alliance's screw up."
He nods solemnly.
"I can't help thinking that it makes everything pointless. I mean, for all we know, the Death Star could be on its way here right this minute. And I can't understand why we're all just sitting here. Why isn't the base mobilizing and moving?" she confesses, needing to share her fears with someone before they tear her apart inside. She couldn't do this with Bodhi because she had to be the strong one, and she didn't want to speak with Chirrut and Baze about it because Baze would probably just hum and Chirrut would assure her to trust in the Force, but right now she needs something more concrete than the Force. So she naturally gravitated to Cassian. He will be her steadying force. "If they took prisoners," she continues, "if they took the Princess prisoner, they could be getting all sorts of information out of her!" As she finishes her rant, she sees pain flash across his face. Not physical pain, she's sure of that, but emotional. It stops her in her tracks. What had she just said to illicit such a response? Something about the Princess? she puzzles, then realizes with dawning horror that he might know her, and here Jyn is complaining callously about the information the Princess might give up, without showing any sympathy for the woman herself. Her fear is confirmed by his words a moment later.
"There are two reasons the base has not already moved," he explains evenly. "One is simple logistics and practicality. It is impossible to uproot a base as extensive as this one in only a matter of days. While there are contingency plans in place that I am sure they are already mobilizing on, it just can't happen." He pauses. "The second reason is much more important and it is this: if she is still alive, Princess Leia will not give the Empire anything," he states with conviction. "She was born into this galactic struggle and knows the stakes probably better than anyone. She will not break just to save her own skin."
"You know her," Jyn states quietly.
It's not really a question, but he answers anyway. "Yes, I know her. She is..." he seems to search for an adequate word, before shrugging and finishing, "a very good friend."
Jyn swallows. "I'm sorry… I didn't know."
He shakes his head, indicating the apology is unnecessary.
"The thing is," Jyn starts, unsure if she should continue, before she decides to heck with it, she might as well, "just because you know her and she's strong, doesn't mean she won't break under Imperial torture. You have no idea what it's like."
"And you do?" It's not a challenge, it's a concerned question.
She looks away. "Not personally, no. But I know it's beyond anything I can imagine."
He sighs in relief. "Good. I would not wish that on anyone, especially not you."
She turns back to him, surprised by his honesty, but he continues before she has the chance to make him elaborate on his assertion.
"I may not know what Imperial torture is like, but I am intimately familiar with torture—"
she has to force down a shudder at that statement, viciously denying the underlying meaning of it
"—and I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that Princess Leia will die before she reveals anything," he reassures her earnestly. "She was captured once before—not by the Empire, but in the process of evading them. It was her first official mission with the Alliance and it had gone well, but on the return trip, Empire ships appeared out of nowhere and she and the pilot escaped to the only place they could think of: a very remote Outer Rim Territory. She evaded the Empire, with them none the wiser to her involvement in the Rebellion, but the natives of the planet she landed on were incredibly mistrusting and suspicious."
His voice hardens, reminding her of their first meeting in the situation room, when he'd stepped out of the shadows and confronted her. "They thought she was with the Empire so they took her captive. She couldn't tell them the truth because they were equally anti-Alliance and particularly anti-Alderaan. As misguided as they were, they firmly believed Alderaan had only been supplying relief work to the Outer Territories as an opportunity to spy and take advantage of the locals. She told them nothing when they tortured her. And when they decided that wasn't working, they chose a new tactic. They told her they would torture the pilot who'd been captured with her if she didn't talk. She refused. Even once they began hurting her friend, she still didn't break."
Jyn has a horrible sneaking suspicion as to who the Princess' "friend" was, but decides now is not the time to press. Though he speaks with passion, she can tell his strength is fading and he's relying more and more on the pillows to support him. She has a feeling that Yevez's promised crash is almost upon them, so she changes the subject to easier topics.
Not long after, she's regaling Cassian with the story of what got her locked up on Wobani, when about halfway through she sees that his eyes are closed. "Cassian?" she calls softly, smiling when she receives no response and recognizes that he's fallen asleep. She rises to her feet, hesitates for a moment, then steps forward and settles the blankets more comfortably around him, leaning in almost on instinct to press her lips to his forehead in a soft kiss. She surprises herself at her tenderness, pausing a moment to understand what it means—how incredibly important Cassian has become to her—but she doesn't regret the gesture for a moment. He sighs contentedly, still asleep.
"Rest well, Cassian," she whispers, before slipping away.
She wanders the halls for a while, searching for a particular room. When she's unable to find it quickly, she stops people to inquire of its whereabouts. This time, her request for directions elicits immediate responses. A little while later, she steps through the doorway into the mechanical repair room. A droid greets here.
"Uh, hello," she replies. "I'm looking to try to find a decommissioned droid—or to assemble one myself—that can handle an Imperial droid's programming."
The droid hums. "Imperial circuitry is difficult and very different from our own. I'm not optimistic about your odds."
It sounds so much like K2 that Jyn's heart aches. "That's okay. I've always done well as a long shot."
"Very well, you'll find all available parts and bodies over in that area," it points. "Help yourself but I will be unable to assist you as my priorities have been set elsewhere."
"Thank you."
She spends the next hours elbow deep in circuits and grease, but her every attempt is blocked by the fact that she's working with non-Imperial droids. None of them accept K2's backup files. She looks up at one point, realizing half a day has passed and it's early evening, and decides to take a break, recognizing that continually hitting her head against a wall will not be helpful.
She heads to the mess hall, planning to grab something to eat and then find Chirrut, Baze or Bodhi in order to check in on them, when she's stopped by clamoring voices coming from the main hanger. Entering, she sees a crowd of people shouting animatedly, a degree of excitement in the air that she hasn't felt before. Spotting her three friends clustered along the edge, she walks to them. "What's going on?"
"Did you hear?" Bodhi demands excitedly. "The Princess is back! She's safe! And she has the plans!" Jyn can hardly believe her ears. "An attack on the Death Star is imminent! It's just come out of hyperspace on the other side of Yavin and fighters have already taken off, headed heading to intercept it! It's now or never, Jyn. It's now or never!" Bodhi can hardly speak he's so excited.
"Are you serious?" she demands.
"Indeed," Baze confirms, eyes glinting. "Bodhi speaks the truth."
"Well what's the status of the fighters?"
"They haven't started broadcasting beyond the situation room, and they won't let in anyone else."
"Oh won't they? We'll see about that." She stalks off in the direction of headquarters. When someone attempts to block her entry, she glares at them and waits for them to recognize her—the perks of being a known hero—and they backup, apologizing profusely.
She enters the darkened room, eyes immediately drawn to the crowd of people around the central control. She stays on the edge—remembering that this is where Cassian lurked during their first meeting—listening to the radio chatter but not getting any closer. Her eyes are drawn to the only other woman in the room, dressed all in white and, for a moment, Jyn thinks it's Councilor Mothma, until she looks closer and sees that the woman is young, probably Jyn's age or perhaps even younger. This must be Princess Leia, she remarks to herself, and she's immediately intrigued by this person who appears to mean so much to the Rebellion and of whom Cassian spoke so highly. She believes Cassian's deep respect is not earned easily, so this woman must be someone special to have gained his high regard.
She listens as Gold squadron begins their attack run, breath stuck in her throat and heart pounding. When the sound of their destruction crackles through the radio, despair settles in her stomach. This is their only chance! If they can't do it, in seven minutes this base will be obliterated. She'll meet with the Death Star's blast for a third time and this time, she knows there will be no miracle ship to spirit her away.
As she listens to the chatter and contemplates that she might die in the next few minutes, she realizes she doesn't want to be standing in a control room with people she doesn't know when it happens. Cassian may not be awake yet, but if she's about to die, she wants to be with him as it approaches, just like on the beach of Scarif.
She exits the control room at a sprint, but the radio chatter doesn't stop; they're broadcasting it throughout the base, now. In this, either their finest hour or their final moments, the Rebellion is truly an Alliance. Everyone stops and listens, prayers murmur from lips, and hands clasp hands that have never touched each other before. In this moment, they are a united force.
She makes it to Cassian's room in record time. Jyn can't handle a crowd right now, but she needs someone—her heart whispers that she needs Cassian—so this is the perfect solution. She leaves the door open to let the broadcast filter in from the hallway and sits down in the chair. She closes her eyes, taking his hand in hers, and listens as their fate approaches.
She hears the second attack run fail, hears Wedge Antilles get hit and pull away and Biggs Darklighter die, leaving a lone X-Wing pilot, Luke Skywalker, against the entire Death Star. She listens to it all, all the while aware that six and a half minutes have passed, meaning the Death Star is now in range and will fire at any moment... She doesn't want to die. She didn't want to die on Scarif, either, but she'd been more ready for it then than she is now. Now she's had a taste of what life could be from here—part of something greater, part of the Alliance, with her friends and Cassian by her side—and she doesn't want to let it go.
But it's out of her hands now. They're seconds away from annihilation, when all of a sudden, a piercing yell echoes through the radio, followed by "You're all clear kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!" Jyn has no idea who it is, but she suddenly understands he's given Skywalker a chance, and just like she'd told the volunteers on Scarif, Skywalker's taking it.
It's over. Her father's final and greatest project and dream, the destruction of the Death Star, is realized. Through the hall echo screams and yells of celebration. She's too numb to celebrate herself, but she walks to the doorway and leans against it, soaking in the happiness permeating the air. "Can you hear that, Cassian?" she looks over her shoulder with deep fondness at the still unconscious man. "We've done it!" she whispers, the importance of that sentence suddenly sinking in. Now, she has a chance, a chance to spend time with this man, a chance to get to know him, and she is going to take that chance.
She turns back to the hallway that is empty of everything but echoing celebration. "Thank you, Skywalker," she whispers her gratitude with all of her heart. "Thank you for making our mission, our sacrifice worth it. It makes it just a little easier, knowing we went through hell for a reason."
xxXxx
She wakes gradually, slowly coming to her senses as murmuring voices draw her from sleep. She doesn't stir at first, trying to remember exactly where she is and what is going on, and then she remembers. She'd sat down on the end of Cassian's bed, between his feet and the wall, but she has no memory of falling asleep. What's unsettling, however, is that she is no longer in a sitting position, leaning against the wall. It's obvious that she's prone and on her side with her back pressed against the wall. Her legs are tucked up close to her chest and, as a result, are half falling off the bed half leaning against Cassian's legs under the blanket, and most disconcertingly, she realizes her head is not on the bed, because it's elevated. It takes her a moment to understand that her head is resting on his leg as well, just above his knee.
She's mortified, primarily because she's terrified she's hurting him, but also because she can hear a woman talking and therefore someone has witnessed her out of character softness! And then it gets worse, because she hears Cassian's voice rumble back lowly. She's elated that he's awake again, but horrified that he, too is witnessing her cuddle up next to him! And that's when her inner voice pipes up. Moments ago when your death was imminent, you were lamenting the fact that you would never get to take a chance with him! And then once you understood you have the chance to, you were all for taking it! Perhaps this is a little sooner than you anticipated, but be grateful, Jyn! Embrace it!
She tunes back into the conversation between the unknown woman and Cassian, in time to hear the tail end of her recounting the Death Star's destruction.
"I'm sorry I missed it," Cassian says quietly. "Then again, not really. I'm not sure I could have handled the suspense."
"It was quite something," the woman agrees. "And to think that we have a Jedi on our side! I still can't believe it."
"And he was one of those who helped you get free?"
"Yes, he and a smuggler, Han Solo."
"I'll have to make sure I thank them," Cassian says earnestly.
"Well you can thank Luke for sure, but don't bother with Solo," she huffs. "That man is insufferable. He was only in it for the money and the moment he had it, he left!"
"But he came back," Cassian points out, and Jyn thinks she can hear the beginnings of a smile in his voice.
"Well, yes but," the woman splutters quietly, "but he's still self-absorbed, egotistical, and has questionable morals!"
"Ah, so you like him!" Now Jyn's sure he's smiling, and she can hardly suppress her own amusement as Cassian teases his friend, who Jyn now understands is Princess Leia.
"What? I never said that!" the woman disagrees crossly.
"But you were thinking it!"
She hears a very soft sound that sounds like a hand gently slapping skin, followed by an indignant "Hey!" from Cassian. "Don't go beating up a wounded soldier!" he admonishes, still with a lighthearted tone.
It's at this point that Jyn's about to sit up and reveal that she's awake, feeling guilty that she's listened in for as long as she has, when she suddenly becomes aware of the tense silence that has fallen after his comment. She decides now it not the best time to "wake up."
"Hey, come on now," Cassian reassures softly, "I'm only kidding. You barely laid a finger on me and I deserved it."
There's a heavy sigh. "Of course you deserved it. It's just, you reminded me of what I've been trying very hard not to think about…" She pauses before continuing, "I knew you were down there, Cassian. I knew you and Jyn Erso had led the charge, and I was both incredibly proud of you and terrified for you at the same time. I saw the Death Star blast the planet just before Captain Antilles got us out of there and I didn't know what to think. Were you dead? Had you escaped? I had no idea," she whispers, voice thickening with emotion.
"Hey, hey," he murmurs. Cloth rustles and his body shifts slightly beneath Jyn's head as she hears him reach out and pull the Princess into a hug. "I'm okay. I'm alive. And I'm not the only one who's had a brush with death in the past few days. Mothma told me Vader had taken your ship and I didn't know whether to hope you were still alive or that you had died… I'm so sorry you went through that, Leia. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, least of all you."
The Princess sniffs back tears. "It's only fair. I've watched you endure so much for the Rebellion, sacrifice too much, seen you be asked to do things I'm ashamed they asked you to do… It was my turn."
Cassian's tone darkens, and Jyn can picture the heavy scowl on his face. "That's not how it works. What I do has nothing to do with you and there's no taking turns. I do what I do so others don't have to. So that others are spared."
"Well, there's no point arguing over it now. I'm alive and you're alive, though I hear from Yevez that this is the closest we've come to losing you, even including our mission together. I can't even begin to imagine how bad it was if it was worse than that, and I would like it very much if you would promise never to allow it to happen again."
She hears Cassian chuckle.
"What is funny about that?" the Princess demands.
"It's just that it reminds me of something someone else asked me to promise. I'll tell you what I told her: I promise to try."
There's a silence and Jyn can almost feel their gazes burning into her.
"Well, then I guess all I can hope for is that that's enough."
They lapse into companionable silence and Jyn tries to figure out how she can "awaken" without raising suspicion, when she feels Cassian's leg spasm beneath her and hears him wince. "Ack, Leia could you help me please? Could you help shift Jyn off of my leg? I hate to risk waking her, she deserves the rest, but my leg fell asleep ages ago and is now cramping as it wakes up."
The Princess assents immediately and moments later gentle hands are pushing Jyn's shoulders back.
Well, no time like the present, Jyn thinks, opening her eyes.
The other woman startles and immediately removes her hands from Jyn's shoulders. "My apologies, Jyn Erso, it was not my intention to wake you. It's just that Cassian's leg is growing uncomfortable."
She blinks blearily and sits up slowly. She'd considered rocketing awake and leaping from the bed in embarrassment, as that was more in line with her character, but she'd decided not to. She wants to make a point that she's ready to change.
She lets her eyes slide to Cassian's and he smiles at her. "Jyn, I would like you to meet my friend, Princess Leia."
Jyn's eyes move to the young woman dressed in white, whom she'd seen earlier in the situation room. Her long brown hair has been released from the hairstyle Jyn saw earlier and now flows over the Princess' shoulders. She has a young and beautiful face, but there's a strength in her gaze that Jyn finds herself applauding. She already likes this woman. "It's a pleasure, your Highness," she greets hoarsely, voice rough from sleep, "but don't expect me to get up and bow."
Both Cassian and Princess Leia huff in amusement. "There's no need for that, and please, I'm Leia to my friends and any friend of Cassian is a friend to me."
"All right then," Jyn nods agreeably. "I'm happy at your safe return and thank you for receiving and returning the Death Star plans to the Alliance." She sees Cassian's leg twitch again and feels guilty because she knows how painful muscle cramps can be, though his face gives nothing away. Casually, she begins massaging Cassian's leg through the blanket in order to restore circulation to it, glancing at him to make sure he doesn't object.
Surprise crosses his face, then gratitude, then, "You don't have to do that, Jyn."
"Nonsense, it's no trouble," she dismisses. "It was my big head that made it fall asleep in the first place."
Leia smiles and stands. "Unfortunately I need to go meet with the Council. I've been neglecting them for far too long and we need to speed up our evacuation plans now that the Empire knows our location." She moves forward and reaches for Jyn's hand, grasping it in a firm handshake when Jyn responds. "Thank you for all that you've done, Jyn. I'll leave you both to get some rest." She makes it all the way to the door and is about to leave before she turns around. "And look after him, please. Sometimes he's so busy watching out for everyone else and carrying the weight of the Alliance on his shoulders that he forgets to take care of himself." And then she's gone.
Jyn can't conceal the smirk that slides onto her face. She definitely likes this woman.
"Hey," Cassian hisses from her left. She turns to look at him. "Don't go getting any ideas," he warns her seriously.
"Me? Ideas?" she asks innocently. "I've no idea what you're talking about. Now," she rises, following Leia's lead and heading quickly towards the door, "I should really go catch a few hours of sleep in my own bed. As should you, without a pesky visitor taking up half of your leg room."
"Hey! I mean it!" he calls after her, raising a hand to point accusingly. "I have a sneaking suspicion you two will get along very well and that it will not go in my favor. I don't need you two ganging up on me! I can already see the ideas turning in your head."
Her face morphs into a full blown grin. "Now what ever makes you think that?" she asks smugly, before leaving the room.
xxXxx
It's after two in the morning when she makes it back to her room. In the time that it takes her door to open, she groans, remembering that she'd left her bed in Bodhi's room and will probably have to sleep on the floor. But she's pleasantly surprised to see that her bed is tucked back onto its frame, neatly made and everything. She smiles. What a sweetheart.
She goes to throw herself down on the cot and lose herself to the oblivion of sleep, but an object at the foot of the bed catches her eye: a blaster. There's a brief note attached.
"A Rebel always needs a good blaster that she trusts by her side. I hope this one will suffice. – C"
Grinning, she tucks the weapon onto a shelf and slides into bed. It's a wonderful feeling, having people who care about you and who will always have your back.
.
.
.
.
A.N. Leia's background is not quite cannon in my story. Therefore the story Cassian tells is entirely of my own creation/cannon. As I said earlier, I loved the idea of Leia and Cassian knowing each other and being friends, and this was how I could work it in.
I also realize this story is a lot more angsty and talk-y than what I usually write... hmm. Is more action wanted?
