Chapter 7-The Emperor's New Groove Part 3-The Bridge, the Café, and the Chase

(We come upon the woods; Pacha is washing his face with the nearby river, while Justin and his friends are nearby eating some rations they brought. Kuzco walks up to Pacha.)

Kuzco: Uh, hey. (Hands Pacha his poncho) Thanks.

Pacha: Oh. (Takes the poncho) No problem.

Kuzco: Feels like wool.

Pacha: Yeah.

Kuzco: Alpaca?

Pacha: Oh, yeah, it is.

Kuzco: Oh, yeah, I thought so. It's nice.

Pacha: My wife made it.

Aqua (hearing the conversation): Oh, she knits?

Pacha: Crochets.

Roxas: Crochets? Nice.

Pacha: Thanks.

Kuzco: So…I was thinking that when I got back to the city, we'd…I mean, there's lots hilltops, and maybe I might…

Sora: Are you saying you've changed your mind?

Kuzco: Oh, well, I…

Kairi: Because you that means you're doing something nice for someone else.

Kuzco: I know that.

Ventus: And you're all right that?

Kuzco: Yes. (Pacha, as well Justin and his friends, look at him hard. Then Pacha holds out his hand.) What? (He holds out his hoof)

Terra: Don't shake unless you mean it.

(Kuzco shakes Pacha's hand.)

Xion: All right. Let's get you back to the palace.

Pacha: Oh, by the way, thanks.

Kuzco (smugly): No…thank you.

(They head back to the palace. Sometime later, they reach a bridge. Sora and the others are giving Justin some on the fly training.)

Pacha: Okay. Once we cross this bridge, it's only an hour to the palace.

Kuzco: Good, because believe it or not, I think I need a bath.

Namine: I believe it.

Kuzco: What was that?

Pacha: Nothing. (Falls through a rotting board and gets caught in the vines under the bridge, along with Justin and his friends) Ohh! Whoa! Kuzco! Kuzco!

Kuzco: (nonchalantly) Yeah?

Riku: Quick, help us up!

Kuzco: No, I don't think I will.

Pacha: You're going to leave us here?

Kuzco: Well, I was going to have you twelve imprisoned for life, but I kind of like this better.

Sora: We thought you were a changed man.

Kuzco: Oh, come on, I had to say something to get you twelve to take me back to the city.

Lea: So all of it was a lie?!

Kuzco: Well, yeah. No, wait. Uh, yeah, yeah, it was all a lie. Toodles. (Walks away)

Roxas: (yells) WE SHOOK HANDS ON IT!

Kuzco: (coming back) You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is...you need hands. Ha! Okay. Buh-bye. (falls through boards and also gets caught in the vines) Aah!

Pacha: Are you okay? Are you all right?

Kuzco: Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm all right.

Sora: Good! (Power punches him, with a snarl) That's for going back on your promise!

Kuzco: (hits them back) Yeah, that's for kidnapping me and taking me to that village...which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way. Ah ha ha ha! (See Terra coming in fast) No touchy. (Terra slams him with his Keyblade, which sends him slamming into the rock wall) Ooh!

Pacha: Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you? I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, ooh, you proved me wrong.

Kuzco: Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.

Pacha: I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over.

Kuzco: Well, that makes you ugly and stupid.

Pacha: Let's end this.

Kuzco: Ladies first.

Pacha: Aah!

Kuzco: Yaah!

(Kuzco and Pacha fly at each other and begin fighting. The stress causes the bridge to collapse, which cause everyone to fall into the crevice below. They suddenly bang into pairs, Pacha with Kuzco, Terra with Lea, Riku with Xion, Sora with Kairi and Ventus in a trio, Roxas with Namine, and Justin with Aqua. Further down there are crocodiles)

Kuzco: What are we gonna do? Aah! What are we gonna do? We're gonna die! We're gonna die! That's it for me!

Sora: I'm thinking.

(Justin looks up and sees some vines.)

Justin (remembering the Three Virtues from the Bionicle Series): This is a Unity challenge. We're not. I have an idea. Everyone, link your arms with you partner or partners.

(They do that.)

Aqua (Seeing what Justin is planning, smiles): I like how you think.

Justin: Everyone ready.

Others expect Kuzco: Ready!

Justin: Okay, everyone, push against each other's backs, and we'll walk up the canyon. Go.

(Everyone pushes. Kuzco doesn't and is slammed into the canyon wall.)

Kuzco (to Pacha): Ow! You did that on purpose! (Shoves back)

Justin: No he didn't! Unity is only thing that will get us out of this so work together.

Aqua: We're following Justin's lead on this.

Justin: Right foot.

Kuzco: Who's right, yours or mine.

Justin: Each group can choose.

Aqua: I go on your right, Justin.

(Everyone choose which right foot to follow.)

Sora: Ready?

Riku: Ready!

Justin: Right. Left

(They begin to climb out)

Kuzco: Ha ha! Look, we're moving! (Looks down at the crocodiles) Aah!

Pacha: Don't look down! Now, stay with me. Stay with me. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right!

(The crevice begins widening so that they can't go up anymore.)

Kuzco (to Justin): Now what, genius?

Justin: Working on it. Okay, here's the deal. Each group will have one stretch out while the other grabs the ropes.

Kuzco: How do I know Pacha here won't me fall after he grabs the rope.

Pacha: You're just going to have to trust me!

(Each group has their strongest member stretch out, while Ventus and Sora work together to help Kairi. Aqua elects to push Justin up. Justin is stunned by Aqua's strength.)

Justin: Not to break your concentration, Aqua, but you're as strong as Terra.

(Terra hears this and blushes. Aqua blushes as well but keep focused on the situation at hand.)

Kuzco (To Pacha, grunting): It's a good thing you're not a big, fat guy, or this would be really difficult.

Kairi: I almost… (Grabs a vine) Got it.

(The others grab their vines, and help each other onto each other's backs, while Kairi pulls on her vine to allow Ventus to grab on as well. They start to climb. Pacha is having difficulty with his, which stuck on a brush.)

Pacha (gives it a tug): It's stuck.

Kuzco: Take your time. No hurry here. (Scorpions fall into his fur) Scorpions! Aah ha ha!

Pacha: Kuzco!

(Kuzco scrambles and gets his mouth stuck in an opening in the wall. The scorpions make their way to Pacha who slams back against the wall to kill them. The banging wakes up the bats that live in the cave. Since Kuzco's mouth is blocking the entrance, they all fly into his mouth until he's pushed back from the opening and they can fly out. The momentum makes him and Pacha fly all the way up to the top of the canyon wall, just as the others finish climbing up.)

Sora (after a second of being stunned): Well that was unexpected.

(The Canyon wall starts to crumble, threatening to take Sora and Pacha with it.)

Justin: LOOK OUT!

(Kuzco pulls Pacha back, while Justin pulls Sora away.)

Justin: All right!

Kuzco: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Oh, look at me and my bad self. I snatched you right out of the air. 'Oooh, I'm a crumbly canyon wall and I'm taking you with me.' Well, not today, pal. Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Pacha: You just saved my life.

Kuzco: Huh? So?

Pacha: I knew it.

Kuzco: Knew what?

Pacha: That there is some good in you after all.

Kuzco: Oh, no.

Pacha: Admit it.

Kuzco: Wrong.

Pacha: Yes, there is.

Kuzco: Nuh-uh.

Pacha: I think there is.

Kuzco: Nuh-uh!

Pacha: Hey, you could've let me fall.

Kuzco: Come on, what's the big deal? Nobody's that heartless. Don't read too much into it. It was a one-time thing.

Pacha: Right. Sure.

(While Pacha and Kuzco talk, Sora and the other talk to Justin.)

Sora: You came up with an idea that got us out while I was drawing blanks.

Roxas: And you saved Sora's life.

Justin: Where are you all going with this?

Aqua: Those traits are those of a strong leader.

Justin: I'm still an apprentice.

Terra: That shouldn't matter.

Kairi: At least expect a role of deputy leader for now, Justin.

Justin (Smiles, knowing what Kairi means): All right.

Pacha: Let's get going, with that bridge out, it's a four day walk to the palace.

Kuzco (surprised): What? You mean all of you are still taking me back?

Ventus: We shook on it, didn't we?

Kuzco: Well, yeah, but I hope you realize that doesn't change a thing. I'm still building Kuzcotopia when I get back.

Pacha: Well, four days is a long time. Who knows? Maybe you'll change your mind.

Kuzco: Uh-huh. Four days. What are the chances of you carrying me?

Pacha: Not good.

(Some time later, we Pacha carrying Kuzco.)

Pacha: Low blood sugar, huh?

Kuzco: Yeah, it's a curse. Ha.

Lea: Well, as soon as we get something to eat, you're walking the rest of the way.

(They arrive at a restaurant, but there is a sign over the door that states 'No Llama's'. They look at each other and think.)

Waitress: Welcome to Mudka's Meat Hut, home of the mug...of meat. What'll it be?

Pacha: Ahem. We'll have thirteen specials. Is that all right, dear?

(Kuzco is now dressed up like a woman.)

Kuzco: Oh, whatever you say, pumpkin. You know what I like.

Pacha: Hee hee hee. We're on our honeymoon. (Mentioning to Justin and his friends) And they are family friends.

Waitress: Bless you for coming out in public. So that's thirteen specials, two for the couple, and eleven for the friends.

Kuzco: And an onion log. To split.

Justin: And we'll each have a side of mashed potatoes and corn.

Waitress: Ordering! I need thirteen heartburns a deep-fried doorstop, and eleven potatoes and corn dishes on table twelve and thirteen.

(As soon as she is gone, the group laughs.)

Pacha: Okay, so I'll admit this was a good idea.

Kuzco: When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones?

Xion: That's funny, because I thought going into the jungle by yourself, being chased by jaguars, lying to us to take you back to the palace, were all really bad ideas.

Kuzco: Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.

(The waitress returns with the meals.)

Waitress: Hot and crispy pillbug for the happy couple and the friends. Mazeltov.

Pacha (opening his pillbug): Oh boy. (starts eating)

(Kuzco is disgusted by the sight of the pillbug. Justin scratches his head.)

Aqua (stops eating and swallows her bite): You okay?

Justin: I'm fine. It's just I never thought I see the day I would be eating something like this. I hate bugs. Might as well get this over with.

(Justin opens his pillbug, and takes a bite, and is surprised by its taste)

Justin: This is actually pretty good. (Continues eating.)

(Kuzco see this and becomes more disgusted, and nearly heaves)

Pacha: Oh, here, let me get that for you. (Opens Kuzco's pillbug)

Kuzco: Bleaggh! Uck!

Pacha: Where are you going?

Kuzco: I'm just going to slip into the kitchen and have a word with the chef.

Pacha: You're gonna get us thrown out.

Kuzco: Please. With this disguise, I'm invisible.

Guy at bar: (watches Kuzco walk by then gives Pacha a thumbs up) Heh heh! (Pacha gives the thumbs up back.)

(Yzma and Kronk walk in and sit right behind Pacha.)

Yzma: We've been walking around in circles for who knows how long. That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel. I should have done away with Kuzco myself when I had the chance.

(Pacha hears this and coughs. Justin and his friends stop eating and listen closely while not giving themselves away.)

Yzma: And to make that even worse, that buffoon Pete won't give me the power he promised in return for the Heart Crystal until Kuzco is dead.

Aqua: Pete's here?!

Justin: What's a Heart Crystal?

Kairi: When we finish up here, we'll get our answers.

Kronk: Oh, you really gotta stop beating yourself up about that. (Yzma bends her fork.) Uh-oh. I'll get you another one there, Yzma. (To Pacha) You using that fork there, pal? (Pacha hands him the fork, Kronk looks at him as well as Justin and his friends) Hey, don't I know any of you?

Pacha: I don't think so.

Kronk: Wrestled you in high school?

Pacha: Don't remember that.

Kronk: Metal shop? I got it! Miss Narca's interpretive dance - two semesters. I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles. Come on, pal. You gotta help me out here.

Pacha: I don't think we've ever met, but we've gotta go. (Gets up and begins walking away towards the kitchen, along with Justin and his friends)

Kronk: Don't worry, I'll think of it.

(In the kitchen, Kuzco is talking to the chef.)

Kuzco: Look, all I know is the food looked iffy. I'm not the only one that thinks that, I'm sure.

Pacha: (from the doorway) Psst! Hey!

Kuzco (while the chef gets increasingly angry): So, I'm just checking to make sure you're going to take the main course up a notch.

Aqua: Come on.

(Pacha and Terra wrestle Kuzco away.)

Kuzco: It's a simple question. Is there or is there not anything edible...on this menu?

Pacha (see Kronk approaching the door): Gah! (Pushes Kuzco in the opposite direction)

Kuzco: Hey, I didn't ask him about dessert yet!

(They hide in a storage room)

Kronk: Hey, pal, what's your policy on making special orders?

Chef: All right, buster, that's it! You want a special order, then you make it! I quit!

Kronk: Yeah, but I -

Chef: I try and I try, but there's no respect for anyone with vision. That's it! There's just nothing I can do about it!

Kronk: Please don't go.

Waitress: Three pork combos, extra bacon on the side, two chili cheese samplers, a basket of liver and onion rings, a catch of the day, and a steak cut in the shape of a trout. You got all that, honey?

Kronk: Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of grandma's breakfast, and change the bull to a gill, got it.

Kuzco: What's going on?

Terra (wrestling a window cover open): No time to explain. We gotta get out of here.

Yzma: What is he doing in there?

Terra (opening the cover): Unh! Come on!

Kuzco: In a minute, I'm still hungry.

Pacha: No, Kuzco!

Kuzco: Okay, I'll make it simple for you. I'll have a spinach omelet with wheat toast. You got it?

Kronk: Can do.

Yzma: What's taking so long?

Kronk: Pickup!

Yzma: Kronk! What are you doing?

Kronk: Kinda busy here.

Yzma: Why am I not surprised?

Kronk: Your order's up!

(From here on out every time Yzma and Kuzco speak, they come in the door to the kitchen and go right back out. Like as soon as one of them walks out the other walks in. During this, Pacha, as well as Justin and his friends hide in different places in the kitchen)

Yzma: (walks in) Ohh! Oh, well, while you're at it, make me the special. And hold the gravy! (walks out)

Kronk: Check. Pickup!

Kuzco: (walks in) You know what? On second thought, make my omelette a meat pie. (Walks out)

Kronk: Meat pie. Check.

Yzma: (walks in) Kronk! Can I order the potatoes as a side dish?

Kronk: I'll have to charge you full price.

Yzma: Ooh! (walks out)

Kuzco: (walks in) Hey, how about a side of potatoes, my buddy? (Walks out)

Kronk: You got it. Want cheese on those potatoes?

Yzma: (walks in) Thank you, Kronk. Cheddar will be fine. (Walks out)

Kronk: Cheddar spuds coming up.

Kuzco: (walks in) Spuds yes, cheese no. (Walks out)

Kronk: Hold the cheese.

Yzma: (walks in) No, I want the cheese. (Walks out)

Kronk: Cheese in.

Kuzco: (walks in) Cheese me no likee. (walks out)

Kronk: Cheese out.

Yzma: (walks in) Cheese in! (Walks out)

Kronk: Come on, make up your mind!

Kuzco: (walks in) Okay, okay, on second thought...

Kuzco & Yzma: (walks in) Make my potatoes a salad. (Kuzco ducks out before Yzma can see him. She rubs her ear to make sure that's she's not having hearing trouble, then walks out. Soon Pacha, as well as Justin and his friends stealthily exit the kitchen. Yzma goes and sits down at her table. Kuzco is directly across from her. Every time one of them lowers their menu, the other raises it. Pacha sees this and goes over to the Waitress.)

Pacha: Excuse me. You see that woman over there? (Whispers the rest to her)

Waitress: No problem, hon. We do that all the time.

(A few minutes later)

Waiters: (singing to Yzma) One, two, three, four. Happy, happy birthday from all of us to you. We wish it was our birthday so we could party, too. Happy, happy birthday, may all your dreams come true...

(While this is happening, Pacha and Terra snag Kuzco, and race out of the café.)

Kronk: (coming out of the kitchen) Ha ha ha! It's your birthday?

(Outside, Kuzco is struggling while the others get out.)

Kuzco: What are you doing?

Pacha: Look, there's two people in there looking for you.

Kuzco: What?

Aqua: A big guy and a skinny old woman.

Kuzco: Wait. Was this woman scary beyond all reason?

Roxas: Hell yeah.

Kuzco: That's Yzma and Kronk! I'm saved!

Namine: Trust me, they're not here to save you.

Kuzco: They'll take me back to the palace. Thanks for your help. You've all been great. I can take it from here.

Lea: You don't understand. They're trying to kill you.

Kuzco: Kill me? Their whole world revolves around me.

Sora: No, we can't let you!

Kuzco: What? Wha - oh, I get it!

Kairi: What?

Kuzco: None of you want to take me back to the palace. You want to keep me stranded out here forever.

Pacha: No!

Kuzco: This has all been an act, and I almost fell for it.

Justin: Will you just listen to us -

Kuzco: No, no, you listen to me. All you care about is that stupid hilltop!

Pacha: What?

Kuzco: You don't care about me. Now, just get out of here. Go!

Ventus: But -

Kuzco: Go on! Get outta here!

Pacha: Fine! Hmph! (leaves along with Justin and his friends)

(A minute later Yzma and Kronk come walking up.)

Yzma: Oh, this entire mess is your fault.

Kronk: What'd I do?

Yzma: If you hadn't mixed up those poisons, Kuzco would be dead now! There'll be no more diversions until we track that llama down and kill him!

Kronk: Said I was sorry. Can't we just let it go? Not even on your birthday.

Yzma: Kuzco must be eliminated. The empire will finally be rid of that useless slug.

Kronk: You've got a point. Nobody really seems to care that he's gone, do they?

(Kuzco hears all of this then runs off looking for Pacha as well as Justin and his friends.)

Kuzco: Pacha!

(A day later, we see Pacha in a valley, watching the lamas he herded graze. Justin and his friends are helping.)

Pacha: (talking to llamas) So there we were standing on the cliff, and the ground started to rumble. And just as it started to go, he grabbed me before I fell. Do you believe that? You know, call me crazy for following this guy all the way out here, but as much as he tries to deny it, I know there's some good in him. (As Kuzco walks up) Besides, I couldn't just leave him out here all alone. He's a lousy llama. I mean, a really lousy llama.

Kuzco: Hey, listen, Pacha, guys, you know, what I said to you back at the diner, that - that - I - I didn't really...

Sora: So, you tired of being a llama?

Kuzco: Ye-ee-ee-es!

(We then see them on their way to Pacha's village.)

Pacha: Okay, we're just gonna stop at the house and get some supplies.

Kuzco: Then we'll be on our way, right?

Pacha: Right.

(On their way up two villagers playing a game stop them)

Villager 1: Hey there, Pacha. You just missed your relatives.

Pacha: My relatives?

Villager 2: We just sent them up to your house.

Pacha: What did they look like?

Villager 2: See, there was this big guy and this older woman who was...how would you describe her?

Villager 1: Scary beyond all reason.

Villager 2: Yeah, that's it.

Terra: This is starting to get dangerous.

Justin: Now what?

(At Pacha's House, we see Chicha serving tea to Yzma)

Chicha: So, remind me again how you're related to Pacha?

Yzma: Why, I'm his third cousin's brother's wife's step-niece's great-aunt. (Chicha has a suspicious look on her face) Heh heh. Twice removed.

Chicha: Uh-huh.

Yzma: Isn't that right, Kronk?

(Kronk, Chaca, and Tipo are playing jump-rope.)

Chaca: Ninety nine monkeys jumpin' on the bed!

Kronk: One fell off and bumped his head!

Chicha: You know, I am so sorry that you had to come all this way, but as I said to you before, you may recall, Pacha is not here. I'll be sure and tell him you came by.

Yzma: Oh, would you, please? That would be just great. (Gestures too widely and her cup goes flying and hits the floor.) Oops. Silly me.

Chicha: (begins bending down to get it, since she's pregnant it takes a while) No, no. Allow me.

Yzma: (runs over to Kronk) She's hiding something. When I give the word, we search the house.

Kronk: Okay, but I still have ninety four monkeys to go.

Yzma: Grr! (runs back and sits down just as Chicha stands back up) So, while we're waiting for Paca -

Chicha: Pacha.

Yzma: Oh, yes. Perhaps we can have a tour of your lovely home.

Chicha: You know, why don't you just come back when Pacha gets home? I'm sure he'd love to show you the... (sees Pacha in the window) excuse me, won't you? I think I left something in the oven.

Kronk: This is my variation of double dutch. On the signal, we switch places.

(Yzma goes over to Kronk.)

Yzma: Kronk, it's time!

Kronk: Okay!

(They all switch and now Kronk is jumping rope with the kids and Yzma is turning the rope.)

Yzma: Ohh!

(In the kitchen, we see Pacha talking to Chicha)

Pacha: So, we have to get back to the palace, find the lab, and change him back.

Kuzco: Hi there! (Chicha hits him with a frying pan and he falls over.) Aah!

Pacha: That was him.

Chicha: Whoops.

(They talk some more, with Justin and his friends giving some details.)

Chicha: Go, I'll stall them long enough for you two to get a head start.

Pacha: Thanks, honey.

Kuzco (completely dazed): You have a lovely wife. They're both very pretty.

(Back in the living room, Yzma is checking a closet while Tipo is skipping rope while annoying her by saying great multiple times.)

Tipo: Great-great-great...

Yzma: Grr! All right! Are you through?

Tipo: ...great-great-aunt.

Chicha: (walks back in) So, where were we?

Yzma: Listen, sister, we're not leaving until -

Chicha: I show you the house. Of course.

(On the road, Justin and his friends are running full speed, with Pacha and Kuzco right behind them)

Kuzco: Was it a good idea to leave your family with those two?

Pacha: Oh, don't worry. They can handle themselves.

(Back at Pacha's house, Kronk and Yzma are locked in the closet)

Chicha: What do you mean the door is stuck? Try jiggling the handle.

Yzma: There is no handle in here.

Chichi (holding the handle): There's not? Are you sure? (The kids laugh)

Yzma: All right, I've had enough of this. Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground.

Kronk: Uh, don't you mean 'or'?

Yzma: (heavy sigh) Tell us where the talking llama is or we'll burn your house to the ground.

Chaca: Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.

Yzma: That's it! Kronk, break the door down!

Kronk: Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany.

Yzma: I don't care, you fool. Get out of my way. I'll break it down myself. A-one...

Chicha: Okay, kids, you know what to do.

Yzma: Two...

Kids: Right, Mom!

Yzma: Three! Aah!

(They open the door, and Yzma comes running out, she slides on a wet floor and goes flying out the front door into a wheel barrow which goes right down the hill. Tipo holds up a can of tar and Yzma goes flying through it. Further down the hill Chaca holds up a pillow. Yzma hits it and is now covered in feathers. The wheel barrow hits a rock and Yzma goes flying towards a tree where a piñata is hung up for the children to hit. She knocks it out of the way, and is now the piñata.)

Village Woman: Okay, children, on your mark, get set, go!

Yzma: Ow! Ow! Stop it, you little brats! Huh? (Sees Justin, his friends, as well as Kuzco and Pacha running) Ow! Oh, there they go, Kronk! They're getting away!

Kronk: Ha ha ha! Well, I had a great time. Let's not wait until the next family reunion to get together.

Yzma: Kronk!

Kronk: I, uh, I gotta run.

(Shot of both groups of them racing back to the palace. There are red dots for Kuzco, Pacha as well Justin and his group, and blue triangles for Yzma and Kronk. Yzma and Kronk look down and see the red dots, they look behind them and see the blue triangles, and then they look at each other and shrug. Justin's group has made it over a bridge and they cut the rope so that Yzma and Kronk can't follow. Yzma and Kronk don't even slow down. They put on goggles like pilots used to wear and Kronk pulls a rope and wings pop out. They get partially over the canyon when Aqua uses a Thunder spell to hit the flying machine and they go down. Justin and his gang continue on to the palace.)