Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: hey guys sorry for the long wait, but Leeds was calling. Anyway I'm back now so we can back to the boys, glad some of you liked Jacob's half naked line, I might sneak a few more lines like that so let's see who can spot them!

So back to the next instalment of My Dirty Little Secret, enjoy this chapter that I got out in a couple of hours (a personal best!) thank you to everyone for continuing to read this, I love you all! :D


Chapter 9 – Everyone has a secret, but can they keep it?

Jacob POV

A week later...

Hearing my cell phone ring I walked up to the coffee table in my living room where I had left it last, checking the screen before I answered the call I saw that it was Riley.

"Hi Riley, what's up?"

"Hey, nothing I just wanted to know if you wanted to meet up today for dinner?"

"I'd love to but I have an interview tomorrow morning so I need to get up early, maybe another time?" there was a short pause on the other end of the line as he considered my offer.

"Sure, I'll...er...talk to you later" he sounded disappointed and I felt a little bad bailing on him like this, but I put that thought on a back burner, as I sat down on the couch and glanced at the clock which read half past six. I guess you could say I was avoiding Riley, nevertheless I couldn't help it. Making up excuse not to see him or turning up late, I knew I was pushing him away but I knew he wasn't what I wanted and I think he knew too.

"Alright then see you later" hanging up the phone I threw it on the sofa leaning back as Edward walked out of my bathroom, his shirt carelessly thrown on with only a couple of button done up. His hair was wet and stuck up in random directions as he ran a hand through it, smiling at me and sitting next to me.

"Who was that?"

"No one important" I replied as I put an arm round his shoulder and pulled him closer to me.

In just two months he was meant to marry Bella. We never talked about what we were doing, we never considered what would happen when that day came. We just spent stolen moments together, when Leah or Bella had plans and wouldn't say anything about how much time we spent together.

So kissing him deeply I only felt a little bit guilty, but that was easily forgotten as his hands moved down my body taking off my t-shirt and kissing me back passionately. I told myself that this was just us giving into lust, it was just harmless fun if stayed between us...right?

~X~X~X~X~X~

"I'll see you tomorrow Jake" letting go off him he left my apartment going to his car so he could go and meet Bella to discuss the guest list. Feeling a twinge of disappointment as he turned away from me I ignored it and went to my computer, pulling my shirt back on.

Bringing up my emails I saw I had a new message from a company in New York I had applied to a few weeks ago, when I had become desperate. It had been a long shot as it was for a teaching spot and I wasn't really qualified for it, seeing as my previous job was selling rather than the mechanical aspect of cars I was certain it was a rejection.

But scanning through the message I saw that they had invited me for a recruitment evening exactly two weeks from today. Surprised and somewhat pleased with myself I replied back immediately, accepting and telling them that I would gladly attend.

Putting all my energy and concentration into my job search I went back into my bedroom, the scent of sweat and sex lingering in the air, and like a total girl I picked out what I was going to wear for my interview tomorrow. Twenty minutes had just passed before my phone rang again, snagging the phone off the sofa as it rang madly; I answered the call without looking at the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hi Jake, its Bella. Do you have a minute to talk?" she sounded upset and for a moment I panicked, wondering if she had found out. Choosing play the fool I went along with it as I knew nothing.

"Sure, what's wrong Bells?"

"Can I come round?" she skirted round the topic, hearing her sniff lightly I though she either had a cold or she had been crying. Neither of which could be good.

"Sure, where are you?"

"No, I'm leaving my office I can be there in ten minutes" there was beeping and cars in the background, so I assumed she was in her car.

"Okay, see you soon" putting on a cheery voice as I hung up, I sprang up from the couch hunting for any signs of the encounter I had had earlier with her fiancé, finding nothing but being able to smell the sweat and sex smell, I whipped out the air freshener. Putting my laptop away I walked into the kitchen a poured myself a large measure of whisky, drinking it in practically one go.

Barely ten minutes later and she was knocking on my door, answering the door with a friendly smile she walked in making herself at home on Leah's favourite armchair. Crouching next to the armchair as she kicked off her heels and crossed her legs, I looked at her waiting for her to speak.

"I think he's getting cold feet"

"Who is?" I asked stupidly, with it being perfectly clear who she was talking about.

"Edward" she sighed and crossed her arms over her chest before continuing. "He seems very...distant, I ask him anything about the wedding and he doesn't care" she shrugged her lips turning down in to a frown.

"I'm sure that's not the case, he loves you" she sniffed unhappily, her lips still tugged down into a frown as she shook her head.

"Oh, I don't know! We haven't...we er, we haven't had sex since the night he proposed to me. I think we've lost our spark, he won't come anywhere near me" she moaned throwing her hands over her face in humiliation.

"Maybe you need an evening just the two of you, with no interferences" I had no idea where all this was coming from, but I did not want to see her cry. Honestly she was so sweet seeing her cry was like kicking a puppy, sad and so pathetic you feel like crap afterwards. That twinge of guilt intensified seeing her so broken, if she ever knew...gosh it would destroy her.

"That's a good idea, but how do I do that?" she looked at me with her innocent doe like brown eyes and sighed looking back at the kitchen, wanting for another large drink...or the whole damn bottle.

"I'll help you think of something" I found myself saying, mentally bracing myself for how very complicated my life was getting.

~X~X~X~X~X~

"Thank you, I hope to hear from you soon" unlikely I thought as I walked out of the building they had taken one look at my resume, before making a judgement. When their first question was on why I was looking for a new job, I knew I was pretty much screwed.

Then it went from bad to worse when they looked up my references, let's just say my boss didn't exactly give me a glowing recommendation. Though if I am completely honest with myself, I wouldn't have given me such a great reference either. Anyway the point is that I probably won't be hearing from them anytime soon, glancing down at my watch I see that it is almost three in the afternoon. Attempting to forget about the train wreck of an interview I just walked out of I crossed the road and went to a local bar I hadn't been to before.

The bar was grimy and the patron where mainly drunks and trampy old men, taking a seat at the bar I pulled off my suit jacket along with my tie. Undoing the top button and rolling up my sleeves as the female bartender approached me, I sighed in defeat.

"What can I get 'cha darling?" she was pretty with long pale blond hair, blue eyes and a slim body. She wore three quarter sleeve slashed red and black top that showed off a toned abdomen and belly ring. With low rise skin tight jeans she was definitely not afraid to show off her body, she leaned on the bar with her chest and ass sticking out, in a pose that was meant to be sexy.

"Large whisky with ice" I said bluntly, taking out my mobile to check if I had any missed calls or texts, I had a text from Edward.

Hi Jake,

How did the interview go? You want to meet up later and tell me about it?

Let me know!

Edward

Typing a quick reply, I said that I'd meet him at his apartment in a couple of hours. I needed a little pick me up after my horrible interview and my friend Jack Daniels was going to help me with that.

"Here you go honey" spoke the blond in a flirty tone, I couldn't help but laugh a little as I realised what she was trying to do. Taking a sip of my drink she crossed her arms under her chest, to show off her...better assets. "What's so funny?" shaking my head and grinning I leaned my elbow on the edge of the bar, looking at her as she raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"You're pretty..."

"Moving a bit fast there, aren't you buddy?" smiling patiently I tried again.

"You're pretty, but your barking up the wrong tree" the sultry smile on her face, was replaced with a confused expression while she poured a beer for a regular sitting on my left.

"What?" was all she could think to say, passing the drink to the patron and taking a crumpled bill from him.

"You're not my type" I said trying to be subtle. Obviously she didn't get it as she leaned forward so she was standing closer to me, her breasts jutting out as she grinned at me in a way that was probably meant to be seductive.

"Why don't you let me change your mind" in a bold move she trailed a finger down my arm, raising an eyebrow.

"That is unlikely" taking her hand and moving it away from my arm I patted the back of her hand. "Because I'm gay" abandoning subtlety I drained the rest of my drink in one go, almost slamming the glass back down.

"Same again, please" with a huff she took the glass to get me a refill, a disappointed look on her face the whole time.

~X~X~X~X~X~

The next day I met Edward at the local park, where we ran on weekends, at six in the evening. Spotting him in a white shirt, jeans and a skinny black tie, he looked really good and I had to shake off the mental image of him naked on my bed as he turned round.

"Hey Edward!" I called out to him waving as he walked towards me.

"Hi, so what's was so important it couldn't wait?" he raised an eyebrow suggestively, his green eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Down boy" I replied forcing myself to laugh wholeheartedly as we walked to the pond at the other side of the park. Evening was amongst us and the sky was ablaze as the sun set and the park was filled with cute couples walking along, hands linked. "Walk with me" he looked a little confused but he shrugged and followed me anyway, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets. There was a silence between and although it wasn't that awkward I rushed to fill in the silence, to stop myself thinking about we had been doing for the past week.

"Hey, I got an interview for that school in New York that I told you about"

"The teaching post?" I nodded as we continued to walk. "That's great, I'm sure you'll be brilliant"

"Yeah, you're not the only one that can work with little brats" he raised an eyebrow.

"With that attitude, why the hell not?" he laughed and I mock frowned.

"Hey I'm good with kids!" I said with over the top indignation.

"Sure do you remember what happened when you looked after Rebecca's kid on Thanksgiving?"

"So she had a little adventure" he chuckled and shook his head.

"Jake you lost her in the mall, because you were chatting up the shop assistant" I shrugged casually.

"We found her eventually and I got his number. So all in not a totally wasted day" he rolled his eyes and shook his head again at my cavalier attitude, but he didn't argue with my somewhat twisted logic.

"Well, I hope you get the job. It would be something different a challenge. But I'm certain you'll do great" his tone was sincere and I turned my head to look at him, he looked at me and our eyes locked for a moment. Smiling at me his face lit up with that sexy crooked grin and I couldn't help but smile back and stand just a little closer to him. "Jake, you know I th-"

The rest of his sentence was cut off when we reached the pond a secluded part of the park, he saw the lit candles and he looked puzzled, looking back at me I shook my head tilting it to his right. Bella walked up to us a smile on her face as she hugged Edward and turned to face me, a grateful look on her face.

"Thanks for getting him here Jake" he smiled at her as she leaned away to look at the surprised look on his face.

"Have fun you guys" Edward looked at me with an unfathomable expression, which made it very hard to turn away from him. Forcing myself to smile I waved and walked away, still feeling his gaze on me as I left them alone. The last thing I saw was Bella pulling him in for a kiss as I followed the path back to my car, feeling somewhat frustrated.

~X~X~X~X~X~

Sitting in front of the TV in sweats and an old t-shirt a few hours later, Leah walked out of her bedroom. Standing in front of me blocking my view of Lea Michelle singing 'Firework', I let out an indignant sound.

"Hey!" ignoring my comment she twirled round in her new dress, it was a dark purple body con dress with zip detail on the front.

"How do I look?"

"You look sexy, gorgeous, amazing...now get out of my way" rolling her eyes in an indulgent way, but moving out of the way to check her hair ion the mirror by the door. Grabbing her coat she slipped it on, glancing over at the clock and putting on her shoes.

"Okay, I'm going now and I might spend the night round Jared's"

"Ooh, someone's getting serious" I teased raising my eyebrows and sitting up properly.

"Shut up" she said without her usual sarcasm as her lips stretched into a smile. "I'll see you later, Jake"

"Bye, Leah. Have fun between the sheets" she swatted me on the back of my head with her handbag and I swear she blushed, actually blushed! This was the same girl who caught me watching gay porn and just viewed it with me, commenting crudely about it the entire time.

"See ya" she said over her shoulder as she left, leaving me to watch the rest of Glee. When it was finished I hummed to myself as I poured myself a large shot of vodka, downing it in one go and pouring myself another sighing as I felt the familiar burn in the back of my throat. Taking the bottle and a glass back into the living room I was about to sit down and watch a movie, when a heard a knock on my door.

Putting the bottle and the half empty glass down on the coffee table, I went to the door thinking that Leah had probably changed her mind and was coming back for some takeout and a glass of wine that I had ordered. However the person behind the door was not Leah but Edward.

"Hey, I thought you would be with Bella" taking a step I let him walk in, unconcerned about the way I was dressed. Going to the kitchen he remained by the door, oddly silent as he gave me the same look he gave as I had left him at the park. "Do you want a drink while you're here?" I said getting out another glass and going back into the living room, walking past him and picking up the bottle of vodka.

"What are we doing Jacob?" were his first words as he lifted his head and looked at me.

"I guess we're having a drink together" I tried to keep my tone light but he looked deadly serious, putting down the glass I poured him a drink and held it out for him. He took it taking a deep pull and sighing before walking round to the armchair and sitting down.

"What happened today with Bella?"

"She was worried that you were having second thoughts, so I helped her plan a romantic rendezvous in the park" sitting down on the couch and turning my body so that I was facing him I raised an eyebrow thinking about how odd he was acting. He nodded and took another sip, slowly this time crossing his legs the way guys do with his right ankle resting on his left knee.

"Right, so she has no idea what has been...going on between us?"

"Is that what this is about? You're scared I might scare off your fiancé? Don't answer that, I already know the answer" for some reason I was suddenly very pissed off at him, taking another gulp of vodka I slammed the glass down on the table. Seeing him flinch I continued talking, as he sat up trying to keep his composure and that stick up his ass.

"Don't worry Edward, Bella won't hear anything from me. Just out of curiosity what has been going between us?" he looked very uncomfortable as he swallowed round a lump in his throat.

"Well...we've been...er...fooling around, it's just a bit of fun right?"

"Right" I sat up and refilled my glass, feeling like I needed it right now.

"What else is there? I am engaged Jake, you know that" nodding I stood up and paced round the coffee table closing my eyes before I spoke again.

"Then why are you here? You should be with her, she put a lot of effort into this evening and you shouldn't let it go to waste" I stopped pacing and looked over at him, waiting for his response. He uncrossed his legs and put down his drink leaning forward and looking off.

"I don't know. I'm really confused Jake and I don't know what to do" he looked up and I

"Just go with what feels right" my anger dissipating as I saw how utterly lost he was, I approached him and held his face in my hands.

"Sounds easier than it is"

"It's as easy as you want it to be...tell me, honestly, does this feel right to you?" I pulled him closer to me, like I had done many times before. But this time my heart started beating faster, I could feel it pounding in my ears as his lips brushed against mine.

"Yeah it does" then his lips were on mine, his hands down my back pulling me closer to him. We were so caught up in each other that we almost didn't hear the key turning in the lock, pulling away from him I sprang up and moved away as he cleared his throat. So when Leah walked in her eyes red and slightly puffy, I was sitting as far away from Edward as possible, trying to look nonchalant.

"I thought you were round Jared's" she bit her lip and looked like she was about to cry, which was odd as the last time I saw her crying was when she found out Sam and her cousin Emily were getting married.

"Yeah, well plan's change. People move on..." she took off her jacket nearly chucking it at the back of the sofa. "...meet new people, get married..." she chucked her shoes across the floor as she sat next to me. "...have kids, while others..." her voice rose hysterically and wrapped her arms round herself, Edward stood up and motioned to the door. "...others have to start all over again"

When Edward left she gave into the tears that she must have holding in for a while. As she sobbed helplessly I pulled her so her head was leaning on my chest as she cried with abandon.

"What happened Leah?"

"Their having...a-a baby. I saw Sam and Emily and their having a...b-baby" her body heaved with her sobs and I stroked her hair and let her get it all out, playing the role of the good friend. When all the while I was secret very relieved that she was unaware about what she almost walked in on.

"It's okay" I crooned trying to sooth her and stop her tears.

"No, no it's not. Even now, I still...I still love him"

"Well then...it will be okay. I'm here for you"

"Thank you Jake, you're a good friend" no, I'm really not was the first thought in my head.


A/N: hope you liked this much longer chapter, no lemon as this was more about their conflict, rather Edward's inner conflict along with the other aspects of Jacob's life that seem to be taking a back seat. The next chapter will be Edward's POV as I think we need his opinion on this.

Until next time, thanks for reading and please leave a review/comment!