I`m overwhelmed by all the reviews for the last chapter, you guys really are the best!
This chapter is a little shorter then usual, and I struggled a bit with it, but in the end I ended up being satisfied.
Sam jogged into the hospital, with Natalie right behind, he didn't have the time to drive her home, to be honest he didn't even realize she was there, he had only one thing on his mind and that was Andy.
He stopped his pace when he entered the waiting room, meeting the eyes of Frank and Oliver, trying to read the emotions in them.
Even if Frank probably already told him on the phone how she was he couldn't remember anything after `McNally was shot`, he couldn't even remember the drive from St. Catherines.
Oliver`s eyes where the one who bothered him the most, gently he pushed himself of the chair and walked towards him and stopped when he was standing in front of him.
"She`s ok, she took two bullets to the vest." Sam`s hands fell to his knees, finally he could breathe again, he felt a hand rubbing his back but didn't acknowledge who it belonged to.
"Why was she on duty? She has the day off." It suddenly occurred to him, he straightened his spine and looked into Frank`s eyes who had come to stand next to Oliver.
"She picked up an extra shift." It was Frank who answered his question, Oliver looked down at the floor, preparing himself for what he knew the next question would be.
"Who was her partner?" Sam shifted his eyes between impatiently the two in front of him.
"I was, Sammy I`m-" Sam fisted his hands in his collar.
"You`re supposed to have her back!" He spat the words out to Oliver, who knew better then to fire back, he was fine with being his friends punching bag through something he knew was a rough time.
"Swarek!" Frank pulled him away from Oliver and backed him up to the wall behind him, Sam was breathing heavily under Franks arm. He met his eyes and Franks eyes softened as he saw Sam calming down.
"She`s fine, she`s bruised up, but she`s fine, Sam. She`s in the examining room waiting to be cleared." Frank released his grip on him and took a step back.
"Did you get the shooter?" Frank nodded to him. "Jerry`s working him at the station now, but it looks like she was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. We believe it wasn't meant for her, looks like its gang related."
Sam nodded as he took in the information, but he was getting anxious to see her. "Can I see her?"
"Yeah, go ahead, she`s in the first room to your right down the ha-"
He didn't wait to let Frank finish his sentence, he walked hurriedly down the hall, but stopped outside the room.
Sam sucked in a breath before he entered the room, his heart still wasn't beating steady under his chest, he had to see her breathing and alive before he could relax.
He stopped in the door, panting and furrowed brows, when he saw her on the examination bed, the first thing he noticed was that her chest was rising up and then down again, slow but steady. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Traci stand up from the chair she was occupying and walking towards him.
"I`ll give you a moment." She gave Sam`s arm a light squeeze when she brushed pass him to leave the room. Andy looked over at him, he was the least person she wanted there, but also the person she wanted the most to be there.
She gave him a deplorable look as she tried to push herself up, but gave up when the pain was too much, Sam winced by the grimace she was making.
When Traci walked out of the room and was walking towards the waiting room she literally walked right into Natalie.
"Look, maybe you should give them a sec." Natalie didn't obey and pushed herself through Traci`s block.
"How are you feeling?" Cautiously he walked closer to the bed, but stopped with a few steps left to be up by the bed.
"Like I took two bullets in the vest, I guess." A grimace spread across her face when she tried to laugh the words out, he took another step closer but stopped when her face fell blank.
Her eyes became empty when she saw Natalie standing in the door, watching them, Sam followed her gaze and stared right into Natalie's eyes.
"Look, I`m really tired, and the doctor is right around the corner, so I would really appreciate it if you just left." Truth was that she was tired, but she wasn't going to able to sleep at all because of the pain, she just wanted the two of them out of her room, and took any excuse to get her wish fulfilled. Sam furrowed his brows down, opened his mouth to say something, but she caught him to it.
"Please."
Sam nodded with a clenched jaw, looked down at the floor when he turned to walk him and Natalie out of the room.
In the waiting room Frank was signing some papers and Traci stood next Oliver, with a comforting hand on his shoulder, the hand slid down his arm when she saw them coming out of the room.
She walked up to meet halfway in the room, again she put a hand on his and squeezed it.
"Don't worry, I`ll take her home as soon as she`s released." The only response he gave her was an unaffectionate nod. "Get home and get some sleep." She brushed past him again while she said it and disappeared into the room he had just been in.
Natalie took his hand in hers and led him out of the hospital, not once did Sam meet Oliver's eyes on his way out.
An hour later he laid, confused by himself, in Natalie's bed feeling a thousand feelings pass by him, and he found it exhausting. Pain, anger, hurt, afraid, broken and incomplete was among some of them.
He felt selfish and guilty for letting Natalie remove the feelings for a while, but now that she was sound asleep next to him they all came creeping back to him.
After tossing and turning for a while he slung his feet out of bed and got dressed, carefully not to wake Natalie, and slipped out of her apartment.
When he parked his truck outside of his house, he quickly locked himself in, but only to change into a pair of sweats and a hoodie, the he locked up the house and started running down the streets, in the middle of the night.
He justified it with an urge to keep his mind occupied, disregarding the knowledge of that the feelings would come back sooner or later.
Sam was standing in the middle of the bull pen when Andy walked in, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, tired eyes and a slight grimace on her face for each step she took. He cursed under his breath at her for not being at home to relax, but at the same time he felt relieved to see her.
He walked towards her, she avoided his eyes, and when she was about to brush past him he gently grabbed her arm and led her into a viewing room. He closed the door behind them and gently pushed her back up to the wall next to the door, she tilted her chin up and closed her eyes.
She opened her eyes when she felt his hands frame her face, she met the worried brown eyes and heard the heavy breathing from him.
"I`m fine, really." His fingers kept brushing over her face, threading them through her hair and then back to touch her face again.
Then one hand slid down to the zipper of her hoodie, and started to unzip it. "Sam." She said in a warning voice, she knew the sight that would meet him would break him. But he ignored her warning and zipped it all the way down.
Since she only had a white sports bra on, because the agonizing pain it took to put it on she didn't find the strength or energy to put a shirt on, the bruises covering her abdomen where the first thing he saw.
She saw him wince and let out a gasp, and then he did something completely unexpected.
"What are you-"He fell down to he`s knees so his face where at the eyelevel with her stomach, the question she was asking stopped before she could finish.
He traced his fingertips over her bruises and leaned in to place feather light kisses on her bruises.
"I was so scared….and it hurts so bad." She let out between sobs, Sam stood up in front of her and framed her face again, using his thumb to wipe away the tears that fell down her cheek.
"I could have lost you." He leaned his forehead on hers, pressing his eyes closed and breathing heavily.
"I know." He brushed his nose with hers when she responded.
"I thought I did." She heard the weakness in his voice and realized what he needed was reassurance that she was ok.
"But you didn't, Sam…..I`m here." He covered her heart with his palm, feeling it beating steady under it.
Andy`s fingers found her zipper and zipped up her hoodie, Sam`s forehead was still leaning on hers, and his eyes where still closed and his palm where still covering her heart. She placed her own hand over his.
"I`m right here, Sam." She saw him nod slowly, but his eyes stayed closed.
"I have to go, Best is expecting me." She slid her body alongside the wall, away from him, Sam turned to lean his back to the wall where her back had leaned, pressing his eyes closed.
He swallowed heavily when he heard the door open and shut close again. He stayed standing like that until Jerry suddenly walked in.
"Oh hey bud, what are you doing in here?" Sam opened his eyes and pushed himself of the wall, and started to walk towards the door without saying a word.
He realized he must have really taken his time when he saw Oliver walk Andy out of Best`s office and down the hall.
"You did good, McNally." Oliver said as he led her down the hall and out through the sally port.
"Uh, thanks." She wanted to smile to him, but she was so emotionally and physically drained, in an awkward motion she climbed in the cruiser while Oliver held the door for her, when she was in he shut the door and took his place in the driver's seat.
"I`m sorry about Sam, yesterday." She said while she looked over to him, he removed his eyes from the road and looked puzzled at her, and then put his eyes on the road again. "Traci told me." She explained and heard a `ah` from him.
"No worries, McNally, I`m not holding a grudge. Besides, I get it, you scared him you know, scared the shit of me too." She nodded and gave him half a smile and apologizing with her eyes. "In fear of hurting your feelings, I`m glad you're not my partner when you come back, because you seriously have the worst luck." He said in a teasing tone and earned himself a giggle of agreement from her.
"No hard feelings, Shaw."
He parked the cruiser outside of her apartment and watched her climb awkwardly out of the cruiser with a grimace on her face. "Hey Andy, take some Advil's and put some ice on it, it will ease the pain." She raised one eyebrow. "Talking out of experience?" He nodded to her. "Oh, and by the way, we`re even now." She chuckled loudly at that, but flashed him a toothy grin and shut the door.
He walked up the stairs to Best`s office and knocked on the door, saw Frank wave him in, and walked in and took a seat across from him.
"I want to put in a request for a partner switch, I want McNally back."
He watched as a grin spread across Frank`s face. "Already taken care of, Swarek." Frank saw Sam let out a relieved breath and a nod as a thank you. He got to his feet and started to walk out of the office.
"Hey Sammy." Sam whipped his head around. "Yeah?" He turned his whole body and walked backwards and stopped when he stood in the doorframe. "Cut Ollie some slack." Sam nodded again, he had already planned on making up for losing his shit on him.
Half an hour after shift was finished he pushed the doors to the Penny open, eyes immediately landing on Oliver at their table, Sam made his way to the bar and ordered to glass of scotch, and walked over to Oliver and placed a glass in front of him.
His green eyes met his, and when he saw the smile in them he breathed out a relieved breath for what felt like the 100th time the past 24 hours.
He sat down next to him and rested his elbows on the round table, he inspected the liquid in his glass before he looked up at Oliver.
"Look, I-" He grinned an empty grin, struggling for the right words. Oliver stared amused at him. "I`m an ass." Oliver chuckled and clinked his glass with his. "No sweat, we`re good." Sam`s shoulders fell down in a relaxing position, and he pulled his dimples out to his friend.
"And I`m drinking on you tonight." Sam laughed but nodded to him at that.
Later that night Sam lay awake in his bed, he was tired but still wasn't able to sleep, but at least he felt one burden lighter. Surely but slowly he was in the step of the right direction to fix the mess he had made.
So?
My ego won`t be bruised by honest opinions, and it won`t hurt my feelings if you point out where my english failes :)
But please let me know what you think :)
