Chapter 8:

The sounds of the city and of the cement pouring in from above were starting to fade now. I knew the cement would be harden quickly.

"Why didn't they just shoot us in the road?" I moaned. "It's worse...sitting here and waiting to die!"

"It could be worse," Ryou said optimistically. "We could be stuck alone."

I rolled my eyes in the dark chamber. "Thanks for that."

"I think, though, that they wanted us to disappear quietly, you know," he postulated calmly. "Shooting would have attracted too much attention, attention from Scotland Yard or something. They don't want their trail to be noted. Remember how they 'took care' of Tsukimori."

"Would you please not refer to this so logically, like it's someone else's problem?" I petitioned. "We could be dead in a few hours, you know that?"

"Gomen," he answered quietly. "I just want our last few hours to be as happy as possible, Kaho."

Something about the humility in his voice gave me a sudden sense of peace. "You're right. At least we have each other." I don't think I'd rather spend the end of my life with anyone else, honestly.

I leaned against his chest, where we sat, there on the floor of our metal tomb, and closed my eyes to listen to his heart. He slipped his arms around my shoulders and held me tight.

"I'm scared to die," I whispered.

"Me too."

"What's it going to feel like?"

"I don't know. Maybe it'll be easier than we think. Just slip off into nothingness, you know. I hope."

"Ryou?"

"Mm?"

"Do you believe in God?"

"Some sort of god, yes."

"Why?"

"It's easier to hope."

"You don't have any reason for it?"

"It's not like there's any empirical evidence either way. May as well believe what makes me happy."

"Ah...

"...Ryou?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you believe in an afterlife?"

"Dunno. It would be kind of sad, though, to only have twenty years and then, nothing. You know? There was a lot more I wanted to do."

"Yeah, me too."

"But if there is an afterlife, it means I'll be fighting with Tsukimori over you again." He laughed softly. "I think I'd prefer this life where that's concerned."

I permitted a little smile. "What sorts of things did you want to do?" I asked.

"Mm...music is an obvious. I wanted to play Ravel's 'Gaspard de la Nuit' someday, but I never got around to it. It's a devilishly hard piece."

"I wanted to play with an orchestra someday," I sighed. Like Len.

"Me, too. I wanted to do Liszt's second piano concerto."

"Hum it for me, please."

"Sure."

I felt the vibrations of his voice through his chest as he began to hum a slow, somewhat melancholy piece. The sound echoed narrowly in the muted darkness.

"It's nice. What else did you want to do?"

"What do you think?" he teased lightly, planting a kiss on top of my hair. "Marry you, of course. Have kids. Play soccer with them; teach them how to enjoy music. Buy a house in the countryside, so we could take walks in the evening and listen to the cicadas. Go on family trips together."

"Where to?"

"Mm...Hokkaido."

"I'd prefer Okinawa."

"Ah, the things we could have fought over."

"Oi, that's not a good thing."

"Yeah, it is. Talking with you, fighting with you, touching you, being near you...it's all good. I wanted your everything...always."

I shivered slightly at the low, possessive tone of his voice.

"It does kind of make you think, you know, 'What am I and what have I accomplished?'" he continued. "Think about it again, I mean. It's like déjavu. When Tsukimori died, it was like, 'Was it really worth it for him to give all his time in to music?'. Now I'm asking myself the same question."

"Really?" An uneasy misgiving was stirring inside me. "I feel like, 'Why didn't I spend more time working on music?' Why didn't I work harder back then? How was I content to choose entertainment over practice?" I regret it now...really.

He nudged my gently. "You sound like Tsukimori. He influenced you a lot, didn't he."

"In a good way." I sighed and felt the violin case on the floor next to me. "I want to play again, once more."

"That's not fair. I don't have a keyboard, how come you get the fun?"

I elbowed him slightly. "Lend me the light of your cell for a couple of minutes, okay?"

"Only if you play that piece that I never got to hear you finish, the one you played for the third selection."

"The Tchaikovsky?"

"Yeah. That one."

"Sure."

By the faint green flow of Ryou's cell, I carefully opened the case and rosined the bow quickly, tuning the strings to perfect 5ths, even though I couldn't tell if the notes were right. Then the Guarneri sang, maybe for the last time.

For some reason, it had never sounded so pure. In the deadness of our enclosed space, sound was crystallized, complete and clear, notes like drops of dew on a morning fern. I found my fingers responding with exact pitches.

When I'd finished, Ryou applauded for me quietly.

"You sound good on that violin."

"Mm." I reflected as I replaced it, tying the black ribbon around the neck carefully. "It's a Guarneri, after all. But..."

"...But?"

I sighed and snapped the clasps shut for the final time. "But it's not my violin. Not my Mahou." Misa had told me they had smashed Mahou. It was like my vocal chords had been cut. Trying to replace them would never be the same.

I sat back down next to Ryou and tried not to cry. He pulled me closer and stroked my hair comfortingly.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you spent your time learning violin."

"Thanks. What I wouldn't give to hear you play piano again."

"How's this?" He handed me the cell and crooned a gentle melody while his fingers danced, spiderlike, in midair.

I smiled softly. "Lovely."

"What a lot we are."

"And now we're left here to die, like two rats trapped in a sewer..."

"Yeah..." He sighed deeply and pulled me into his lap completely.

The silence wrapped the two of us in its chilling embrace, as I relished the feel of his arms around me and put my own around his neck. He was so warm...would this be the last feeling I had? Ryou's warmth...

.

It seemed the two of us sat like that for ages, waiting and cherishing the physical sensation.

Ryou, there's something I need to give you in these last minutes. To make up for everything I've made you go through.

I've been holding out, lingering, playing it safe, unwilling to move forward. And for what? Now all that could have been will vanish, all for the sake of my pride. If only I'd allowed myself to heal sooner, if only I hadn't taken advantage of his patience!

Yet, if this is all I can do in return, so be it.

I felt him gasp as I ran my hands along the sides of his face. The feeling of scratchiness along his jaw, that had first awakened my realization of his manliness.

I felt suddenly very free of the weight which had been caging my heart for the last six months.

I guided his face towards mine and let go of my inhibitions completely.

"Sewer..." Ryou's voice, jerking back suddenly, took on a thoughtful tone, there in the pitch darkness. "Kaho, hold up a bit.."

"Eh?" Reluctantly, I scooted off his lap, and he bent down with his ear to the floor of the container.

"Yes," he said, finally. "Kaho, we might be able to get out of here!"

"What? How...?" I asked, bewildered.

"Hang on a sec...There." He switched on his cell phone, and let its tiny glow light up the floor. "Remember how the unit is raised on cinder blocks? If the cinder blocks had gaps in them, the cement would have flowed between and blocked off the unit underneath. But they were solid all around. In other words, there is a gap between the floor of this unit and the floor of what used to be underneath."

"And you can hear water running...we're above a manhole!" I exclaimed in a rush.

"Yes." His face, lit greenly, showed determination. "This won't be fun, though."

I thought of dying in the dark, watching the little cell light lose battery die and flicker out, and shivered.

"Thanks, I'll take the risk."

"Good. Okay. I'm going to try to find a way to loosen these screws. Where's that tool box?...Alright. We haven't got much time, so can you help me? We're going to get this panel here. The others look rusted over."

I took the screwdriver he gave me and felt around in the dark for the screws, while he handled the larger bolts with a wrench.

Within fifteen minutes, we had lifted a narrow panel of metal, and he shone the cell light down into the gap.

"I'll go first," I said, lowering myself down. "Oof...it's pretty narrow." Working my way down, I managed to scoot down enough that I could barely crawl on my belly.

"Can you find the manhole?" Ryou's voice came anxiously from above.

"Yeah, I can hear water running a few feet up." So saying, I crawled forward, finding the heavy metal lid with my hands at last.

"Is it unlocked? Can you lift it?"

"Maybe, if you hand me the wrench as a lever. Are you sure we can't lift a panel closer to the manhole?"

"Positive," his voice came to me grimly. "I tried investigating the other panels. It was hard enough opening this one, and the bolts were all new."

I sighed as I managed to use the wrench to slide the cover off a foot or so, thanking the forgetfulness of the last utility man. "I should have had you do this," I grumbled belatedly. "Gosh, it's claustrophobic down here," feeling the floor of the unit pressing into my back and the concrete of the floor below. "You coming?"

Silence from above.

"...Ryou? What's wrong? Hey, you'd better get down here, too."

"I'm not coming, Kaho."

"...What?"

His voice trembled as he said, "It's not a big enough space for me. I'm so sorry...I need you to get help."

As the shock began to wear off, I managed to say, "Ryou, I can't leave you behind!"

"You have to." He lowered his head down with the cell phone extended in one hand, so that I could see that there was, in fact, no room for him down here.

"I'll stay with you," I said rebelliously, trying to back up. It proved more difficult than moving forward toward the manhole.

"Don't be ridiculous..."

"I'm not leaving you to die here alone!" I cried out, feeling tears start to well up. "I'm not losing you too, Tsuchiura Ryoutaro!"

"Kaho. Listen to me. When we came down here, there was a cross road immediately before the alleyway, remember? The name of the roads at the intersection were 'Cavendish' and '16th'. Remember that. They name roads, not blocks. Do you know how to say 'police man'?"

"Yes," I said in relief, remembering an old English lesson. "And they wear funny hats."

"Right. Good girl. Now, you'll need to follow the sewer until you find the next ladder up. It might be on a different level than this one, but hopefully it won't be too far off. If you find yourself somewhere you don't know where you are, stay calm, okay? Look for a coffee shop or a convenience store, and say you need a police man. Don't panic. Just keep asking until someone helps you. Once you've found a police man, have him take you to a police station, and ask for someone who speaks Japanese. They'll figure it out. Then come back to Cavendish and 16th, and they'll do the rest."

My head was spinning as his directions came rapid-fire. "Ryou...I don't think I can do this on my own."

"You can. I need you to, Kaho. Remember. Cavendish and 16th." He reached out the cell phone to me, and I took it carefully, seeing the gaping hole in front of me. "You ready?"

I held up the cell phone enough to see his face, at once concerned but brave. "Ryou," I said, taking a deep breath, "I love..."

"Don't say it," he interrupted quickly. "Tell me when you get back. I'm counting on you." He gave me his best attempt at a smile.

"I'll be back," I said determinedly, stretching out my hand to grasp the fingertips of his. "I promise."

"I'll be waiting," he told me, and with that I crawled into the opening of the manhole.

.

The tiny light of the cell glittered on the walls of the cavernous sewer, glistening on the dark stream of water that ran through the middle. As I jumped down from the ladder, the stench of sewage seemed to punch me in the stomach, so that even though I covered my nose and mouth with my hands, my eyes burned and streamed unstoppably.

My feet refused to move forward for a minute; I turned against the slimy plaster of the walls helplessly. My lungs pleaded for air; my senses revolted at the smell. I could barely see five feet in front of me, and even that was clouded by putrid mist.

How can I possibly do this alone?

But somehow, I have to! Ryou is waiting for me!

How?

My eyes were already stinging, but I'm sure tears of shame, helplessness, and despair were joining the liquid on my cheeks.

Which way do I go? Will I end up in the middle of a street? How will I find my way back?

I wanted to scream in frustration, but the stench of the air prevented me.

Forward. I need to go forward.

I pointed my shoes to the left and started to walk, though my knees were trembling so much I was afraid I would collapse onto the ground. I steadied myself against the wall, ignoring the feeling of slimy moss and algae, and tried to clear my head.

There's a Western saying that has something to do with the "light at the end of a tunnel". Where was my light? Did it exist, even?

After what seemed an indeterminable amount of time, the little light finally shone off the dull metal of another ladder, leading upward into a narrow tunnel, which in turn would lead to a manhole. Taking a deep breath, I stuffed Ryou's cellphone down the front of my shirt and climbed up. Steadying myself, I locked my feet around the rungs of the ladder, and pushed up on the heavy metal cover with all my might.

Nothing. Not even a budge.

Biting back frustration, I took as deep a breath as I was able to, and tried again.

Still nothing. I tried to turn it. Nada. Even the other manhole cover had been easier to move.

A wretched sob thrust its way up through my throat.

I can't even do this much? So I'm really useless, am I? Can't even do the bare minimum to save Ryou!

To make matters worse, the slickness of the ladder had its way with my shoes.

"Augh!" My scream reverberated barrenly down the pitch-black corridors of my labyrinth, and a second later excruciating pain jolted through my left arm as I connected with the floor.

Dazed and feeling utterly broken (and hoping I wasn't actually broken), I stared up into the darkness blankly.

Somehow, the pain brought me to my senses.

The manhole cover was locked, Kahoko. That's why it didn't move.

So what do I do now? I asked "sensible Kahoko" sardonically.

Find another one, of course.

What if that's locked, too?

Keep trying. There'll be one somewhere.

I'm getting farther away from Ryou.

Remember what he told you.

"Cavendish and 16th," I whispered emptily. I'll find my way back somehow.

I need to get up and keep going. There's nothing else to do. Certainly I can't lie here and feel sorry for myself. What will that accomplish?

I tried curling the fingers on my left hand and was relieved to find them responding. My wrist ached horribly, but it was probably just a sprain.

Geez. Len would kill me if he knew I hurt myself. Again.

I smiled in spite of myself as I pulled out Ryou's cellphone and bid its tiny light to show me the way.

Three manholes down, I finally found one that was unlocked. Bracing myself VERY carefully, I heaved it up and slid it open.

The high noon sunlight hit my eyes as mercilessly as the pitch black had earlier. Somehow I willed myself out, oblivious to the scream of a woman as I emerged, finding myself in the middle of a busy sidewalk.

Several people spoke to me in harsh tones, gesturing to the manhole, probably telling me it was dangerous to leave it open, and what the heck had I been doing down there in the first place. I scooted it back with some effort, and stood there dazed, trying to get my bearings in vain, suddenly realizing what it felt like to be alone in a foreign country.

What did the signs around me say? Could I find anyone to understand me?

I knew I should have paid better attention in English class!

Steady, girl. Stay calm. Take a deep breath (finally).

Now open your eyes. Move forward.

Remember who's counting on you.

Author's Notes:

Kahoko is always the "damsel in distress", so I decided to shove her into a situation in which she had to rely on only herself. It's good for her ^^

Out of curiosity, I went back and added up the number of hits on "The Silence Between the Notes" since I first published it last February. The number came out to over 20,000. Wah! (does little happy bunny dance). But this story isn't as successful so far. Oh, well. I'll complete it anyway.