Disclaimer: I do not own Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun.
10
It's a stupid thing that Sasayan knows it more than Natsume, when she's the one who feels it.
Maybe she's just confused about it. Maybe she doesn't want to believe it. Maybe she feels she's wrong, either way she couldn't realize it herself. For Natsume, falling in love to anyone wasn't part of her to-experience list.
She had watched a lot of boys' hearts break because of her ignorance to this little "love" they so eagerly confess to her. Because of that, she may have wandered away from it. Well, that's because, she never really felt it before. That's why when the fine arrows of cupid finally hit her, she can't even differentiate them from what's real and what's not.
Sheesh. Why did he have to make her realize it, anyway?
She enters the batting center, her feet a little too slow. Or perhaps she just doesn't want to see Micchan. Starting from that day when she felt some sort of romantic feeling for him, she kinds of gets every opportunity of trying to avoid him.
But stupid Sasayan is such a kid that hangs out in Micchan's place like every chance he gets. Well, he and his pals. Mitty or Haru wasn't with her as she came in, that's why the manager was a bit surprised when he saw her. "Oh, Natsume-chan? What brings you here today?"
She immediately feels her face go red. She looks away from him, partly covering her face with the paper bag she was holding. The paper bag she would give to Sasayan.
"Sa-sasayan-kun." She timidly says.
The manager leads her to the batting cages, and she feels the need to get out as she saw the number of boys hanging out in that single room. She didn't like the feeling of being the only girl in one place. She didn't like the way the boys look at her. What's with them, anyway? Haven't they seen a girl before?
Sasayan smiles as soon as he saw her. "Sorry for making you come out here."
"No, it's okay." Natsume replies. "I should've returned this sooner."
I can be normal around Sasayan-kun. She thinks to himself. And that was indeed true. Sasayan was one of those people who she can act normally with. She can be herself, and she never have to be embarrassed. She can even argue the most with him. Besides, he already saw how she would act if there are other boys around, or even other girls from her past.
She hears a lot of talking from Sasayan's back. She wonders what it was all about, and she almost wants to leave. She saw one of Sasayan's friends being pushed towards where they were standing. He almost falls down on his face, but he wouldn't embarrass herself in front of a girl he likes.
"Natsume-san." He talks as if he knows her well. Well, he doesn't. Because if he did, he wouldn't do something as to confess to her about how he feels.
"He wants to talk to you." Another guy from the back calls, then a chorus of laughter. She hated it, that annoying sound they were making. What's so funny about it, anyway? Was is really that fun to have someone stutter before her?
"Idiot!" The boy turns to his friends, then she went back to Natsume. "Sorry about that, Natsume-san." He says shyly.
"Do you need something?" Natsume spoke in a voice obviously different from the one she uses to talk to Sasayan, or Haru. Everybody in the room can feel the coldness it delivered.
The guy was too stunned to speak. Maybe even a bit frightened. But the boys at the back continued to laugh. As is they were watching a comedy show in which she was a part of, an actress in their little play.
Well, she doesn't like it. She doesn't like their "play" and how they play along with it.
"If you don't need anything, I'm leaving." She turns around and leaves everyone in the room quiet.
But Sasayan follows her. Before she can leave the building, as she went down the staircase feeling some sort of annoyance inside, she heard her name being called. "Sorry, they didn't mean any harm." He starts to talk. "They apologized, too. So can't you forgive them?"
"I hate it when that happens." Sasayan can't see her face, since she didn't turn around when he came. "This is why I hate boys. All they care about is their own fun. Doesn't matter to them if I end up shunned by the other girls."
"What?" Sasayan says. He knows Natsume doesn't like it when it comes to that, but it wasn't entirely his friends' fault too. When she gets shunned, that has nothing to do with the boys anymore. "Isn't it your own fault for letting it get to that point?" He says frankly.
"See?" She says. She finally turns around and show her face to Sasayan. "You're just like the rest of them. You underestimate female friendship." She then starts to talk about how wonderful friendship between girls are and Sasayan wonders how she got to that point.
"What's wrong with that Shimoyanagi-kun?" She continues after she gave that speech of female camaraderie. "He kept smiling like a fool. How stupid is he?"
"Yana didn't do anything wrong." Sasayan says.
It hit her.
God, how she hates how Sasayan is always right and she's wrong when it comes to their arguments. She hates how she always loses, and it seems like everything else in the entire world is on his side.
"You're right." She admits. She loosened her grip on the umbrella she was holding. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I was just a little irritated. Mitty's busy with her class, and Haru-kun's been in a bad mood. Plus, I'm having trouble talking to Micchan-san…"
"Huh?" Sasayan says. "Isn't that because you're in love with him?"
For a moment she just stares at him as if he didn't say anything wrong. But then his words hit her hard. She dwells on the thought if what Sasayan said was really true. Perhaps it was, and her face started to go really red as she thought of the probability. Her mouth saying "What-" in loops.
"What are you talking about, Sasayan-kun?!" She almost screams. "That's not possible."
"You're not? But if you can't even speak normally around him…"
"You've got it all wrong!"
"Well, I've never been in love, so I wouldn't know..." He tells her.
"I'm never going to fall in love with a man." She continues to debate.
"Why not?" Sasayan says. "I don't see a problem. It's perfectly natural."
"You're wrong! You're wrong!" She argues. "You're absolutely wrong!"
"Yo." Haru suddenly appears out of nowhere. Natsume was too busy arguing with Sasayan that she didn't notice Haru arrive. "Watcha guys doing?" He was a little too happy.
His appearance made both Sasayan and Natsume stop.
"You look happy, Haru-kun." Natsume says.
Such was the end of her argument with Sasayan.
As soon as she was out of the center, out of Sasayan's presence, out of anybody's presence, she stomped hard on the floor.
"Gaaaah!" She screams. "Sasayan-kun Sasayan-kun I hate you!" She screams. She continues to stomp hard. Perhaps she was imagining she was stepping on him, or on her feelings, or Sasayan-kun.
"You stupid stupid shorty. I know that. You don't have to remind me." She stops to breathe in air. A lot of air. She starts to walk away, but then she remembers his stupid face and his stupid words. "You little-" She whines. She was lucky not a lot of people were around, she would've been taken to the hospital or the police if anybody saw her tantrums.
Eventually, she gets tired of it. But apparently, her thoughts weren't only clouded with Micchan, Sasayan swims through it too. "Why do you have to be the one who sees me at my worsts?"
She remembers the time at the donut shop, and this day when she acted coldly towards Shimoyanagi, everytime her face goes red, and all the things about herself she wouldn't have normally said to any boy. She kicked a post.
The door to the center opens and the boy she so wanted to beat off came out. She stared at him. "Don't say anything." She says before he can even talk or come any closer to her. Well, it's not like he have something to say, anyway.
Sasayan shrugs his shoulder, turns to his side, then starts to walk away. She grabbed an empty can of coke and threw it at him. "Rude." She said.
She was terrible at throwing, she wasn't like him. She didn't hit him, but she almost did. Well, a part of his ear.
"What is wrong with you?" Sasayan turns around, finally getting annoyed as well.
"I don't know." She calls from where she was standing. "Why don't you help me find out?"
"Oh sure, I will." He said sarcastically. "And when we do, I'll-"
He stopped because Natsume was starting to look really not like herself. "Natsume-san?"
She sniffed, but there were no tears. She sniffed, and she wanted to punch him.
Why is it always you who would catch me at my worsts?
In the manga, it wasn't very clear on what exactly it was Natsume returned to Sasayan. So, in here, I just made my own kind of version. Either way, it doesn't change the story. Hope you guys like it. And yeah, reviews :D
