Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for the favs, alerts and reviews. Thank you to JC (the guest reviewer), Padfootette, and evans137. And don't worry, Holly will in fact speak more with Remus and Molly...Ginny, but that's the next chapter. Lavender will also have some interesting news of her own...hmm, I wonder what it is? Oh, and I forgot to mention! I did a one shot titled "My Baby Boy" that is a fluffy little look into the future for both Sirius and Holly. Read it!
Chapter Eight
Holly,
I look forward to seeing you, I've missed you very much. I'm sorry with the way I ended our relationship. It never should have happened. I'm going to end this letter before I write a novel on how very sorry I am.
With all my love,
Sirius
Holly folded the parchment and stuck it into a drawer of her desk. She threw herself back onto her bed and laid on her back. A hand automatically found its way to her belly. She smiled to herself as she stared at the popcorn ceiling. Ever since she had found out about the life growing in her belly, she almost always had a hand on her belly.
It was Thursday now and she had nothing better to do than to lay about the house. Hermione was in classes and Lavender was with Madame Pomfrey. She had talked to Madame Pomfrey and had been able to end her little internship. Holly had been able to also talk to the Headmistress and explain that she was no longer going to continue her education. Both Pomfrey and McGonagall had been concerned, but she had been able to explain that it was for a very personal matter that she would rather not discuss at the moment.
"Knock knock!" A voice called from the living room. "I'm here, dear."
Holly sighed and sat up on her bed as the Weasley matriarch came into her bedroom.
"Oh," Mrs. Weasley gushed as she sprang forward to hug her tightly. "You three have such a lovely home! Now I know why Ron is over most nights! How are you, my dear?"
"I'm okay," Holly said, sounding a bit down. "I've felt a little tired as of late. My tits bloody hurt -"
"Language, dear.."
"- Sorry.. And the smell of cooking pork seems to be the number one trigger for my gag reflex..Ohh, and I absolutely love the sweet metallic taste of blood pops at the moment."
Molly giggled. "Oh! It seems that you are experiencing almost all the pregnancy symptoms that are most common. Oh, this is so exciting! My first grandchild!"
They moved toward the kitchen, where a large woolen bag was on the four seater table. Molly began to unpack the bag, bringing out large and heavy-looking containers that definitely would not have been able to fit if not for magical extension charms.
"Oh," Holly exclaimed in delight as Molly opened a large container filled to the brim with her home-made chicken soup, the aroma filling the small kitchen. "That smells absolutely divine!"
Molly served her a large bowl of soup before she began to unpack rolls, butter, and glasses of lemonade. The last container was a fresh batch of her famous, home-made treacle tart.
"You best not leave these out in the open," Molly said as she served herself, but pointed to the container of treacle tart. "If Ron sees them you won't be likely to get a bite. That boy, he's as slim as a bean pole but his stomach is a bottomless abyss."
Holly chuckled and nodded.
"Are you planning on doing anything this weekend? Arthur and I were planning on having a nice family dinner on Sunday. Bill and Fleur are going to be coming. George will be there as well, or course. Ron and Lavender have promised to be there. Why, I've already sent the owl out to Hermione to invite her and Draco Malfoy... Oh my, I wonder how Ron will be taking that news."
"Eh," Holly said as she sipped the soup. "He's been alright with seeing Draco's mug here. Draco stays here almost every other day, you see. He just glared at first, but now it's cooled down to grunting in Draco's direction."
Molly chuckled. "Well, that sounds good then. I'm glad I won't have to worry about any duels breaking out at dinner. Will you be coming?"
Holly nodded. "I'll be there."
"Wonderful! And, erm, I also invited Sirius, just so you know... Have you talked to him yet, dear?"
Holly shook her head.
"Oh," Molly commented softly. "You know, I've been taking him three meals a day. Everyone knows the man can burn water.. I haven't told him about anything we had talked about, just so you know."
"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," Holly smiled slightly to her. "I did send him an owl."
"Oh?"
"Yes. I told him I would go to Grimmauld on Friday so that we can talk."
"That's good, dear. Its bad for the baby if you hold in all these stressing concerns to yourself. Talking to a close friend, family member, or loved one in general will always help... And I will always be just and owl or floo away."
Holly's smile widened and a lump of emotion welled within her chest. She watched as Mrs. Weasley talked on, this time about setting up an appointment with a healer and what type of foods would be good for her and the baby. Every once in a while, Mrs. Weasley would lean forward and hold her hand.
In this moment, Holly knew this: she was lucky to have such a wonderful mother figure in her life to hold her hand.
*Thursday*
Her shoes were the only sound she could hear in the hall as she walked toward the infirmary. The students were obviously in class because there was not a soul in sight on this Thursday afternoon. Thank goodness! She really didn't feel like dealing with wide-eyed school children at the moment, which sounded peculiar, seeing as she would eventually have a wide-eyed school child in the future, but that was something different altogether.
She was planning on meeting Lavender this afternoon for lunch. Or breakfast, whichever looked good. Holly rubbed her belly in thought. Maybe...brunch?
They had both planned to adventure out into muggle London to search for a nice café or a pub, whichever came first. Holly sucked on her teeth and remembered she wasn't allowed to drink. But, didn't French women indulge in a glass of wine now and then? Now there was a question to ask her healer.
She couldn't deny that there was a slight skip in her step as she made her way toward the infirmary. She was hoping to say hello to Madame Pomfrey and hopefully convince her to let Lavender off thirty minutes early. Holly rubbed her belly again. It was growling now and she smiled. Her baby was hungry and she was loath to deny it a thing. And she swore that with every meal she had her baby was growing bigger and stronger. Others would argue that she looked the same (Hermione and Lavender), but there was no denying the obvious change when she was naked and in front of the bathroom mirror.
And now there was definitely no denying the skip in her step as she thought of her baby. Just thinking of him or her brought her to smiles and sometimes giggles. She was so excited to meet them and - she walked right into the only student walking the halls in the middle of class.
"Oof!" was the sound that came out of her mouth as she steadied herself on a suit of armor.
The kid, a girl, fell back onto her bum and her school bag had completely emptied on the hallway floor. The girl looked up at her with huge eyes filled with tears and panic.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Holly apologized as she helped the girl up. "Are you alright?"
"Yes," she girl answered with a sob as she began to right her robes. "I'm just really late for class. My roommates didn't wake me and let me sleep in. I already missed two others."
She began to help the girl with her things and asked, "What's your name?"
"Lily Jones."
Holly's eyes widened in surprise at the name. "T-that's a pretty name. Lily, I mean. Are you a muggleborn?"
Lily Jones nodded, her eyes also wide.
"Are you in Gryffindor?"
"Slytherin. This is my first year."
"Wow. A muggleborn in Slytherin. You must get a lot of flack about that subject."
"Yeah," Lily grumbled.
"Don't worry. Things will turn around for you. Just don't believe all the rumors they spread about Slytherins, find yourself some dependable friends and you'll do fine... What's the class your late for?"
"Potions," Lily answered immediately. "With my house head, Professor Slughorn."
Holly smiled. "Just tell old Slughorn I ran you over in the halls for an excuse and he should let you off with no fuss."
The muggleborn first year look a tad confused. "What's your name?"
Holly's smile widened into a grin at the refreshing question. "My name is Holly. Holly Potter, at your service."
Little Lily Jones' eyes bulged before they lit up first in recognition and then awe. She opened her mouth, no doubt to exclaim something in excitement when they were both interrupted.
"I read about you in Hogwarts, A History -"
"Ms. Jones? Holly?"
They both looked up at the person. Lily's eyes brightened again at the sight of the professor who was walking toward them from the direction of the infirmary. Holly nearly blanched at the sight of the current standing Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Remus Lupin. His face betrayed no emotion as his eyes took her in.
"Hi, Professor Lupin," Lily greeted , before slinging her bag over one shoulder. "I should really be going now. Thanks, Ms. Potter. Bye!"
Holly watched the girl scurry away toward the direction of the dungeons, where the potions classroom was situated. She turned back to Remus to find him watching her. She should have known that this would happen someday. Oh, why didn't she listen to Lavender and wait at the entrance for her! This certainly could have been avoided. Not forever, but she surely had not wanted to see him so soon after what happened in his classroom.
"Hi," he greeted quietly.
"Hullo," she replied just as quietly. "Didn't think I would see you so soon after...er."
Remus' cheeks flushed slightly. "My thoughts exactly... Listen, I want to apologize about that. The way everything went about... It wasn't the way I wanted it to happen."
"It shouldn't have happened at all," Holly said, toying with a loose thread of her baby blue robes. "I mean, your married for goodness sake! And I'm in love with someone else... It was in the heat of the moment. I was so angry at you for what you did and then you kissed me. Why?"
The man sighed, looking down trodden. "Do you really have to ask?"
"You don't love me, Remus," Holly suddenly said, looking him boldly in the eyes. "I remember that you were trying to tell me something. And I think you were trying to tell me that you were in love with me. I don't think you're in love with me. I think you're just in an infactuation with me."
"I do love you," he insisted.
"And what about Tonks and Teddy?"
Remus sighed. "We've been separated for a couple of weeks now. I see Teddy every weekend. She found out that I had coerced Sirius into breaking up with you.. and why."
"Merlin, who else knows about us!" Holly complained to herself before she turned back to him. "Even if you had separated from your wife, you still don't love me. You may think you do, but you don't. Besides, I'm in love with Sirius, Remus. There is nothing you can do that will change that.."
The man nodded, his fists stuffed into his pockets and his gaze onto the stone floor. He had his lower lip between his teeth and when he finally raised his head, she saw tears in his eyes. Holly turned away. While she knew for certain that his tears would never be able to sway her, to see his distraught and seemingly heartbroken face hurt her. It reminded her that she had been in his exact place when Sirius had broken up with her.
But she was also reminded that Remus had been one of the causes of that, and with that thought she turned back to him.
"I'm sorry you have to feel this way," she whispered, the stone walls carrying her words to his ears.
He nodded again and then began to walk away, but then he stopped. With his back still turned to her, he asked her a question.
"D-do think that if you were never in love with someone else already, that you would have been able to love me?"
Holly sighed before she shrugged, and she realized that he could not see her, so she answered his question.
"Maybe in another life."
Holly had never been more relieved to leave Hogwarts. In fact, she didn't think she could conjure up a memory when she had been so relieved to leave Hogwarts. Just the thought of Remus being in that castle was enough to make her run down the dirt road to Hogsmeade.
She had explained to Lavender about what had happened outside of the infirmary. Lavender, whom was still a bit of a gossip monger, as Hermione now effectionately called her, listened intently. But as soon as the gossip was had, Lavender seemed a bit different. In Holly's opinion she seemed quite depressed looking.
"Brunch is a wonderful word," Holly commented with a mouthful.
Lavender wrinkled her nose, though she looked amused.
"Swallow before you speak, please."
"Sorry," Holly chuckled after she had swallowed. "So, how are you and Ron? I haven't spoken to him since he ran out a couple of days ago."
Lavender sighed and her eyes darted around before she hunched down over her plate in defeat. She looked thoroughly upset about something and Holly had a feeling that it was because of Ron. That boy could be such a dunce sometimes. Okay, most times.
"We're fine," Lavender finally answered, sounding completely sullen.
Holly's eyebrows rose. "Really? It doesn't sound like everything's fine. Has he done something to make him seem like a total arse? Because if he has, I will make it my mission to go to his place of work and humiliate him in front of the customers... All while using the store merchandise. For free. I'll have you know I'm a private invester of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes."
Lavender smiled, her demeanor perking up a bit. "Please don't, I'll never hear the end of it and please don't worry about us. Ron is just in a... funk. I guess hearing your news pretty much aggravated it."
"Funk about what I wonder?"
"I said, please don't worry, Holls," Lavender pleaded. She gave Holly a puppy dog look. "I'll want to tell everyone together, when I'm ready."
"Okay. I'll try to wait patiently then."
"Thank you."
"And please don't ever mention the word funk and Ron in the same sentence. It sounds disgustingly smelly."
Holly was pleased to get a laugh out of Lavender.
*Friday*
"How do I look?" Holly asked Hermione and Lavender.
Both girls were sitting cross-legged on her bed. They both nodded in approval, their eyes sparkling.
"You're going to knock him right off of his feet," Lavender lamented.
Hermione agreed, though grudgingly. It seems that she was still mad about the way he had broken up with her best friend and knocked her up while he was at it because Holly could have sworn she had heard, "and hopefully down on flight of stairs.."
She was dressed in a black baby doll dress that was just a little too long and baggy on her, which was just the way she had wanted it to be. Lavender had let her borrow a black patent leather belt to tie around her waist. She had then borrowed Hermione's periwinkle cloak to go over it.
"I should be off then," Holly said as she looked one last time at herself in the mirror.
"You going to pop over or are you going to floo?" Hermione asked. She picked up a large volume of "What to Expect When Your Expecting A Little Witch or Wizard..". "I've consulted on a few text books on the subject of apparition or floo. It says that in the first trimester you should be fine, but to limit your travels to floo in the second and third. And it also says to portkey at the risk of your pregnancy, so..."
Holly chuckled. "Well, we don't have to worry about the portkey. It's not like I'll be going on some extended holiday of some sort. I'll stick to the country, thank you."
By the time she had made it to Grimmauld Place it was a little after 1pm. She quickly went up the four steps that lead up to the door and knocked.. As she waited, she smoothed out her hair, then her the cloak over her baby doll dress. The door opened quickly, and her breath was taken away.
Sirius stood before her. He looked freshly showered, his hair dripping with water. His jeans were unbuttoned and so was the blue plaid muggle shirt he was wearing. (1)His hair was something that had caught her eye. Holly couldn't take her eyes off of his wet shaggy hair. It was longer than when she had last seen him and it reminded her that it had been so long since she had last seen him.
"Hi," they both greeted and then chuckled.
"I'm relieved you came," Sirius admitted as he moved to the side to allow her in.
Holly couldn't help but smile. "I think I forgot to put in a specific time in my owl. Sorry about that."
"Yeah," Sirius said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I uh, thought maybe you would come in the middle of the morning, but you didn't, so then I thought maybe you weren't going to come. But I'm glad you did."
He led her into the library where Holly wanted to do anything but sit. She had noticed on the way to the library though that Grimmauld had changed. The walls, which had previously bore a dark wallpaper, were a golden cream. The dark mahogany wood of the banister and door frames were polished to a shine and the smell of a lemon wood oil was quite refreshing. There was even some new furniture instead of the old, uncomfortable furniture that had once belonged to his mother.
"I like what you've done," Holly commented as she looked around the library. "Everything looks so different. If I didn't know any different I would say we were in a different town house."
"Yeah," Sirius nodded, agreeing. "It's crazy what new wallpaper, a little paint and new furniture would do to a place. It doesn't look like the place I had grown up in anymore..."
"Which is the look you were going for, wasn't it?"
Sirius looked satisfied. "Exactly. My old bitch of a mother had this place looking like a real dungeon and the rest of us felt like prisoners. Even my father, the old bastard... But I've told you that before."
Holly nodded.
"Listen, I want to apologize to you-"
"Sirius," Holly sighed. "I think I know already how sorry you are... And you know what, I forgive you. All this time has given me the ability to get over it..."
Sirius sniffed. "Thank you. I want you to know that this was a major learning experience for me. I've realized that I have been a total dunce and that moment has to be one of the most horrible mistakes that I have ever made. It's right next to when I talked your father into making Peter into the secret keeper."
Holly sighed again. "That's something that no one blamed you for, Sirius. I don't know how many times I have to remind you of this..."
"I'm hoping a few thousand times more," Sirius said, his voice breaking only slightly. "I'm hoping that I'll get to hear your voice everyday from now on... This whole disaster has been a major learning point for me, love."
She sucked in a breath at his words and waited for him to say something more. She hoped he would say something more. There was an ache within her that strengthened as she was near him. It was a longing feeling that had been steadily growing stronger ever since she had left Grimmauld Place.
Sirius paused as if to find the words for what he wanted to say to her and he chewed on his bottom lip. Holly couldn't help but stare. Her eyes were locked on those plump lips. She had those lips not too long ago. She knew their taste, their surprisingly soft plumpness. And she knew the velvety feel of that tongue that came out to swipe across that lower lip. That velvety feel had haunted her dreams as it ran all over her body.
"The most important thing I had learned," Sirius finally continued after he let go of his lower lip. "Was that I am a miserable bastard without you -"
Holly covered her mouth a fist to stop the sob from escaping. She hunched forward and hugged her middle with her one available arm. The aching feeling in her being was slowly dissipating and what she was left with was a content relief. He wanted her! He wanted her back just as much as she wanted him back. She felt so stupid now. It occurred to her that if she had allowed him to apologize to her all those weeks ago in Hogsmeade, they would have probably been together already. If not for her pride, her despair in that moment, she and her lover would and should have been together.
And so she allowed herself a moment of anger at herself, before she allowed that too to dissipate from her very being. Holly would just have to accept the circumstances. No matter how long it took for them to reunite and whether it was her own fault, or his, or even Remus' - they were together again. And that was all that mattered now!
His hands were on her now. Holding her face and bringing her forward into his embrace. He was delicate with her, gentle and she felt his lips on her cheek, on the corner of her mouth, whispering.
"- I need you," he implored to her. "I need you in mind, body and soul. To be beside me as my equal in my home or in your home. It's doesn't matter where, but I need you to be my partner in crime... I need you to be mine forever."
Holly's hands fisted into his plaid shirt tightly, pulling toward as much as she could. She burrowed her face into his neck and nodded.
"Yes," she answered into his skin. "Please, yes. I want this too."
Their lips finally met. The delicious heat that was coming from his lips felt fantastic and she opened her mouth to him immediately. Their hands were everywhere and she vaguely realized that she had used all of her strength to walk him backwards to the small love seat that was right behind him. When the back of his knees hit the love seat, Sirius collapsed backwards. Holly shed her outer cloak and then sat down on his lap, reaching forward to taste his mouth again.
"Oh gods," Sirius said between kisses. "I have wanted to taste you for some time now."
Holly gave a throaty chuckle as his lips travelled down to her chin, to her throat and to her chest. His hands groped and squeezed her tender breasts before he began to unbuckle the patent belt that she had borrowed and then wrench the baby doll dress over her head. Holly knew exactly where there actions were leading to and she was so anxious for it. She had dreamed of this for weeks and now it was going to happen.
Before she knew it, she had gotten him out of his clothing and he was working on her bra and panties. Sirius began nudging her to a standing position and tugged her panties down. It seemed as if electricity was bringing her back to life as his hand brushed over her nether regions.
"Oh!" she gasped in surprise, as she was much more sensitive than she had realized after so many weeks of celibacy.
When she was finally able to sink down onto his hardness they both cried out together. They held each other tightly as Sirius ever so slowly began to thrust upwards. Holly had wrapped her legs around his waist tightly and held on for the ride as he began to gradually speed up until it seemed as if he was pounding into her very being. And when they finally came they laid on the floor of the library, limbs tangled together and the sweat cooling their heated skin.
"I love you so much," she whispered to him as he ran his hands all over her body.
"I love you too," he said.
They laid their a little while longer, sleep beginning to take over. His hands continued their journey over her body until they stopped just over her tummy and Holly froze. Fear began to seep into her very pours as she realized that she had forgotten to do something. It was the very reason why she had wanted to come to Grimmauld Place, why she had wanted to come see Sirius.
His soft snore surprised her and she relaxed into his tightening embrace as he slept. Holly decided to allow the fear to drift away. She could definitely hold off on telling him. She could tell him later tonight. Or even tomorrow. Or just another day altogether. It wasn't as if she was going to give birth in the week to come. She still had time, right?
A/N: (1) I had heard and read an interview where J. K. Rowling had said that whenever Sirius became depressed he would allow his hair to get longer, but when he was perfectly content his hair was normally around the length between his shoulder and his chin. I think you can still find that interview on hp-lexicon or mugglenet. Check it out. Lots of interesting info on those sites that I use for my fictions. Review please!
