Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever

More Dream Shenanigans (Chapter 9)

Created 3/7/17 -3/10/17

Disclaimer: Why do I even bother? Well since I've already started, I don't own Mario and co.

Author note: I'm going for a conspiracy thing here, things won't be as the seem.

Like before, this went through some some rewrites, though it didn't come from difficulty but rather me changing my mind on the direction I was going. Excuse the delay.


Toad was a dangerous mushroom. The most dangerous one ever known. More deadly than a "Death Cap". More sticky than the web of a "Webcap". More cold and dreary than the autumn of an "Autumn Skullcap". Well, in theory.

So anyway he was dangerous. When one thinks of a bad mushroom trip, it comes from Toad. And Toad was still walking for miles...miles in the Whoazone!

"Sure, I'm flattered, opening narration. Apparently I'm not only dangerous, I'm more 'bad' than Mario Jackson. But I'm still lost and nothing has been accomplished aside from finding this tennis racket. This sucks!"

"Hey you!" a feminine voice called.

Toad looked to the right. Where was a purple colored booth ahead with a dark figure inside, though Toad could have sworn nothing was there a second ago.

"Head on over here handsome, if you just don't know what to do!"

Toad raised one eyebrow but approached anyway.

"Hello, I'm Toad and-"

"You are lost. Just admit it! Men never want to use a map, I tell you. It's always, 'Oh I'll find away out of this alternate dimension on my own!' and then of course-"

"-Excuse me?" Toad cut in. "I would love a map, ma'am!"

"What? I'm shocked. You can't see it right now but I am!"

This was true. This guide was dressed exactly like the one before, a dark robe with her face an all else completely hidden.

She began again, "You are going to be my first customer since forever."

"Yeah about that, I'm broke. Could I borrow a map or something?"

"Oh sure, just sign here!" A paper suddenly appeared on the booth's desk. "But I'll need to take collateral, sugar."

"Umm," Toad mumbled while speed reading the agreement, a skill any trusted Castle Advisor should master. "I have a racket with my emblem on it and a hair accessory, but the hair thing belongs to an important friend so you'd better not take-"

"So hair accessory it is!" the guide said.

"Hey, wait where did it go?" The yellow hair band was gone from his pocket.

"Dude! I mean- ma'am! I can't give you that!"

"Oh really? Because you already signed the contract."

Toad looked down and gasped. "Toad Toad" was signed on the dotted line.

"Here is your map of the wonderful, infinite, maddening Whoa Zone! Enjoy buddy, but don't forget that it might take one in a half eons to work off the debt."

The "map" by the way was an ancient looking sheet of paper with only a face printed on it. A face with a grotesque smile, amused most likely at the expense of someone's feelings on the internet.

"So a troll face?" Toad grumbled. "Does this narration have to exaggerate everything? Did I even walk for miles?"

Suddenly the original booth he visited was next door...because Toad didn't walk for miles after all. Oops.

"This underground freak giving you trouble?" The original guide asked the female guide.

"This is serious. I HAVE to get home. Can I get out of here or not?!"

"Yes but that info will require another fee," the female guide said as the male snickered. "Maybe if you would let me take that racket of yours for collateral.."

The racket...

The racket!

As if Toad was no longer in control of himself, he pulled it out and held it high above his head. The incoherent world around him went red as Toad started to personify danger itself.

Oh, and this was no exaggeration...


Mario and his friends were at the 'Koopa and Kailey Circus'.

"I've heard this before," Daisy complained.

They observed the various freaks being displayed in cages such as a-

"Chain Chomp mixed with a Piranha?"

-Chain Chomp mixed with a Ptooie.

"Close enough. Now can I get out of this dream land?"

"It's nice to see these weirdos in cages for once," Mario said, ignoring meta rants of Daisy completely. He took a bite out of his corn dog. "It's about time we got a day off for fun."

"I'm hungry," Luigi complained.

"Listen," Daisy interrupted, "I've been through this and even brutalized Mario for it-"

"-So anyway Luigi, you aren't my real brother."

Luigi cried as everyone laughed.

"Stop!" Daisy shouted. Mario and the crew looked at her curiously.

"I am Princess Daisy of Sarasaland, NOT the Mushroom Kingdom! The Mushroom King is NOT my father and I have nothing to do with your politics. I don't think I am even really here right now. All I know is that I was preparing for my tennis match when Toad and I had one last drink of FungusUp. Then during the match I must have blacked out or something! Now don't sit here and treat me like I'm crazy!-"

"-She's crazy, get her," Mario commanded. Toad, Luigi, and the King approached her.

"Wait, stay back!" Daisy backed up to a tent behind her. She was cornered. This was it. She was always the Princess to stay out of danger, at least compared to Peach, but she would have liked to believe her reputation had something to do with it. She took a serious interest in physical training after Mario saved her from Tatanga long ago and everyone knew it. These weren't her real friends anyway, or at least she hoped, because she feared she'd have to do something drastic.

"What will it be, Daisy?" Mario asked coldly.

Daisy grabbed the flowery racket and held it above her head. Mario's face changed from a scowl to a look of terror as her vision went red...


"So we're all together now?" Bowser asked impatiently.

"Yeah I guess," Luigi answered.

"One big happy family!" Boo cheered.

"Umm, one step at a time, Boo," Mario said nervously.

"Ahh! Don't run over me!" Yoshi blurted out. Until then, he had been shocked into silence by the explanation that Mario and Bowser were friends. "Oh sorry I just had a flash back to when I was trying to find a wall outlet. So many people running out of the doors..." Yoshi seemed slightly traumatized.

Mario felt uneasy again. "About that, I'm not a fan of this abandoned hospital feeling. Let's head back to the rooms.."

After an uneventful walk from the lobby to the patient area, Mario knocked on the door, room 444. All was silent. He tried the lock. It didn't budge. He looked back to the gang.

"Leave it to me," Bowser said and he took a few steps back and bent down about to charge.

"Wait Bowser- don't-"

Creak!

The door opened, revealing Doctor Professor Koopa's aged face. He looked straight at Mario.

"Hello Mario and friends. Just a minute please."

"Doctor, we don't have a minute. What is really going on?" Mario asked sternly.

He frowned, with a hint of confusion. "I'm...but...the patient confidentiality-"

Bowser reached out and grabbed the Doctor unexpectedly. Everyone sans Mario gasped.

"Ack! Help!"

"Mario," Peach plead. "Stop him!"

"So again, what's really going on?" Mario continued. Peach gave Mario a nasty look that he ignored.

"I b-but..." the Doctor Professor stuttered.

Bowser yawned. "The cats got this old man's tongue. Let's just look inside already."

"Yes. Let's," Mario said, brushing past the terrified doctor in Bowser's arms to push open the door completely. Boo, Luigi and Yoshi reluctantly followed.

Toad and Daisy were exactly as before. They were connected to no monitors or other equipment and lay as if the were simply sleep. Mario stomped his feet.

"Bowser? Bring him in here," he called.

Bowser complied and the Doctor who was previously squirming a much as his old joints would allow went limp in Bowser's arms. Mario walked right up to the doctors face.

"Listen here doc, if you are doing ANYTHING to our friends-"

"Mario!" Peach scolded as she stepped in. "When we agreed to work with Bowser, we didn't agree to work with TWO Bowsers!"

"Princess," Mario stuttered, "It was just an act like-"

"Good cop, bad cop," Bowser said, "Cept, we're both kind of the bad cops right now, ha!"

"Well you cannot just walk in and force people to do things. Not in this hospital. Not in my hospital!"

"Wait! I can explain," the Doctor interjected, conscious again. "It's... soap opera death syndrome!"

"What?!" everyone exclaimed. The shock made Bowser drop him.

"But we're video game characters," Mario said annoyed. "And that is a terrible excuse. So I will say this again: What is wrong with our friends? Where are the other staff? Why is this hospital empty?-"

"-And are you really a Doctor and a Professor?!" Bowser added. Everyone stared at him. "What? You don't find that weird?"

Someone pounded furiously at the door and opened it at the same time. It was a Monty Mole wearing a bright yellow hazmat suit.

"Jimmy M. of the Mushroom Kingdom Disease Control Unit!"

"What the-!?" Everyone exclaimed. Doctor Professor backed up against the wall near the window.

"Oh no..." he muttered. "Nurse Nass. T must have done this, the traitor..."

"Speak up, doc!" Mario commanded.

"Back off!" The Doctor warned. He pulled out a seemingly normal ink pen and aimed it at Mario. "I will shoot!"

"Huh?"

Pop!

A glistening object flew towards Mario. Suddenly, someone shoved him to the side, with enough force to send him towards the wall in between Toad and Daisy's beds.

"Mario!" Everyone screamed. Luigi and Peach rushed towards him to help him up.

"I'm okay! But- BOWSER?!"

Bowser was grimacing at his arm, the one that was closest to Mario. The projectile was on the floor, having bounced off of his thick skin.

"Ugh, I'll be alright. You owe me one, mustache. Oww!"

Mario rushed to his side. "Bowser, are you sure you're okay?!"

"The doctor guy!" Boo called out.

CRASH!

Glass shards hit the floor as Doctor Professor hurled himself through the window.

"Ahhh! Wait. This is the first floor so he's probably okay, but why didn't you do something?!" Mario asked the MKDCU agent sharply.

"Deranged and murderous doctors are not my problem sir. So anyway outside resources have been looking into this 'T-virus' and this hospital is wholly unequipped for this kind of thing." He checked Toad and Daisy's files. "Yep, Toad Toad and Princess Daisy Bloom. We're gonna have to take them away." The agent whistled and two more suited agents, a Paratroopa and a Wiggler, entered and wheeled the beds with Toad and Daisy on them away.

"What the-!?" Everyone exclaimed...again. Mario was the first to regain his composure.

"Guys, let's let them do their job. We clearly failed here, and as much as I hate to admit it, they're probably in better hands now," Mario groaned. He checked Bowser's arm. "A hidden pen gun. I should have known that playing 'bad cop' could put us in danger."

"What are we going to do, Mario?" Peach asked.

"We are in a hospital that someone has called the health department on. No one knows what's going on and we've had at least one murder attempt. Who would we normally call in these situations?"

"You, Mario."

"And I got nothing," Mario replied with slight annoyance at everyone's lack of concern for Bowser. His tough skin made the attack nothing more than a scratch but it could have been worse had Mario gotten hit. Bowser could have just saved his life.

"By the way, thank you Bowser," he said sincerely.

"Don't mention it, plumber," Bowser cooly replied, though smiling revealed his true emotions. "I have an idea. I know where we can go!"

Peach hesitated to ask. "Where?"

"Your castle, Princess," Bowser replied.

Peach gasped, but Bowser was right. Her personal doctor staff was world renowned for excellency.

"Luigi? Uh, how do you feel about this?" Mario asked. "I did promise to keep you in the know from now on, bro."

Luigi was briefly confused at the sudden attention. "I...sure good plan! Peach's castle, but with Bowser and..." his eyes widened at the realization.

"Don't worry bro.," Mario comforted. "We will just have to explain things like before. I'm sure they will understand. Let's get out of here."

Sometimes Mario's unfailing optimism was a very bad thing, Luigi thought. Bowser was thinking something as well:

"I get to visit Peach's place!"


"So what's the secret to your amazing lips, Kylie?" the MKDCU driver asked.

"You got the wrong Kylie," Kylie Koopa of the "Koopa Kronicle" scolded, "I ain't got no lip secrets, and I'm the reporter here! Is this situation hot or not?"

"I don't know. I'm not a doctor!"

"Ugh, then why am I interviewing you?" Kylie groaned. The ambitious reporter was often the first on the scene for "The Big Scoop" but in her haste she often staged impromptu interviews on the first person she saw. Often the wrong person.

Many were gathered outside of the hospital, having been sent out by a silent alarm. Hospital staff and patients stood around anxiously and the MKDCU truck was parked in front of the entrance. Kylie had just arrived on the scene after the commotion triggered her sixth sense for "Scoops".

"Hey," a Goomba MKDCU agent called to the driver, "Jimmy M. says he has the two special patients and they're heading out." Kylie listened carefully, recording this info in her notebook.

"Special patients havin to be evacuated from Mushroom Kingdom East? The special disease unit needin to be called? A random guy that just jumped out of that window other there? This IS The Big Scoop!"

To be continued


Life lessons/ fun facts:

-Do not confuse Kylie Koopa with another famous Kylie. Violence will ensue.

-Only the bestest of friends save your life from murderous old doctor professors! Okay, seriously though, we all need friends like that.

-Daisy's physical activities involving, soccer, tennis, track and field, karate, volleyball, gymnastics, and competitive gardening, to name a few.

-The "Troll" face was actually invented by the otherworldly Whoazonians in 1337 B.C.E. Then some guy on deviantart or something stole it and made it popular.

-Like before, the original version of this was...not crazy actually. But I realized that I didn't want the hospital to be the focus of the conflict so a rewrite was needed.