Here's a pretty important chapter...next one is in Remus' point of view.


Once back at school Sirius was not entirely sure how to act around Remus. It was silly really, considering he was the only one out of the two of them who knew that he knew what had happened. He should just act like he normally did. Except he couldn't, because every time he saw Remus he was reminded of what he now knew and he was stuck between anger at those who had done what they had to Remus, and sadness, because Remus was his friend and he did not know what to do to help him get better.

When Sirius did not know how to properly handle a situation he tended to avoid it. This soon became quite apparent to the others, considering before Christmas break Sirius had spent a lot of time with Remus but was now, after the break, avoiding him quite often. Sirius was soon spending quite a lot of time avoiding James and Peter's questions as well. It was tiresome.

He was not avoiding the entire matter completely, however. After their return from break Sirius started to keep track of the moon phases, intent upon seeing if Remus really was a werewolf. The night of the next full moon, Sirius made a point to watch Remus as closely as he could without hopefully making it too obvious he was doing so. It was not a complete surprise when Remus up and left the common room. Sirius made an excuse to leave and ran up the steps to the dorm, going to grab James' invisibility cloak.

Soon he was out in the hallways, trying to make his way outside without getting caught. Outside was the best place to start, he assumed, because there was no way Remus could become a werewolf while still in the castle.

Once outside he headed towards the forest, wondering where exactly Remus could be. The grounds were well lit by the light of the full moon shining down upon it. As he neared the edge of the forest he suddenly heard a howling from further away, somewhere Sirius could not place. Was it from the forest or somewhere else? Was it really Remus? Sirius did not know. It was probably not the smartest idea to actually go looking for a werewolf, but Sirius continued his search anyway for almost another hour before finally giving up.

It was not a surprise either the next day when he found out that Remus was in the hospital wing again. He wanted to visit him, but, at the same time, was nervous too, so he decided to wait until the afternoon when he could have the excuse of bringing Remus his homework to explain why he was visiting.

The fact that Remus was in the hospital wing proved to be useful. Sirius had decided he would ask their Defense Against the Dark Arts professor about the whole black market stuff involving werewolves. He was, admittedly, being rather sneaky about it, waiting till after class to ask and all, but Sirius Black did not ask questions during class unless it was to be disruptive. He was not about to ruin his bad boy streak, no matter how important the question was. Plus he did not have a really good reason to even explain why he was asking about this, especially not one good enough to fool the entire class. Surely someone would suspect something. Maybe he was just being paranoid.

After class he approached Professor Wiggins tentatively, making sure all the other students were already on their way out of the classroom. "Er, professor?"

His professor eyed him warily, something that did not surprise Sirius in the least. "Yes, Mr. Black? If this is about your essay grade, the poem, while entertaining, did not exactly properly answer the question-"

"Uh, no." Sirius laughed, shaking his head. Though, honestly, that had been a rather good poem, he thought. Shame Wiggins did not agree. "Actually I had a question...about werewolves."

"Werewolves?" Wiggins gave him an odd look. "What about werewolves?"

Surely if there was a werewolf attending the school all the teachers would know, right? Sirius really hoped Wiggins would not make the connection then as to why Sirius was really asking these questions. "Well, it's just...we've only been taught the basics about them, right? We weren't really taught too much of their history beyond that, and the subject's barely even touched upon in History of Magic. I heard something about the werewolf trade on the black market and was confused since it wasn't something I'd ever heard of before. Figured you might be able to explain it more to me."

"Well, I'm not surprised you hadn't heard of it before." Wiggins replied carefully. "People tried to stay quiet about it especially considering what a controversy it was, what with the fact that werewolves are still technically part human. There are bans that aren't always completely enforced on trade involving magical creatures because those creatures aren't human in any way and even Ministry officials can be corrupt, partaking in such things. For werewolves...well, it's like basically selling and buying humans and therefore people get iffier about it. Of course the people who mainly bought and sold them were of the belief that werewolves really weren't human at all in any way, so they chose to ignore the other side of the argument, only seeing the money which they would receive between buying and selling and from the werewolf fights."

"By the time the Ministry really caught on to all of this it had been going on for years." Wiggins continued. "I was working in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures when the Ministry finally made the official ban on the werewolf trade and really started cracking down on taking action against those who participated in it. I think what sickened me the most was when I found out it had expanded from adult werewolves to children who were werewolves as well. That did not happen in the beginning."

"Why would they get kids?" Sirius asked quietly.

Wiggins thought about it for a moment. "Well, I suppose it was because kids were easier to control, and they could be trained better for the fights. Adult werewolves who were captured probably tried to fight back more often and were harder to contain. I have to ask, why the interest though? Was it just because you heard about the trade?"

Sirius shook his head, figuring he may as well be slightly honest about it. "My brother reminded me the other day of this lady who used to work for our parents. She was around when we were little, to clean some and all, but we hardly ever saw her. One day she just disappeared. Regulus told me it was because our dad had bought her for the fights. She had lost once and was injured or something and so he...disposed of her." The thought of it still sickened him.

"That was fairly common when it came to the fights, sadly." Wiggins explained. "There weren't many rules. Whoever was down first lost. Sometimes neither would give up and the spectators would just let things go until one of the fighters would either pass out or, well, die. I can't imagine why they would think it okay to put a child into the fights, but who knows how their minds work. It's cruel, sickening, and I, for one, am glad the Ministry has finally cracked down on something like that. It's done such terrible damage to those lives we managed to free and save. I'm sure there are still werewolves out there suffering, and we can only hope that they'll be rescued at some point. I wish I could still be of more help, but, alas, I am getting rather on in age and the physical involvement is too taxing..."

Sirius really did not care to hear about his professor's woes about old age. There was a bunch of emotions fighting him at the moment and all he wanted to do was go see Remus. "Well...er, thank you, sir, for...telling me more about this. I should probably be heading off..."

"Yes, well, you are welcome." His professor nodded. "I wish you would ask good questions like that during class sometimes. It wouldn't hurt, you know."

"Oh, no way." Sirius laughed, waving as he headed for the door. "Then everyone would actually think I care. Have a reputation to uphold, sir. Farewell!" And with that he was out the door.

He managed to get Remus' notes for him that Lily had taken – like Sirius himself would have taken any notes...– and ran back to Gryffindor to get some of Remus' books for him. Then he took off for the Hospital Wing, nerves settling in his stomach that was already feeling upset from all the emotions plaguing him from what Wiggins had told him. Everything he had been told was informative, but now Sirius just felt even angrier towards the terrible people who had treated Remus, and other werewolves, so dreadfully.

Quietly Sirius entered the Hospital Wing, looking around to see there was no one else there. The nurse was in her office. Well, that was all quite convenient. Sirius stopped to inform the nurse he was there to bring Remus his missed work before he actually went and saw him.

Remus was asleep, or looked to be asleep. His back was too him, so Sirius could not tell. Sirius approached him and set the notes and books down on the little shelf next to the bed. "Remus? Hey...you awake?" There was no reply, but Sirius did see Remus' shoulders twitch. Obviously he was now aware of Sirius' presence at least.

"I brought your missed class work and stuff." Sirius continued. "Figured you might want it. I know how much you hate getting behind in class." He bit his lip when Remus still refused to turn and acknowledge him. It did not take him long to figure out what was probably going on: Sirius had been ignoring him for a while now, after all, so Remus was probably confused and upset about that.

Sighing, mentally calling himself an idiot, Sirius carefully sat himself down at the foot of the bed. He was looking towards the floor, but he felt Remus' feet pull away from him and it made him feel sadder. "Look, I'm sorry for...avoiding you and all. It has nothing- well, it has a lot to do with you, but you didn't do anything wrong. I just don't know how to talk to you- oh god that came out wrong. I do know how to talk to you, just not about...why I've been avoiding you. I'm rambling now, ack." A rustling sound turned his head and he saw Remus was sitting up now, watching him with a slightly confused expression. There was a hint of curiousness behind those icy gray eyes as well though.

Sirius could not turn his face away as he continued to try and figure out what he had to say. He was trying to be careful, not wanting to upset Remus but, at the same time, trying to let Remus know that he knew; that he was there for him. "I'm sorry..." he spoke again quietly, "I- I know. I mean, I know that you're a...werewolf." He whispered the word quietly, feeling paranoid again that someone may overhear them and therefore learn about Remus' condition.

The effect of Sirius having said that was instantaneous. Remus' eyes widened in fear and he shrunk away from Sirius, seemingly curling in on himself. Sirius panicked and immediately tried to reassure Remus that everything was okay. "No! No, no, no, I'm not- I don't-" Why was finding the right words to say so difficult sometimes?

"It doesn't bother me." Sirius told him, hoping Remus could tell how sincere he was trying to be. "I wasn't avoiding you because of that, I swear. I won't treat you any differently because you just so happen to turn into a wolf during the full moon. No, I was avoiding you because...I know about everything else you've gone through – well, not all the details, of course, but the basics – and it...I was so upset about it that I didn't know how to handle my feelings and talk to you." Ugh, Sirius Black really did not like talking about feelings. "No one should have to go through something like what you had to, especially as a kid."

"And...now every time I see you I'm reminded of that and I just want to find those evil people who treated you so badly and- I don't even know what I'd do to them, but I just really hope they didn't get away with what they've done." He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, feeling ill again just thinking about how cruel people could really be. He couldn't look back up at Remus, sure he had upset him even more now but unable to shut himself up. "I thought maybe I could help you, you know? I'd thought 'oh, well maybe if we become friends I could help him feel better', but then...after I knew everything I just felt hopeless because how could I ever help you after all of that? It's not something you'll ever just forget-"

He was getting all choked up. All this emotional stuff was generally uncomfortable for Sirius, but he didn't feel as uncomfortable about it while he was with Remus. He couldn't figure out why he cared so much though; why he had always cared so much, ever since meeting Remus. Was it just because they were friends? Or maybe it was because Sirius had just known that Remus was that same boy he had seen all the way back in the summer before his first year of school. He didn't know. All he knew was that he cared for Remus a lot and it was frustrating to think that he may not be able to help him out as well as he wanted to.

A hand rested tentatively on his shoulder, startling him slightly. What happened next was so unexpected that Sirius would have missed it completely if the room had not been so silent. A very quiet voice whispered next to him a simple 'It's alright'.

Sirius turned his head in surprise, starring wide-eyed at Remus who looked just as surprised as he did. "You spoke..." They had been words meant to comfort, which Sirius appreciated, but he thought it should be the other way around. "You don't have to comfort me, Remus...I should be the one comforting you."

Remus withdrew his hand from Sirius' shoulder and looked down at the blanket covering him, seemingly unsure now as to what he should do.

"I appreciate it though." Sirius told him, not wanting Remus to think he had made a mistake in doing what he had done. He carefully reached over and placed his hand on top of Remus', smiling to himself when Remus did not pull his hand away. "And I finally got to hear your voice! The long wait was worth it." He chuckled nervously, really hoping he wasn't going to do something to scare Remus back into silence for another lengthy period of time. "I won't tell anyone; if it makes you feel more comfortable. I just hope I can hear it again soon."

As Remus nodded in response, Sirius smiled and stood up, figuring he should probably go soon and let him rest. He was halted however by Remus' hand grabbing a hold of his tightly. "Er, I was gonna let you get some rest, but would you rather I stay?" He got a nod in reply.

"Alright then, scoot over." Sirius told him, chuckling a tiny bit at Remus' confused look. "I'm joining you." Remus still did not move for a second, but then he did, sliding over to the side a bit so Sirius could sit down next to him. There wasn't much room so their shoulders were touching, but Remus did not pull away from the contact.

Sirius reached over to grab Remus' missed work and textbooks. "Fancy doing some homework?" He laughed, carefully handing Remus the stuff. "Somehow I think you've become one of the smartest in our year. I'm sure Evans enjoys the academic competition, now that there's someone else around who's about as nerdy as she is." Sirius wondered if Remus would find that as an insult and abruptly backtracked. "Not that being nerdy is a bad thing!" He exclaimed. "I mean, I would never want to be considered such. Reputation would suffer and all, but for you it's okay. It's more than okay, brilliant even." He felt like he was bordering rambling again. "Maybe you could help me out, eh?"

A small grin managed to appear on Remus' face, but as quickly as it came it was gone again. Sirius' heart jumped at the sight. It was the first time he had seen Remus smile and now that he had seen it once he wanted to see it again. There had been a little bit of that missing light shining in Remus' eyes right then at that moment; Sirius made a silent promise to himself that he would continue to do every thing he could to make sure that the light would return for good.