"Saying they're stupid would imply that they're idiots." Carly said. "What's going on?"
"Carly, we need to tell you something." I stepped forward, "I've been lying to you. About everything. I didn't want to tell you when I started having feelings for Freddie because you always told me how much you liked the fact he loved you because it made you feel special." I shrugged, "I'm sorry."
Carly stared at me, dumbfounded. "So... you two are... together?"
"Carly..." Freddie mumbled, "I'm sorry."
"You lied to me. You guys betrayed me. You went behind my back. Again." She dropped her bag, and started to walk toward her room, "Sam, I knew you liked him after seeing all those stupid drawings you had of him. But you didn't need to both lie to me about being together."
"You looked in my sketch pad?" I ran up to her and grabbed her arm, "Carly, how could you do that!"
She was speechless. She knew it was wrong to look in my sketch pad. It didn't make me feel any less guilty for lying to her, but it made me feel a little better knowing she messed up, too. I felt like the worst friend in the world. I looked back at Freddie.
"I can't believe you two." She shook her head, and ran up the stairs. Spencer ran after her.
"That went even worse than I thought." Freddie walked up to me. We both knew that things weren't going good. I sighed, realizing no one wanted us together. After hating each other for so long, when I finally wanted him, it wasn't okay.
"We can't be together, can we?" I looked down at the floor, "Your mom's upset, Spencer's upset, Carly's upset. Everyone in school is going to freak out, your teachers are going to get mad, I'll get made fun of for being with a geek."
"Sam, don't look at it that way... Please." He touched my hand but I pulled it away. "Sam!"
"I love you Freddie," I shrugged, "But this isn't going to work out."
"Are you breaking up with me? We just agreed that we'd work out, and we said we wouldn't break up! Literally a few minutes ago, Sam. Please don't..." I felt a tear roll down my cheek as he tried to hug me. I pushed him away again.
"Stop." I walked away, "Putting our happiness first instead of our friendship with Carly is fucked up."
"But Sam..." He followed me. I took my sketch pad out of my bag and handed it to him. "Why are you giving me this?"
"So that I won't stare at the pages every night anymore." I put my bag on my shoulder, "I love you. I'm sorry this happened." I left the apartment. I walked down the hall and left.
I cried the entire walk home. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to break up with him but I sucked at dealing with pressure. I couldn't explain to myself my feelings. I just knew I felt sad and angry, and I wanted Freddie and for everyone else to be happy about us being together. I slammed the door when I got home and sat down at the kitchen table, wiping my eyes. I didn't expect my mom to be home for a couple more hours, but there she was, with a bucket of icecream.
"What's wrong, kid?" She asked, sitting across from me. "I've never seen you cry like this."
"Fucking Freddie!" I shouted, "And Carly. And everything."
"What's going on with Freddie and Carly?" She got a second spoon and handed it to me. "You never tell me things. I wanna listen."
"I love Freddie, Mom. A lot." I laughed, "...a lot."
"You're just a kid. You don't know what love is yet."
"Yeah I do. I know I do." I looked away.
"Okay, what's the problem though? He doesn't love you back?" She asked.
"The problem is that he does love me back." I rested my head on the table, "no one wants us to be together though. I just dumped him because of that."
"You gotta learn to not give a fuck what anyone else thinks." She laughed, "No one can tell you how to live your life. If Carly was really your best friend, she'd be happy for you. All of your friends should be happy for you. Sweetheart, live your life. Please. You've found a guy at this age that wants to be with you, don't let it go. Don't end up like me, hopping from one guy to another, even some women now and then. Stick with him, and forget about everyone else. Because at the end of your life, who's going to be there for you? Your husband. When you don't feel like changing a diaper, who's gonna do it for you? Your husband. Don't end up like me, please, letting your kids sleep in poop-"
"Is that why Melanie has that nasty disease?"
"That's not what we're talking about. The point is, at some time or another, Carly's gonna have her own family to deal with. She's not always going to be there for you to fall back on. But Freddie? He will be. I know that, because no other guy would waste their time on you unless they were serious about being with you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I laughed.
"You're a lot to deal with, Sammy." She messed up my hair, and I smiled.
I still didn't know what I was gonna do, but I knew that I needed to forget about everyone else's opinion. But now that I'd broken up with him, how could I convince him to get back with me so quickly? I needed to fix things with Carly first, before anything. Sleeping that night was horribly hard.
Walking up to Carly the next morning was awkward.
"Hey." She mumbled, "I heard what happened with Freddie."
"Yeah." I shrugged, "Oh well, shit happens, you know? Things don't always go how you plan."
"Was it because of me?"
"No shit." I laughed, getting a bag of chips from my locker, "You're my best friend. If you don't want me with him, I won't be with him."
"It's not that I didn't want you with him!" She shook her head, "I just didn't want you to lie to me."
"I'm sorry, Carly." I sighed, "what's done is done, though."
"He has to take you back." She looked over at him talking to his other friends across the hall, "There he is now, go talk to him about it."
"Carly, no-"
"FREDDIE!" Carly shouted, and he looked over at us. She waved for him to come over.
"What's up? Did you guys make up?" When our eyes met, my heart sunk.
"Yeah. Sort of." I shrugged.
"So, will you go back out with Sam?" She smiled big, "Now that it's not behind my back, I'm totally okay with it!"
"No," he shook his head, "I don't need her dumping me again because my mom doesn't approve. If I cared about my mom's approval, I wouldn't even hang out with her."
"Freddie..." I looked away.
"Freddie!" Carly screamed, shoving him, "It's all my fault! I messed everything up between you two, please!"
"You're not the one who threw away the 'biggest thing to ever happen to her'. Sam is." He started to walk away and I didn't have the guts to follow him. Everything my mom said went through my head, and not one piece of her advice covered what to do if he didn't want me back. I started crying. Again.
"Sam, Sam, oh, Sam, no don't cry." Carly tried to hug me. I just walked away, and left school. I walked straight home to find my mom sleeping on the couch. I sat on the floor and stared at her, begging for her to wake up. When she finally did, she stared at me, confused.
"He didn't want you back?"
I shook my head and the tears started pouring down my cheeks again. She quickly hugged me, and I broke down in her arms, "What do I do, Mom?"
"Well, usually, all you have to do is take your shirt off to get a guy to stay. But, I don't need you getting pregnant like I did, so, avoid that."
"Please say something useful now." I wiped my eyes.
"Maybe the reason that guys always left me is because I was never any good at talking to them about my feelings."
"But, but Mom." I sighed, "I already told him how I felt."
"Then I dunno what to tell you, kiddo."
I didn't do anything for a while. I sat in my room mostly, I didn't go to Carly's and I didn't talk at school. I didn't even draw. Then one day, the day we had a test in science, Freddie didn't show up to class. That was strange of him, so I got a little worried. I raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom, and started roaming the halls looking for him.
I walked up to the same closet him and I had been kissing the day of the last test. I opened the door and saw him sitting on the floor against the wall. I sat down next to him.
"Why are you here." I asked, looking at him.
"Why are you here?" He asked, looking back.
"I just knew you'd be here." I shrugged.
"I just kept thinking about what happened the last time we had a test in science, and I didn't feel like going to class and seeing you, because I knew I'd start crying or something." He laughed. "But I'm really happy you came and found me."
"I miss you." I put my head on his shoulder, "I miss you a lot."
"I miss you too, Sam. I'm sorry I've been being such a jerk. My mom doesn't even care if I'm with you anymore." He sighed, "Can't you not care what others think?"
"I don't anymore. I just want to be with you again."
"Promise that this time forever will really be forever?" He smiled cheesily at me, and I couldn't help but giggle.
"Promise."
"Then Sam Puckett, will you be my girlfriend again?"
"I will." I kissed him quickly, missing the feeling.
"Now let's go take that test!" He stood up and pulled me up, and we ran to science class.
"You mean so you can take it and I can copy." He opened the door for me, and smiled as we both sat down.
"Yup."
