A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to update my last chapter. In the meantime, I was working at chapter 9 and 10. So I guess I don't have to be too sorry ;-).
I still don't own Twilight *argh*.
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Recently in After Dark: EmPOV
I wouldn't do that to Bella. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I would stop hiding. Tomorrow, I would make myself visible.
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Chapter 9 – (untitled) – Bella's POV
I woke up from something tickling my nose. I peeked one eye open, just to see a bronze furry ass only inches from my face. Damn cat. I muttered something unintelligible while sitting up and rubbing my eyes.
She didn't care and continued clawing my tighs through the comforter. "Get off me", I muttered, shooing her away. She really should know by now I was grumpy in the morning.
As my feet hit the ground, a sharp pain shot up my legs and I winced, falling back on my bed. That really hurt. I checked my feet.
They were bandaged almost professionally.
Glass. Something about glass.
But as my eyes searched the floor, I couldn't see anything to prove my angry outburst. Kitty was sitting there, waiting expectantly for food. Even she wasn't stupid enough to sit happily in shards.
Wow. I couldn't even remember cleaning up or bandaging myself. I was quite impressed I had managed these tasks fully tanked.
Then I did remember I hadn't been that drunk when I came back this morning. That I quit working way too early.
Then I remembered that I hadn't been stumbling and swaying, but running home, holding up my apron like some gothic princess, totally dressed in black, so I wouldn't step on it.
And then I remembered what I had run from.
A wave of dizziness hit me and I smacked my face, punishing my stupidity. I had been running from a ghost. A hallucination. An illusion. A nice customer who had just wanted to help me. Whatever.
I had freaked out in front of my colleagues and regular customers.
I had left the bar in the middle of my shift without telling anyone, although I was quite sure Thomas had seen me leaving. I had left my jacket and my purse in the locker. Almost all my belongings were in this locker at my workplace – which I probably even didn't have anymore.
Great. This is really great. I had outdone myself this time.
I limped to the kitchen to get some cat's food. The cat didn't make the task easier, rubbing herself against my legs while I tried to keep my balance on my bandaged toes.
As I limped back to put the food away, my eyes fell on my table. There stood my purse, and my jacket was hanging over the chair. I checked the contents and sighed happily as I found my wallet and my cell phone. I had seven missed calls and four text messages, all from Rebecca. I didn't dare to check them. I couldn't stand yelling before lunch time.
I checked the time and frowned. Lunch time was already over. And I was hungry.
I opened my wallet, already knowing I wouldn't find anything interesting in there. I was in serious need of some food.
I made my way to the fridge, bracing myself against the disappointed feeling I would get opening it. What would make my stomach happier, pasta leftovers from Thursday, watery orange juice or still water?
I opened the fridge, peeked inside and shut it immediately, blinking furiously. I checked my breath by blowing some air into my hands and sniffing it. No alcohol. So I wasn't drunk. Maybe I was on drugs? Maybe I was hallucinating again?
I opened the door again, my mouth watering at the sight. My fridge was fully stocked on – everything. Meat, fruits, vegetables, juice, soda, salad, eggs, milk. Just EVERYTHING.
I must have been suffering some serious case of amnesia. I couldn't remember hurting and bandaging myself. I couldn't remember cleaning up the mess. I couldn't remember going grocery shopping. My mind was totally blank. And besides my stinging feet and the rumbling stomach, I felt great. Like I had enjoyed long hours of sleep.
I opened the cupboards and was surprised to find them also fully stocked with pasta, rice, tea, canned food and even some goodies for Kitty.
Holy crow! What's going on? Was this some kind of sick joke?
Maybe I had lost some days and my body had been working on autopilot. Maybe I was back in my zombie state. Maybe I had tripped at work again and come out with some severe head trauma. Maybe my short-term memory was damaged for good now. Maybe Renee had visited me, but thanks to my brain damage, I forgot all of it. Maybe this was some strange flashback from my last trip. Maybe I had overdosed on my little yellow pills. Maybe I had been drinking so much the last few days I had finally passed out. Maybe this wasn't real. Maybe I was just dreaming while lying in my own vomit. Wouldn't be the first time.
I shuddered.
My stomach rumbled again. Hungry. No way I was going to waste this food in front of me, no matter if it was real or not.
*****
After eating a large meal that consisted of breakfast, lunch and dinner at once, I leaned back and patted my stomach, sighing happily. It almost hurt, I was so full. I wasn't used eating these large amounts of food.
I noticed my brain was working much better now. The fact that I couldn't find anything alcoholic in the house disappointed me, but led me to the conclusion I haven't been the one doing the shopping. Of course not. My paycheck wasn't due until next week and I still had to pay my rent for this month.
I didn't have much contact to other people. The only possibility was Rebecca. Maybe she had been so angry she came over to tell me I was fired in person. Then she had found me unconscious on the floor or sleeping in the bathroom, or – how embarrassing – hanging over the toilet. Maybe she had shoved me back to bed and went to get some food so she wouldn't feel too bad when she was coming back to tell me a second time I was fired, only this time I was able to get the message.
This was bad.
I grabbed my cell and checked the messages. They were all filled with worries and questions. No angry yelling, almost no f-word and no mentioning of firing me.
Hm. Interesting. And honestly, I couldn't imagine her getting me off the floor and bandaging my cuts. She just wasn't the motherly helping type.
Deep in thought, I scratched my left foot and noticed some blood had leaked through the gauzes.
I would have to take care of it.
*****
I felt still good, but already tired again as I limped out of the bathroom in my nice and shiny bandages, grabbing my cell from the table, heading towards the bed and sitting down.
Wow. I had been awake for three hours now and I was ready to fall asleep again. Weird.
The idea of a short nap was really tempting. But life is a bitch, and I didn't believe I would be so lucky to get another few hours of satisfying sleep.
Not to forget I had to visit Rebecca to apologize for my rude behavior and to beg her not to fire me. Hm. Would she be flattered if I just fell on my knees in front of her? Should I call her at home? Or should I just start my shift tonight as if nothing had happened?
I sighed. Maybe I just should text her to say I was sick. I wouldn't even have to lie much. I mean, it would be a bit difficult to work with my feet cut open and all.
My eyes fell on my cell phone. I had a new text message.
Hope you liked the food. Already told your boss you're not coming to work. Stay home, I'll come over at 8. Em.
What the…? I dropped the cell as if I had been burnt by it. My hands were shaking. I took a deep breath, then another one, and another one, trying to calm down. Everything's fine, I assured myself, rubbing my temples. Everything's fine. Just a stupid joke. Or a mistake. Maybe some Emily girl had sent the message to the wrong number.
Everything's fine, I chanted. But I didn't feel fine. I felt awful. My head was pounding and my stomach felt I felt suddenly hot and dizzy.
I almost didn't make it to the toilet.
*****
I paced in circles, not stopping as I started to feel a little dizzy. I swear if I would do this for another few hours, you would see a faint imprint on the floor. But I didn't stop.
I had actually considered running away, but assured myself I was behaving ridiculously. Nothing was going to happen. No one would show up. I had received a text message that wasn't meant for me. Just coincidence. By the way, running away would get a bit complicated, even if I had to.
At 8pm sharp, there was a knock at my door. I ignored it, pacing further. Must have been someone knocking at the wrong door for the wrong apartment.
Then, it knocked again. "Bella, open the door. I know you're in here", a deep, velvety voice spoke.
I froze for a few seconds before I got in motion again. I'm not here, I chanted, pacing back and forth like an animal in a cage. I'm not here.
"Stop walking around, you will hurt your feet", he chided me.
I'm not here, I chanted, frozen in place, my eyes closed, covering my ears like children do pretending something's not there when you can't hear or you can't see it.
"I know you're in there. I can hear your breathing", the smooth voice informed me.
I stopped it.
"Erm… I can still hear you heartbeat?" He sounded annoyed.
Well, that was going to be a bit difficult.
Suddenly, my door burst open. "Would you please stop this crap?" a loud voice boomed all over the room.
I wanted to run and lock myself in the bathroom, but I couldn't move. It was really him. He was there. Was he? Or not? I couldn't stop staring. He looked so… real. I almost wanted to touch him to see what would happen. Maybe he would vanish into smoke? Or disappear with a loud popping noise?
He still looked stunning. Every detail was as perfect as I remembered. There were his familiar broad shoulders. There was his familiar brown, curly hair. He hadn't changed one bit. Although… there was this foreign expression on his face, a sternness I couldn't remember. And I couldn't stop staring at him.
"Say something", he said, almost begging.
"I'm not talking to you", I stuttered.
"What?"
"You're not… real."
"Of course I'm real!" He looked furious.
"You're just in illusion or something. Maybe you are a hallucination. Or I'm delusional. Whatever. You're not there." I shook my head. This wasn't making any sense.
"What??"
"Just… go", I shooed him away with a flick of my wrist like you want to get rid of some annoying mosquitoes.
"You're unbelieveable", he chuckled, coming towards me.
"No", I said. "Go away!" I felt myself panicking again.
"Bella", he said, hesitantly moving forward.
My eyes darted between the bathroom and the front door. I could still make it if I started running.
Suddenly, something big was hugging me, lifting me off my feet and squeezing the life out of me. I couldn't breathe.
"Bella! You don't know how much I missed you!" he sighed happily, spinning me around like a child.
Oh crap. Now I really had to admit myself to a mental hospital. I had severe visual, auditory AND tactile hallucinations. "Can't… breathe", I choked out before I started laughing manically while tears were flowing over my cheeks. It felt weird being hugged, even if it wasn't real. Outside of customers bumping accidentally into me, I hadn't made physical contact with other humans – well, other beings – in months. I couldn't even remember the last time I had shaken hands with someone. It felt… nice. It felt weird. I felt weird. Actually, the laughter was slowly turning into heartwrenching sobs. Oh crap. Could it get any worse?
Finally he released me gently, his gaze probing. "You okay?"
Why wouldn't I be okay? Everything was great. I was crazy. I wasn't only seeing vampire ex-boyfriends in random guys crossing my way, but also hallucinating ex-brothers visiting me at home. And I was actually talking to them. Well, if you're already crazy, then the last what you can do is doing it right. Right? "Not really. Actually, I think I'm coming down with something", I sniffled. Ha! That's the understatement of the year! It even may be incurable.
"You look… pale. And unhealthily thin", his eyes trailed over my body. "You lost a lot of weight. Did you eat something today?"
Great. I'm hallucinating my former big brother I haven't seen in three years visiting me, and all he can do is criticizing my look and my diet?
"I… I need to go to work", I stuttered, fishing for a pair of socks in my drawer, averting his gaze. It made me nervous, these piercing golden eyes.
"You don't have to. I already told Rebecca you're not coming to work the next two days."
Great. It's not like I really needed the money. I was fuming. I sat down on my bed, carefully pulling on my socks. Maybe if I ignored him, he would go away?
He seemed to sense I was pissed. Of course he would sense it. He and his stupid perfect senses. "I'm sorry I interfered", he apologized.
I stopped fiddling with my socks and looked up, surprised. A Cullen apologizing in front of me? And not even the one I wanted to apologize?
"It's just… you can't work like this", he gestured at my feet. "And… you were bleeding… so… and… there was no food in the fridge, so… and… I couldn't leave the mess on the floor, right? You could have… hurt yourself in the morning… and the cat… could have been hurt… there was glass everywhere… and…" He stopped.
Whoa. I had never seem Emmett so lost on words while actually saying so many of it. He was stuttering. My former overconfident vampire brother was stuttering. This was new.
Ok. Although the fact that Emmett still looked the same age kind of confirmed my theory of hallucinating, the fact he was stuttering didn't. I mean, vampires are perfect. I remembered them perfect. I wanted them back as perfect as I remembered them.
Damn. It seemed it was really him.
I noticed my hands were shaking slightly. I've always dreamed about getting them back. But I had never thought this would really happen. Wow. I couldn't think properly. I had always dreamed about it. Not it was happening and I wasn't prepared at all. I always wanted them to come back. Now they were back. And I didn't know if I really wanted them to be back or not. Because they would regret their decision to come back. They would be disgusted with me. They would leave as soon as possible.
I needed a drink. Now.
I grabbed my purse and my jacket. "Let's go", I said, dangling my keys.
"What?" he asked, looking confused.
"We're going out."
"Dressed like that?" he pointed at me.
"What's wrong with my appearance?" I growled. Not good enough after spending all these years with your beautiful vampire family and an even more beautiful, irresistible vampire girlfriend?
"I don't know. Maybe you should put on some shoes?" he chuckled.
Great. We had been reunited for five minutes and he was already laughing at my stupidity. Some things never change. But I had to admit he waited patiently as I akwardly pulled on my converse. It really hurt. But he never offered me any help nor did he try to lecture me about throwing glasses around.
The moment I had locked the door, he took the keys. "By the way, I'm driving", he grinned. Some things really never change.
*****
I was sitting in my favorite place, enjoying the cold, sweet burning liquid one after one. Every time I tossed a shot, I closed my eyes for a few seconds, feeling the fire trailing down and making me a bit happier than before. But him being right next to me, watching me, was bothering me to no end.
"What?" I asked. His staring was unnerving. "Do you want me to stop?" He had no fucking right to interfere with my drinking habits. No way he would make me feel guilty about it. I hadn't eaten enough the last few days, and I didn't feel well today after my emotional breakdown the night before. The alcohol was hitting me harder than usual. Great. More fun while drinking less.
"I'm not Edward", he mumbled, playing with the straw in the cocktail he would never drink.
The pain shot right through my heart. Stupid prick, I thought. I had succeeded not to think of him all day, and now he had ruined it. Thanks, Emmett. Never mention the E-word. It was forbidden territory.
Then I felt more pain as I realized how I wished HE was actually there. I didn't know how I would react when he would finally waltz in here.
Would I start hitting him, would I cry, would I beg him to take me back? Would he laugh at me and walk away, would he apologize what he had done to me and then walk away, would he tell me he had finally found his soulmate and walk away? Would I try to hold him back, clutching at his feet, lying on the floor, sobbing all the time? Would I jump him, peppering kisses on his jaw like I always dreamed about? Would he fight me off? Would he be disgusted with what I had become?
Either way, I would behave like a complete idiot, but I wouldn't care. I just wanted him to be here with me.
No, Emmett was definitely not like him. I was quite surprised he didn't rip my drink from my hands while yanking me home. HE would have done something like that.
"Of course not. If you were him, you would take my drink away while telling me off and then you would make me go home, tucking me in with a chaste goodnight kiss on my forehead. Because you always know what's best for me", I retorted.
We sat in silence after that. He was watching me intently all the time, but after a few more shots and drinks, I was getting easy. He didn't even try to stop me from drinking. Strange. Not that I cared. He could sit there and stare at me as long as he wanted. I wouldn't feel guilty for drinking. I would just pretend he wasn't here. The more I was drinking, the easier to ignore him. Maybe he would get bored and leave me alone?
But why was he here, anyway? Had he been looking for me? Where were the others? Had something happened? Was HE somewhere near? Had HE sent Emmett to look for me? Suddenly, I noticed the blood rushing in my ears. Maybe they were all here… of course they would be somewhere near. They were a happy family, always sticking together. But I wouldn't ask about them. They didn't want to see me anyway, otherwise they would have already shown up. So why was Emmett here?
"I was wondering… How did you find me? Where are the others? And why did you even look for me? It's not that I'm that important."
He sighed. "I didn't look for you. I just wanted to have a drink and came to your bar", he said.
"A drink", I chuckled. Then, it hit me. I knew it! That son of a bitch! Oh, sorry Esme. No, not sorry Esme. You didn't look for me, either. "You're the big, good looking guy with the Bloody Mary!" I almost yelled.
"I guess I am", he grinned, showing all his perfect teeth.
"Of course", I growled, turning back to my lovely drink. "First he's leaving me, then he's stalking me, then he's trying to lecture me, then he wants to hear how clever and sexy he is." I got angry. "Stalker tendencies and trying to make me a better human isn't sexy. He should have warned you."
"I didn't look for you, I swear. I just happened to… stumble over you."
Oh great, guess that means you haven't missed me at all. Just like I thought.
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Reviews are better than Bella thinking she suffered some severe head trauma.
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Although the fact that Emmett still looked the same age only confirmed my theory of hallucinating, the fact he was stuttering didn't.
Hallucinations of people rarely change. Normally, they look the same over years, the same you remember it when you saw them the last time. Of course this fact isn't helpful for Bella for theory testing since vampires don't change with age. For further explanations, you should watch "Beautiful Mind" with Russell Crowe.
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Coming up next: Emmett's POV.
"What?" she bellowed. "Do you want me to stop drinking?" she chuckled. Of course I wanted her to stop. She was my little sister and drinking herself in a coma.
