A/N: Here we go! Chapter 9. This chapter is a bit longer than past ones and I feel that the chapters to come might end up going back to the original length of 25000-3000 words per chapter but I'm not too sure yet. Anyway here's chapter 9 and I hope you enjoy!

Broken Bits of Glass

Author: Booknookgurl

Rated: T

Warnings:

For the second time in a month Chris woke up not knowing where he was. This time though he wasn't lying in a hospital bed, he was back at home in his room, wrapped in a cocoon of blue bed sheets. For a moment the hazel eyed teen stared at the wall across from him, trying to remember how he got there and why he felt like he'd run a marathon. Then he remembered. Trent. Trent was gone. He left and he wasn't coming back. Chris closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath but his lungs felt like they were collapsing and his breathing came out staggered and painful. All Chris could think was 'why?' Why had his brother- No, he couldn't think about it, he couldn't believe that Trent would do something like this. Chris knew his brother was hurting, that he'd all but given up, but he didn't think it was this bad. He never thought Trent would…

Chris was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of his door creaking open. He looked up to see his mom standing in the doorway, exhaustion, grief, and worry etched onto the lines of her face. Chris shook his head and looked back at the wall, concentrating on a dried paint drip, hoping his mom would just leave him alone. "Chris." She said softly, moving farther into the room. "Trent…" He replied quietly, wanting to say everything and say nothing at the same time. "I know baby…" Mrs. Stewart replied as Chris felt his mattress sink slightly under her weight. He wanted to say that she didn't know, that she had no idea. "Leave me alone." Chris said quietly, still staring at the paint drip. "Chris." Mrs. Stewart replied, her voice a mixture of worry and stern anger. "Please." Chris added, this time more firmly. He didn't want to have to deal with anyone right now.

Chris listened as his mother exited the room, closing the door with a soft thud before rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. His mind was going a mile a minute and he couldn't hold down one thought and examine it, all his thoughts were crashing and colliding and making him feel even worse than he already felt. He didn't feel anything though, not a concrete emotion at least. He felt empty and like he had a killer headache but the more he thought about it the more Chris realized that he didn't feel the emotions he though were supposed to be felt after someone close to them died. He should feel upset, angry, betrayed, something, anything, but all Chris felt was numb.

He struggled through the day, only half listening when people paid sympathy visits and offered words that were supposed to be comforting but did nothing but make Chris want to scream at everyone to leave him alone. Matt and Cam stopped by briefly but, after Chris threw a book at Cam's head, they left hurriedly, exchanging a few words with Mrs. Stewart before disappearing out the door. The day was made even worse when Ms. Burton showed up, her face red and her expression one of nothing but anguish. "He left a note." She explained softly after Mrs. Stewart had fixed her a cup of tea and sat her down on the couch. Chris felt himself float away from the conversation after this was said. He didn't want to think about any of it anymore. It wasn't until Ms. Burton turned to him and said "He wrote one for you." That Chris tuned into the conversation fully.

"What do you mean?" Chris asked warily and Ms. Burton shook her head, her entire body shaking slightly. "A letter, or something. I didn't open it." She replied, fishing through her bag and pulling out a Scooby Doo envelope. Chris swallowed as he looked at it. He remembered that envelope. He had gotten it at Halloween when he was ten. A man had been handing out envelopes with little certificates for 75% off an ice cream at Scoops and both Chris and Trent had gotten one. Chris had gotten the Scooby Doo one though and, at the time, Trent loved Scooby Doo. After almost half an hour of arguing Chris traded his Scooby Doo envelope for Trent's Buzz Lightyear one. After that neither envelope was seen again, until now. Chris nodded slowly and took the envelope from Ms. Burton's hand before looking up at his mom. "I'm going to go to my room." He declared before standing up and leaving. As soon as he reached his bedroom Chris tossed the envelope aside, not wanting to read his brother's goodbyes, he didn't think he'd be able to, he wanted to stay numb.

The numbness continued and Chris learned to deal with it, live with it. He actually thought it might have helped with dealing with everything else. If he hadn't been numb he probably would have spent the majority of his time crying in a ball, the way Ms. Burton was spending her days. The woman was a mess. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep, all she ever seemed to do was cry. For a while she stayed with Chris and his mom but seeing the carbon copy of her son staring at her day after day proved to be too much and eventually Ms. Burton decided it was best for everyone if she went back to her own home. Despite moving back into her own home Mrs. Stewart made sure to visit Ms. Burton as often as she could on the days leading up to her son's funeral. "I don't like her alone in that house." She had whispered to her ex-husband late one night.

The funeral was a small one, not too fancy but just fancy enough that Trent would have scoffed at the formalness of it all. Chris felt the numbness spread as he carried the casket, trying not to think of whose body was resting on his shoulders. He thought, if he distanced himself, he wouldn't hurt as much, the clawing in his belly would stop, and it almost did. He didn't feel anything until he watched the shiny wooden coffin being lowered into the ground. Chris looked up at the people surrounding the grave site. It was mostly family with a few people Trent had known from either school or the hospital scattered throughout the small crowd. Chris wondered how Trent had known these other people. He was just about to make a mental note to ask his twin later when his brain suddenly halted and he realized, once again, that he wouldn't be able to. He'd never get to ask Trent where he met the pretty girl with the pixie haircut, or the small boy holding his mother's hand while picking his nose forlornly. He'd never get to beat Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood with him or finally learn how to longboard with him. Any ideas about the future that had once been were now gone, shattered, dead.

As Chris realized this he felt the numbness he'd created over the past few days begin to break down. All the grief and loneliness he'd been pushing aside began to seep into him and Chris did what he did best, he ran. No one tried to stop him as he pushed through the small crowd and made his way away from the burial site. He couldn't look at it any more, he couldn't watch them do bury his brother. Chris continued to run until he reached the car, yanking the door open as hard as he could Chris tried to hold himself together. He had to breathe, he had to stay calm. He couldn't stay calm though. Trent was dead. Trent had killed himself and had left him alone to deal with the aftermath. As soon as the car door was once again closed Chris lost it, screaming and crying until his throat was sore. He was sure he looked like a lunatic but he didn't care, how could he care when his twin was locked in a box being covered with dirt?

By the time Chris had settled down it was too late to go back to the rest of the group so he sat in the car and waited for his mom. "That was very stupid of you, running off like that." She stated as soon as she got into the car. Chris shook his head and looked out the window. "Do you know how much of a scene you caused? How upset you made Ms. Burton?" she added angrily as the car roared to life. "Fuck off mom." Chris exclaimed, too tired and irritated to care what he was saying. Trent was gone and things wouldn't be the same again. "Don't you dare talk to me like that Chris." Mrs. Stewart replied, her voice shaking and Chris shrugged. "I'll speak the way I want." He replied before tuning out whatever his mother had to say about his behavior.

The car ride home, and the week that followed the funeral, was silent. Mrs. Stewart spent most of her time consoling Ms. Burton and Chris spent most of his time locked away in his room, staring at the still unopened Scooby Doo envelope or drowning himself in video games. He hardly went out unless he was forced to. Everything reminded him of Trent. The park down the street, the grocery store, the old dented stop sign. Where ever Chris went Trent's memory seemed to follow. By the end of the week Chris felt lost and a bit overwhelmed. It came as both a pleasant surprise and a bit of a shock when Mr. Stewart showed up on the front doorstep late Friday evening. "Um, hey Dad, what are you doing here?" Chris asked as he let his father into the house. "Your mother and I… have to discuss a few things." He replied and Chris crossed his arms over his chest. "Like what?" he asked. It was obvious there was something his parents were hiding from him. There was a pause as Chris tried his best to stare down his dad but Mr. Stewart didn't waver, instead he turned to look around the house. "Where is Maddie?" Mr. Stewart asked as he turned back to his son. "She's in the kitchen…" Chris replied, suddenly feeling irritated. What was going on?

Chris watched as his dad made his way into the kitchen and followed suit a moment later. "Chris, go to your room." His mother barked out as soon as he entered the kitchen. Without another word Chris threw up his hands, turned on his heels, and made his way out of the kitchen and down to his room. He wanted to know what was happening but he knew that his mom and dad would be more than angry if they caught him eavesdropping. As he waited for his parents to be done discussing whatever it was they were discussing Chris studied his room. It had gotten messier over the past week or so, tidiness having been neglected along with many other basic chores. An empty cereal box lay against the far wall, a worn t-shirt was crumpled up on the window sill where it had been tossed after use, cables and game controllers covered the floor. Briefly Chris wondered if he should clean but pushed the idea aside once he lay eyes on the Scooby Doo envelope. Chris had been battling himself over if it should be opened ever since Ms. Burton had handed it to him. He wanted to know more than anything what Trent had written but opening it felt wrong. Opening the letter and reading what was written would mean that there was nothing left of Trent. Those words would be the last words Chris would ever receive from his twin and he wanted to keep them safe and sacred.

Chris continued to stare at the envelope sitting on his dresser until he heard footsteps on the stairs. "Chris?" His mom called out and Chis stood up off the bed and opened his door. "Are you guys ready to tell me what's going on?" He asked, wincing inwardly at how harsh he sounded. "Yes, come on upstairs." She replied, sounding defeated. Chris nodded and wordlessly followed his mom up the stairs and to the dining room table. The atmosphere in the room felt tense and Chris was immediately reminded of the "vanessa-vention" his family had organized only months ago. "Chris, are you alright?" Mr. Stewart asked, pulling Chris out of his thoughts. "Y-yeah." He stammered, pulling a chair out and sitting in it. "I just got distracted…" He explained looking between his parents. "So what's going on?" He asked, hoping the news wouldn't be as bad as the last time they had sat at the table together. It was when they had announced to Chris that they would be divorcing and Chris had thought his whole world was going to collapse.

"Your father and I have been talking…" Mrs. Stewart started, glancing between her son and her ex-husband nervously. "And we think it would be best if you moved in with him for a while." There was silence at the table as Chris let this information sink in. "Move in? With you and Daisy?" Chris asked, looking at his dad in disbelief. "Well, yes but there's more to it than that…" Mr. Stewart began, looking over at his ex-wife as if hoping she'd pick up the explanation. When she did not Mr. Stewart sighed and looked over at Chris. "We're moving to Paris." He added, his voice slow and deliberate. "Really? That's so cool!" Chris exclaimed, suddenly liking the idea of moving away from his hometown. "Really?" Mr. Stewart asked and Chris nodded before looking over at his mom. "I mean… if mom…" Mrs. Stewart shook her head with a small smile. "I was the one with the idea Chris. I just want you to be happy and I know this isn't the place for you right now, okay?" she said and Chris nodded. "So how is this happening?" He asked and Mr. Stewart smiled. "Well we'll start packing and after the wedding you, me, and Daisy will be flying to France. How does that sound?" Chris smiled for the first time in what felt like ages before nodding. "Sounds like a great idea." He replied and his parents smiled. "Well then, start packing." His mom said, a smile playing at her lips. "You're headed to Paris."

A/N 2: And Chris is officially headed to Paris! I think you're all starting to guess what'll happen there. I hope you enjoyed this (or sobbed the way I wanted to while writing it) and if you did leave a comment or favorite/follow! I won't be updating more than once a week considering the rate I'm going but we'll see... Until next time! \ii/