Author's Notes: Well, it's me again! I'm back from the last year with a crazy-long chapter to usher in the new year. A few notes about this chapter include a small warning: there is a lot of new information in this chapter, most of them about stuff to do with magic and stuff, and these things are all my own original ideas, so do not use them without giving me credit; it took me years to think some of these things up to the level they're at now, and it would really be fucked up if someone ripped me off. Similarly, if one of you see something in here that someone uses later on in their own story, tell me if they don't at least mention it isn't their original idea, but let me make the decision on whether or not to report them. Well, I don't want to keep you from this 20-or-more page chapter, so here ya go!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter? My idea? Yeah, and maybe I've got a battery in my ass too.
--
Saturday came all too quickly, and that meant that Stingchu's very first class was in session…although only 6 people and 2 non-people came. Harry, Ron and Hermione had, of course, known about the session the whole time, and Ginny had gotten wind of it as well through general association with the three. Neville Longbottom had found out by chance when Harry had mentioned it in passing to Hermione and Colin Creevey had followed Harry there and, as a result, was the only first-year student to come. Accordingly, there were only 6 seats, and 7 desks, one of them at the front, much like a teacher's desk at the front of the classroom. This one had a bowl filled with pieces of chalk in it. Ritten and Galaxy were also present, dozing on a windowsill, Ritten snuggling up to the chibi-dragon as a near-duplicate of his nap-mate. All in all, the room had the feel of a small ballroom, though it felt rather quiet and empty with so little people.
"Only 6, eh?" Stingchu remarked rather disappointedly. "What a shame – that means no one's interested in learning 'round these here parts." He shrugged, before turning to the blackboard of the otherwise vacant classroom and picking up a piece of chalk from the bowl.
He grinned at the six from behind his mask as he held the chalk up to them. "Looks like an ordinary piece of chalk, eh?" He asked, before tossing it to Neville "what do you think?" Neville examined it closely, turning it over and rubbing at the white residue it left on his fingers.
"W-well, I think it is…" He said quietly, blushing as he met Stingchu's disembodied, nigh-faceless stare.
"Bingo!" Stingchu replied, holding his hand out – Neville tossed it back. "This is, indeed, just a regular, dull-as-shit, plain ol' piece of 100, genuine chalk!" He said in an upbeat voice, almost like a salesman sponsoring his wares "but…" He turned to the board and hastily scrawled out a single word, underlining it twice "doesn't it seem like such a damn waste?" He asked "to have so much material spent on a lousy ol' writing utensil?"
"Reversing?" Hermione questioned "what's 'Reversing'?" He smiled at her pleasantly, placing the chalk in his palm. The air suddenly grew heavier, and the chalk began to dissolve, slowly breaking down into a small pile of powder. They stared at the small pile of chalk dust, amazed and dumbfounded.
"Reversing is the act of taking something, anything at all, and breaking it down into the individual ingredients it was originally made of, or into the liquids it was composed of in the case of things like mixed-flavor juices, or even gases in the case of such things as carbon dioxide."
"What's carbon dioxide?" Colin piped up. Stingchu sighed.
"While that is a very good question, Colin, it is for another lesson, and it might even take days to answer." The young boy seemed a bit frustrated… "You are welcome to stay behind after class if you want to learn more about it, though." That got him a smile.
"Er, Stingchu?" Ron asked, "what exactly is Reversing good for?" He cringed at the sharp look he was given "I mean, I can't see what a pile of powdery chalk is useful for…?" Stingchu was silent for a moment.
"Well, for one" he finally spoke up "if someone attacks you, throwing a fistful of powdered chalk in their face can stop them up short, and it won't harm them if you don't want to hurt them. You can also mix it into the sugar bowl for a good prank." Harry silently vowed those words would never make it to the Weasley twins' ears… "If you really get pissed, though, this chalk is made up of some stuff called calcium sulfate. If you separate that calcium sulfate stuff from the other stuff in the chalk, you've got yourself some powerful dust – you throw that in someone's face, and they'll be wheezing the next few days, and their eyes'll be awful pained. Their nose might even bleed."
The six Gryffindors were silent "and finally, if you mix this particular calcium sulfate with a bit of your spit and some magic" he held out his hand to Galaxy who spit into the pile, and then he closed his empty hand over the full. His hands momentarily glowed with a faint yellow color and when the glow had faded, he opened them and a clear, gelatinous liquid slowly dripped onto the floor. "Once again, however," he piped up as, like an acid, the liquid sizzled, eating through the stone at a remarkable rate "that is part of a process known as Infusion, and is a lesson for another day." The last of the acid was spent after it bore three inches into the floor. "Amazing, though, what you can do with chalk, inn'it?"
--
"Wait, how did you do that without a wand?" Hermione asked tightly, for once forgetting to raise her hand.
"I don't need one" he replied "I was raised to use my magic without the help of a wand" he finished, before Hermione's face got anymore confused. "However" he pulled out his own wand from its holster on his hip "I do know the incantation necessary for this technique." He pointed his wand at the chalk "Reverto!" He commanded, tapping the chalk harshly. Like before, the chalk dissolved into a small pile of powder. "Who would like to try first?"
Approximately 10 seconds later, all eyes were on Ron as he tapped his wand over and over on the chalk, harshly repeating the incantation. "Try a bit more brain-power, kid" Stingchu finally intoned. When Ron glared harshly, Stingchu demonstrated the wand movement again.
"REVERTO!!!" The chalk shuddered violently as Ron's wand all but smacked it, before exploding. When Harry finally cleared the chalk from his eyes, all he could see was white faces surrounding him, and a rather sheepish Ron.
"Yes, well…" Stingchu commented "that's one way to do it."
--
Halfway into the lesson, the rest had basically got it, more or less. Although Ginny, Colin and Neville still only managed to affect some of their chalk pieces, they were progressing nicely. So far, Harry was the only one who had managed it – even though Ron had that initial explosion down pat, he still had trouble with the normal way, and there were still large chunks in his piles. Hermione's pile had only dust and small pebbles.
Now, all this practice had filled the other bowl on the table with chalk dust. At first, it was unclear why Stingchu had kept all the dust…until… "Okay, now for lesson part two." He commented, picking up a piece of chalk and going to the blackboard again. He wrote quickly, before dropping the chalk into the dust bowl, quickly following with the remaining pieces of intact chalk. Within moments, the chalk had been turned to dust in the second bowl. On the board was a single word 'Advancing'.
--
He picked up a handful of dust, which sifted from his hand until only a small pile was left there. "Now, since I'm sure Hermione wants to know, Advancing is the process of taking a material in the most basic form, like chalk dust, and turning it into an end result." This time, he started with his wand.
"Procé!" He barked, his wand jabbing at the dust. Amazingly, the dust shifted at the sharp command, and within moments, there was a new piece of chalk in his hand, with some dust leftover on his hands. "Now, this is not limited just to one ingredient" he explained as they stared, dumbfounded, at the chalk he was waving around nonchalantly. "You can even use any basic, simple ingredients, like water and stone, and sort of 'mix' the two together to make something as basic as clay…but there's a catch."
They snapped to attention as he tossed the chalk into the empty bowl. "The more complex the item you want to make, the harder it is to make it. It places greater and greater stress on the mind and magical energy of the caster." He said simply "making a chair using the Advancing technique, for example, is much easier than creating a tree. A chair is simply wood slapped together with nails, or glue, or whatever, and is relatively small. Usually, you can just use a solid piece of wood for the job without all the nails-and-glue business. A tree is a living thing, though – you have to give it a trunk, and leaves, and roots, and you have to tunnel out a waterway leading to every part of the tree so that it can get all the nutrients it needs to those places. The leaves also need to be made, and those are numerous and delicate, and take a near Zen-like concentration if not an insane amount of energy, and then there's the matter of starting up its life cycle, which usually takes an even more insane amount of energy."
"So the Advancing technique is more practical when using for making objects, than living things?" Hermione's question was more of a sentence…
"For wizards and witches such as yourselves, animating anything is not easy, but that is another lesson for another day."
"Somehow" Harry intoned in a deadpan "I knew you were going to say that."
--
By the end of that class, everyone had made progress. They'd all rebuilt their chalk to varying extents, but they were exhausted by the time it was done. Even Harry was worn out, sweating slightly.
"Not bad" Stingchu said blandly "you six aren't so bad at letting your magics work" he continued "but it's still pretty inflexible."
"Inflexible?" Hermione asked.
"Magic Flexibility, Hermione, is a term among my country's institution to describe exactly how easily and skillfully a person can manipulate the magical energy from their cores." Hermione was wide-eyed, even as her quill scratched away. "If you want to learn more, however, you will have to wait and see if Colin has more questions about carbon dioxide." He sat on the edge of the large table "Other than that, I think I've given you enough material to work with until next week. That said, work on your Reversing and Advancing until you can do it easy – if you need more chalk, just come to me about it – and if anyone asks you to teach them, feel free. Well, it's been nice, but it's time to get most of your faces out of here, so class dismissed."
--
"Haven't talked to you since the first" Stingchu intoned, scaring the spit from one Aaron Montague. He watched, amused, as the young man regained his composure.
"Merlin! You almost gave me a heart attack!"
"Really? What kind?!" Aaron stared into the goggles of Stingchu's disguise for a very long time, before sighing helplessly.
"What do you want?"
"You didn't come to my class on Saturday" Stingchu said bluntly "any reason?" As if the first time was not enough, when Aaron opened his mouth to reply… "Any reasonable reason?" An irritated expression… "Alright, alright, go ahead…sheesh."
"Well, I'm in Slytherin" Aaron began lamely "and since I'm not on the best terms with my parents…well…and here, it's…it's hard to explain."
"Really?" Stingchu said in a monotone "I thought it was pretty simple. You've gone against the will of your entire family in order to escape a detrimental, controlled home environment, as well as the backwards traditions that went with the aristocracy you were born into. As a result, the entire aristocratic society, including the children of said society, has labeled you as a traitor, a defector and a heretic, and your classmates have therefore ostracized you. In order to not aggravate their loathing, you have isolated yourself from any of those that they are against." Aaron was gaping "pretty sound reasoning, actually…"
"I can't figure out whether you're that bloody, effing brilliant to be able to say things like that, or just mental enough to pass for it."
"Maybe just a large bit of both" he replied enigmatically "in any case; do you know what Reversing is?" He asked, holding up a piece of chalk.
--
Stingchu felt eyes on him constantly. It was nothing new – back in Omnivei, he was often the center of both positive and negative attention (especially all those times he'd gotten good and drunk), and after such constant exposure he no longer gave a shit. Well…kind of; he still had that infuriating twitch in the middle of his back… He had more important matters to deal with than any stalkers though – like what he was supposed to do about Harry's new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Gilderoy Lockhart.
The man was a complete liar, a public fraud, a disgrace to his species, and so utterly stupid that Stingchu was surprised he did not have some kind of mental condition. As October passed, Stingchu was increasingly more and more frustrated by the charlatan of a teacher and he was determined, by the time Halloween rolled around, to give him more than he bargained for when he'd signed up as a Hogwarts professor. Add to that the fact that he'd embarrassed and annoyed Harry several times since the start of term, there was no question of getting rid of the bastard!!! But first…
--
"A modern-day, pagan Halloween celebration?" Dumbledore asked dubiously "wouldn't it be a little late to begin preparing for such a thing?"
"Nah" Stingchu said loosely "I can do all the costumes for anyone who wants one, and I've already designed shapes for the decorations." He grinned wickedly "why not have something special for Halloween for once?"
--
Stingchu was an artist, Harry quickly discovered. He'd managed to find a way to imprint standard costume designs in a series of necklaces with differently-colored gems for each type, and altered them within seconds in the palm of his hand, privately designing each and every one. Inwardly, he thought he'd be bored, watching the emanchu alter the costumes for every single person one at a time, but he was too busy being amazed at the sheer skill of the emanchu, who held the gems only for moments, and performed the complex, tricky magic effortlessly, one after the other in quick succession.
As for his own, Harry eyed his black bauble curiously; Stingchu had given it to him as a surprise, and he had no idea what to expect…
--
The air was heavy with excitement as Halloween day arrived, rather peculiar for Hogwarts. Usually the only motivating factor would be the feast, but the entire event had been turned into a ball, complete with a dinner-and-dance. Stingchu had, somehow, even gotten The Weird Sisters booked for the night. The emanchu's efficiency was both as surprising and as frightening as his enthusiasm over the holiday, especially when he could be seen the day before, performing spells on certain parts of the castle both with and without his wand, or running and jumping through the halls at break-neck speed, performing extremely dangerous acrobatics as he flew over their heads…
--
Harry couldn't take the damn thing off. He'd put on the necklace and, unfortunately, his had been quite…interesting… He just took the time to thank god that he was in the bathroom, and that the door was locked as he began harshly muttering obscenities, pacing back and forth.
"Oi, Harry, are you alright in there?" Ron called, sounding curious. "Did you get yours mixed up with someone else's or something?"
"No, Ron, I just have to remind myself to effing kill Stingchu later."
"Hell, what did he do now?"
"Take a gander" Harry snapped as he opened the door and stepped out. Ron's were-wolf jaw dropped as he stared at Harry's costume. "The ruddy bastard is probably laughing himself crazy!!" Harry had been turned into an emanchu with black fur, white hair and green eyes. He was completely unrecognizable; not only was his scar hidden, but his eyes had slanted, his face elongated and his jaw sharpened, not to mention what the fur was doing to his face…
"Bloody hell, Harry"
Ron breathed "that's brilliant!" Harry's tail, which had been
cutting the air irritably, froze, and the wolfish black ears
flattened against his head.
"Wha-?" His jaw slightly open, he
exposed a pair of fangs.
"Well, first off, I don't even recognize you, and that'll be dead useful when we get to scaring the shorts off the others. Second, that's the most amazing ruddy costume I've ever seen!" He blinked at the emanchu-Harry.
"Did he say why he wanted you to have that one?"
"Er…" Harry blinked at his best friend "nope…"
--
Loud screams could be heard coming from around the corner, and three third-years barreled past the trio as they fled whatever monster had scared them this time. Hermione, dressed as a rather intelligent-looking were-cat, barely managed to dodge out of the way.
"Weeeeeee!!!!" Stingchu's voice, loud and obnoxious, sounded out as he turned the corner. He skidded to a stop, however, once he'd spotted the three Gryffindors, the giant white wolf head he was wearing over his own flying back to reveal his uncovered, maniacally grinning face. Ron and Hermione seemed unable to recognize him… "Hey guys, how d'you all like your costumes?"
"It's good" Harry said "but I'm still going to gut you tomorrow during sparring." Stingchu laughed raucously, hands crossing over his bare chest. Even though he and Harry were wearing the same outfit, his Karate-gi jacket was open, covered with attached beaded strings and his pants covered with rips. He was also wearing a snow-white wolf pelt that was absurdly large for his small stature, the arms tied around his shoulders, the legs dangling to almost touch the floor. His own tail was threaded into the hollow pelt's tail, making a bizarre, and very disturbing, mix of red and white.
"As if you can even come close enough" Stingchu grinned, scars stretching in a way that made Ron and Hermione flinch slightly. "Anyway, enjoy yourselves tonight, and Harry?" The smaller, more ticked off emanchu blinked up at him "you might want to go see Ginny…" With that, he bounded away, chasing after a group of first-years unfortunate enough to wander in his path. It would never be known if he was laughing at Harry, or at the resulting screams.
--
Harry didn't quite know what Stingchu had meant by 'go see Ginny'. All in all, he was ready to slaughter Stingchu…that is, after he stopped staring. Ginny had also been given a black necklace, but she'd retained her flaming red hair and gained curiously auburn-colored fur. They just stared at one another, a bit dumbfounded.
"That's you, right Ginny?"
"Harry?"
--
Stingchu was having A LOT of fun. Earlier that day, he'd been creating several time-delayed illusions that, when night fell, sprung up as heavy shadows, cobwebs and eerie mists. He, himself, was in rare form, even for himself, and had dressed in his father's old robe for the occasion, delighting in scared the shit out of every living and non-living being in Hogwarts. Although…he ran past the second floor girl's lavatory once, then twice, then a third time, before his curiosity got the better of him and he entered, pushing the skull up off his head.
His ears picked it up first; it was the sound of a draft, and as his nose caught up he discovered the smell of very old bones lingered on that very breeze. He had to wonder why he hadn't picked up on it before, but quickly reasoned out that he'd never actually gone past the door when it was open, and as nuts as he was, he wasn't just gonna walk into the ladies' room for no reason…though it had happened before. The point was moot, though; he was out-of-his-mind drunk at the time…
Striding up to the faucets as if walking up to a rather interesting-looking pot (AN: god, I was tired when I wrote this; why the fuck did I write 'pot'?), Stingchu stared and stared, until he found he didn't want to waste his time… With a single punch, the entire section of the bathroom was blown off its foundation, off the face of the Marauder's Map, hell off the face of the continent, and was sent straight through the opposing stone wall and beyond, sinking down to the lake's inky depths a few hundred yards out. He took only a moment to stare into the seemingly-endless hole the damage had left behind, before leaping into it with a maddening smile stretching his face.
--
Galaxy watched the miniature version of Harry's disguise run around the Great Hall, pure black fur shining under the candle light as the amethyst eyes twinkled merrily. The dragon himself remained perched upon a high-floating jack-o-lantern, his dignity intact as he watched over Ritten. He also muttered a prayer under his breath that Stingchu wasn't saving up for a major fright what with his sudden disappearance; god knew the fucking lunatic had done enough…
--
Stingchu's landing was destroyed by the explosive sneeze that had punctuated his preparations a moment before. Instead, he ended up landing face-first in a large pile of rat bones…not that he really minded… Standing up, munching idly on a small bone, he dusted himself off before grabbing up a handful of the small bones and snacking on them, rather like popcorn. Following the long corridor, he came to another door, this one with numerous carvings of snakes in it.
"Knock, knock!!" He exclaimed enthusiastically, before sending the door flying off his hinges and halfway down the long corridor with a powerful kick. "Well if they were gonna open the door, they're dead now…" He commented sarcastically to himself as his foot returned to the ground. Within, there was a huge chamber, long, dark and damp, lined with hundreds of carvings of serpents' heads. "Yeesh, the way this place is done up, you'd think someone had a fetish or something." He commented dryly "whoever was this decorator's bed-mate musta got a nasty surprise when they went all 'furry'…er, 'scaly' rather…"
He huffed, idly exploring the tunnel, until reaching the great stone statue of Salazar Slytherin. "Overcompensating, much?" Was Stingchu's only comment before he leaped right up to sit on the giant statue's head. After a moment of silence, he heard the scrape of scales on stones. "Eh?" He looked down at the large, bald head he was sitting on, before knocking on the hollowed space. "Well, what do you know? An airhead!" He replied lightly at the sound of the hollow space, suddenly quieting as an extremely irritable hiss sounded from within the stone head of Slytherin. "Oh?" Stingchu intoned sarcastically, smirking down at the head "pissed are we?"
Without a moment's warning, Stingchu's fist descended, and the entire statue shook as the head was cracked open like an egg. Another hiss, the anger in this one aggravated to rage, shone from the darkness, yellow eyes shining through the gloom, staring straight into Stingchu's eyes…
…and nothing happened. Well, yeah, Stingchu blinked a few times (mostly out of curiosity), but that was about it.
If the Basilisk was capable of intelligent thought, this would roughly be what it was thinking: 'what the fucking shit-on-a-cracker?!'
"Holy shit!" Stingchu finally exclaimed "what a fat-ass!!!" Many would wonder, later on, if the basilisk, as old as it was, had eventually become intelligent enough to form such intelligent thoughts as the one above, or even to understand human speech. Surely, the snake would be reasonably smart from the get-go, to be able to survive so long, regardless of its relative safety in the Chamber of Secrets. What was known only to Stingchu was the way the snake's eyes turned red, and how the simple comment had moved the 60 foot long behemoth of a snake to lunge…
--
"So why do you suppose he-?"
"We don't know!" Both Harry and Ginny replied, before exchanging unnerved expressions. "That's really freaky…" they blinked as they managed to say the exact same thing at the exact same time "okay, that's…" again.
"Maybe he's just got good intuition." Galaxy replied blankly as he landed on Harry's shoulder, a feather-light weight. "Perfect landing…" he muttered with a smug grin.
"What are you talking about?" Hermione's eyes, despite the fact that they were now slanted, had retained their hazel eye color.
"Look around" he explained "Harry and Ginny, Neville and that blond girl that gives me extra bacon every morning, that Cho girl and the pretty-boy from Hufflepuff. They've all got matching 'Yin-Yang' style, opposite-couples costumes. Just look at the four of you." He pointed at the respective pairs. He stared at their confused faces "uh, hello?" He gave them all a surprised grimace "werewolf-werecat, the only male-female emanchu pair in the room? He's a matchmaker. Damn good one too; he's one for the high courts, that's for sure." For a moment, Galaxy could not identify the cause behind the shaking in Harry's shoulders, until the voice, like acid, was squeezed from between clenched teeth.
"Stingchu, you-"
--
Just as Stingchu was about to breath a hot plume of fire into the snake's face, he felt it. As the condensed power began to flood up his windpipe, there was an enormous tingling in his nasal passages that swiftly turned into a vigorous tickling, rather like the sensation of dust being stuffed up the nose in handfuls. His eyes watered, if only momentarily, his entire upper body shuddering before…
"APCHI-HAAAAA!!!" The resultant flame was blown through both nose and mouth at approximately 100 miles per hour, right into the snake's waiting face. It recoiled with a screech as Stingchu fell back on his ass, wiping his nose, which was oozing trails of boiling snot that didn't seem to cause any pain at all to the emanchu. The snake, on the other hand, was gasping for breath, wheezing with pain every time air caressed its charred windpipe. "Snrrrk" was Stingchu's comment "must be Harry using those words I taught him last summer."
--
Indeed. If one thing could be said of the cursing tirade Harry managed to deliver in the Great Hall that night, it was that it sounded like the filthiest, dirtiest, trashiest sailor-accented locker-room communiqué ever delivered by a 12 year old in the presence of 11 year olds. Hell, even Dumbledore learned some new vocabulary. The entire room had gone silent, all eyes turned on one black-and-white emanchu, panting with exertion. Hey, it wasn't all that easy to scream obscenities that loudly for a straight two minutes.
For a moment, Harry was confused by the stares, and looked up at the absolutely mortified staff table. He then thought back on all the curses he'd just uttered, some of them hardly polite during bar-table brawls, and his white-furred cheeks turned a solid red.
"Oh, fuck me…"
--
"Hmmm….." Stingchu stared at the dead, slightly burnt serpent as its eyes continued shriveling, before dowsing the fire with some magically-conjured water. "What do I do with this, now?" He continued to stare "well, I could always eat it" he commented blankly "but it'd probably take forever to cook, even if the meat was proper." He snorted harshly, and some leftover, fiery boogers fell to the damp stone. "I'd skin it if I had my sword with me." Another snort and this time pure lava was sent to the floor.
He sat this way for quite a while, ears twitching this way and that as he thought about what to do… Suddenly, his face lit up, eyes glowing maniacally as a wicked, cruel, mischievous grin spread across his face. Fangs gleaming in the dimness of the Chamber of Secrets, he emitted a hiss of his own. "Yesssss, perfect……"
--
As McGonagall continued to reprimand Harry, she took no notice of the rather large shadow approaching the Great Hall. So too the others, who were too distracted to pay attention when the Boy-Who-Lived was being reprimanded for language of all things…
"I completely agree, Professor, he was completely out of line!" The giant snake commented, nodding approvingly. "If he's gonna insult someone using that kind of language, he should at least make sure the person's there to hear it. It's not nice to talk behind someone's back, you know." For a moment, everyone in the hall had gone still, staring, wide-eyed, at the giant serpent that had somehow found its way into the Great Hall of Hogwarts without catching the notice of the Professors. "What?"
As if a gun had been fired, the room erupted into chaos, screaming students fleeing the giant serpent as the professors drew their wands…well except for Lockhart, who fled under a table. The hall lit up with lights as stunning, banishing, disabling and cutting curses were sent flying for the snake. Harry just barely managed to drag Ginny out of the way and underneath one of the tables.
The snake, however, was not content to be a stationary target, and shot forward like quicksilver, weaving through the professors' spells, and darting vertically up the wall, looking at them in an upside-down position. Its one open eye, a startling blue pupil on black, glared at them madly as its mouth opened in a grin, long, curved fangs shining in the candlelight, the red, forked tongue wagging at them teasingly.
"It's Stingchu" Harry gasped, his hands still tight around Ginny's shoulders.
"What?!" She hissed at him, confused written across her face.
"Bloody hell, I'd know that face anywhere – I'm telling you, it's him!"
"You're right; that's his right eye" Galaxy commented, earning a piercing look from Hermione. Ritten just giggled, and then turned into a small, black snake, imitating his 'papa's' grin quite skillfully. "Don't do that!" The dragon hissed, flinching.
--(Several minutes earlier)
The snake was badly charred, yes, and the eyes were completely gone, yes, but that didn't mean it was beyond repair. That just meant he'd have to steer without depth perception, and it wasn't like that was new. All in all, the melding was pretty easy after he'd fixed the charred flesh; turned out the basilisk was not completely unintelligent and it only took a few moments to get a handle on the feel, though re-learning to slither took some awkward movements. In no time at all, Stingchu had successfully 'acquired' control of the dead snake, and rose up off the floor, feeling liquid power through his new form as he gazed out with his right eye, the only usable one in his current situation. It wasn't the best body he'd ever used, but it wasn't bad either.
It was easy to slither out the chamber and into the bathroom, where he quickly assessed the situation. After making sure that the halls were empty, he made a bee-line for the great hall, keeping to the shadows just in case…
--
Seeing another volley of spells headed for his face, Stingchu dropped all tension from the muscles keeping himself attached to the wall and fell, boneless, to the floor with a dull thud. He was up in a flash, however, making his way straight for the group. He playfully nipped their robes, tossing them about as he zoomed past them, his hissing laughter spreading through the room as the few spells that hit him bounced harmlessly off the snake's scales. Seems the snake was useful after all! He might even keep it!
The face of the battle changed, however, with Ritten's arrival on the scene…
"Papa! Papa!" Stingchu jerked around, his giant snake-head like a whip as he turned to the little, black form slithering toward him. His jaw dropped slightly as a disturbing snake-smile spread across his face. That was before he saw Snape turn towards the small black figure and…
"NO!!!" Like a slingshot, the viper lunged forward in a strike, and Stingchu emerged from its head like a thread unraveling from cloth, propelled forward and out of the snake at an amazing rate. He landed in a crouch over the small snake, the white wolf head covering his even as the basilisk's once more dead body fell lifelessly to the floor. The green light of the Killing Curse hit him, and Harry cried out angrily, the table blown backward as he tried to shake Ron off. That was before they realized that Stingchu was still alive.
He looked down at the little snake, grinning as he pulled the head off and scooped Ritten up in his hand. "Your first words!" Stingchu chirped happily, forked tongue licking the top of his son's scaly head. "Oh, I'm so proud!" Ritten grinned the same way Stingchu had before, and his papa giggled, positively tickled by the display. "What a clever little boy I have!" Stingchu cooed "now, I need you to do your daddy a little favor." He grinned sweetly, gentleness softening his features "go over to your brother and let daddy work, okay?"
"Okay, papa!" Ritten responded as an emanchu, before running off in a bee-line for Harry as Stingchu pulled the wolf head over his own once more.
"You" Stingchu's eyes were cold, his fangs hungry as he turned to Snape, all semblance of gentleness and sweet care gone from his features, which had tightened into etched stone. "You tried to murder my son" he growled darkly, savage promises in his red eye, a glow of madness in his blue. "You BASTARD!!" He roared, before leaping for the still-shocked Snape, claws ready and willing to taste blood.
--
"WEEEEE!!!" Diagon's sudden, explosive outburst was not even half as disturbing as the giggling that followed. The fact that it had suddenly punctuated his sleep was no less unsettling. One moment, he'd been sleeping peacefully, the next giggling like a hyperactive teenage girl. "He's reaaally angry!!" He yelled in a sing-song voice.
Sky-blue eyes blinked at the statement, confused, before realization lit them. "He's going to eat someone!" He cooed again "he's going to tear them up and eat-them!" The musical nuance to his voice was more than creepy, and her fur, a golden tan color, was starting to rise… "Tear them up, and spill their guts, drink their blood from a cup and cover them in claw-cuts!" Now he was rhyming too; never a good sign. Running an exasperated hand through lavender locks, she grabbed another of his personal wine bottles, opened it with a single claw, popped a silly straw in, and shoved it at him.
He accepted it gladly. "Tear them up, and spill their guts, drink their blood from a cup and cover them in claw-cuts!" He repeated himself after a lengthy slurp, smiling disturbingly. "And then he's gonna eat them!!"
--
It had been Snape's great fortune to discover that Stingchu wanted to quite slowly maim him, not kill instantly. It was the reason the bloodthirsty monster could be stopped in the first place; after the first, devastating punch, the other teachers had leaped into action, warding him off with curses just long enough to calm him and restore his senses…now all that remained was…
--
"No" Stingchu hissed dangerously, features twisted into a grimace of rage made all the worse by the scars stretching his face. "He doesn't get off that clean" he growled, his gaze making the normally stoic potions master twitch.
"Well, what would you propose we do?" Dumbledore asked blandly, giving the emanchu a somewhat placid smile.
"An arm or a leg for compensation might get you started." The emanchu deadpanned, giving them a nice look at his fangs.
"Y-You're…not serious?" Minerva McGonagall whispered, her posture stiff as stone. The others in the room, Harry included, were white in the face, though the young Vizor was first to speak up again.
"Actually, I'd be willing to guarantee the fact that he's completely serious." He said shakily "he actually wants Professor Snape's arm or leg for…'compensation'…"
"Yes" Stingchu affirmed, his snarl curling his lip away from a fang again. "You attacked my son, without the knowledge of my presence there; you were willing to go as far as to kill my little Zishiko as soon as my protection was absent and you had a good enough story prepared…"
"You were-"
"Hold your tongue before I take that as compensation!" Stingchu roared, his face mad beyond rage as flames licked from between his fangs "and don't you dare lie and say you knew I was there; you damn well knew I wasn't, and it was your golden opportunity to do as your employer asked…"
"Employer?" All whiteness was gone from McGonagall's face as she turned to the sallow potions professor, a momentary pause letting the rage build in her eyes. "Employer?!"
"Yes – I believe a Mr. Lucius Malfoy is rather infuriated with the defiance I managed to plant in his son. I believe he asked you to do whatever small thing you could think of, didn't he?" The wolf head was back up again "NOW PICK WHAT YOU WILL PART WITH!! LEGS OR ARMS ARE THE SAME TO ME!"
"Severus?" Dumbledore's face was at an all-time grave as he glared down at the dark-robed professor, who had a peculiar expression of anxiety written in his eyes. "I…see…" he finally muttered "I'm very disappointed in you, Severus…"
"Oh, don't hold your breath" Stingchu quipped "he's been dirty since forever and you know it, ya old bastard. Now choose before I do it for you."
"Isn't there any other way…?"
"No; I must receive something of value – his arm, his leg – and from only the dominant side. An eye might be enough to start with, or his tongue. He can also offer up one of his less important organs; a kidney perhaps?" Harry grimaced at the expression in his guardian's eyes; he recognized it from an old legend the emanchu had once told him of a cannibalistic god…
"This is madness!" Sprout breathed, her face pale.
"No, it's compensation."
"Isn't there a way that does not involve physical mutilation?" Dumbledore questioned hesitantly.
"Well…" Stingchu shifted uncomfortably "the only thing that would suffice is permission to run amok in his mind for one entrance." He looked uncomfortable at the thought "during which I may change his subconscious behavior in any way I deem necessary or fun." There was silence "but I'd much rather get something yummy to eat then dick around in someone's brain for a while."
"I knew it! That 'god' you were talking about was you!!"
"Eh? What do you mean?" He asked as the growl receded from his voice, banished as he turned to his other, unsuspecting son.
"The 'god' you told me about that went around devouring everybody!" Harry said angrily, pointing at the somewhat taller emanchu "that was you! I can't believe you ate that entire civilization!"
"Hey, they had it coming!" He exclaimed defensively "if you attack something, don't be surprised when it turns 'round and eats ya." He snorted "besides, most of them were stuck up assholes anyway, so…"
"Y-You're impossible!"
"No, he's just friggin' insane" Galaxy commented dully from the young Vizor's shoulder, sighing heavily "both socially and clinically."
"Papa cuckoo!!" Ritten commented, sitting on Stingchu's shoulder in a new phoenix form. Fawkes, staring at his fellow 'bird', chirped sweetly.
"Yes, Zishiko" Stingchu nodded "your papa is very, very cuckoo, and right now, he's still wondering which choice the bastard in black is gonna pick!" He gave Snape a pointed glare "you've got 'till I count to three, and then I'm gonna take your kidney out right here in front of everybody." Harry backed away from the ticking bomb slowly…
"This is outrageous!"
"One…"
"Albus, you cannot allow this!"
"This kind of barbaric behavior-!"
"How can you just-?!"
"Two…"
"What should be done?"
"Can't we offer you any other kind of compensation?!"
"Not in front of the students, for god's sake!"
"Thre-"
"My mind" Snape finally said. They all turned collectively to regard the potions professor, dumbfounded by the statement. "You may have my mind."
"Agreed" the grin Stingchu gave him was just a tad bit feral…
--
"So how does the mind-thing work, anyway?" Harry finally asked reluctantly as Stingchu fitted the last of his disguise into place.
"Eh? Mind-thingy? Oh, you mean the fuck-around I'm gonna be doin'?" Stingchu's profanity only made Harry sigh… "Well that all depends on what type of mental techniques you use."
"Mental techniques?"
"To keep it short, you got Energy-Based, Psychic and Astro-Based techniques for any type of mental usage." He explained "and mental usage is just a fancy way of sayin' 'doing things with your mind', like levitating stuff with telekinesis."
"So, telekinesis would be which of them?"
"Well that all depends kiddo; each of the three types has telekinesis; it's a very general term in mind usage."
"Yeah, but-"
"Is yer butt on fire, or somethin'?" The emanchu quipped irritably as he rifled through his backpack.
"My…butt?"
"I didn't think so – so since yer butt ain't on fire, yer not in a terrible hurry, or having an emergency (like, say, a flaming ass) distract you, so shut that cave you call a mouth and listen to the teacher." Harry flinched, before taking a seat on the nearby bed in Stingchu's room. "Telekinesis is the art of levitating any object, living or nonliving, organic, or nonorganic, through the art of mental usage. This means that it is found in all the branches of mental usage, however each has its own limits. Astro-Based, rather Astrological-Based, has the greatest limit to it; this type of telekinesis can only be employed on other living things, and those have to be sentient, self-aware and reasonably intelligent."
"That's…pretty limited…"
"Hey, Astros are a hell of a lot better at healing and defense than either of the others; telekinesis is more offensive than anything and so isn't too useful to Astros anyway since their job is to help out, not smack the shit out of an enemy." He had, so far, removed three rather suspicious-looking vials… "Now, Psychics are much better at telekinesis, although they're only limited to objects and non-sentient things. The most I've ever seen a psychic do with a living creature is lift a bunny about 2ft and then he had to stay in the Fatigue Ward for a week." He shook his head sympathetically.
He smiled wickedly, though. "Then again, give them an object and they're a deadly weapon. A spoon, a thread, a pillow – everything becomes a weapon to a psychic with half-way decent telekinetic ability. I had a psychic for an acquaintance once. Eventually he became the pioneer in psychic telekinesis – he took out an entire battalion of demons with a box of tissues, two paper clips and small grains of shattered glass…all in ten minutes. He was the best fuckin' psychic I ever met – killed himself after the woman he loved called him a monster – couldn't live with the shame. Fuckin' bitch – I made her pay for that one by myself and for free too. Least I owed him for being a decent Humel. Those types are usually stuck up assholes – the whole half-angel crap goin' to their heads an' all – and his death was just fucking messed up…"
"Um, Stingchu?" He blinked at the disturbed expressions on Harry's and Galaxy's faces.
"Hm? What? Did I ramble? Yep; I probably did judging by the looks on your faces. Sorry, where was I?"
"The Energy-Based?"
"Oh, right, well the Energy-Based are the best at telekinesis when it comes to variety; you want to move somethin' or someone without bustin' a sweat or breakin' yer back? Just get an Energy-Based Telekinetic to help out." He said enthusiastically, grinning comically as if advertising a product. "Though, there is a down-side. Energy-Based Telekinetics are bound by sight; they gotta see it if they wanna move it, but it uses up their energy somethin' awful. Most Energy-Based Telekinetics (or Emusers as they've so lovingly been dubbed) have to have energy reserves of extremely high levels, and are usually suffering of some kind of fatigue because of their high usage level, though they do have an advantage."
"An advantage?"
"Yep; you see, unlike most magic users, Emusers develop their energy reserves differently. They have several different reserves for each different magic, kind of like having a bag for each type of luggage, like one bag for clothes, one for jewelry, etc. Anyway, whenever they use a certain type of magic, like for example elemental magic, they draw from the energy reserve that works with elemental magic, but there's a condition; once they use a spell or technique, their reserves for that particular magic will be increased by one fourth of that spell's energy cost, which means-"
"That every time they use magic, the reserves get deeper?"
"Correct, Harry" Stingchu said, pleased "you've been paying attention. Now, can you tell me what else that means?"
"That they have to fill up that extra amount even more and…" he blinked "over time, that amount gets bigger, the refill gets slower, their reserves are never filled completely and they're always tired because of one depletion or another!"
"Wonderful – I think you've earned yourself a treat for tomorrow's spell session."
"Really?! Brilliant…"
"So which one is it?"
"Eh?" Stingchu looked to Galaxy.
"Which treatment will Snape be getting?"
"Well" Stingchu grinned cruelly "I have my own methods of intrusion. I am not bound to such rigid frames of magic, and the well of technique I draw from is much deeper…and the bottom is very, very dark…" A chill went up the metal column that acted as Galaxy's spine, and he tucked further into Harry's neck, tail curling around his owner's shoulder.
--
The threat had been made loosely, which revealed another aspect to his character. Though Stingchu had always been viewed as insane, violent and slightly dangerous to everyone that had met him so far, he'd never truly appeared as a murderer or monster to any of them. Their view was different now, after the snake, after his requests for 'compensation', and after he'd unveiled this new, berserk side of himself. This new threat only confirmed their new findings; he was a monster. With an airy tone and a casual step, he'd spoken his carefully-chosen words:
"If anyone comes into this room or does anythin' funny while I'm gonna, I'm gonna peel your skin off inch-by-inch over the course of 3 years, cut off a toe or finger every month, then slice up your genitals once all your skin is gone and strangle you to death with your own intestines, and then I'll take those very intestines and make them into a new pair of gloves. Oh, and by the way, I actuallycan keep you alive that long under those conditions and I'm great at multi-tasking, so I can take care of more than one person at a time. Plus, I'd like a few new sets of gloves and human intestines make such wonderful material…so, you know…feel free…♥"
--
Stuck in a room with the once more mysterious stranger, Snape backed away slightly, hoping he wouldn't have to fight Stingchu again. After all, he was an Occlumens; there was no way the deal would go through, something Stingchu knew from the start. What puzzled him now was what Stingchu's true intentions were…
"So, is your appearance really that which we saw earlier?"
"Do you mean the snake, the wolf, or the thing inside the wolf?" He wasn't surprised by the lack of cooperation, but then again, it gave him more time…
"The third" he replied, carefully circling himself towards Stingchu's left…only to find that Stingchu was mimicking him completely.
"That, my dear, was a masterful work of art made to disgust and horrify; after all, it was rather obvious that I wasn't a large wolf under that pelt, and I needed a base costume to match." He grinned from beneath his mask "but I suppose I should thank you, if it looks so realistic as to fool you. Did you like that trick with my voice? The one I don't need any special costume for?" He snickered at the shiver he sensed going up Snape's spine, tasting the air around the Vizor – it was heavy with fear and apprehension…both the emotions had spiked in facing the unknown.
"You know I am a Legillimens and an Occlumens?"
"That should be obvious, and I think you already knew the answer to that question."
"Then why agree to this?"
"Well, it has to do with Occlumency itself." Stingchu replied with a doting grin "you see, you're laboring under the assumption that your mind is secure through Occlumency, and as a result you're getting into a defensive battle position, anticipating a physical attack instead because you still think I want to kill you."
"You don't?"
"Oh, of course not; before, I would have taken your life for compensation since I was enraged over your blatant attack on my son. However now that my mind has cooled, I have been able to see a much more useful alternative to this situation that will help me protect my new Zishike. After all, your fingers are deeply entrenched in those wishing destruction down upon one of my sons, and who knows how long it will take the rest of them to go after my other son?"
"Your…sons?"
"Why, yes. Though only one of them knows it, Harry and Ritten are now my sons, whether they want me to see them that way or not."
"Is that why you're so intent on protecting him?"
"Of course – his safety is why I'm going to change your identity."
--
Snape had hardened his Occlumency shields into diamond, averting his eyes from Stingchu's goggles in an attempt to protect his mind…only…
'Did you honestly think that would work?' Snape's eyes snapped back to Stingchu's as he heard the voice in his head. 'If you did you're a damn fool. I wouldn't have agreed to this arrangement if I could not do as I wanted.'
"H-How?"
'The same way I can have an automatic mental defense system. I don't operate on such an archaic level as you…'
--
"Such simplicity…" Stingchu muttered in the dark corridor "everything's compartmentalized. This is gonna be frickin' boring. That's the problem with sane people. They make everything too easy, especially if they're neat, or intelligent, or smart." He strode away from the corridors, into a well-lit antechamber, looking to the door on the left labeled 'Archetypes' in neat print. "This is gonna be too easy" he groused angrily, walking through the supposedly walked door unhindered, like a ghost walking straight through a wall.
--
Stingchu closed the door to 'Arrogance', humming a light tune as he re-locked the door with a flourish, then wiping his extremely bloody hands on his bare chest, leaving long, wet trails of red on his yellow fur. The other Archetypes peeked out of their mysteriously opened doors, and Stingchu looked up. "Alright then, now that the main prick's out of the way permanently, who wants to steer now?"
The one nearest, a rather bitter-looking character dressed in Snape's customary black, raised his hand. "Who wants to co-steer?"
"I'll do it, mommy" one particularly smug-looking one from near the back quipped, his deep-green robes rustling. "About time someone else led this catamaran."
"Pessimism and Sarcasm? Not the most original, but it's always been a good combo…well then I got only one stipulation before I leave you to your own devices…"
"Yes, oh fearless leader?" Another quip from Sarcasm…
"You gotta cut off all association with Lord Moldy-butt (AN: I read this somewhere; props to the first person who thought of it!). He's too dangerous for anyone mortal on the planet, and he's after Harry to boot. Also, I don't care what the Dumb-bore says about 'necessary precautions'. If he confronts you about the reason you stopped your spy work and tries to convince you to continue it, just tell him I mentioned a disturbance in the ministry and something about a note written in blood. He'll get the picture and lay off…and then come after me. Fuck him, anyway – I can handle anything he thinks of." He turned away "well, I'm outie. See ya on the outside!" With that, he was back in his own body, looking down at an unconscious Snape.
--
Harry was woken up the next morning by a war cry, a wet slap across the face, and the smell of fish. Groggily, he forced his eyes opened, before another wet slap and the even stronger smell of fish startled him fully awake. Scrambling, he managed to find his glasses, and pull them hastily onto his face, just in time to see a fully-disguised Stingchu, his arm reared back, a large mackerel in hand. Harry ducked, the fish just barely missing the top of his head, as Stingchu yelled out a ridiculous war cry. "WHAT THE HELL!?!" Harry screamed as the mackerel descended again.
"POTATOES!!!" Was Stingchu's only reply as the fish landed on Harry's now empty pillow with a loud 'slap'. Harry himself had raced halfway across the room, not even noticing the other boys in the dormitory groggily waking up. "YOU!!!" Stingchu pointed at the anxious-looking Vizor "YOU HAVE ANGERED THE POTATOES!!! IT IS DEATH BY FISH FOR YOU,BLASPHEMER!!!"
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Harry screamed as a reply "HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY OFF YOUR NUT?!" Harry had to lunge to the side to avoid the fish that had been thrown his way in a bizarre imitation of a bowling ball.
"INSOLENCE!!!" Stingchu replied "NOW YOU INSULT THE MAJESTIC AUTHORITY OF THE LEEKS!!! YOU WILL SUFFER THE STING OF TWO FISH, HERETIC!!!" Harry, almost at the end of his rope, fled the room, Stingchu mere paces behind him with a cod and a tuna in hand, screaming another ridiculous war cry.
--
Finally managing (through some kind of insane luck) to shake Stingchu off his tail (figuratively speaking of course since he no longer had the costume on), Harry showered the smell of fish away, and then headed for McGonagall's office for detention, which could've ended worse. All in all, he spent only two hours of that Saturday morning helping neaten and sort books in the library before heading to lunch.
Before he could even reach the Great Hall, however… "YOU!!!" Harry groaned as he spun, looking frantically for the fish-wielding emanchu, who was pointing a carp at him now, his disguise mysteriously damp. What had he been doing…? "NOW THE ROYAL CARP SHALL TEACH YOU HUMILITY!!!" Harry ran as fast as humanly possible as the maniac rushed him, the rather large fish raised high above his head in an unexpectedly threatening manner.
"Why are you doing this to me?!" Harry screamed as he managed to careen around a corner instead of into a group of students.
"Take it like a man!" Stingchu replied as he leaped over the same group, eliciting several shocked protests.
"But I'm 12!!!"
"When my best friend was 12, he was using elemental magics to fight and kill other dragons 5 times his senior, you wuss!!!"
"Wait, what?!" Harry yelled, screeching to a stop. The next thing he knew, the 7 foot long carp had gotten him full in the face and he was sent to the floor, landing on his back. "You ( insert foule and colourful words here)!!!!" Harry snapped after wrestling the great fish off his face.
"Eh, I've been called worse." Stingchu said cheerily, before grabbing the fish by its tail, swinging it high above his head "NOW RUN, KNAVE!!!!"
"YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!" Harry screamed as, scrambling, he fled into the courtyard, dozens of eyes following his departure.
--
"Wow…" Stingchu commented, the carp's front end oozing gelatinous liquid to the ground as the full brunt of Harry's last string of insults was registered. He then sniffled a little. "I don't think I've ever been this touched…" he commented, dabbing at his now uncovered eyes with a handkerchief that had somehow appeared in his hand. "That's one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard…snrk-poot…" He rather comically cleared his nose after pulling his mask up, smiling at Harry in a pleased way.
"What the eff are you talking about?" Harry growled, his arms crossed over his chest. "Weren't you chasing me because of my foul language?"
"Nope; didn't you hear me? You angered the Potatoes of Wrath" he said in a deadpan as he pulled his mask off "and then you insulted the Majestic Authority of the Royal House of the Leeks."
"Yeah, yeah, and then the French fries of Upset, and the Silver, Halo-wearing, Impotent Turbans." He noticed the particular grin Stingchu was wearing… "Uh, Stingchu, is there, by chance, a reason that those last two turn into acronyms that spell out-?"
"Well, we're ready to begin, I think." The emanchu interrupted "I think this is a good place, don't you?"
"Huh?" Harry looked around, noticing the distortion that Stingchu's illusion had created "but this isn't our usual sparring spot…"
"Who said that we're gonna be sparring? Certainly not the Avocados of Surreal Spitting." He said jovially as he removed his trench coat.
"Um, Stingchu, doesn't that one spell out-?"
"You bet your nut-sack it does!"
--
Madam Pomfrey nearly had a stroke as Snape gave her a 'good morning' and a sarcastic grin. As it was, the absence of any sort of rigidity in his posture the previous night when he was brought in had set her off-balance.
"Any idea as to when I might leave?" He asked irritably – well at least that was the Snape she knew.
"We'll see Professor Snape – you suffered a mild concussion with that nasty little fall, but you might be well enough to leave today."
"I guess that's Medic for 'keep your bloody knickers on'."
"E-Excuse me?" Madam Pomfrey's jaw nearly hit the floor as she heard Snape's voice sound out 'knickers'.
"I believe I said: 'I guess that's Medic for-"
"Professor Severus Snape, there will be none of that in my hospital wing!!"
--
"Um, guys…?" Ron asked hesitantly.
"What is it Ron?" Hermione asked distractedly.
"Do you feel like something is very, very wrong today? Like something happened that goes against anything that's right in the world?"
"Well, Stingchu's still among the living, isn't he?" Galaxy quipped from between bites of bacon, his muzzle smearing with egg yolk.
"Well, you have a point, but…" now even Ritten had looked up at him "well, just a moment ago I was starving; you couldn't believe how hungry I was." Hermione snorted into her pumpkin juice "oi, that's not funny!"
"Just get the fuck on with it!" Galaxy snapped.
"Er…right, well just as I was about to grab some bacon, I suddenly wasn't hungry anymore…" Almost everyone who heard that statement turned to stare at one Ronald Bilius Weasley "it's almost like something really demented happened and…why is everyone staring at me?"
"I don't know, Ron" Galaxy said calmly, turning to the staring students "maybe THEY JUST WANT THEIR HEADS RIPPED OFF!!" Everyone who'd been staring immediately turned away from the group, minding their own business as Hermione finally stopped coughing on her juice.
"My word, Galaxy (cough), you're quite testy this morning."
"You try being woken up by a mackerel to the face and let's see you be pleasant." He growled menacingly.
"Was it Stingchu again, mate?"
"That fucking midget's gonna get his dick torn off before the day is out." The faces of most of the girls listening reddened as the faces of the boys paled.
"Er, no offense, mate but you aren't exactly big enough to pose much of a threat…" Ron managed, his face the color of paper.
"Exactly" Galaxy replied, giving Ron a nice view of his razor-sharp teeth "that means my target is on a closer level with me." A shiver went up the spine of every male in ear-shot.
--
"Today, I thought we'd do something a bit different" Stingchu said to the slightly larger group before him – Dean, Seamus, a rather short blond girl, Aaron and Athena (to Stingchu's delight) had joined them. "Follow me then, all of you."
Stingchu led them from the classroom, out into the courtyard and to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. "Now, before we continue, I'd like to say something to you all – a warning of sorts you might say." His posture went rigid then, his voice hardening. "If any of you start fucking around, I'm going to beat the shit out of you. This is not some cute little field trip, this is a potentially dangerous situation; do not touch anything in here unless I give you the okay, and stay away from all the animals, which includes but is not limited to anything that moves."
Most of them were cowering under the brunt of Stingchu's warning "additionally, stay in the group or I'll kill you. In this forest there are dangerous things. The centaurs will not hurt foals such as yourselves, well except for Aaron since he's fully-grown, but there are unicorns in here, and they are easily frightened and might kill you in an attempt to protect themselves. So again, keep close and don't fuck around, 'cause it could mean that I'm eating some human meat tonight…"
--
"I think you might have overdone it with that last part, mate" Harry whispered to the only slightly taller emanchu.
"Meh" he muttered back "better to hit 'em hard in the beginning so that you don't gotta bury someone's child later." Harry flinched at the comment.
"Good point…"
--
"Now, does anyone remember what I'd mentioned about Advancing and, as a result, creating complex objects like trees?"
"You mean how it's harder to create complex objects that are alive instead of non-living ones?" Hermione asked, her notes already opened in her lap from where she sat in the grass of the clearing.
"Yes, exactly" Stingchu said with a smile "now, can anyone besides Hermione tell me what this implies?"
"It means that trees are as defined and real as human beings?"
"Quite" Stingchu said "and your name was?"
"Luna Lovegood" she replied airily.
"What does that mean, though? That trees are people too?"
"Well, if you want to say it very simply, yes, trees are people too…but they're people that we can not speak to, just people we can understand." He grinned at their frustrated faces "if that doesn't explain it, maybe I should go into a bit more detail."
He stepped away from the group, before sitting down himself. "Now, I'm sure you all know where babies come from, so I'll skip that part and get right to the baby stage." He held out a hand, and an outline of the shape of a human baby, glowing a deep blue, floated above his hand. "This is how life independent of the womb begins; but even from the baby stage we have magical cores don't we?" A small yellow orb came to float in the center of the babe's chest "but we also have another kind of core in us – a much more important core from which our magical cores are replenished." The orb turned green "this is called the Spring of Life, or more commonly the Life Spring, and it exists in every single living thing that has ever been or ever will be, from wizards and witches, to trees, to the smallest of insects in the world. It exists not only in the birds and the trees, but in the earth itself, and the moon and the stars and all those places and things that have the seed of life, and life itself in them." He chuckled "I think I might have gotten a bit carried away there; 'scuse me for the poetry. Anyhow" he changed the image from the babe to a toddler "as you grow older, your body and your magical core begin to change based on your environment and experiences and, as a result, your Life Spring will change with you."
Here, the small outline grew steadily as Stingchu spoke, the two orbs, yellow and green, changed into different shapes, growing larger. "Now, if a person's life is harsh, and filled with danger, their magical cores will expand and grow to tremendous size along with their body" the outline and orb changed accordingly "and their Life Spring will flatten and narrow into a flat pane" it changed "this form is assumed in this case since it allows energy from the life spring to change into magic at the quickest speed possible."
The outline and orbs then shifted again "however, if the life in question is one of leisurely academics, then the body and magical core will be different" here, the body was very thin, and rather weak-looking, and the magical core a round disk, nothing like the swollen sphere from before. "However, the Life Spring will be enormous" here, the green orb became the swollen balloon "mirroring the untapped potential of the person in question."
"So, no two Life Springs are alike? Each person has a unique form of Life Spring and magical core, just as we each look unique from one another?"
"Correct, Hermione."
"But what does this have to do with trees?" Athena asked from the back, her clear voice attracting attention. "Erm…" She blushed a deep scarlet at the attention.
"Good question, Athena" Stingchu chuckled at the little 'eep' she emitted at the sound of her name. It appeared that she did not expect to be remembered… "As I said before, every living thing has a Life Spring and also their own type of magical core. This includes trees; however trees are much different from humans. Humans can go wherever they wish, and must find food to grow, but trees are so much more than that."
"What do you mean? Are trees smart?" Ron asked.
"I'm not sure, Ron" Stingchu answered "what is the definition of smart?"
"Someone who has shown a quick intelligence or ready mental capability" Hermione replied automatically.
"Eh! Wrong!" Stingchu immediately countered, grinning at her shocked face "there is no definition for smart – the word itself is meaningless as it applies to the entire universe – in the end it only applies to those capable of expressing them in the conventional ideal of intellectual thought."
"Er…what?" Colin stared up at the black goggles, completely befuddled "did anyone else get that?"
"What I'm saying is, the word 'smart' can only describe someone who thinks on the same basic level of a human, like when you're writing an essay on Herbology, most would think that Hermione will get the best marks in class because she is 'smart', but it's only sentences like that which are appropriate for the word."
"So, except for humans, and creatures that think similarly to humans, like goblins, there's no definition of 'smart', right?"
"Yes, Harry, very good." He cleared his throat "now, what I meant by 'trees are so much more than that' is the very nature of their lives" The human shape was gone, replaced by a seed with the two orbs inside. "At the beginning, the seed prepared to grow beneath the ground will use the water in the ground and the small bits of food within itself to grow up from beneath the earth." Here, the outline of the seed sprouted a stem and from that stem grew very thin, small branches covered with leaves. "Now, depending on the conditions around it, it might have trouble growing, or it will grow very easily."
"So if it had little sunlight or water, it might have a very hard time growing?"
"Correct, Aaron" Stingchu replied with a nod "now the interesting part about a tree's growth is that no matter what the conditions around it are, the tree's Life Spring will never change, only its magical core."
"Why?" Hermione asked "doesn't it need that energy from its Life Spring?"
"Oh, of course, but that energy is spent forming the tree – determining where branches and leaves will grow, how the rings of the tree shall grow, and how the roots shall spread. As it is, depending on how the tree's life is" he explained as the outline-tree grew "if it has trouble forming, its Life Spring will be depleted, but if it's injured or is not getting enough sunlight or water, its magical core will be depleted." He showed examples of both trees "and then you have those one-in-a-million trees" the outline changed again, this time with both orbs full and regular "the trees that grow and form unhindered, up and up and up" the top of the outline had gone so far that it could no longer be seen. "You see, it is the fact that the tree's Life Spring, potentially, might never be completely depleted, and that they hold unlimited potential to grow due to their ability to make their own food."
"What do you mean by 'a tree's Life Spring might never be completely depleted'?" Hermione asked "do you mean that a tree might never really die, just continue to grow if it is unhindered?"
"Exactly" Stingchu answered with a nod.
"T-That's, but…t-t-that's preposterous!" She stuttered "how could that be possible? Don't they eventually just run out?! How do they replenish their energy?!"
"That topic is a lesson for another day."
"You know, for a smart witch, you're a bit narrow-minded" Luna remarked, sending Hermione sputtering.
--
"Excuse me, Stingchu?"
"Yes, Aaron?"
"Though this is all quite fascinating" he commented "and I get how this similarity between humans and trees make trees, in a way, their own kind of being, I don't understand the importance of this knowledge, other than from a purely moral or philosophical view."
"Well, of course you don't" Stingchu replied "you're looking at this too much like Hermione would." Again, Hermione was sent sputtering.
"So…" Colin spoke up again "will learning all this teach us to talk to trees?"
"No" Stingchu answered "you can not talk to trees, but you can communicate with them."
"How?" Was the obvious question.
"With your magic" Stingchu answered Ron "and without your wands."
--
"What do ribbons have to do with all this?" Ron asked irritably, frowning.
"They'll help you differentiate between your tree and someone else's, but before that, I want you to make an observation about the trees around us." For a moment, there was a lot of confused staring, before Ron spoke up again.
"Uh, there aren't a lot of them, are there?"
"Exactly" Stingchu said with a grin "and this is exactly why we're here." He waved a hand around "all these trees have been harshly treated by both hard weather and cruel magic; there've been dark things and happenings in this part of the forest that haven't been kind to them and the poor dears have not been able to recover." Indeed, the trees were few and far apart, with several yards between each. Much of the ground was covered by small scars that indicated where some trees had been as well. It was like something had killed off almost the entire forest in that section. There were maybe 12 trees in view (if that) and the ground surrounding them was like a barren field with an edge of the lake just a few miles away.
"W-What do you mean by 'd-dark things'?" Collin was very afraid to ask…
"I mean things like that Lord Moldy-butt person-thingy." For a moment, there was dead silence in the clearing… "What?"
--
In the end, no one had been brave enough to say a thing about 'Lord Moldy-butt person-thingy', so they had each been given a white ribbon. "Now, I want you all to hold onto one end of your ribbons, and to concentrate very hard on your magic." Their eyes immediately closed "now, I want you all to imagine what it feels like to cast a spell, and the feeling you have when it leaves your hand and goes into your wand." He waited a few moments "now, try to produce the same effect, only with the ribbons and without a single definite spell in mind."
Harry's ribbon flashed, snapping the air, before turning a deep blue and lying still on the ground. He looked around to see a triumphant Ginny holding the end of a crimson red ribbon, a satisfied Hermione with an almost icy green in her hand, a smiling Luna holding the end of a ribbon the same whitish blonde as her hair and a content Aaron with the darkest green color Harry had ever seen. A small glow in the corner of his eye drew his attention to Dean, whose ribbon turned a curious mix of blue and violet.
Eventually the others had succeeded with their own ribbons: Ron's ribbon turned a blazing, nearly-obnoxious orange that reminded Harry of the Chudley Canons's team colors, while Neville's was a deep, but not dark purple. Collin's ribbon had turned into a blue not unlike the sky, Seamus had a muddy brick red, and Athena had an unbelievably pale pink ribbon in her hand. "Alright, then, does everyone have a color in their ribbon?"
He looked around carefully at them, before doing the same to his own ribbon, which turned black. "Now, this will be my tree" he stated, tying the ribbon loosely around the trunk of the tree in the center of the clearing, making a bow "no matter where I go in the world, if I try focusing on the ribbon, I will sense the direction it is in. The same goes for you and your ribbons; this is how you will be able to find the clearing and how you will know which tree will be your friend."
He chuckled at their confused faces "now, my tree will be the central focus, the 'matriarch' of this section of the forest and, maybe someday, of the whole forest. I want you all to watch the tree very carefully." He finished as he surreptitiously removed a glove, placing his hand on the tree in such a way that they couldn't see it.
For a moment, it looked like nothing at all had happened. Sure, maybe a cloud had moved from overhead, but nothing really significant appeared to have changed…that was until…
"Look, the tree – it's-!!"
"It's growing!! It's leaves, they're so-!" Indeed, the tree had grown thick, emerald-colored leaves, its trunk thickening, its branches sprouting branches of their own, and its height increasing steadily until it was three times the 6 or so pathetic feet it used to be. The ribbon was now tight on the trunk, and Stingchu put his glove back on to loosen it as all but Harry stared, gob-smacked (well, Luna just looked mildly surprised) at the now-great tree.
"Now, mind you, you might not be able to grow your trees at all today, and it might take years to be that proficient at it, but at least it gives you the general idea, right?" They stared then as Stingchu proceeded to 'connect' the trees by tapping his designated tree with a finger and then walking over to and tapping each visible tree, one-by-one. Once he was done with that, he turned back to them "now, who wants to pick the first tree?"
--
The tree Aaron chose was really a sapling – it was barely half his height, and looked quite weak and honestly was probably the most pathetic thing there, but he reasoned that since he was going to be working at Hogwarts as an assistant for Hagrid in Care of Magical Creatures and keeping the grounds, he might as well commit to something that would take nigh-forever to build up. Once he tied his ribbon about the trunk, he left a large portion of slack for the small thing, since he had no idea how this would all work. "Alright, now give me a moment here…" Stingchu muttered quietly.
Stingchu seemed to focus for a bit, before a small orb floated from his head, turning into a miniature of himself that fell into his palm. The little mini-Stingchu shook his head, momentarily dazed, before gazing up at its creator.
"Hey, boss" the small creature spoke in a surprisingly deep voice "whaddya need?"
"Just for you to be a walkie-talkie for now."
"Okie-dokie, boss – I'll keep in touch." It said before jumping into a branch on the sapling and having a seat.
"You stay here, Aaron, and don't worry about being attacked by anything; you'll be safe as long as you stay next to your tree." Stingchu said before moving on with the rest of the group. Aaron gave the emanchu a 'yeah, right' look as he lead the rest off, staring down at the sapling apprehensively.
'How is this thing gonna protect me? It needs more protection than I do!'
--
"Testing, testing, one, two, three; can everyone hear me?"
"Yes, sir" all eleven voices replied.
"Good, then let's begin. First, I want you to sit in front of your tree. For those of you with larger trees, it might be best to lean back against the trunk. Aaron, I want you to sit right in front of your and touch the bottom of the trunk for this. Now, listen closely…"
--
Breathing in and out, Harry repeated Stingchu's directions in his head once more, trying to 'reach out' to the tree. Now, he knew it wasn't as easy as saying 'hi' with a bit of magical energy, so he waited, trying to 'feel' the tree. After a few moments, he began to feel…something… It was like a gentle warmth was emanating from the tree into his back. He could hear a subtle wind in his ears and felt a strange peace he hadn't quite noticed before… He nearly lost his concentration as a deep humming began coming from the tree. As it was, he couldn't help but open his eyes and look up.
"Does everyone else hear that?" Harry heard Ginny through the mini-Stingchu on his tree's roots.
"Is it like a deep humming sound?" He asked.
"More like a quiet whisper." Aaron remarked.
"What are you all talking about?" Dean spoke up, sounding more than confused.
"Try again, Dean" Stingchu said patiently.
"This is amazing" Hermione whispered, sounding rather content. Harry agreed with her a great deal, watching the leaves of his tree glow a beautiful gold.
--
"Alright, everyone, we'll put it to a vote: do you all want to break for an early day, or keep going 'till sunset?" The reply was immediate and unanimous; no one wanted to go home yet.
--
Growing the trees wasn't so different from making the ribbons; just that a lot of their magic seemed to go more towards helping the trees recover, rather than helping them grow. As Stingchu led them back to the castle, he found himself reassuring the rather disappointed youngsters that it took time to grow a forest.
"Okay, then" he said as they all re-entered the courtyard "from today on, I will be going into the forest every day but Saturday, so you may accompany me from 3 in the afternoon to 5 from Monday to Friday, and from 11 in the morning to 5 on Sunday. I encourage you to bring classmates and friends to attend our Saturday sessions, and these afternoon sessions, so that they may test their mettle with some of this stuff. Now, another word: I don't want any of you wandering into the forest without me. If you do, don't bother coming back alive because if I ever find out you did something so reckless, they'll never find your bodies? Are we clear?"
"Y-Yes sir!" Most of them replied.
"I said, are we clear?!"
"Yes sir!!"
--
Later that evening, the hallways of Hogwarts turned into a comedy on a grand scale. Stingchu hurtled down the halls as a black blur, chased by a rapidly-moving Galaxy and a playful Ritten who tagged merrily along.
"YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!!" Galaxy roared at Stingchu, his claws creating small nicks in the stone floor "HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME WITH THAT SOFT, SWEET, PARENTAL CLONE!!! I SWEAR, I'M GONNA HAVE YOUR 'SET' FOR DINNER YOU SHIT-SMEAR OF A CUNT!!!"
"A shit-smear? But I thought I was a son of a bitch!!"
"YOU ASSHOLE!!!" Galaxy roared, doubling on the speed. Behind them, Ritten barked playfully, scampering after them with too-large paws and a lolling tongue.
--
Author's Notes: Well, there it is, with extra curses and obscenities and a large helping of sauce! As to the ideas that are completely mine, they include: Reversing, Advancing, Magic Flexibility, Costume Necklaces, the segment on mental techniques, the segment in Snape's greasy mind (although the Archetypes are not an entirely 'mine' concept; I've just made them unique), and the entire segment with the trees, including the part with the ribbons.
The ideas that are not of my own creation that I've added my own adaptations to include: Infusion, Animation and Overshadowing. As to Overshadowing, wouldn't it be so awesome, being that huge-ass basilisk?! That's why Stingchu did it...because it's awesome...
As to chapter 10, don't expect it to come anytime soon (sorry! don't kill me!!). It might be ready by early April or mid-March. I know, that's a long way off, but I don't like writing half-assed shit, and it takes a while to keep a good story moving along, ya know? As to the rating level, I think you're starting to see why it's like that, eh? Well, the language only gets fouler, so the rating stays high as fuckin' Mt. Everest...and yes, I said the f-word. Whatcha gonna do 'bout it?
To my readers: please review! I'm starving for advice/encouragement/human contact/support! I would really appreciate it, and I already reply to all of my reviews...
