All's Fair in Love and War

By: Soleia Nova

Warning: I'm fittin' ta start the fire now folks! You think you've seen it all? Well get ready, 'cause I'm bringin' the ceilin' down on your so-called 'reality'. So be prepared to… well, you can't prep for this. Trust me. So, anyway, I hope you like where this is going, if you don't, then tell me. But do it nicely or I'll kick your butt. I got the idea for this chapter while watching one of my cousin's X-men: Evolution tapes, you know, the title, so let's hope that works out okay. Thankies… As I write this I'm almost going to lunch so pardon if there are foodstuffs here and there. Speaking of which…(grabs a Pepsi and a large ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise sandwhich and starts grubbin'.) *With mouth full* Go on, read, I'll talk to ya at the end of the fic!

Chapter Nine: Power Surge

Vix sat up in bed, breath ragged, her nightshirt clinging to her skin damply. A bead of sweat trickled down her forehead as she groped for the switch on her bedside lamp. It wasn't there. Sighing wearily, Vix snapped her fingers, making the lights come on and she nearly screamed. Everything in her room, except for her carpet, was hanging from the ceiling. Kneeling on her bed and trying to keep her voluminous hair out of her eyes, Vix concentrated on mentally directing every piece of furniture back to its proper place. When she finally got back down to earth, she jumped off her bed, opened her door and bellowed:

"Grandmother!!!"

There was a slight wooshing pop as her grandmother appeared behind her.

"Grams, I've told you a trillion times not to do that! You could give me a heart attack!"

"Sweetie, I'm the one who should be complaining about heart attacks. I'm nearly fifty years older than you."

"And yet you teach an aerobics class, no? How can you complain?"

"Just like your father… always have to have the last word. Now, what is it that you felt you had to knock my eardrums out for?"

After explaining the situation with the furniture and tossing in another couple of 'incidents' that had happened in the last few days, Vix sat quietly while her grandmother paced back and forth across the floor in front of the bed. Finally she stopped, looked up and spoke.

"It's obvious what this is of course."

"It is…?"

"It's nearly time for you to become a full Aerian."

"What? B-but I'm not ready! I'm only seventeen!"

"That means that, so far, you'll be the youngest member of this clan to become one. I always knew your mother was a good choice for your father."

"Grams, the first week they were married, you put a time lock spell on Mom. She couldn't move in real time for nearly a month!"

"Oh, I was just being overprotective. Your father was my only son you know…"

"Of course I know! You only tell it to Aunt Jenice and Aunt Athame at every family reunion."

"And now you're becoming an Aerian before any of their children! See, I had a right to be proud, didn't I? And now you get to sit in on the Aerian meetings we have… You'll be too you to help make any decisions of course… but still…"

"Aww Grams…! Those meetings are boring! You said so yourself."

"I only said that so you would stop trying to sneak in like you did when you were nine!"

"I knew I heard Samba music in there!"

Silva Luna grinned at her granddaughter, the lines in her face deepening.

"I thought you had an expedition with Gaz today. You're already going to be late."

Vix glanced at the clock and did a double take.

"Twelve fifteen! I'm supposed to go meet Gaz in fifteen minutes! I'll never be ready in time!"

"Yes you will…" her grandmother laughed, flicking her wrist in Vix's direction. "Accelerus!"

"Hyperspeed! Coolthanksgrandma!"

"You're welcome" she called after her, shielding her face from the wind Vix had kicked up. "I think…"

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"What about this?" Vix questioned, holding up a deep blue shirt with a skull on it and black and white striped sleeves.

"Grab it" Gaz deadpanned from her place two racks away, where the clothes seemed to be moving themselves, so focused was Gaz on the game.

"Gaz!" Vix yelled, half angry, half perturbed. "Would you please stop playing that damn game and actually look up to see what I'm picking out.

" 'Cause five minutes ago, I tossed a bright pink and lime green T-shirt in there and you didn't even seem to notice."

One of Gaz's eyes twitched.

"Lime green?"

"And pink!"

"Vixie, unless you want to be in traction for the rest of your natural life, I suggest you put that shirt back."

"Yes master!" Vix chirped, rummaging through the stack of clothes and pulling out the aforementioned shirt, then tossing it aside to land neatly on top of the rack.

"Come on you deluded little crackhead, let's get outta here. I've had all the shopping I can handle."

Vix shrugged and grabbed the clothing, making her way to the cash register waveringly. As soon as all was rung up, Gaz paid with part of her allowance, which in Vix's opinion was more than any teenage girl should get in a week. Laden with shopping bags, they trudged out to the food court to grab a bite. Ten minutes later, after everyone had been instructed as to who it was they were dealing with, Gaz and Vix sat at a corner table in the food court, each with quite a large amount of pizza in front of her.

Vix tried her best to suppress the urge to knock the video game out of Gaz's hands, for she was playing with one hand and eating with the other. Finally, after beating the game for the second time that day, Gaz closed the gameslave and finished the rest of her pizza in a quick, unceremonious fashion.

"Where to now?" Vix asked as they loaded the bags into the car Gaz and Dib shared.

"How about we stop at the house, change into some fresh clothes, and head to that under twenty-one club in town? I hear their DJ is bangin'."

"Bangin'? Gaz, honeey, have you been watching 'Tales from tha Hood' again?"

Gaz merely rolled her eyes and got into the car, sticking her tongue out at Vix as an amused afterthought. Starting the car, Gaz gave Vix one glance of warning as she peeled out of the parking space at breakneck speed, causing her brother's blonde girlfriend to cling to the dash like her life depended on it.

"So are you coming?" Gaz asked, peeling around a corner without so much as a blink.

"Only if you stop driving this thing like you've got a deathwish...!" Vix yelped when Gaz realized that she had missed the turn and executed a 180 back in their direction. "As. In. NOW!"

"Alright, Alright," Gaz grumbled good-naturedly, a small grin breaking out on her usually expressionless features. The violet-haired girl eased her foot off the gas and parked smoothly in her driveway. "I'll pick you up in about a half hour."

"Sure." Vix was suddenly stuck by an idea. "Hey Gaz, you mind if I invite someone to come with?"

"As long as it's not Dib, go right ahead. I'm not the one who'll have to hang out with 'em."

"No prob. Trust me, this'll be fun!" 'At least, I hope so..."

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"Alright let's go!" Vix said as she shut the door to her house, making sure the door was properly shut. Her long, sleeveless green shirt fluttered behind her like a jacket, the front parting over her stomach and slit in half down the back. Under it she wore a light green halter top, and mid-calf length black jeans with gold trim. "Move over and lemme drive" Vix said authoritatively, pushing Gaz over to the passenger side gently.

"So, who'd you invite?" Gaz asked as they drove toward a part of town where the houses were large and grand, and the back and front yards were enormous. Gaz smoothed the front of her purple spiderweb dress as Vix drove.

"You'll see" the older girl replied, apparently trying to sound mysterious. She failed miserably.

"Right..." Gaz once again stared out the window, fingering the neck of the black turtleneck she had on under her dress. The pull-on sleeves she had on over the turtleneck were striped black and purple, as were her leggings, as Gaz didn't believe in wearing skirts and dresses without something on underneath. It didn't seem right to her. They stopped in front of a pretty big house and Vix honked the horn. Once. Twice. Then twice more in quick succession. The door opened and the too-tall lanky figure shouted something into the house before starting down the front steps toward the car. Xanade stopped just outside the car and looked back up at the house, where two small figures were waving from a window. Studying Xanade, Gaz noticed that her little backpod seemed to have dissapeared, making her look disturbingly more normal than usual. The electric blue corset shirt and light blue sleeves looked strangely good with the dark blue dress pants and short, black sarong she wore around her waist. Xanade looked altogether grateful as she climbed into the car, opening the door and sitting down with her legs crossed, all in one swift movement.

"Hit the gas, I can't believe you still use fossil fuels by the way, as hard as you can. I don't want R.D. to suddenly feel like tagging along."

Vix complied with a smirk of obvious mirth and pushed her foot onto the gas as hard as she could. Gaz could only glance uneasily into the rearview mirror once in a while, the blue-clad girl watching the streets pass, the streetlights illuminating her face eerily, making her bright tangerine eyes seem to glow. They had to park two blocks away from the club because any street nearer was already crowded beyond capacity. As they strolled up to the door Gaz seemed to hesitate. Vix slid one of her arms through one of hers and pulled her inside, putting the index finger of each hand up.

"No turning back now...!" she sing-songed with a smile. "Besides, you did not nearly kill me just to bail out on me at the last millisecond."

In front of them, Xanade was currently threatening a trio of guys out of their table in a voice that was barely audible, yet it apparently carried well because they evacuated immediately, leaving the table clear for the girls. Gaz smirked.

"You know, having her around might not be so bad after all."

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Once they got Xanade to loosen up about dancing insuch a public place, she was actually a lot of fun to have around, and she had Gaz in stitches during her breaks, telling her about the mishaps and.. -ahem-... *adventures* she'd had with Zim when they were both younger. Vix and Gaz pooled their knowledge of what had happened between Zim and Dib when the green boy had first arrived, and between the two of them, were able to make Xanade clutch her sides and nearly fall off her chair. Gaz was asked to dance with a guy that looked nearly identical to Jhonny Depp, so of course she said yes (hey, even Gaz has weaknesses, see the end for an explanation). Vix grinned as they started playing the dance mix of Rob Zombie's 'Dragula' and hauled Xanade to her feet.

"C'mon your alien-ness, let's dance!" Vix said, Xanade being near-dragged behind her.

Using a combination of the things she'd been taught and what she saw going on around her, Xanade fared pretty well, and Vix had to keep hiding behind her because some guy would not leave her alone. Finally, Vix yelled over to Xanade that she was getting a headache and needed a drink. Offering to get it for her, Xanade turned and glided up the small set of steps out of the dance floor and over to the bar. Vix had returned to the table by the time the drink had been poured, and as Xanade started back toward the table, she had the sudden feeling that something was wrong. Very, very wrong. Vix was now clutching her head, nearly sobbing with what Xanade presumed to be pain. That's when it happened. A pulse of transparent green light blasted out of the center of Vix's forehead, causing everything it passed through to start floating, though people seemed immune. The music stopped and now Xanade could hear Vix chanting something in a language that she'd never heard, her voice tight and strained. Xanade once again started her trek towrd the blonde, abandoning the now-useless glass and leaving its contents floating in mid-air. She was stopped dead in her tracks however, when yet another pulse wave came from Vix, who was biting her bleeding lip to keep from screaming in pain. The people in the club were starting to stare now, and the Irken felt it was her duty to keep them from doing anything stupid. So, going with the first thing she thought of, Xanade climbed onto a table and yelled:

"The cops are shutting this place down! Everybody run, quick! They're arresting anybody they see!"

Sreaming, the people in the club evacuated, leaving quite a few trampled in their wake. Gaz now joined Xanade in trying to bring Vix back to reality, finally succeeding with a sharp slap across the face. Vix looked up in surprise, eyes going wide as she glimpsed the now deserted and decimated club. The furniture had stopped floating when Gaz had slapped her, and had crashed to the flood leaving dents and gaping holes in many places. She stood up dizzily, swaying a bit and gripped a toppled table for support.

'What happened?" she asked groggily, like a person who had just woken up from a bad dream. The cut on her lip had been starting to heal, but the second she spoke it split open once again.

"Do the words: 'walking disaster' mean anything to you?" Xanade snapped, grabbing Vix's arm and slinging it around her shoulders, motioning for Gaz to take the other side. "Let's get out of here before those useless policemen of yours do show up."

"Good idea" Vix agreed weakly, and stumbled along until they put her in the passenger side, where she sat with her head leaning heavily on the window.

"You think she's okay?" Gaz asked, taking the wheel while Xanade took over the entire back seat.

"She's fine. Probably just worn out. We should get her home."

"We? Whaddaya mean we? I'm dropping you off and getting her home myself!"

"Listen you presumptuous little dirtbag-"

"Would you two please stop fighting? I'm getting a headache again…"

Knowing what would probably happen both girls shut up.

"Thank you," Vix said, sitting up straight as a rod and looking around at both of them. "Now if it pleases the court" she started, holding her hand up, palm flat and facing up, "I suggest we all just…" She gave a puff of breath and a fine, gold dust settled over her companions before disappearing. "Forget it happened."

Gaz shook her head and looked around for a second, even though her eyes never seemed to leave the road.

"What were we talking about?"

"How stupid Zim and Dib act sometimes" Vix supplied with a grin and listened as Gaz launched into a full narrative about 'boys and their stupidity'. Vix sat back and relaxed, painfully unaware that her little magic trick had not worked on Xanade. They dropped her off, and as she exited the car, Xanade leaned over to the open window on Vix's side.

"I know what you are…" she whispered menacingly. "But I wonder: does Dib?"

Vix whipped her head around to see that she was already disappearing through her front door. Scowling, she tossed in a CD and turned the radio on full blast.

If she tells him… oh God, I don't know what will happen

Holy Shittles that's some suspenseful crap! Wonder what'll happen next? If you really wanna know, then look out for the next chapter: Revelations. Ooo, spiffy, and, as always, Review or I'll Spork you to death and set the characters from my (in the works) JTHM fic on ya!