A/N: Thanks so much for all the great reviews last chapter, much appreciated and they always make my day.
The big moment has finally arrived. I got VERY clucky whilst writing this! Beware it is seriously mushy. Enjoy.
Chapter 9.
Juliet gripped his hand so tight his fingers went numb. She was moaning, half whimpering and he felt awful, was sorry he ever got her pregnant now. What the hell had he been thinking? Sex should be banned.
"Hey baby," he soothed after the contraction had eased and she'd loosened her death grip on his hand. He pushed sweaty strands of hair back from her forehead, swallowing the lump in his throat, feeling useless. She turned that pain filled gaze to his and he wished it was all over but in reality it had only been a couple of hours.
"James if you tell me one more time that lots of women do this I swear I'll cut your balls off," she managed in a hoarse voice.
"I love it when ya talk dirty Blondie," he grinned.
She managed a smile before the next contraction struck and she was squeezing his fingers so tight it made him wince. Small consolation for what she was going through. God he just wanted this over and done with. He hated seeing her suffer like this.
She was panting now, between the contractions which were coming fast and furious, a good sign the nurse had said but it didn't look that way to him. He wiped her face with a sponge, spoke soothing words, caressed her face, all the good partner things he was meant to do to try and make it easier for her, except take the pain away that he couldn't do though he wished he could.
And another painful drawn out hour of this agony passed by.
"I'm too old for this shit," Juliet rasped, her breathing ragged.
James didn't know what to say because at present he couldn't seem to get anything right, better to just stroke her tangled hair and try to give a sympathetic look, which wasn't hard because from what he gathered it sucked being a woman.
"Promise me we won't ever do this again?" she whimpered, turning her tear streaked face to his. He wiped away a stray tear with his thumb, she was breaking his heart.
"Ya doing fine," he reassured, though he had no idea what fine was, she looked a wreck to him.
He was exhausted and he hadn't even done anything!
The clock struck at some ungodly hour of the morning. He'd long parted ways with the vest and platform shoes, leaving just socks on his feet and his hair standing up on end by now causing Juliet to smile crookedly in one of her more lucid moments before the ferocity of another contraction hit her followed by another meltdown.
"My dress is ruined," she cried looking most distressed.
How the hell could she think about a dress at a time like this?
"It's not as if ya gonna need it again," he replied thinking this would help.
It was obviously the wrong thing to say given her expression.
"It'll wash out," he hurriedly added.
The doctor entered the room.
"How is she going?" James heard him ask Patsy the midwife.
"She is 8cm dilated, everything is fine," Patsy replied.
James got up stiffly from the stool near Juliet's bed side.
"Hey doc how much longer is this gonna take?" he asked, wanting it to be over, then he could stop worrying so much. Stop seeing her suffer like this.
"It's only been six hours," the doctor replied, glancing at Juliet, "she's doing great."
Only six hours! How long were these things supposed to take?
"It's a bit like pot luck, the whole birth experience," the doctor went on to explain, "a lucky dip, you never know how it's going to go."
James didn't feel reassured. Fuck the lucky dip, what the hell did that mean? Did Juliet get the lucky draw?
"I think it's coming!" Juliet gasped suddenly scaring the shit out of him.
The doctor rushed over to her. "You can feel it?"
She nodded furiously, biting down on her lip.
"I think she's fully dilated," Patsy exclaimed, peering over the blanket covering Juliet's thighs.
There was nothing discrete or dignified in the birthing process, James grimaced. The doctor then had to make his own check, meanwhile Juliet was gripping him by the arm. He saw the fear in her eyes.
"Doc said you got the lucky dip," he murmured, pushing an errant strand of hair behind her ear, "you can do this Juliet, I believe in you."
Half an hour later after much hard pushing, screaming, tears and then a tiny squawk before a very loud one. Sweet relief crossed Juliet's tired face.
"It's here," she gasped lying back on the pillows looking spent but also strangely exhilarated.
James stood there rooted to the spot as the doctor held up this tiny pink baby, arms failing as it cried louder in protest at having been born.
"It's a girl," Patsy smiled, tears welling in her eyes as she wrapped a little blanket around the baby.
"Let me hold her," Juliet murmured and Patsy handed the baby to Juliet and it was the first time James saw his daughter. The baby stopped crying instantly.
It was the damndest thing, so tiny, so perfect, so beautiful this little human being, a part of both of them and he felt the tears trickle down his cheeks. Relief mingled with joy that he couldn't even begin to explain.
"Look at her James, isn't she exquisite?" Juliet gushed, tears streaming down her cheeks, looking radiantly beautiful.
He's speechless seeing the wonder of this, the strong emotions now swamping him, he managed to nod his head. Keep it together, he chided but the emotions were too overwhelming and the tears he couldn't control.
"James?" she began sounding bemused, "you alright?"
"I dunno," he got out in a choked voice before burying his face in the mattered mess that was now her hair sprawled out over her shoulder.
The baby had started crying again and he felt Juliet's hand stroke his hair, fuck but he was just a big baby himself snivelling away like this, hiding his face in her hair. So much for the strong macho man. He was an emotional wreck.
He raised his head and met Juliet's beautiful eyes, alight with a wonder he had never seen in them before. She caressed the planes of his face with her fingers, lovingly.
"This is our daughter," she said so softly, the awe in her voice.
"I-It is something else," he managed to get out in a choked voice.
"I love you," she breathed kissing his cheek, before capturing his mouth with hers.
He can taste the saltiness of her tears mingling with his own and an intense joy deep in his belly rises to the surface. He pulled back to gaze into her eyes.
"You're amazing ya know that?" he grinned, a laugh escaping his throat making her laugh, the intense emotional craziness of it all, these emotions so wonderful, so intense, something totally indescribable at the creation of this tiny life before them. Reaching out a finger he gently caressed their daughter's soft downy cheek. Nothing had ever felt so amazing. He touched her tightly clenched little fists, the fingers splayed open for a moment before tightening around his finger causing a lump to form in his throat. And those solemn looking eyes gazing around as if to say 'what is this, where am I?' She was strong for one so tiny, he watched her tug his finger towards her mouth and try to suckle on it, making these little snuffling noises before realising that his finger wasn't giving her what she needed and she let out a wail in protest.
"I think she is hungry," Patsy spoke breaking the spell.
It is an automatic thing really, Juliet mused, even though initially awkward, unbuttoning the hospital gown, holding the baby with the help of Patsy to her right breast. Feeling the baby suckle on her nipple was the strangest of sensations, yet nothing had felt so right. Nothing could replace this high. James was stroking the crescent tip of her hairline.
"Let's do it again soon," she sighed in contentment as the baby suckled.
He gave a lopsided grin. "Ya told me before to never let this happen again," he reminded her.
"I was out of my mind then," she replied smiling, smoothing the lines on his face with her one free hand.
He looked as worn out as she felt. How she loved him in that moment, she didn't think she could possibly love him anymore.
"I-I think," she murmured her voice cracking slightly, "I think we name her Mary after your mom."
His whole body went suddenly still and seeing the raw pain in his eyes brought fresh tears to hers. "That is what you want isn't it James?" she asked tentatively, stroking his arm.
He nodded as if unable to speak. She could tell he was fighting back the tears. His emotional display at their daughter's birth surprising her but touching her deeply too. This meant just as much to him as he did to her.
James left an exhausted Juliet and baby close to six in the morning. He felt as if he was on another planet, his extreme tiredness and the emotional exhaustion making him feel surreal. Had Juliet just given birth to their baby? A girl, a girl now called Mary after his own mother. Tears threatened again. Fuck but he was an emotional mess. How could he sleep after that? He was moving on autopilot straight to Jin and Miles' house, rapping on the front door. Jin was there in a flash startling James for a moment. An expectant look crossed his face.
"Well?" he asked.
"It's a girl, her name is Mary," James returned so quickly the words came out all jumbled.
A huge grin split Jin's face in half and next thing he knew Jin was hugging him.
"Congratulations," he exclaimed patting him on the back.
"Mother and daughter doing well?" he asked.
"They're doing great," James returned, relief etched in the lines of his face.
"This calls for a celebration," Jin said happily, searching for a bottle of scotch.
Miles was passed out on the couch. James shook his head. Typical. Jin returned with two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. James raised an eyebrow.
"Bit early don't ya think?"
Jin poured a generous amount of whiskey and handed it to him.
"You're going to need it," he grinned.
Maybe Jin was right, a few good stiff drinks would help him sleep. He took a long swig, feeling it burn all the way down his oesophagus in a most satisfying way. Jin was still smiling and poured himself a generous amount of whisky as well.
"A toast," he said holding up his glass, "too a good life for baby Mary and parents."
James was touched, emotional sap that he presently was and held up his glass.
"To a good life," he said.
They clink glasses and he took another swig.
"Ya know Jin I never thought I'd end up a daddy," he spoke at length, "god but I ain't ever seen anything so amazing as that little baby."
He was getting all choked up about it again. Running a hand over his face he looked up to find Jin's eyes watching him.
"You make a good father, I know you."
Miles groaned from the couch and both James and Jin turned to look at him. He sat up looking pale, glancing in their direction.
"You two still at it?" he asked in disbelief.
James was just about to tell him when Miles pushed himself off the couch.
"I'm going to throw up," he moaned before staggering towards the toilet.
James looked back at Jin. "I'll let ya deal with Enos."
The whiskey was beginning to go to his head already. "And I seriously need some sleep."
Juliet didn't know how long she slept only that she was so warm and comfortable that she didn't want to move. She knew it would hurt soon as she did but some annoying person was shaking her and they wouldn't go away.
"Juliet," the voice more insistent and she opened one bleary eye to look at the offending person.
It was Patsy.
"You're baby is awake and she is hungry."
It only seemed like five minutes ago since she closed her eyes.
"What time is it?" she asked, her voice husky, hoarse, licking her dry lips.
"It's nine in the morning," Pasty replied.
She had managed four hours sleep and felt like crap. Her fanny still felt like it was on fire it hurt so bad. The tearing was minimal, a few stitches, she was lucky according to Patsy who soon shared her own birth horror story of a 35 hour labour, over an hour of pushing then having to have 50 stitches to sew up the tears making Juliet's eyes water. But despite her state of exhaustion and the pain it had been some night. Any moment she was expecting to wake up and find it all a dream, but there was her daughter, wrapped up nice and tight in a bunny rug. The little face all scrunched up, red and grumpy, gnawing furiously on her little fist. Juliet was surprised by the sudden fierceness of the maternal possessiveness that overcame her. She was hers. Pushing herself up into a sitting position Juliet ignored the aches and pains as if she'd just spent a week in the ring with Mike Tyson. Patsy placed the baby in her arms and Mary instinctively quietened down gazing up somewhere in the vicinity of her face, almost cross-eyed causing Juliet to smile. She knew babies could only see around 20cm at this stage. Juliet unbuttoned her top and placed the baby strategically on her breast with some difficulty. It felt so awkward, trying to hold the baby right. Eventually she managed and the baby suckled a look of sweet contentment on its little face. Juliet couldn't tear her eyes away from this little being that James and herself had somehow created. She was so perfect, a patch of fair downy hair covering the top of her head, the little face much to adorable, the button nose, pouty lips, a crease in her brow as if assessing the world already, so like James. She lightly smooths out the frown on her daughter's forehead.
"She's a healthy 7 pound 12 ounces," Patsy announced, "a good weight considering she's a couple of weeks early and no breathing problems at all."
Juliet smiled up at Patsy.
"And I think she's going to be tall, she's 52cm in length."
Juliet gazed back down at the baby still in disbelief. All those months she had waited for this but nothing could have prepared her for the swamp of emotions now assailing her.
"So what is her middle name going to be?" Patsy asked as she pressed her fingers against the inside of Juliet's wrist checking her pulse.
"Maybe Rachel," she replied, "Mary Rachel LaFleur."
The name seemed to roll off her tongue. Perhaps Rachel wasn't the best name to accompany Mary but the two names had such special significance and it seemed fitting.
"Once you're done there you should have a shower and freshen up," Patsy suggested wrapping a cuff around her upper arm to check her blood pressure, "before Jim gets here, you'll want to look nice for him."
Hmm James she missed him already. He was probably fast asleep. He had been so patient last night, tender, caring, doing what he could to make it easier for her and the moment of Mary's birth had been incredibly special, seeing the emotion and tears in his eyes. Nothing could take away that moment they had shared together, nothing had ever been that meaningful, the moment so beautiful. A smile crossed her face just thinking about it.
The hot water was just what Juliet needed and she stood for ages under the flowing water as it streamed through her hair and down her aching body. How was it possible that it hurt so much, she blindly groped for the hair shampoo. Her legs felt like jelly and even shampooing her hair seemed too hard. She hastily applied the hair conditioner and was glad to get out of the shower needing to sit down but much to her dismay she suddenly realised she had no clothes to wear. Now what? Wrapping a towel around herself, hair still dripping she padded barefoot back to her bed, luckily no one else was in the infirmary that day. Mary was asleep in the crib and Patsy nowhere to be seen when the door burst open and James walked in. His eyes lit up when he saw her and without hesitation he waltzed straight up to her and captured her mouth in one long, warm, passionate heart stopping kiss.
"You got no idea how much I love ya," he murmured, his breath warm against her neck making her toes curl. He'd obviously just showered and she liked the fresh soap smell mingled with his spicy deodorant that was him. His hair was still damp, brushing against her fingers as she wove her hands around his neck.
The look in his eyes was both tender and loving and she clutched at his shirt to steady herself, she really needed to sit down. As if reading her mind he scooped her up into his arms and carried her back to her bed.
"James," she half laughed, "I weigh a tonne."
He just gave her a bemused look "hardly" and deposited her gently on the bed, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes.
"You were amazing," he grinned, "I still can't get the joy on ya face out of my head."
She shivered despite his warm words.
"Ya cold baby?" he continued, his eyes scanning the crumpled bed and bedside table, "where's ya clothes?"
He turned his questioning gaze back to hers.
"You'll need to go back to the house and get me some," she returned her teeth clattering with cold now.
"Ya look like a drowned rat Blondie," he said in a gruff voice and grabbing another towel her rubbed her dripping hair dry before draping the towel across her shoulders. Still not convinced that was enough he grabbed a spare blanket from another hospital bed and wrapped that around her, followed by the doona on her bed till she felt like some Eskimo. She saw him hide a brief amused smiled at the sight she obviously presented.
"Ah but you look so cute like that," he grinned, "Ya warm enough now Blondie."
"I think so James," she replied dryly, she couldn't even move.
"Good I'll go get ya some clothes," he continued peering over the crib at the baby.
She watched mesmerised the play of emotions crossing his face from utter amazement to disbelief.
"She's something else hey," he murmured, his voice catching in his throat, his gaze meeting hers, "she's a beauty like her mom."
Juliet felt the colour creep into her cheeks, right now she felt more like something the cat had dragged in with her mattered wet hair, wrapped up in multi layers of fluff whether that be of a towel, blanket and doona, just like a big round cotton ball.
"What do ya wanna wear?" he asked.
"Just the usual," she sighed.
"Right dungarees coming up," he smiled before disappearing out the door.
It seemed like just about every able bodied person visited her that day in the infirmary bearing flowers and gifts making her head spin. Her face felt ready to crack with smiling so much and she had to rub her cheeks to make them feel normal again.
Miles didn't make it till later in the day, still looking pretty green.
"Hey Jim," he'd remarked looking at the baby asleep in her arms, "you actually got something right for a change."
James looked pleased with himself. "Yeah and I ain't the one with the hang over either, seems I got that right too."
"No need to get so cocky," Miles muttered before turning his attention back to Juliet, a wide grin crossing his face. "Don't you two make a pretty pair."
By the end of the day Juliet had had enough really and wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and go to sleep. She refused to stay at the infirmary, wanting to sleep in her own bed alongside James, needing to feel his arms around her.
"I'll be fine Patsy," she pleaded, "besides I'm just a couple of doors down from you and I feel good."
Though that wasn't entirely true she felt wasted and was coming down from the high.
Patsy relented and it was with great relief to go home, baby bundled up in her bunny rug. James had set up the crib beside the bed, done nothing but fuss over her as if she were some precious cargo. He'd attempted to make dinner, scrambled eggs on toast and bacon. She was starving, having a baby made the appetite kick in something fierce. She was already on her fourth piece of toast and James was just looking at her in that bemused way, pretty much like he had all day off and on.
"Taste alright huh?" he asked.
Both of them knowing he wasn't the best of cooks. She just nods, too hungry too care.
They were sitting at the table, she was beginning to feel semi normal again, though still exhausted. For a moment they sat in silence, the clock ticking on the wall, this there first night with the baby and it felt strange, like they were not quite sure what to do with themselves now.
"We're parents," James spoke at last, a look of disbelief crossing his face, "huh, it feels weird hey?"
He looked at her and she swallowed her toast.
"Yeah but good?"
He nodded vigorously.
"Definitely good."
James sat on the edge of the bed starting at the baby fast asleep in her crib, little hands half curled up in semi fists, clasping either side of her precious little face. He watched in fascination unable to tear his eyes away from this tiny person, a part of Juliet and him. It was the most amazing thing. Still blew him away.
"James," Juliet murmured sleepily, "you should come and sleep now before she wakes up."
He drags himself away from the baby and climbs into bed alongside Juliet, gathering her into his arms. She goes willingly, finding the warmth of his arms reassuring, comforting. He holds her like he never wants to let her go. She hears the steady rhythm of his heart against her cheek resting on his bare chest. He is stroking her hair from the top of her head down to the very ends in one long slow fluid movement, it is soothing.
"Do you believe it?" she whispers.
"Nah," he sighs, "I feel like I've strayed into a dream of someone else's life."
She lifts her head and looks at him.
"This is your life now."
He rubs a thumb over her lips, his gaze tender and warm.
"I wouldn't change it for anything," he gets out, his voice husky.
She snuggles up to him.
"I love you James," she murmurs her eyes closing as the exhaustion takes over.
He watches her eyelashes flutter against her pale cheeks and the love he has for her swamps him. She was amazing. She was his.
"I'll take care of ya," he whispers, "you and Mary. You got no idea how much I love ya both."
Who would have thought, he muses, him, the ex-conman, sworn off love for life but finding it all the same and it being sweeter than anything he could have imagined.
He got lucky. And he knew it.
A/N: I had the best time writing this chapter, a smile on my face the whole time. Yeah and it's mushy I know, sigh. I didn't have the heart to give Juliet too much of a hard time with giving birth. I didn't want to put all you single ladies off either, haha. I certainly didn't base her birth experience after my own but the outcome was just as amazing as what is written here or at least what I have tried to capture. Hmm but reality does hit you smack bang in the face a few days later! But I'll save that for the next chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it.
