36. At the Jennifer's

I let loose

I was an unstoppable force

That was killer

And when I felt the craziness

Wear off I just took a pill

And another

And another

Until I dropped to the floor

37. I Lost Control

Took too much

Pills that I should have

I'm gonna die

I know it

I can feel myself

Slipping away

Into oblivion

Never to return

God couldn't help me now

No one could

At least that's what

I thought

I thought wrong.

38. After Being Rushed to the Hospital

And getting my stomach pumped

I was brought back from the dark side

But even though they almost killed me

I wanted more

More drugs

So I could be free

And not care anymore

But like wasn't that easy

Nothing was

39. Josh Was in the Room

When I woke up

He didn't have kind words

He was furious

"What the hell were you thinking?

You could have killed yourself

How could you do something

So dangerous, so carless, so stupid!"

"Thanks MOM for the riot act"

"Don't talk to me like that!

I've been so worried!

You don't know what

You putter everyone into!"

"And I don't care, no one does

I'll do what I want when I want"

"Fine, whatever Carlos just remember

That you're not the only person your

Bringing down"

40. What was that supposed to mean?

I really didn't care though

The guys came in after Josh

Said that same thing

I told them to leave

I didn't care

I would never

All I wanted was more drugs

Now