*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much!
I manage to make it through the day without breaking down into tears. Joe really hurt my feelings not only because I am falling in love with him but as my best friend he betrayed me. He told me he was going to break up with Gina but instead of doing that he had sex with her. It hurts knowing that I was nothing to him but someone to spend the weekend with. I feel used. I walk into my house and I lose it as my mama says, "Hey, Teagan, how was your day?"
"It sucked!" I say before I break down into sobs.
"Teagan, Sweetie what is the matter? Why are you crying? Is someone picking on you at school?"
"It was nothing. I just want to go to my room."
"We can talk about it if you want to."
"I don't want to talk about it," I say through my cries and run upstairs to my room. I shut the door behind me and throw my school stuff onto the floor before I fall onto my bed, burying my head into my pillow and continue to sob thinking about everything that happened between Joe and me. I don't know how he could hurt me like this. He promised me and then he broke that promise.
I cry for what seems like hours as my phone continues to ring and I ignore it knowing it's Joe. I have nothing to say to him. I don't want to see him or talk to him. Seeing him at school was enough. There is a knock on my door as I continue to cry. "Go away!" I say.
"Teagan, it's me," says my sister Taryn. "Can I come in?"
"Fine," I say as I sit up as she opens my bedroom door.
"What is going on? Mama said you came home from school and you were crying, what happened?"
"I just had a really bad day," I say.
"A day that made you cry? Want to talk about it?"
"Joe is a douchebag. That's all there is to say."
"So it's about Joe," she says walking over to my bed and taking a seat. "What did Joe do?"
"He lied to me," I say. "He was supposed to break up with his girlfriend last night so that we could be together but he never did. He is still with her today. When I asked him why he didn't break up with her he said because he couldn't do it."
"So he was going to break up with his girlfriend to be with you? That's what you're saying?"
"He was supposed to, Taryn. I spent the weekend with him while she was out of town. We hung out together like we were a real couple it felt so right but today everything feels so screwed up. We made love Friday night together for a long time and everything was perfect and then today he told me he can't break up with her but he told me he was falling in love with me."
"Wow, so you and Joe slept together again and had a weekend together hanging out?"
"Yes," I say. "It was a great weekend and I was ready for him to tell me that he broke up with Gina but instead he tells me he couldn't and he had a big hickey on his neck."
"A hickey?" she asks.
"Yeah and it wasn't from me. I didn't' give him a hickey. She did which means he slept with her after he slept with me. He's double dipping. You can't double dip."
"Wow," she says, "this is what I was scared of happening. You had sex with him and now you're hurt because he is with his girlfriend. I told you that you shouldn't get too attached."
"What am I supposed to do when he is telling me he loves me and he wants to be with me and not with her?"
"Sounds like he was just saying what you wanted to hear so he could get you in his bed. I'm sorry but it's true."
"Joe isn't like that though. He's not that kind of guy. I believe his feelings are truly genuine but I think that maybe he is scared to leave Gina I don't know. This is way too much drama for my life right now."
"Well, you kind of put yourself in the drama. Remember Teagan, she's the girlfriend, you are just the sex he had while she was away. If he truly cared about you he wouldn't have slept with her and he would have broken up with her like he told you he was going to do. I'm not trying to bash Joe or anything but it's the truth. If he cared about you and loved you like he says then he would have been done with Gina but the fact that he slept with her and is still with her means he just wanted to tell you what he did so you would end up in bed with him."
"Well, that sucks," I say, "I do like him, Taryn, I really like him."
"I know I can see it in your eyes when you talk about him and the fact you're crying over this kid shows how much you really do love him. I'm sorry that you're hurting. He shouldn't have told you he was going to leave Gina and then not do it. How do you feel about it?"
"I feel like I was used," I say, "I mean she was away for the weekend and I was with him. I feel like he used me. I gave him my virginity."
"That is a big deal," she says, "I'm not here to judge you but I am sure there are other guys out there besides Joe that would be crazy about you. What Joe did was an asshole move. He led you on and made you believe that you had a chance with him. I am sure that hurts."
"It hurts a lot," I say. "He is supposed to be my best friend. We've been best friends since 3rd grade never did I think he could hurt me so deeply. I feel like an idiot. I feel so stupid."
"I'm sorry," she says. "I wish I could take away your pain and make you stop hurting but I can't you're going to need to heal but I am here for you."
"Thanks," I say, "do broken hearts always hurt like this?"
"They are as painful as they sound," she says. "Personally I think you're better than Joe. You can find someone better than Joe I'm sure. When you slept with him this weekend did you use protection?"
"Are you the condom police?" I ask.
"I just want to make sure you're being smart about sex. You don't want to get pregnant."
"No we didn't and I'm not going to get pregnant and besides I got my period today but it's over now."
"It only lasted a day?"
"Yeah," I say, "I might be stressed."
"Okay," she says, "I hope you learn from this to be more careful. The last thing you want is to get pregnant right now you're so young. You have the whole world ahead of you. You have plenty of time to have babies, being in high school is NOT the time. You should be enjoying time with your friends. So what are you going to do now about Joe?"
"I don't know," I say. "I really don't know. I want to stay friends with him but I don't know if I can stay friends with him. It might hurt too much being friends with someone that will never be mine."
"I can see how it will be hard but you and Joe have been friends for a while. Is this girl worth losing that friendship over?"
"It's not even about her anymore, Taryn. If that's who he wants to be with fine, he'll see her for what she truly is one day but it's him lying to me and breaking a promise to me. That hurt me more than anything."
"I know it does hurt," she says, "what you choose to do is your choice."
"I know," I say as my mama knocks on the door. "Yes?"
"Joe is downstairs he wants to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk to him," I say.
"You don't' want to talk to Joe? So what is going on?"
"Nothing," I say, "I just don't want to talk to him."
"Does this have to do with what happened today?"
"Maybe a little," I say. "Tell him to leave."
"I'm not telling him to leave, Teagan, I don't know what happened and I really don't care but you two have been best friends since you were 8. You two are inseparable you need to talk to him and resolve whatever it is that is going on."
"Sometimes people change," I say.
"Teagan," she says, "go talk to that boy. He's been calling here not stop. Go talk to him."
"Fine, Mama, send him up here. I'll talk to him."
"All right," she says, "I'll send him up."
"Thanks," I say annoyed that she's making me talk to him. I don't want to talk to him. I have nothing to say to him and I know if I see him I am going to cry.
"Are you sure you want to talk to him?" asks Taryn after our mama leaves to get Joe.
"What choice do I have? Mama wants me to talk to him so I will," I say, "I really don't want to but I have to."
"Well, good luck," she says, "I hope everything goes well."
"Thanks," I say before she gives me a hug and then leaves me alone so that Joe and I can talk.
A few minutes later Joe knocks on my door. "Can I come in?" he asks.
"I guess," I say.
"Thanks," he says making his way into my room and over to my bed. He takes a seat next to me on the bed. "I'm sorry, Teagan."
"Sorry for what?" I ask.
"For not breaking up with Gina like I told you I was going to do. I should have broken up with her but I was stupid and I didn't."
"Why didn't you, Joe? What about us and all the things you were saying to me. You were telling me that you love me and that we were meant to be together. What happened to that?"
"Teagan, I do love you. I love you a lot but when Gina came over and I tried to break up with her she turned into an emotional wreck. She was choking and sobbing. I couldn't hurt her like that."
"That's rich, Joe, you couldn't hurt her like that but you could hurt me like this? You have been my friend since 3rd grade and you have known her for a week, maybe longer but you get my point. You have known me longer we are closer to each other. You gave me your virginity and I gave you mine. You're my best friend and yet you had no problem hurting me but you had a problem hurting Gina."
"Tea, it's not even like that."
"Then what's it like, Joe please tell me what is it like? How was it so easy for you to hurt me but so hard to hurt her?"
"Tea, I can't explain it. I don't like to see any girl cry."
"But you sure do like making them cry," I say, "what you did hurt me. You filled my head with nonsense and empty promises. Am I not as pretty as Gina? What is it?"
"You're beautiful, Teagan, the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I will admit it I was an asshole. I did the wrong thing. I should have broken up with her but if you could have seen her you would understand why I didn't."
"But that didn't mean you needed to have sex with her."
"And you're right I didn't but I did because I am an asshole and I'm sorry."
"It just hurts so bad, Joe. I really do like you. I am in love with you and seeing you with Gina kills me. It's so hard and then when I thought you were done with her I find out you're not. I feel so stupid and used."
"Do you regret us?" he asks.
"There was never an us," I say, "but I don't regret what happened between us. I just wish there could be more between us than just sex. I enjoyed my weekend with you. I really did. It was a great weekend. I forgot what it was like to hang out with you. With Gina I feel like I am losing my best friend because she doesn't want you around me. That's not fair to me."
"I know," he says, "I told her that I wasn't going to throw away my friendship with you. If she wants to be with me she has to accept my friendship with you. I mean that is if you still want to be friends with me."
"Joe," I say, "being friends is a bit hard. I mean I can't just turn my feelings off for you. I can't do that. I wish I could but I can't."
"Are you saying we can't be friends?"
"I want to be friends, Joe, it's just going to be hard to do."
"I know but I don't want to lose my friendship with you, Teagan, you're the peanut butter to my jelly, the peas to my carrots, the cookies to my milk you know what I mean. Without you as a friend I would be so lost. I need you to be my friend."
"So that is all I'm ever going to be to you? A friend?"
"For now, Tea," he says. "I am really sorry."
"Me too," I say.
"You have nothing to be sorry about it was me being a jerk to you and to Gina."
"What do you see in her anyway?"
"To be honest I'm not really sure."
"So if you don't' know why you're with her then maybe you shouldn't be with her."
"Teagan, I am sure there is something. I just haven't discovered it yet."
"I see," I say. "So I guess this means we are friends and only friends."
"Friends," he says putting his hand out to me.
"Friends," I say with a smile as I shake his hand. "You do make a better friend than you do a lover."
"Are you saying the sex was bad?" he asks.
I let out a laugh, "yeah right," I say. "You can put it down like whoa but the whole breaking hearts thing yeah you're a better friend than a lover."
"You might be right," he says with a laugh. "So you're cool with just being friends."
"I guess," I say, "I mean you are the mac to my cheese, I would be lost without you. I guess if I can't be your girlfriend the next best thing is to be your best friend."
"Teagan, it's the best thing. Relationships come and go but a friendship will last a lifetime."
"True," I say with a smile before I give him a hug and he hugs me back.
*A/N: Do you think Teagan's sister helped her through her issues with Joe? Do you think Teagan was listening? What do you think of Joe staying with Gina? What do you think he sees in her? What do you think of Joe and Teagan being friends? How long do you think being just friends is going to last? Please review and thank-you for reading.
