Dependence

SSJP Fan fiction

Harry Potter

Obsessivedevil23

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.

Chapter 9 - Truth.

When James got back to the Gryffindor common room, it was way after curfew, and he'd had to take a few detours to avoid filch and the demon cat. He fell through the plump lady's portrait with a goofy smile plastered on his face, still dressed in Lily's borrowed clothing, and happy that he was once again able to help out his friend. He had no idea Snape was working on potions at all, let alone one that could actually help out Remus. Not only that but with Snape's guidance he'd been able to hold down half a jacket potato and beans. He bought a hand to his hair and ruffled it. He couldn't help but feel a small tug of affection for the Slytherin, and although that should have made his smile falter, it only made it grow. It did falter, however, when he saw Sirius sat by the fire, sending him a glare. They were about to get into another fight, he could tell.

"…Hey." he said awkwardly, sitting down next to his best friend. Sirius spared him a glance, but other than that brushed him off. James tried again, "Hello Sirius."

"Hello Stranger." was the reply. James sighed. "Where have you been?" questioned the taller boy.

"Down in the Dungeons." answered James honestly, staring at his feet.

"Meeting with your boyfriend?" asked Sirius spitefully. "You came in here looking like you'd had a good fucking." James quickly shook his head, Snape was NOT anything like that, sure he'd not had an entirely unpleasant time but Sirius had obviously lost his mind if he thought James' smile meant he was down there getting off.

"I found Snape…" he said instead, leaving out the fact that he knew exactly where he'd be. Sirius tutted. "I told him to stop worrying Reggie." he added, playing with his shoe laces. Sirius kept his gaze trained on the fire.

"You took your damn time about it. And you shouldn't worry about Regulus so much anyway." he said. James laughed.

"Bit rich, coming from you."

"I'm his brother… and I didn't run off to find some greasy git just because the kid was upset." James leant against the chair, focusing his eyes on the fire. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, Sirius clench his hand into a fist. Sirius glanced across at James. "I also didn't dump my mates in potions to have a chat with said greasy git, or turn against the love of my life and then keep my mates from pranking my worst enemy, or keep making up ridiculous plans and not include my friends… I can't believe you're fine with us pranking Lily, but won't let us prank Snivellus! What the hell's gotten into you?"

James stayed silent, Sirius had stood up during his outburst, and was about to storm up to their dorm. They were practically alone on the common room, except for a few 1st years trying to prove they could stay up late, and the odd 7th year already studying for the NEWTS. Pete, the early riser, was also an early sleeper. And it was getting close to the full moon, so Remus was getting tired easier, and had already gone to bed as well. James caught Sirius' wrist to stop him from leaving. The taller boy growled under his breath.

"Sorry." James apologised, looking him dead in the eyes. Sirius sighed, dislodging his wrist from James' hand.

"I don't care anymore. I'm fucking fed up of your apologising. I want to know the truth! I'm tired of being left in the dark!" James shifted his gaze back to the ground, but stood up, trying to stop Sirius' from leaving.

"I can't…" he trailed off, and felt a hand whack him lightly on the arm.

"Whatever the hell you've got yourself into, we can help." Sirius grabbed the handful of the material of James shirt. Better that then hitting him in frustration. "I don't care how much you fucked up. I'm worried about you!" he said in a loud voice, attracting a few glances from the 1st years, and a wolf whistle from a cocky 7th year who had witnessed their scene in the hall the other day. Sirius gave that person the finger. James glanced over at whoever it was, then placed his hands over the fist Sirius had around his shirt, loosening the hold slightly. He nodded.

"Snape…" he swallowed, and he could feel Sirius' grip tightening again at the mention of the Slytherin's name. "He… saved my life."

Sirius let go of James' shirt.

"He… what?" He asked, taken aback. James just nodded, and Sirius dragged him up the stairs to their dorm, after the 7th year made another comment on their closeness. Sirius pushed James down onto his bed, and then went about making a few loud noises to wake up the other Marauders. Remus sat up, bleary eyed and grouchy, Pete clicked a few joints, then gave his whole attention to whatever Sirius and James had done this time. Sirius, after making sure that Remus wasn't about to fall asleep again, flopped down on his own bed, and turned his eyes to James.

"Explain." he ordered. James nodded, looking at the folds in his sheets.

"Over the summer I got ill… Anyone heard of Flamouriadesis?" Remus gave a small gasp, which James took as a yes. He gave a small, dead chuckle.

"It's terminal…" explained Remus, noticing the other boys confused expressions. "If left alone… It's not pretty…"

"Well, mine was treated, I was given this potion, which makes it go away for a week. Then I have to take another one once the weeks up." the Marauders nodded gravely. "The annoying thing is that, there's only one person alive who actually knows how to brew it…" he sighed.

"Snivellus." Sirius supplied, and James nodded. "So… what happened? Why all the secrecy?" he asked, James blushed, now fiddling with his sheet folds.

"I guess… Me and him -"

"He and I."

"Fuck Remus, he's telling us he's terminally ill and you're correcting his grammar?"

James chuckled.

"Sorry…"

"It's fine!" James smiled at his werewolf friend. Remus gave half of one back. He was worried. "Snape and I struck up a deal… He'll make the potion for me, and I have to do one 'order' a day from him… like today's was to cross dress."

Sirius went faintly green.

"What a pervert…"

James blushed, knowing exactly what Sirius must be thinking.

"It's for the public humiliation." he assured hurriedly. "Cause we picked on him so much… he wants to get back at me. It's perfect. For him anyway…"

"So what happens if you don't 'obey'?" asked Pete. James sighed again, he seemed to be doing a lot of that.

"He won't make the Elixir. Snape likes the potion to be called Elixir." He explained.

"But then, won't you…?" Remus trailed off, turning deathly pale. "That bastard's messing with your life!" he grumbled, trailing off into an inhuman growl. James flinched.

"Well yes…" he agreed. "Please don't remind me."

Remus gave him a pitying look. Sirius just glared at the wall, and Pete decided to speak up.

"So… where do you draw the line?" he asked. Everyone knew what he was on about, but no one else had the guts to voice it. Pete always dealt with the difficult topics. James flinched again, thinking about what things Snape might have forced him to do if he'd been that way inclined. The more time James spent with the Slytherin the safer he felt that all the boy wanted was some revenge and to be left to his own devices, – but if it hadn't been Snape, if it had been some creep who wanted something more… intimate, for his services, what would James have done?

"I don't really like to think about it." he replied, "Look, let's just forget it, okay? I make a fool out of myself anyway, so there will practically be no difference."

"We're not just going to forget about it Prongs!" shouted Sirius. James got more comfortable on his bed, laying down, and dragged the covers over himself. Sirius changed into a dog and pounced on him, making the smaller boy squeak. Sirius changed back.

"This is important, man." he said, sitting on his friend's stomach and looking down at him with dark grey eyes. James leant up, hitting him lightly on the shoulder in an attempt at normalcy.

"I know… but there's nothing anyone can do, except Snape." he mumbled. "I didn't want to tell you, I want to be able to just chill when I'm with my friends." he whined childishly. Sirius nodded once and turned back into a dog, giving James' hand a quick lick before pouncing back over to his adjacent bed.

"You better not die Prongsie." he said when he was back in human form, snuggled under the covers.

"I'm glad you told us." said Remus.

"I'm glad you know." said James, looking at Sirius. Hoping now they wouldn't get into so many fights.

"I'm glad Lily isn't on a rampage to get her clothes back." said Pete, making James remember he still hadn't changed. The boy was tired though, and soon fell asleep, still in the clothes Lily had given him; he'd clean them before giving them back.

_X_

The next day James woke in a cheery mood, way before everyone else, and just looked around at his marauder buddies, smiling serenely. He was glad they now knew, and the fact that they did also meant that Snape had no other excuse not to write down their deal. He quickly changed from lily's clothes to those of his own, and used a cleaning spell on the borrowed items. He thought it probably best he just ditched the knickers, but everything else could be returned. The best thing about today, if Snape kept to his word, was that he was order free!

"You're up early Prongs." said Pete, stretching out his joints and grinning at the Quidditch player. James smiled back, a cheeky grin falling into place.

"Ye~ah…" it came out as a whisper, and he ended up yawning in-between it, so he coughed and tried again. "Yes! I think today's going to be great."

"Good to know you're in such good spirits!" replied Pete, changing into his school uniform. The boy made his way down the staircase into the Gryffindor common room and James heard him say a cheery hello to a few passersby. Monday, Monday, Monday… he thought, a grin slipping easily onto his face. He stumbled into the bathroom to wash the make-up off his face and as he looked into the mirror was almost disappointed to see the Sleekeazy had lost its affects during the night, and his hair was back to a wild bird's nest. He collected Lily's outfit and followed his friend downstairs, grinning at everyone he passed. Perhaps he'd be able to help out more with that potion today, he thought, thinking of the sleeping werewolf upstairs who was suffering because of the full moons proximity. When he arrived in the Gryffindor common room Pete was talking animatedly to a few girls from a couple of years bellow. Pete's boyish good looks made him attractive, but rarely to girls his own age.

It was as he was observing this scene that a hand grabbed his shoulder from behind. He let out a string of swear words, jolting into the air at the contact, and when his body calmed down he held a hand to his chest, where what felt like a firework had gone off inside him.

"Sorry if I scared you…" trailed off a small second year girl. James, who could hear Pete and his girls cracking up behind him at his jumpiness, shook his head slightly.

"Its fine I guess." he mumbled back, fighting the lick of anger that was curling inside his stomach.

"You got an owl." Said the second year, producing a letter from her pocket.

James groaned, whenever he got an owl recently it was from Snape. He grudgingly snatched the letter from the scared second year, who scurried away as soon as possible. He suppressed the angry growl which was trying to make itself known.

Dear James

Oh, so it wasn't from Snape then, that was a relief.

Meet me outside our defense classroom at lunchtime? I'll be waiting.

Lucinda.

James searched back through his mind for someone called Lucinda who he shared Defence Against the Dark Arts with. He vaguely remembered a blonde girl who sat near the back. He smirked nonetheless, as usually when he got notes like this it was to set up a confession. Was this Lucinda going to confess? He hoped she was cute, because damn he needed something to distract himself with, and taking someone out on a couple of dates might be just the way to tell his mind to stop having weird sexually charged thoughts about Severus Snape.