Shattered Chapter Eight

It wasn't often that he found himself scrambling for words, but there was something about this mere human girl that got to him. In his over a millennium of walking the planet, he had never been without a plan, without something to say to cover his ass, but as always, Sookie Stackhouse had thrown him off his game.

It shouldn't really surprise him; she had been doing so since they had met. Even Sookie without her memory was innately Sookie. The thought pleased him to no end.

He tried to pull her off the stool and wrap her into his arms, but she resisted and pushed back against him. He could have easily held her to him, of course, but he never wanted to force her into anything. Never again.

"Well, are you going to answer me or not?" She demanded, waving her ice cream spoon at him, a sight he might have found comical in any other situation.

"I am debating how best to answer you." It was true; he could not be too hasty in his answer, lest he offend her even more. His decisions were laid out in front of him in his mind's eye, like a chess board. He had played through the opening gambit, and was now at the beginning of the middle game. "We have exchanged blood three times. You and I are now permanently bound together… the Vampire version of marriage." He decided the aggressive attack was the best, just get it over with.

He saw it coming, but did nothing to stop it. Her open palm slammed against his cheek. He relished in the brief, stinging pain, and reveled in the anger flowing across the bond. But abruptly, the anger turning into depressing sadness that rolled in waves off of her. He didn't need the bond to know that she was distressed.

"Did I know about this before… whatever happened to me… happened?" She asked, her voice breaking on the last word.

"You did," he replied, hoping she wouldn't pick up on the hesitation in his voice as he answered her, but of course, she did.

She narrowed her eyes, and in that moment, she was a predator hunting down weakened prey. There was blood in the air. "Why do I get the feeling you're not telling me something?" She asked, crossing her arms over chest stubbornly.

"Because I'm not," he replied, and as she opened her mouth indignantly, he cut her off with, "Sookie, I may not tell you everything, but what I do tell you is the truth."

She flinched at his words, and she raised her hand to her head, stepping back weakly. "Sookie?" Eric asked with concern, following after her, but she resisted his embrace.

"I'm fine. I'm just… I feel like I've heard those words before. It's like déjà vu… but… more." She was still rubbing at her head, looking pale and peaked.

"Sit down," he ordered, taking her elbow and gently guiding her to the couch. "Can I get you anything, water?" She was extraordinarily pale, a fact that concerned him, being that she was so tan.

"I don't want water," she spat out scathingly. "I want my memories back!"

He sat down heavily besides her, his head bowed down. "It's the one thing I cannot give you," he said mournfully, wishing he had more answers for her, hating that he could only cause her more confusion. But he couldn't let her go. He was selfish, he knew, but he just couldn't.

She jumped up from the couch at his words, her fists clench and her eyes blazing. "Why not? Why can't you help me?" She had been pacing with her words, but suddenly stopped and whirled around to point an accusing finger at him. "Do you even want to help me? I heard what that Bill person said, and I see the way you look at me! Do you even want me to remember my past?"

She finished her rant, her body heaving and shaking with rage, and the silence stretched out between the two of them, making her even angrier. "ANSWER ME!" She shrieked.

Eric lifted his bowed head, and she gasped to see the little rivers his red tears made down his porcelain face. It was his turn for his voice to break. "I don't know," he admitted honestly. "I don't know if I want you to remember… and it's absurd, because I've done truly awful things, yet wanting to keep you in the dark makes me truly feel like a monster."

She sat down in the chair across from him, torn in indecision. Between wanting to hold onto her anger and get answers and comforting him in his agony.

"Eric, I know you can't give me my memories back," she said softly, and she saw his lips tighten as if he knew there was more to what she was going to say.

"Then what do you want?" He asked, just as softly.

"I want the truth. From your side of the story. Everything. Not just bits and pieces about my life. Not inane little comments about how much I love pecan pie. You may not be able to give me my memories back, but you can sure as hell tell me why they're gone."

"Sookie, ask me anything else but that, please," his voice was a harsh cadence, a damned man begging for mercy.

But she had none for him. "Why not?" She hissed, her face twisted in a mask of rage and hopelessness.

"BECAUSE YOU'LL HATE ME!" He roared out, tearing and clutching at his hair.

She didn't yell back, just narrowed her eyes. "If you would rather me go on living without my memories, just so you can avoid me hating you… then Eric, you really are the monster you believe yourself to be."

He gasped then, a broken sound, the only sound that filled the dark room, until, "What the hell is going on here?"

A/N: Hello again, I know it's been a while, but I'm back now! If you want an update on where I've been, and what my plans/projects are, please visit my profile.

Short? Yes, but then again, most of the chapters have been short, and this one was pretty emotional. It was also a bear for me to get out. I wrote the first three paragraphs and then stared at them for the next two days. Anyways, let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!