Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the song.

Author's note:

:D Presenting Chapter 9! the longest one yet! It's a Jane/Lisbon, Jello, Jisbon fic. xD Call it what you please, please. Not exactly a very sweet fluffy fic though. In fact, it's kind of dark & twisty. I wonder if I can write fluff though. D: Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! :D Do leave a review! Thank you!

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Chapter 9 – Learn My Lesson

Learn My Lesson - Daughtry

You'd think that I'd learn the cost of love
And paid that price long enough
But still I drive myself right through the pain
Well it turns out
I haven't learned a thing

He should have known. Known that he didn't deserve happiness. Didn't deserve a second chance at love. And yet every time he looked at her, he just couldn't look away. It was tempting, very tempting, to reach out and pull her towards him. To hold her close, to smell the lingering scent of shampoo in her hair. He wanted to; god knew how much he wanted her. When he reached out towards her, the sunlight would reflect of his gold wedding band. He would feel the weight of it on his finger, the weight of guilt in his heart. He remembered the promise he made to his wife to love her forever, until the day he died. He was keeping his promise. He still loved his wife, and yet he was in love with Teresa Lisbon at the same time.

It took him months to coax himself into accepting the fact that he had feelings for the petite woman who was currently sitting in her office, chewing on her pen cap. A couple more weeks to sort his emotions out, a few days to work up the courage to actually ask her out to dinner. And when he did, she just stared at him with her jaw dropped. He made a witty remark, which caused her to throw her pen at him. He left her office without an answer.

Right before end of shift, she stood next to couch and said, "Pick me up at 7.30 p.m. If you're late, you can spend your night chatting up a lamppost."

He grinned as she walked away and closed his eyes, she had such a way with words. Rigsby groaned as he handed Cho a 20-dollar bill and Van Pelt went around the bullpen collecting money from all the other agents. He reached out his hand at the redhead.

"You might want to want to pass all that money to me, Grace. Lisbon won't be pleased to know that there was a betting pool for her love life. I'll use it for dinner, make it seem like you guys are somehow contributing to our relationship. A nice touch really."

Van Pelt hesitated and looked at her two other team mates. Rigsby shrugged and nodded while Cho had his brows furrowed. If Lisbon had found out about the betting pool they organised, they would most probably get a dressing down and get assigned to being on stakeouts for a month, all three of them. If they passed the money to Jane, they would lose all their profit. Quick cash and suffer or enjoy their job while earning some money? Best to stay on Lisbon's good side.

"Give him the money. Lisbon is mean when she's angry."

Jane pocketed the thick wad of cash, smiling at his team mates who scowled at him. He was going to buy Lisbon a feast, get her an expensive bottle of that red wine she longed for. He had to thank the team though, without the betting pool, he couldn't put the shocked yet appreciative look on her face. Their first official date was better than planned. Those times when he appeared at her doorstep with a box of pizza and a bottle of Franciscan Merlot 2005 in his hands weren't counted as official dates.

The first time they made love was during the summer. They had a day off from work and went to the beach. She loved the beach since she was young, but she just didn't have the time to go on a regular basis. Her pale skin contrasted with the dark blue sundress she had on, she had her hair up in a messy ponytail and a big smile was present on her face. They intended to have a walk along the shore, but ended up in the water, splashing water at each other. He had surrendered after the ten minute long battle, she laughed at him before pulling him underwater. That started another water fight. He had peeled the wet sundress off her. She was glowing with the light from the sunset washing over her. That evening under the stars, he showed her exactly how much he loved her.

He had moved in with her a few months after, she asked him to. They spent evening curled up on her couch, watching reruns of crime drama series or old movies on her television. She would wake up every morning in his arms and there would be blueberry pancakes waiting for her on the dining table after her bath. It was almost as though they were married, almost. Married couples didn't really talk about their dead spouses and child or try to talk their husbands out of killing a murder of said dead spouses and child. And he never really got around to asking her to marry him. Now wasn't time. Not with Red John still on the loose and currently very active.

Minelli had sent him home early. His patience for the consultant's behaviour was wearing thin, exceptionally thin today. Lisbon was hurt during a shootout that happened because of the blonde's irresponsible actions that allowed Red John to slip out of the CBI's reach. One of his agents was hurt, the Attorney General was breathing down his neck regard the lack of control on Jane. He had no choice but to order their consultant to leave the CBI building and head home, maybe go visit Lisbon in the hospital. He could go anywhere, just not here.

He went by the apartment first, planning to pick up some things that Lisbon had told him to get for her. He took two steps at a time up the stair, whistling at the same time. Digging his pockets for the keys, he thought about getting her a bunch of flowers to apologise for his stupidity earlier that day. He didn't register the keys slipping out of his loose grip, the sound of keys dropping on the floor. On the white wooden door was a note. The red smiley stood out against the white paper. Patrick Jane reached out and pulled off the note. He forced himself to read it.

"Dear Mr Jane,

Ms Lisbon has such beautiful green eyes, doesn't she? Just like your wife. It must have been the first thing you noticed about her. You must love her dearly to be able to get over your grief, however little that may be.

You know what happens to people you love, don't you, Mr Jane? "

The ever-present red smiley was there. It was mocking him; he crushed the note and rushed to his car. He couldn't lose Lisbon, not her. He sped down the roads to the hospital, ignoring the red lights and traffic police chasing after him.

He ran down the hallways, blood pounding in his ears. He ignored the protests of the people around him, he had to see Lisbon. He pushed the door to her room open, and stared at her empty bed. She was gone, she was gone. There was blood, her blood, on the sheets, a few small blots on the pillow. He slid to the ground, his legs couldn't hold him. His hands were shaking uncontrollably as he speed dialed the CBI headquarters. He had no idea who picked up, he didn't care.

"She's gone, he took her," Van Pelt, it was Van Pelt who answered the call. He heard her relaying the message to Cho and Rigsby. She told him that they on their way there.

"Wait for us, Jane. Don't do anything stupid, please."

Don't do anything stupid? He already did. He pulled Lisbon into this mess. He was the one who asked her out to dinner, he was the one who made love to her under the stars on the beach, he was the one who moved into her apartment, he was the one who got her shot in the first place. He was stupid enough to fall in love with her. He should have learnt his lesson when he found his wife and child brutally murdered. He should have known that Red John was watching his every move, should have known that Red John would do everything in his power to make him suffer. He should have known, should have learnt his lesson. It was his fault, his fault that Lisbon was somewhere else now, probably being tortured or killed. And if she died, it would be on his head. If she died, he would need more than a locked room and a psychiatrist to get him back to his feet.

Cho, Rigsby, Van Pelt and Menilli arrived approximately 5 minutes after he called them. They had brought another SCU team with them. Van Pelt volunteered to stay with him, the rest went off to do whatever they were assigned to. Questioning, finding the security tapes, searching. He just stayed on the visitor's chair next to Lisbon's empty hospital bed. He could feel Van Pelt hovering behind him, she was unsure of what to say to him.

"You don't have to say anything, Grace."

She tried to say something but the ringing of a cell phone cut her off. Jane pulled his out from his pocket and stared at the screen. Caller ID stated that it was Lisbon, he flipped his phone open and pressed it to his ear. All he could hear was labored breathing and soft whimpering.

"Lisbon? Teresa, where are you?" Van Pelt took a step closer to the consultant who held up a finger to stop her. "Teresa, say something." He strained his ears, trying to hear anything that could indicate her location.

Seconds ticked by, and instead of the sounds of breathing and whimper, laughter took over. A maniacal laughter. One that he had heard before in a cheap motel room in Tijuana, with Lisbon sitting right next to him. The laughter went on and on, then the line cut off. He stared at his phone, the photo of Teresa and him as his wallpaper. She was gone, he was left with nothing now. Red John took everything away.