Postcards From Italy
The week after her brother's wedding had been quiet for Kagome. Sesshoumaru had left early from the reception, after only an hour of sitting together outside. He claimed he had a flight to catch the next day so Kagome just smiled and let him go. The silence between them was uncomfortable and she couldn't help but be slightly jealous at everyone at the party having fun while she was sulking in the corner. Desperately, Kagome wanted things to go back to the way they were before, at least to stop the tension that permeated the air whenever they were near each other. Part of this was her fault. She shouldn't have expected much from Sesshoumaru. He didn't do emotions; she knew this.
She wanted him to kiss her at the business party. She had wanted it since she first laid eyes on him. It would change everything. But things had already changed. She couldn't help but wish it was because he kissed her and they were in that stage right before they decided to enter a relationship instead of the awkward display of trying to pretend that the night of the business party didn't happen.
She was sure they had a moment that night. She was sure that he felt something for her. But she knew Sesshoumaru better than most. He didn't know how to deal with the situation. She was sure that he had his fair share of girlfriends; he was just that gorgeous. But as far as romance and love were concerned, Kagome knew he had no experience. She debated calling Inuyasha for advice; after all, he knew more about Sesshoumaru than she ever could. She had not known him as long as she had her other friends. If this was Sango, Miroku, Shippo or even her brother, she would know how to fix it. Although, she thought to herself, it probably helped that she had never held romantic interest for anyone that was that close to her. It would certainly complicate things.
Sighing, Kagome laid on the couch, staring at the ceiling, searching somehow for an answer to all her problems. Things were not going to magically fix themselves. In her week of ruminating on the topic, she had only come up with two options: tell Sesshoumaru how she felt or move on. Those were the only ways she could think of to try and ease the strain on their relationship. She would have loved nothing more than to call Sesshoumaru and hash this all out, but she couldn't. According to his secretary, he was in Italy for the next few weeks, working on an extensive business deal. It frustrated her to no end to know that this would be hanging over her head for the next few weeks. She wanted to give up, she really did. The longer this went on, the more her resolve faded.
Sometimes, she thought, it just wasn't worth it. What would happen if they did get together? It was awkward enough between then dancing around the feelings that she had and he might have. What if when they got together, there was nothing there but awkward moments and uncomfortable silences? And what if they broke up? Kagome had gotten used to him in her life, she really had. She enjoyed his company and looked forward to seeing him. She didn't know if she would ever get tired of him, but there was a possibility. And what if he got tired of her? She couldn't imagine life without him. She paced the room, too anxious with her thoughts to stay in one place. When that no longer helped she went outside. She wanted to scream, to throw something, to cry; anything to make her thoughts subside for the day and allow her to think about something, anything else. Worrying about this was consuming her.
She sighed and got the mail from the box outside her door and sat down at her kitchen table. Perhaps bills would distract her, momentarily from her thoughts. She flipped through the stack of envelopes, tossing aside the junk credit card offers and local circulars, separating out the electric bill and the water bill. She paused suddenly as a picture of St. Marks Square stared back at her. She clutched it with both hands, the rest of the mail falling lightly onto the table. Hastily she turned it over and smiled, reading the message on the back.
Thinking of you,
Sesshoumaru
She read it again and again, the three word message springing forth a gush of hope in her. He cared. He had too. They were going to make this work. This was something worth pursuing. She clutched the postcard close to her heart and sighed happily.
Tomorrow, she decided, she would call Inuyasha.
