Genma blinked. "You want me to go with you?"
Kakashi hummed in the affirmative, signaling Hayate behind his back, who quietly cackled and replaced Genma's drink with soy sauce. "We could use your help."
"We." Genma repeated, leaning against the bar to peer at Gai. "Oh boy, the hell is this about?"
Kakashi shrugged. "The Academy fucked up, and I'm off to demand an explanation."
Hayate's muffled coughs echoed a little, and it took him a second to work up the breath to speak. "The Academy?" Hayate wiped his mouth, nodding gratefully at Genma, who waved him off.
Gai, leaned over, weights securely back in place. "Indeed. The genin Kakashi received seemed slightly deficient in the basics of training and ninjutsu." He sighed gustily. "Truly a shame."
Genma blinked, trading odd glances with Hayate. "Are you...never mind." He downed his cup of soy sauce without a fucking blink, stood up, and placed a needle firmly in his mouth. "We'll both come and help."
The bartender whistled from the corner, long and slow.
Hayate nodded, walking off to pay his tab with the bartender. Genma leaned in to Kakashi's raised brow, and whispered. "Yuugao's on a mission again. Long one this time, Hayate's all out of sorts. Let 'im have some fun." Kakashi nodded faintly, and snapped back to his dead-eyed stare when Hayate returned. "Well then, let's head out."
—
"HAAAAAAAAAANH?"
Kakashi had to physically restrain himself from tearing Genma's hair out. The noise was so loud, so irritatingly obnoxious that even the fact that he'd asked Genma wasn't enough to hold back the murderous intent.
The desk-chuunin manning the entry desk to the Academy got the full brunt of this.
She pushed up thin-rimmed frames gently, pursing her lips and generally seemed to be trying to not yell back. "Sir, please, you must quiet down. The Hokage himself has ordered that jounin not be permitted anywherenear the-"
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGH?"
Shame they didn't care to return the favor. Genma's ability to be murderously irritating on call made him an excellent distraction, and the secretary had already managed to miss Gai slipping by.
Hayate pulled Genma aside, then banished even the brief look of relief on her face by leaning his sickly features way too close. "You must forgive my friend." He rasped. "He-" Hayate doubled over in loud coughs that were only mostly put on, and the secretary-nin looked like she couldn't decide whether to help him up or finish him off.
Genma was there to pick up the slack though, and kicked Hayateinto the table. A spray of blood and a heaving Hayate made their way on top of the now precariously burdened furnishing, groaning under the weight of forms and reports. Hayate took a little too much pleasure smearing blood on them.
And then the secretary-desk-chuunin began screaming and Hayate just started kicking papers onto the floor while feigning a heart attack.
Really, Kakashi might have even felt bad as he slipped by, if he wasn't aware that this was all that the secretary-nin's life was and that by doing this they were probably giving her new lease.
A whole new pile of documents to write, organize, sign, categorize, triplicate and file! How exciting!
No, Kakashi felt deeply proud of himself indeed, as he kicked over every wastebasket he passed. He'd be sure to accept their Thanks on the way out. Genma and Hayate too, since he'd given them free reign on messing with the bureaucracy for a couple hours, and the right to pin that shit on him.
Good deeds for the day complete, Kakashi kicked a window out and dove through, rolling to his feet on what the Academy called training facilities.
Gai was already there, weeping gently as he stared at what was essentially a dirty ring drawn in the dirt. That would be the ring part of the sparring "ring", Kakashi assumed. Ah, modern education, so much done and yet so little accomplished.
Kakashi ambled over, and gently patted Gai on the shoulder. "You can be the first to burn it."
"Burn what?"
Two head snapped to the side, homing in on a silver-haired chuunin who took a step back. "Whoa, whoa," the silver haired man blinked. "What're you do-oh I see." He sighed and rubbed his hair, bunching it up into weird lumps and curls. "You're jounin right? Scouting out the students?"
He grinned. "Sorry, but Lord Hokage says you're not allowed to be here."
Kakashi's eye narrowed. "Says...you?"
The man nodded. "That's right. Name's Mizuki, and I already know who you two are of course. Hatake and Maito right?"
Gai stood up, tearing his eyes away from the ring, and gave Mizuki a smile. "That is correct. We're here to inspect the academy."
Mizuki's smile dimmed like it was dark out. "I...I'm sorry? You're not allowed."
"We must audit the Academy," Gai said firmly. "I wish to inspect the facilities to ensure that the children are getting the best education possible."
Mizuki had stopped smiling altogether, and was slowly growing alarmed, as Gai simply began marching towards the buildings. Kakashi followed along, looking at the premises with a practiced eye for discrepancies.
He found none. Unsurprising, since he couldn't even remember the place. A year or something in and out, and he'd never looked back. He couldn't even tell if this place was good or not.
Good thing Mizuki was here to give the game away every time.
"The buildings seem kinda dirty." Kakashi said idly.
Mizuki frowned. "They seem plenty clean, we have students handle that weekly." He played with his bottom lip a little, tugging at it.
"Do you."
Mizuki blinked.
"Yes...?"
"But why are students being left to handle such a task?"
Mizuki straightened a little, yet paradoxically seemed to relax. A practiced answer then. "The students are granted a surfeit of energy, but lack the responsibility and sense of duty that will later accompany such powers. We try to temper this by ensuring that they are occasionally humbled and their pride broken with menial tasks to ensure they remain compliant and obedient."
Kakashi nodded, impressed. A perfect answer. The academy had practiced for such occasions, despite not expecting them. Interesting.
Or perhaps it wasn't theAcademy that had practiced for such things.
Gai grabbed the ball from where Kakashi had left it. "Ah, but do you not fear stamping out their youthful vigor?"
Mizuki coughed. "It isn't an issue. Rather, most Genin tend to come in far too anticipatory of violence and subterfuge. Jounin senseis have been complaining that their students are too jaded. Through systematic shattering of their hopes and dreams, we can allow Jounin-sensei's to rekindle that spark of awe as necessary to motivate their students."
Gai bit his lip, and Kakashi chose not to follow up. Mizuki had earned his smugness it seemed.
Not bad for a disappointment.
They continued walking, the squat buildings seemingly uniform in their stark banality. The dirt road they traversed was churned to mud at some points, though Kakashi noticed that Mizuki traversed it nearly as easily as he did.
"How long have you been a teacher?" Kakashi asked pleasantly. Mizuki laughed a little, far more relaxed than he had been before. "Long enough, you know? Years start melting together, I can barely tell anymore."
An open non-answer, but confident enough that Kakashi couldn't press. More and more, Kakashi began to wonder why his students were so pathetic with teachers like this man around.
Or perhaps...
Seventeen signs to Gai, a modified anbu bodyspeech he'd modified with a select few for occasions like now, culminated with three twitches of his left pectoral and a hip thrust to punctuate it. Gai nodded confidently.
Kakashi spoke, making sure Gai knew to follow up.
"So Mizuki, where's the next stop on our tour?"
Mizuki absently sidestepped a pothole. "I figured you wanted to see where the shuriken and kunai training happens."
Gai seemed to be beyond caring, wading through the mud with the force of a plow.
"What of ninjutsu or Genjutsu training?"
Mizuki laughed, and Kakashi made sure to match him in tone. "No one trusts children with Ninjutsu or Genjutsu." He smirked at Kakashi, who very obviously agreed with him. Kakashi nodded vigorously, throwing Gai a scornful look while he was sure Mizuki was looking.
As soon as Mizuki turned away, they began pantomiming badly, Kakashi sweeping his hair back and flouncing through the mud while Gai began goose-stepping with an imaginary whip in hand.
They snapped back to a normal walk cycle when Mizuki looked around in confusion.
Hm.
Above-chuunin hearing and awareness, bold, confident while dealing with obvious superiors, seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of Jounin, skill attributed to long use despite his dynamic chakra manipulation being of an elemental nature, and general social awareness that chuunin didn't usually have.
Either a spy, anbu, or Izumo in a wig.
Kakashi wouldn't put it past him. Lazy prick.
But there was only one way to tell.
Kakashi patted him on the back. "Hey Izumo, why are you still awake?"
Mizuki whipped around. "Snake?!" He shot Kakashi an alarmed look, that slowly withered to his base swagger. "What?"
Kakashi coughed a little. "Nice wig Izumo."
Mizuki continued staring at him, a look of deep confusion in his eyes. Kakashi and Gai exchanged disappointed looks. Not Izumo then. Fuck, that meant there weretwo chuunin Kakashi found tolerable. What a fucking mistake.
Kakashi poked Mizuki in the shoulder.
"Wha-"
Gai socked him so hard he flipped in midair and went facefirst into the dirt with a tremendous wave of mud, a ring of blood exploding out and splashing high into the sky. Kakashi turned away a little so it didn't get in his good eye.
Well, not anbu then.
Guess he had to be a spy.
Kakashi clapped. "Let's keep going!"
"Wh-why...?" Mizuki croaked from where he lay in the dirt, dirty face slightly upraised and hand outstretched.
Gai grabbed his hand and hauled him to his feet. "You had a fly on your face," he explained brushing him off.
"Oh..."
Kakashi took great pleasure in Mizuki's deep befuddlement. They were finally back at his pace.
"Let's keep going!" He cheered.
