I own no part of SON

Peace and love to all!

I've enjoyed getting to know her better over these last few days; it's even been nice to really talk to her at school. This fear that eats away at me is getting easier to deal with and her smile makes facing my fears worth it.

Now here we sit on the coolest evening I've experienced since I've been in L.A. The stars are shining unusually bright and they light up the night enough that I can make out her face in the darkness.

Her chocolate eyes are broken and I can tell she's debating on whether or not to really talk to me about this. Ashley's skin is cool under my hand as I lay a comforting hand on her arm.

"Please Ash, you can talk to me."

I watch her take a shaky breath and with trembling hands light up another disgusting cigarette. I notice she smokes a lot when she's nervous.

"I was fourteen when it happened."

She pauses and takes another long drag from her cigarette, unshed tears already brimming around her beautiful eyes. I wait patiently for her to continue and I can tell this is hard for her.

"So anyway, I had just started high school and I used to run with Madison. Yeah, yeah Madison and I were friends. She took me to this party and I was so excited I mean it was my first high school party."

Ashley looks at me with eyes that seem to beg for me to ask her to stop but I need to know. Something about this part of her life I need to know. When I don't say anything she sighs and flicks her cigarette onto the sidewalk, a spark bouncing on the concrete.

"I started drinking because, well everyone told me I should. Someone turned off the lights and I got dizzy all of a sudden."

Tears start running down her face and she stares off into the distance.

"I ended up in some random room with this senior guy. He started taking my clothes off but I said no. Spencer I said no."

She starts sobbing so I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. Ashley sobs into my neck and this wasn't what I was expecting. She was so young. God my poor Ashley. I stroke her hair and rock her in my arms until she stops sobbing.

"Ash, have you ever told anyone what happened?"

Her twitchy fingers light another cigarette and it seems to calm her down some.

"No, you uh you're the first person. Not even Kyla knows. So to forget I turned to drugs, alcohol, and sex with women but uh I ended up sleeping with one more guy before I figured out I didn't like them at all. That one time got me pregnant."

Her voice has turned bitter and she frowns into the smoke surrounding her. It hurts me to see her so upset, hurting so badly.

"Ash, I am so sorry."

A sad smile is tossed my way carelessly and she looks exhausted.

"Yeah, I'm ok now. I really am."

I know she's ok now and I know why she's ok. The fact that I wasn't the one to help her makes a sharp stab of jealousy course through me.

"I'm really glad Jillian helped you so much."

Ashley nods absently and her shoulders slouch as we sit in silence. She rearranges herself in the darkness and her head ends up on my shoulder, the rest of her body pressed up against mine.

"Spence, tell me something happy."

My fingers find their way into her hair making her sigh contentedly. Fireflies dance across the front yard, exploding with light every few feet. They make me smile and remind me of when Ashley used to catch them for me.

"Hmm something happy…I've loved spending time with you recently."

She adjusts so her chin is resting on my shoulder and her eyes scan my face. The way she looks at me makes me feel so exposed but not in a bad way. There's a smile tugging at her lips and it makes me grin.

"Yeah me too."

We sit together on those cold steps until we both end up falling asleep. The first signs of dawn wake me up and I notice two things right away. First, someone and I'm going to guess Kyla, has draped a blanket over us. Second Ashley's face is tucked into the crook of my neck with her body curled around mine.

The sun is just starting to peak over the horizon and the sky is reddish orange right now. Ashley mumbles something in her sleep and nuzzles further into me. We used to sleep like this when we were kids, the memory gets me to smile down at my friend.

"Spence, go back to sleep."

Her raspy voice is even rougher in the morning hours and slurred with sleepiness. I chuckle trying to stretch but the death grip she has on me won't allow me to really move.

"Ashley, I have to go home. We still have school today."

Her are closed and I can't stop myself from brushing me fingers over her cheek, fire erupting beneath my fingertips. Jesus, what the hell was that?

I pull my hand back and just stare at her before wriggling away from her warmth. The early morning air is cool and the dew from the grass makes the lawn appear plastic like.

One last glance back at Ashley tells me she's fallen back into a deep sleep, her mouth twitching as she dreams.

"Sweet dreams Ash."

It's then I realize I don't have any way to get home except walk. Well this isn't working out how I wanted it to. With a groan and shrug I'm off to my house, five long miles looming in front of me. Yes I could have called Madison or Aiden or even more likely Glen but I didn't want to answer their questions yet. I didn't want them to ruin my Ashley induced high.

All too soon my dull brown house appears in the distance with my sweaty twin outside shooting a basketball at the hoop. My cell phone shows that it's about 7:15am so I still have time for a shower and breakfast.

"Yo Spence, where you been?"

Glen wipes some sweat off his forehead before bouncing the ball my way. With one hand I throw it towards the hoop and it goes through with an easy swish. I face him with a smirk just in time to see his eyes roll all the way around.

"I was at a friend's house."

His ice blue eyes that match my own travel over me suspiciously and I can tell he knows there's more to the story.

"Was it Aiden's? Are you sleeping with him?"

Glen gets in my face all angry and protective like. If it wasn't so annoying or infuriating I'd be flattered, maybe.

"Glen it's none of your business who I was with last night, and no I wasn't with Aiden."

Now I'm the one getting in his face and a kind of fear flashes across his face. Yeah he's afraid of me, the pansy.

"Oh…right, sorry sis. Well where were you then? But if you're going to get mad it's ok you don't have to answer."

He cringes and then grins at me, his blue eyes sparkling. I can see he's kidding with me and I shove him in the shoulder as I roll my eyes. We walk with his arm around my shoulders back into the house.

My burly brother grabs two bottles of water from the fridge and throws me one, some condensation splashing on me. I perch myself on a stool and watch Glen start to make us pancakes. He's become my father, my best friend. Glen has grown up so much over the past few months and he seems to be more of an adult than my mother some days.

"Glen, I don't want you to date Madison."

I cringe because the last thing I want is for him to be mad at me but I have to be honest with him. The soft look on his face when he turns around comforts me and hot tears spring to my eyes. God, not more crying.

"Hey Spence, hey it's ok. Shh don't cry sis."

My hand wave stops him from grabbing me to comfort me. The thought of him hugging me just makes me want to cry harder.

"Glen she's horrible, I hate her."

He sits across from me and takes one of my hands in his own. Sometimes when I look at him all I see is dad. It hurts so much.

"Is that the real reason you're so upset? It's ok to miss him Spence, I do. I miss him every day."

The unshed tears shining in his eyes only make me cry harder. I hate seeing him upset. We both sit with tear streaked cheeks until it's time for school and I want nothing more than to curl up under the covers of my bed.

Pulling into school the first thing I notice is the brunette leaning against the front entrance, a cigarette in one hand and a coffee in the other. Almost as if she can feel my gaze her eyes meet mine and she grins happily at me.

"Spence?"

I look at my brother and he smiles softly.

"Yeah Glen?"

"It'll be ok."

With those words and a quick kiss to the forehead Glen jogs off after Madison. The sight of them arguing immediately makes me feel happy but in a guilty way.

"Hey ya snuck out on me."

Her raspy voice makes me smile and a hot coffee is handed to me while a cigarette is flicked behind her.

"I tried to wake you but you sleep like a dead person."

She chuckles as she stares at me and I notice how close she's standing to me. I guess it should bother me but after last night a whole new set of rules exist.

"How's the coffee?"

The bitter liquid is scalding but the caffeine is needed, especially after my early morning. Her dark eyes twinkle in the morning light and I notice that her counterpart is missing.

"Uh coffee's good, where's Jillian?"

She doesn't stop smiling at me and it's making me a little bit self conscious. The way she looks at me is so intense yet so warm.

"She's running late, like usual and Kyla is-coming right behind you, heads up."

Before I can even turn around the whirlwind that is Kyla hugs me tight making some of my coffee spill on the hot concrete.

"Good morning Spencer! How late did you stay last night?"

Ashley cocks an amused eyebrow my way as I try to stutter out an answer.

"Not too late Ky, don't you worry your pretty little head about it. Spencer was just telling me about her English class project. It sounds fascinating."

I watch Kyla's eyes start to glaze over as Ashley talks about classic literature and Shakespeare. When someone Kyla knows walks by she jumps at the opportunity to talk to anyone who isn't her sister.

Once Kyla is gone Ashley looks at me with a triumphant smile.

"Ashley Davies, you are too mean."

Right as she opens her mouth to answer a familiar pair of arms wrap around her from behind.

"Ash, good morning. Spencer."

Jillian pecks Ashley's cheek and sends me an almost nice look. Well this is my cue to leave while I'm still ahead.

"I gotta go to class. Thanks for the coffee Ash, bye Jillian."

As I walk away I can hear muffled angry words from both girls and my boyfriend is waiting for me by my locker, peachy.

"Hey Spence, where did you disappear to last night? I really wanted you to come hang out at my place."

He gives me a dazzling smile complete with dimples. Aiden really is a good guy, I should cut him some slack.

"Hmm what are you doing after practice today? Because I miss my boyfriend."

His green eyes shine bright as he leans down to kiss me as the bell rings harshly above us. Aiden gives me a smile before jogging off to class leaving me alone in the quiet hallway.

"Skipping class? Bad Spencer."

I don't have to turn around to know who is talking, the smell of cigarette smoke and the raspiness of her voice telling me Ashley is standing there. She's smirking at me with pure amusement written all over her face, she's something else.

"Yeah for once, I am."

Her crooked smile makes me feel warm inside and she holds out her hand for me to take.

"Come on, I'm skipping too."

And just like when we were kids I'm back to following the daring brunette to wherever she'll take me.

Thank you all. I love the reviews.

xoxo