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Following our first kiss, the months flew by with haste. Winter break has just begun and I was looking forward to spending more time with Waverly than usual (the term "inseparable" has been thrown around a lot by my mother these last couple of months, especially after we insisted we go out on one outing for both of our eighteenth birthdays which were a week apart at the beginning of December). Despite this closeness, we never put a label on our relationship. We were just us. The lack of the label didn't seem to bother either of us. The only thing that nagged at my mind was that I still hadn't told my mother, and we don't keep secrets from one another. Hiding from the rest of the world, at this stage in life, was fine. It was maybe even necessary. High school kids could be cruel. Our, whatever this was, well that was just for us. Just ours. Our privacy was paramount. Not telling my mother, however? It's starting to crush me a little. I guess it's time Waverly and I figure out what we are, what we are doing, where we are going. We need to be filling out university applications, so it would be great to understand where we stand before that whole rigmarole.
We are laying in my bed and she's pressed up against my body with her head on my shoulder. She's running her hands deliciously up and down my side as a play in her hair. I finally muster the courage to have this conversation with her. My mother always told me if I could muster up 10 seconds of insane courage I could get through anything. Lying here with Waverly, looking into her gorgeous eyes, I manage. I need to know where we are at. I need to know it all. Right now.
"Wave?"
"Mmmhm?"
"What are we?"
Her brows knit together, understandably, the question is out of the blue and with no context. My bravery is failing me, however, and it was hard enough to mutter those three simple words.
"I mean, um, where do you see this going…this thing between us? We've been in this secret little world of our own for four months now and that's fine. That's perfectly okay. I lo...like this little bubble we are in. I 'm not asking because I want to go shout it from the rooftops. I just need to know, for me…I need to know what you're thinking."
I lick my bottom lip and gently suck it into my mouth, my quite obvious nervous tell. Waverly's staring into my eyes, but her eyes are unreadable to me which makes me feel more vulnerable than I have in a very long time. I lower my eyes to break away from the scrutiny of her gaze. The silence seems to extend for a millennia before she speaks. Her voice is soft and so is the hand that is raising my chin again to meet her eyes.
"I don't know what we are, Nicole. That's something we need to figure out together. What I do know is that the only place I feel safe and at home in this entire world is right here with you. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. You're in every single one of my dreams, including my day dreams when I am fully awake. You're the only person in this whole world I trust with everything and the only person I let my guard down around. I've always felt I needed to hide things from people to protect myself. It was always the most logical choice and it consistently served me well. When I look into your eyes, though, and I see that smile I can't help but let you in. You told me really early in our relationship that you would never ask me to be something I'm not. You never have and you're the only person in my life who hasn't. You're the most incredibly patient person I've ever met and you've been wonderful as I've fumbled through all these new realizations about myself. See, you've known for a while, who you are and what you want, but I only just figured it out when I met you, and it was sealed when we kissed. So I've been fumbling through this, and what a beautiful fumble it's been."
She takes a breath, collecting her thoughts and I wait, knowing she needs the silence to work out whatever is going on in that beautiful brain of hers.
"I guess that was a lot of words to say something I could have said with four. Nicole…"
She breathes my name out, and I don't think I've ever heard my name spoken so exquisitely.
"I love you. I have for a bit now. I knew it, I just…I could see it in your eyes, that you loved me. I could tell by all the little things you've said and done unless I am totally out of line here…"
She looks at me, and suddenly she's so nervous. I can tell she's holding her breath, waiting to see if she's said too much. Waiting to see if she was wrong about my feelings for her. The swell inside my chest and the lump in my throat after hearing she loves me…there aren't any words that could ever be sufficient to describe what I'm feeling now. I imagine this what be nirvana feels like. I need her to feel the same thing, I need her to know that she's not wrong. I break my brain out of its reverie, finally managing to respond.
"Baby, I would have waited forever for you to figure it out as long as that meant I got to spend my time with you and make you smile. Of course I love you, Waverly Earp, how could I not?"
Waverly lets out the breath in a sigh of relief. She kisses me then, long, deep, and slow. If there was a single other person on this Earth at that moment I don't think either of us realized it.
"It took me a little to realize I trusted you so completely and that everything I was feeling soaring inside of me was love. I felt safe to take that time to figure it out because I knew you'd never rush me, you'd just love me quietly and wait for me to catch up at my own pace, like you've always done. When I think about where I want my life to be tomorrow, ten days from now, a year from now, ten years from now…I don't envision a single circumstance that doesn't feature you prominently. You're the only person I want to be with. I hope that's an okay answer..."
The small, hopeful, smile that has been gracing my lips since the beginning of this conversation now stretches the entirety of my face.
"I couldn't think of a better answer if I tried."
She's kissing me again, rolling herself on top of me. I promptly shift my weight so I am back on top, grinning at her and tossing a wink before returning to the kiss. The kiss is nothing like the ones we've shared previously. While they've always had fire it was nothing to compare to this. They were a heavily controlled camp fire and this was a raging forest fire spreading in a wind storm. When I kiss and gently nip at the pulse point on her neck she lets out a soft moan. It intensifies the small but delicious thrumming in my lower body tenfold. Her hands are up my shirt, urgently seeking purchase on my skin as mine slide up hers. She has the softest and warmest skin I've ever felt and my hand melds to it as I drag my hand up under her bra, tugging lightly at the centre. She lets out a moan of pure desperation and grabs my head forcefully to bring my lips back upon hers. I am more than happy to acquiesce. We only break the kiss when she demands removal of my shirt with her hands. Feeling it was only fair to be in the same state of undress, I remove hers as well and gasp at the sight of her. It is with trembling hands that Waverly reaches around me to remove my bra. I clear the haze in my mind, just for a moment, just to make sure she's certain. I pull up from her a bit, pulling her hands out of reach of my bra.
"Wave…? Are you sure? Baby, you're trembling. We can stop…"
"Nicole Haught if you do not bring your unbelievably sexy body down here to me again you're going to be in a world of trouble."
"Well, I wouldn't want that."
I grin at her and lower myself back on top of her. As she reaches behind me again, her hands are steady, her kisses are passionate but sure. When I wrap my arms around her to remove her bra, trail, mine already discarded on the floor, our abdomens touch and the contact sends a blazing trail straight to my core. Waverly staring at me wolfishly, I let out a sigh as the bra falls away from her. My hands are roaming, further and further south while I'm kissing her with every ounce of passion I have inside me for this girl. When I reach the waistband and of her pants and she nods at me I know I'm about to come completely undone by this incredible girl.
Shit, I'm in trouble, but it's the most delectable kind.
