A/N: Happy Holidays, everyone. And as a day-late gift, here's a chapter! Expect another chapter any day soon. Hope all of you had a good Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa.
Be merry!
PS: As always, we pimp the LJ community of Sobi Fans! Check my profile page for the link. )
"…he's reassured us that they will find a way." Captain Panaka's report ended up as a lightly-veiled warning to the younger Jedi. If looks could kill, Sabé had no doubt that Obi-Wan would be dead twice over. The Jedi in question, however, looked perfectly unbothered with the captain's glare.
"If there's anyone who can get us out of here, it's Master Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan was equally quick to move to his master's defense. He was all business again, and when she met him at the hall for their breakfast, he made no indication of greeting her beyond his professional capacity. She was thankful for his discretion, but was surprised to feel a twinge of disappointment at it.
But it was a just a twinge. No matter.
"As much as we have faith in Master Qui-Gon, we must open ourselves to other alternatives." Sabé said, after some thought. She flicked her eyes to Obi-Wan. "Jedi Kenobi, do you think it is possible for us to establish a link with any our allies in the Outer Rim?"
"I'm sorry to say, your Highness, but it's highly improbable." Obi-Wan replied.
Her face showed no reaction. "Then make it less improbable, Jedi Kenobi." She said coolly, standing up. Obi-Wan seemed slightly startled with this, but merely bowed in response. "If your master fails, communication with our allies may be our only hope."
"He will not fail." Obi-Wan stressed, a little less diplomatically than usual.
"That is yet to be seen." Sabé countered before standing up. The two men bowed before her as she turned to leave the throne room. She couldn't see Obi-Wan's face, and wondered what he was thinking.
Of course, as soon as they were in the privacy of the queen's quarters, Eirtaé was the first to speak. "Maybe you shouldn't have said that." And as an afterthought, she added, "You might have given too much away."
Rabé looked reluctant to agree with Eirtaé, but she, too had to comment. "You were being too harsh on the Jedi, Sabé. They're doing everything that they can."
Sabé closed her eyes and sighed loudly. "I know. But our people are in danger. Padmé is still out there, exposed. We don't have time for second-guessing."
"Then don't second-guess them." Eirtaé suggested, pulling off her cloak's hood and pulling free her long, blonde hair. "Kenobi did tell us about our monetary problems. To Panaka, no less, despite the fact that Master Qui-Gon didn't want him to."
"We're also worried, Sabé, but it seems in this situation, patience is our ally." Rabé said soothingly. She checked something on her datapad. "We'll have a briefing with Captain Panaka in an hour, but you don't have to be dressed for that."
"That, at least, is good news. I've been exhaling in this dress for over an hour." Sabé remarked dryly. She glanced out of the room's viewport. "Will the sandstorm last long, I wonder?"
"It usually takes a day or two before it quiets down." Rabé informed her. "It won't take too long."
"Didn't the Jedi look slightly off-put when Sabé ordered him to improve the communication systems?" Eirtaé suddenly asked as she helped Sabé out of her overdress.
"Did he, now?" Sabé asked, trying to sound disinterested. Eirtaé was, after all, the master of reading the slightest emotional undercurrent in people.
"It was surprising, to say the least. Surprising to see him show any kind of emotion at all." Eirtaé said lightly as she hung up the dress.
Rabé looked at Eirtaé with a raised eyebrow. "Eirtaé, I can't believe you just said that, after admonishing Sabé here to treat the Jedi better."
Eirtaé shrugged. "It was merely an observation. He's like a very advanced droid, sometimes. Are all Jedi like that?"
"You tell us, Eirtaé. You're the only one here who's ever been on Coruscant." Sabé replied, as she began to remove her face paint, hoping that they would get off the subject of the Jedi as soon as possible. For some reason, it was making her nervous.
"Senator Palpatine never had many dealings with the Jedi, if he could afford it." Eirtaé said thoughtfully. "Sometimes I think he almost disliked them."
"Disliked? How can a politician dislike someone who can work for their own interests?" Sabé asked, unpinning her dark hair.
Eirtaé gave a soft, un-Eirtaé-like snort. "You'd be surprised."
Sabé sat back and regarded her companion silently. Even as a student in the Lyceum, she had long heard of Eirtaé Idine's name, one of the brightest legislator apprentices who, at the age of thirteen, worked with Senator Palpatine in his first term in senatorial office. Many said that she would surely follow in his footsteps, and so many were then surprised when she abruptly left her original career path and entered the Lyceum to train to be a handmaiden. Sabé had no doubt that if Eirtaé had continued on her way, she would be in Coruscant, as an ambassador, or even a Governor of Theed. No one had really asked Eirtaé about the decision she took in the past, and why she did it.
Sabé then realized that with everything that had been happening, from the beginning of her service as handmaiden to the queen up to this point, she knew very little about her fellow handmaidens. Even Rabé, who she had felt familiar with—she didn't know much about her past, either. If she knew only a little about Eirtaé, she knew even less about Saché and Yané, both who were still in Naboo. Who knew when she was going to see them again, if she would be able to rectify her mistake of not noticing the people who she worked closely with. She bit her lower lip, sobering at the thought.
"Sabé, are you alright?" Rabé asked softly, noticing immediately.
Sabé gave a curt nod. "I'm fine." She reassured her friend, who didn't look convinced anyway. "It's just… All this is wearing me down."
Rabé studied her carefully. "Well, you know, Sabé, if you feel that you need to talk about anything, we're here." she indicated herself and Eirtaé. "Eirtaé may not look interested," she added, trying to hide a smile, at which Eirtaé rolled her eyes theatrically. "But she'll listen."
"Only if it interests me." Eirtaé said in her usual cool voice, but Sabé could easily that she was in on the teasing as well. A flush of gratitude seemed to bloom in Sabé's chest as she smiled at her two friends.
Friends. She liked the sound of that.
And in that moment, she truly believed she had lost another friend, and not by actions of another, but by actions completely of her own.
Only now in the silence of her own room, Sabé hated herself. Hated herself for her weakness, hated herself for her selfishness. And while she had said angry accusations at Obi-Wan, she knew. She knew—and understood—why he chose to do what he would do. She knew, but she couldn't accept it. But she had to admit that she acted the part of a petulant child—an irony, considering she never did have a childhood.
She tried hard to think of what Padmé would say to her, what she would advise her to do in this situation. She strained to hear her cousin's voice, but all that she could hear was the cold darkness of the room.
She did not, however, expect to hear her doors opening.
There was a slight pause, an inhalation of breath. "I'm not here to apologize. And I'm not here to explain."
She could not see anything, on account of the darkness, but knew his voice anywhere. "Why are you here, then?"
"I just want to know if you hate me."
She did not know why, but the almost plaintive way he said it made her smile blearily through her tears. She had always known the answer to that one. "No." she shook her head slightly. "I never hated you, Ben."
She could have sworn he let out a small exhalation of relief. "That is…" he seemed to have a brief internal struggle. "Good to hear."
He is not the enemy. What were they doing fighting each other? What did she plan on accomplishing, anyway? She was ashamed of herself, unable to rise above her own grief to recognize the bigger picture, when Obi-Wan himself had been able to rise over his. In an instant she remembered his much-younger face, right after Master Qui-Gon's funeral.
He remained by his position by the doorway, or at least that's the way his voice sounded. "You don't have to fight all the time, Sabé. Your role in the Rebellion does not have to start as soon as possible."
She shook her head in a negative. "This is something I must do, Ben. Please understand."
"I understand." He said, his voice always so kind.
There was another brief silence before he added, "Then this might be, the last time I would get the chance to ask you to dance with me."
Before we part ways, before we possibly die without seeing each other again. She smiled hesitantly and nodded. "I'd like that."
Somehow, even in the total darkness they were able to meet each other halfway. His hand found hers, while the other one settled gently on her waist. As she drew nearer, with a heart half full of trepidation and half-full with an almost guilty joy, she remembered the celebration many years ago in Naboo.
As if reading her thoughts, he said softly, "I should have danced with you."
She didn't say anything as he proceeded to sing something very softly, and to her surprise she recognized it as a lullaby from Naboo. They swayed in place with her temple against his cheek. She closed her eyes and let herself go, letting everything that had happened in the past go.
He was forgiven. He may have had abandoned her then, but here he was now, and she must cherish this moment. She didn't know when the next time would be. She closed her eyes, feeling tears on her cheek. This was goodbye, this very moment.
He held her closer, and continued to sing.
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