A/N: I own nothing you recognize. Full House is property of Warner Bros. I'm just playing with the characters for a while.

A/N: This story is AU. Abuse discussed.


1987

Suzie lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, listening to the still silence in the house. She was exhausted but couldn't sleep. She still didn't know how they had made through the past three days. Danny had wanted to have the funeral services as quickly as possible so that the girls wouldn't have to deal with all that entailed for too long. The funeral had been earlier that day and now everyone else had settled in to an exhausted, if restless, sleep.

If Suzie had gotten her way, she would be at her home in her bed, but Danny wasn't up on his feet yet, and mom needed help. After the funeral Nick and Irene hadn't been in any shape to help Claire with the kids and Jesse had left the graveside, thrown his suit jacket in Nick's car and taken off on his bike without speaking to anyone. Wendy was leaving in the wee hours of the morning for Rio, so that just left her and Joey to help out.

Danny was asleep downstairs with Claire on the couch near him. The girls were asleep in their rooms and Wendy was on the hide-a-bed in DJ's room. She and Joey were in Danny's room so they could listen out for the girls. It had been their parents' room growing up. A place the children had only been allowed to enter when they were in trouble or cleaning the bathroom. It wasn't any wonder that she didn't feel comfortable in there, even with all the changes Pam had made over the last eight years since she and Danny had been living there.

She heard Michelle whimpering. She could wait for Joey or Wendy to wake up and hear her, but they both had to be up in an hour to get Wendy to the airport for her flight. Suzie slipped out of bed and padded quietly down the hall. Michelle was sitting up in her crib, getting fussier.

"Hey, Sweetheart," Suzie said, picking her up from the crib. "What's the matter, Honey? You aren't wet. You shouldn't be hungry already," she looked into those big blue eyes. "I know. You miss your mommy, don't you?" She grabbed a blanket from the crib and sat down in the rocking chair. She cover Michelle with the blanket and rubbed her back, settling her down. She realized this was probably the first time she had voluntarily held her.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart. Aunt Suzie hasn't been very fair to you, has she? I'm so sorry," she hugged her tightly. "I do love you. I miss your mommy, too. She was my best friend and your Daddy is big brother and I think he might be the best big brother ever." Suzie looked around the room. She hadn't spent one night in the house since she'd been married and she didn't know if she'd ever really feel comfortable there. She didn't know why Danny wanted to live there either, but when she had asked him once, he'd dismissed the question saying it was just a building and that things weren't always bad there.

That was true. They'd had lots of good times, it was just that when things were bad, they were so bad, it overshadowed the good times. It was Danny that usually took the brunt of their father's temper, being the only boy and in their father's eyes, the man who should know better. However, William Tanner wasn't shy about taking his belt after his daughters or even if his wife if he felt it was necessary. The last time Suzie had come 'home' to this house was the worse that it ever got and if it hadn't been for Danny, she was fairly certain she wouldn't have made it out.


1977

Jesse still wasn't sure why he went with Pam when she asked. He didn't even know why she asked. He wasn't friends with Suzie or Joey. Pam would later tell him because it was because she knew that if he was involved, he'd feel the need to help. Whatever help they might need.

So far all it had done was make him feel guilty every time he caught a glimpse of Danny's face in the rear view mirror. He didn't want to see Suzie since Danny hadn't been the target of their Dad's anger, he only got in the way. Still, Danny had a black eye, busted lip, and bruise on his jaw.

Two hours later they were all standing at the front of a small wedding chapel. The old minister looked Suzie up and down critically.

"Did he do that?" The minister asked, pointing first to Joey then to the bruises on Suzie's face that her make up couldn't completely hide.

"No, sir," she replied.

"What about that?" he motioned to Danny. "Did you hit her?"

"No sir," Danny replied.

The minister then turned to Pam and Jesse. "Are they telling the truth?"

"Yeah," Jesse replied while Pam nodded.

"Well," the minister said. "Normally, I'd say no. This seems like the kind of wedding that brings some mad father to my door, but in this case, I think I should."

That was how Jesse came to be witness at a wedding of two people he barely knew. That was also why, three days later, when Suzie came back to school only to find out she was the main topic of conversation, Jesse ran the principal's toupee up the flag pole, giving everyone a the new topic of his possible suspension and whether he would be able to graduate.

They were sitting in English class when he was called out to the office. He gathered up his books and swaggered out to cheers. He paused for an almost imperceptible moment at Suzie's desk and winked before walking on out.


1987

Suzie was lost in thought until she heard Wendy moving around. She eased Michelle back into her bed.

"Good morning," she said, meeting Wendy in the hall.

"What are you doing up?" Wendy yawned.

"Putting Michelle back to sleep," she replied with a nod toward the nursery.

"You want some breakfast?"

"Sure," Wendy replied. "I'm going to take advantage of a hot shower one more time before I head back to work. Is Joey still going to take me to the airport or do I need to call a cab?"

"I'll take you," she replied. "He can listen out for the girls." She went back to the bedroom to throw on some clothes. Joey was sitting on the side of the bed, having just woke up. "Hey, Babe," she said.

"Where were you?" he asked.

"Rocking Michelle. She wasn't sleeping well, but I think she's down for a while now," she said.

"You were?" he sounded slightly surprised.

She nodded. "We had a long talk about how Aunt Suzie hasn't been being very fair. I think she forgives me."

"I'm sure she does," he smiled. "Is Wendy ready?"

"She's taking a shower. I'll take her to the airport."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, I can't sleep anyway. No reason both of us should be up. Get some rest." She sat down beside him. "Listen, I was thinking. There's going to be a nurse here full time starting tomorrow, and mom is staying a while, so why don't we go home after breakfast? I want to be in my own space."

"And you'd like to not see your dad?" he asked, gently.

She paused for a second. "Is that bad?"

He shrugged. "I haven't called my Dad back in three months because I don't like his newest wife, so I'm probably not the best one to be giving advice in that area. But if you don't want to see him, we won't stick around."

"To be fair, she is a bit of a misery-guts," Suzie replied. "I wouldn't want to talk to her either."

Truth be told, Colonel Gladstone wasn't a bad guy, in fact except for his abysmal taste in women, Mindy excluded, and his utter disgust that Joey didn't enlist in the military, he was a nice guy. A bit dry and humorless, yes, but he had always been there when Joey really needed him. His newest wife, Janet, however, was only a few years older than Joey himself and seemed to think that being a step-parent to an already adult child meant criticizing everything he did from his comedy act to his teaching career to 'why you two don't have some babies for me love already'. It wasn't any mystery why Joey preferred to avoid talking to her.

She kissed him on the cheek, then quickly got dressed and headed downstairs to fix Wendy a quick meal. Twenty minutes later, she and Wendy were enduring a very quiet ride to the airport together. Suzie wasn't sure when the distance between them had begun. They had shared a room together as kids and had passed many secrets under the cover of darkness about kissing and boys, but then they had grown apart.

Well, that wasn't exactly true when Sue thought about it. They had been shoved apart, first by their dad, then by Wendy's hostile attitude.

Wendy had been thirteen when Suzie had gotten married and moved out. She was fourteen when their mom had finally left their dad and just turned fifteen when Suzie finished school and moved back to San Francisco.

Suzie had invited Wendy over for a sleepover the first night that she and Joey had moved into their apartment. Instead of the giggly thirteen year old who would make kissie faces at her, she got an angry, sullen teenager who blamed her for the dissolution of their parents marriage.

"I'll be happy to get back to work," Wendy said, breaking the silence. "Just wish I could have stuck around long enough to see Dad though."

"This is only flight to Rio for another three days," Suzie said. "Joey did his best to find you another flight, but he couldn't., at least, none that would put you back by Friday." She held back from saying that if Wendy wanted better flight times, she could have booked her own flights, or even paid for her own tickets. "Besides, he might not even show up. He didn't bother to come to the funeral."

"Probably because he knew you would be there," Wendy mumbled.

"What?" Suzie asked, sharply.

"Nothing," Wendy said. Then exhaled sharply. "You don't like dad so Danny and I can't like him either."

"It has nothing to with liking him," Suzie replied. "He's my father and I love him, but he wasn't..."

"He's not some monster," Wendy said.

"I never said he was. He has problems but I don't have to be the outlet he unleashes them on and you don't either," Suzie said.

"He wasn't that bad."

"Yeah? So what's your definition of 'that' bad?" She snapped. "Was it 'that' bad when he'd whip us so hard that we couldn't go to school until the bruises faded? What about when he punched Danny in the face? Or was it when he threw boiling hot soup off the stove at Mom because she put onions in it? Maybe it when he pushed me down the stairs knowing I was pregnant? How much worse should he have been for me to be justified in getting away from him?"

"You did get away. You left and you didn't come back," Wendy said. "Mom divorced him because you wouldn't come home until she did."

"I couldn't come home!" Suzie cried. "When Dad found out I was pregnant, he kicked me out with nothing except what I had on. He wouldn't even let me take my purse or backpack. I couldn't even go to school until Colonel Gladstone came over and made him give me my purse and books! I had no choice in leaving or in not coming back."

"Really?" Wendy was quieter.

"Yeah. And mom divorced him for her own reasons, not because of me," Suzie replied. They fell into another uneasy silence until Wendy was on the plane.

Danny was awake when she got back to the house.

"Do you need anything?" she asked.

He shook his head and whispered, "Just don't wake Mom up."

"Driving you crazy?" Suzie asked with a smile.

"Let's just say there are some things I'd rather do in private since being potty trained."

Suzie laughed quietly and sat down on the foot of his bed.

"Wendy make it off okay?" he asked.

Suzie nodded.

"How much money did you give her?" he asked. Wendy loved her job, but it didn't pay her enough to survive most of the time. Suzie and Danny had started picking up the slack for their mom years before.

"Two hundred," Suzie yawned.

"Can you afford that? With the tickets and all, too?" Danny asked.

She nodded. "Don't worry about Wendy and me. You have enough to deal with.

"Old habits," he replied.

"Danny, do you ever...," she let her voice trail off

"Ever what?" he asked.

"Do you ever worry that you'll, I don't know, slip one day and lose it the way Dad used to?" she asked. "Do you ever worry that you'll get out of control disciplining the girls?"

"Everyday. That's why we don't hit our children," he said. "I decided the first time I held DJ that I'd never touch her, or any of my children, except with love and kindness. What brought that up?"

She shrugged. "I was just thinking. You know, as badly as I want to have a baby, maybe there is a good reason that hasn't happened. I mean, what if..., if there's any of that in me, then maybe it's a good thing that some child won't be damaged by me."

"No," Danny said, firmly. "That anger, that whatever, isn't in you, Sue. If I ever thought that you capable of being that harsh, I'd never let you take care of my girls and they love Aunt Suzie. You're going to be a great mom one day and when you look down at that child, or those children, you'll just know that you could never hurt them, just like I do every time I look at my children."

"Thanks. Get some sleep," Suzie said, standing up. "Or I'll have to wake Mom up." She hugged him before going back upstairs.


Please R and R.