When Violet released his neck Jimmy straightened himself up and remembered what he and Buck had found.
"I have something of yours," he said, "Though I'm not sure you'll want it anymore."
He left the porch and collected the item from his saddle bag.
"We found where he's been keeping the things he takes. These were there too."
The look on her face made him think he probably should have just burned them.
Violet wasn't sure what to think. A part of her was embarrassed to be sitting there with Jimmy and looking upon her under things. Then just looking at them made her think of her own helplessness at being pinned underneath that man in the woods. In her mind she could hear the fabric tearing and feel the night air on parts of her that should never have felt such a thing. Her pulse increased and the tears stood in her eyes. Her tears were never that far off and it took so little to bring them to the surface. She hated crying in front of other people. Violet had never been comfortable with people feeling sorry for her and since this had happened, it made her feel something she couldn't explain but she hated for anyone to see her cry. It was one thing when she was alone at night and was imagining her heroes there to comfort her but she didn't want Jimmy—the real Jimmy, not her imagined one—to see those tears. It was, of course, too late to stop the flow from her eyes. She tried to turn her head away from him but he saw anyway. He seemed to think it was his fault for bringing her things back to her but she knew that if it wasn't that then she would have cried over something else anyway. Things were getting better little bits at a time but the tears were always right there waiting to renew their paths down her cheeks.
Jimmy saw first her shame at having her undergarment so out in the open and then he saw the fear and horror and ultimately her tears. He didn't even think before pulling her to him and stroking the back of her head.
"I'm sorry," he said softly, "I didn't think."
Her tears slowed and she shook her head.
"It's not your fault," she assured him, "I cry a lot. Thank you for bringing them back. I guess they'll make good cleaning rags if nothing else."
"No," he said, "You didn't need this memory. I should've gotten rid of them."
"The memories are there all the time whether I'm looking at something like this or not," she said, "I'm still glad you brought them."
The pair sat quietly for a while and Violet studied Jimmy's expression.
"You look so sad," she said.
"Yeah," he agreed, "Sad is probably a good word for it."
Jimmy realized that it no longer unnerved him when she focused on him as it had before. Still, he felt bad admitting his own sadness as he didn't have nearly the reasons to be sad that she did. He felt almost like he lacked the right to feel something like that next to her.
"I didn't make you sad, did I?"
"No," he said and it wasn't really a lie. Violet did not make him sad but what happened to her did. It also made him angry and confused and a little scared though he wouldn't admit the last part to anyone, especially the girl sitting next to him. She had to have faith in something after all. He looked up to the sun and saw that he'd better get moving or he wouldn't make it back for supper and Rachel would probably have a fit. She was enough of a mother hen under the best of circumstances and they hadn't seen anything even close to the best of circumstances in over a week. If even one little chick was missing from her nest when she put supper on the table, she would think the worst even if it was Jimmy whose safety no one else really worried about.
"I'd best be heading for home," he said to Violet, "I would imagine your ma probably has supper started and your pa will be along home soon too. The girl grabbed his hand tight, as tightly as she had while she was waiting for her parents to come for her at the doctor's.
"I'm frightened," she said, "Will you come see me tomorrow?"
"I will," he said patting the back of her hand. "I promise."
Violet stood on the porch watching him ride away. She felt empty when he left her even though she knew he would come to talk to her in the night. He would hold her until she fell asleep and soothe her and tell her everything would be alright. He would tell her she was beautiful and he would promise to keep her safe. But he wasn't there as she watched his silhouette disappear from her view and that left a void within her. It also left her feeling vulnerable and suddenly tiny and weak, things she never felt when he was there—whether real or imagined. Finally Violet sighed and headed into the house to help her mother with supper.
Jimmy walked into the bunkhouse and looked at his friends and doing a quick head count saw one missing from the group.
"Wasn't Lou supposed to be back by now?" he asked and immediately regretted it as Kid stood abruptly and stormed out slamming the door as he left.
Jimmy was already standing and the one whose observation set off Kid's hurried exit so he turned right around and went out the door too. He could just see Kid as he vanished into the barn.
"Kid," Jimmy called out as he entered the barn. He half expected to see Kid in Katy's stall readying her to ride after Lou but Kid was just slumped in a corner with his head in his hands. Jimmy walked over and sat next to his friend. They butted heads plenty but Jimmy still figured they might be the two who best understood each other.
"Kid," Jimmy said quietly, "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I'm sure she's alright. We've been sending a lot of extra messages on all of the runs right now and she might just've had to wait for a return message and then decided to stay so she didn't have to ride at night."
"Is that what you really think?" asked Kid, "Can you look me in the eye and tell me you're not the slightest bit worried?"
"No, I can't," Jimmy admitted, "I'm plenty worried. I'll tell you what, you get started saddling the horses and I'll go get Cody. That Hawken of his could take down a bear so I'm guessing it could take down this fella if need be."
Kid nodded and the two men stood with Jimmy turning to leave before being stopped by Kid's hand on his arm.
"Thanks, Jimmy," he said, "I know you and Lou think I worry too much over her."
"Kid, I'd worry about any of us that wasn't home when he ought to be right now," Jimmy said.
Jimmy went back to the bunkhouse and walked in.
"Cody," he said, "You want to grab that rifle and come help us find Lou?"
"Sure," Cody replied, "But she's going to be pretty steamed when we come looking for her."
"I don't care," Jimmy retorted, "I'd come after you if you was late and with all that's going on right now, I hope you'd come after me if I didn't make it back when I was supposed to."
Rachel handed Jimmy a satchel.
"Neither of you got to eat," she explained, "I just put the meat between the biscuits like sandwiches. You can't go riding off on empty stomachs."
Jimmy knew that she felt helpless and that food was the only way she knew right then to help any of them. The thing was that Jimmy was far more worried for Rachel than for himself or even for Lou. Lou was tough and smart and a pretty decent shot. Plus she was a good rider and they'd collected nothing so far about the killer to say he ever rode a horse. Rachel was a woman who lived in proximity to men but really was alone in her house. Jimmy hated that. He shared a look with Buck who nodded in understanding. Rachel would be left alone only once she was safely locked in her house and what was more, Buck would walk through her house before leaving her alone in it. They had talked about this earlier in the day after seeing how desperate the killer had gotten for a new victim.
Jimmy, Cody and Kid all rode off in search of Lou. They couldn't even bring themselves to look in the woods. Instead they decided to first search the trail she would have been riding all the way to her destination if need be. They sure hoped that was where they would find her. Kid hated asking but he did wonder if they maybe shouldn't look in the woods. Jimmy shook his head. He didn't want to point out that if she was in the woods, there was no rush to find her.
"The last time he got mad about something, he left Delilah out in the open," Jimmy pointed out, "Besides, I think our best bet is to stay where we're comfortable and know where we're going. We'll be no help to Lou if we get lost."
Kid nodded and said a silent prayer that they would find her at the hotel in her destination wondering why they were there.
The supper dishes had been cleared and the boys were thinking about getting ready to turn in for the night. Buck followed Rachel to the main house.
"You don't need to escort me, Buck," she told him.
"Actually," he said, "I do. I also need to check out the house and make sure it's safe."
"Is that really necessary?"
"I think it is," Buck said very seriously.
He followed her into the house and began to walk through with his gun drawn. Nothing seemed amiss but he kept the search. It wasn't until he was in her bedroom that he saw anything of concern. There, on her bed they both saw them at the same time, a pair of her pantaloons torn and cast across the quilt.
"I wouldn't suggest this any other time but maybe you ought to sleep out in the bunkhouse with us tonight," Buck said.
"I will not be driven out of my home," she said indignantly.
"Rachel," Buck said gently arguing his point, "I'm more concerned with you still being alive tomorrow. You don't know what he does to women. I do. Please don't make me have to go looking for your body."
Rachel saw the pained look in his eyes. He was right; she didn't know exactly what this killer did as she had intentionally avoided being around and listening when such things were discussed. She frankly did not want to know.
Buck continued to look at her desperately. Not only had he seen the brutality this man was capable of, he knew that Rachel had been married and would therefore incur the greater violence that Delilah had. He just couldn't bear to have anyone else go through that if he could save them and especially not someone he cared for like family.
"Fine," Rachel finally consented and it was mostly because she couldn't look into those pleading, wounded eyes anymore.
Ike and Noah were surprised when Rachel returned to the bunkhouse with Buck.
"He's been in her room," he explained, "So she's sleeping in here where we can keep an eye on her."
The other two nodded knowing they didn't want to see what would happen if she slept in her own room.
Violet curled tightly in her bed hugging her pillow tight to her. Being alone in the dark was the worst part of her day. All she could think of tonight was that poor girl stolen right out from under her parents' noses. How frightened she must have been to have been sleeping peacefully one moment and the next in the hands of that shadowy figure that still haunted Violet's nightmares and even parts of her days.
"Relax," she heard Jimmy say as his face came into view. And even though she knew she was no less alone than she had been before, she felt instantly better. "I told you I'd keep you safe, didn't I?"
"You did," she whispered, "I shouldn't have doubted you. I just get so scared sometimes."
"I know," Jimmy said winding his strong arms around her, "But I'm here now. Get some sleep, honey."
Violet nestled into the warm safe cocoon he provided and drifted into a world where she and Jimmy walked together and talked together and danced together and she could smile without the spectre that seemed to hover over her in her waking hours.
Oooh...where's Lou? And how did he get into Rachel's room?
Sorry it has taken me a while to update...I was wedding dress shopping yesterday. My step-daughter will be the most beautiful bride ever next summer. Of course, she's my little girl so if she wore jeans and flip flops I would still think she was the most beautiful. I have to say after days and days of dealing with the shadow I really needed to be concerned with whether my sweet Minah girl should wear an a-line or trumpet style dress and how much lace is too much lace and how long her veil should be. I feel quite refreshed. Sorry this was so short but this was the best stopping point for now.-J
