Chapter 9

Finally, a Plot...sort of…

Poke-ball: Wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble.
Jack: Come on, Mini-Me! I want you!
Gary: Break his balls. Break his balls.
Jack: Shut up! People have been seeing and posting and quoting.
Gary: I just want your balls to break.
Jack: They have. Haven't you ever seen "Craziest Home-Videos: Nutbusters"?
Cindy: As much as I hate to interrupt such an intelligent conversation...THE BALL HAS STOPPED WOBBLING!
Jack: Sorry...I zoned out. Was it a ding or a nut-buster?
Cindy: A ding. God, you're stupid.
Jack: Yes! I caught Mini-Me!
Gary: Don't let that thing near the Name Rater. He'll tear you apart.
Jack: He would if he wasn't a pre-programmed computer-sprite.
Cindy: How could we possibly forget?

(Rocket HQ)
(Grunt and an unknown man were talking via video-phone)
?????: So Jessie and James failed to retrieve the Pokedexes?
Grunt: Yes sir. They got pwned by some kids on Route 22.
?????: You say "pwned?" Get real Grunt. This isn't an Internet fan-fic.
Grunt: You would be surprised...
?????: No bacback talk I want you to track down those Pokedexes.
Grunt: But sir...the Pokedexes weren't in the package. It was...just a music ball.
?????: You mean "music box".
Grunt: If I had meant "music box", I would've said "music box". We screwed up. Oak got the Pokedexes 2 days earlier and ordered the "music-ball' as a decoy. He knew we'd try to steal it.
?????: Really? It seems the old man is smarter than we thought...

(Oak's lab)
Oak(drops a beer-can on the sofa): Errr...it was Sadaam Hussein!

(Rocket HQ)
?????: What did he do with the Pokedexes?
Grunt: Our mole on the inside says that he simply gave it to some kids. The very same kids who defeated Jessie and James.
?????: Well, this certainly is amusing. That buffoon Oak doesn't even realize their worth. Doesn't he understand why Rowan sent them to him in secrecy?
Grunt: The old man has been off his rocker lately. Maybe he thought it was a late Christmas present.
?????: Either way, I want you to send someone to get those Pokedexes back.
Grunt: I know just the guy. He's tracking the kids through Viridian Forest as we speak.
?????: What, that stupid Cultist? He's far too unreliable.
Grunt: Yes, but he's developed quite a reputation. I'm sure the very sight of him will instill fear in the little brats.
?????: I'm well aware of his...talents. But he's a loose cannon. He must not know how important this job is! If he were to find out, he would demand much more pay. Pay which I cannot afford to give to my assassins!
Grunt: Yessir.
?????: Okay, you have your orders. ????? out! (hangs up)
Grunt: Err...sir?
?????: (comes back on screen) Yes?
Grunt: What's with the ?????. Why can't you say your real name, or at least some sort of cool code-name? You know, like in the spy movies?
?????: We could do that, but I'm too important a character. As a plot-device, my true identity can't be revealed until the kid finds me.
Grunt: "Until the kid finds you?" How can you say that when you've just sent your strongest assassin after him?
?????: Point taken. How about I change my code-name every chapter?
Grunt: Good idea. I'll upload your first code-name. It's coming up on screen now.
?????: Okay. Today, you will call me...
(the words 'Mr Cookie' appear on screen)
Mr Cookie: Is this some kind of joke?
Grunt(snicker): Teehee. Don't ask me. It's all randomized letters sorted into the closest word match.
Mr Cookie: Just because of a scrambler, I have to go the whole chapter being called 'Mr Cookie'?
Grunt: Well that's not so bad, Mr Cookie. The chapters already over.
Mr Cookie: Thank god...