Chapter 9
Finally, a Plot...sort of…
Poke-ball:
Wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble.
Jack: Come on, Mini-Me! I want
you!
Gary: Break his balls. Break his balls.
Jack: Shut up!
People have been seeing and posting and quoting.
Gary: I just want
your balls to break.
Jack: They have. Haven't you ever seen
"Craziest Home-Videos: Nutbusters"?
Cindy: As much as I
hate to interrupt such an intelligent conversation...THE BALL HAS
STOPPED WOBBLING!
Jack: Sorry...I zoned out. Was it a ding or a
nut-buster?
Cindy: A ding. God, you're stupid.
Jack: Yes! I
caught Mini-Me!
Gary: Don't let that thing near the Name Rater.
He'll tear you apart.
Jack: He would if he wasn't a pre-programmed
computer-sprite.
Cindy: How could we possibly forget?
(Rocket
HQ)
(Grunt and an unknown man were talking via video-phone)
?????:
So Jessie and James failed to retrieve the Pokedexes?
Grunt: Yes
sir. They got pwned by some kids on Route 22.
?????: You say
"pwned?" Get real Grunt. This isn't an Internet
fan-fic.
Grunt: You would be surprised...
?????: No bacback
talk I want you to track down those Pokedexes.
Grunt: But
sir...the Pokedexes weren't in the package. It was...just a music
ball.
?????: You mean "music box".
Grunt: If I had
meant "music box", I would've said "music box".
We screwed up. Oak got the Pokedexes 2 days earlier and ordered the
"music-ball' as a decoy. He knew we'd try to steal it.
?????:
Really? It seems the old man is smarter than we thought...
(Oak's
lab)
Oak(drops a beer-can on the sofa): Errr...it was Sadaam
Hussein!
(Rocket HQ)
?????: What did he do with the
Pokedexes?
Grunt: Our mole on the inside says that he simply gave
it to some kids. The very same kids who defeated Jessie and
James.
?????: Well, this certainly is amusing. That buffoon Oak
doesn't even realize their worth. Doesn't he understand why Rowan
sent them to him in secrecy?
Grunt: The old man has been off his
rocker lately. Maybe he thought it was a late Christmas
present.
?????: Either way, I want you to send someone to get
those Pokedexes back.
Grunt: I know just the guy. He's tracking
the kids through Viridian Forest as we speak.
?????: What, that
stupid Cultist? He's far too unreliable.
Grunt: Yes, but he's
developed quite a reputation. I'm sure the very sight of him will
instill fear in the little brats.
?????: I'm well aware of
his...talents. But he's a loose cannon. He must not know how
important this job is! If he were to find out, he would demand much
more pay. Pay which I cannot afford to give to my assassins!
Grunt:
Yessir.
?????: Okay, you have your orders. ????? out! (hangs
up)
Grunt: Err...sir?
?????: (comes back on screen) Yes?
Grunt:
What's with the ?????. Why can't you say your real name, or at least
some sort of cool code-name? You know, like in the spy movies?
?????:
We could do that, but I'm too important a character. As a
plot-device, my true identity can't be revealed until the kid finds
me.
Grunt: "Until the kid finds you?" How can you say
that when you've just sent your strongest assassin after him?
?????:
Point taken. How about I change my code-name every chapter?
Grunt:
Good idea. I'll upload your first code-name. It's coming up on screen
now.
?????: Okay. Today, you will call me...
(the words 'Mr
Cookie' appear on screen)
Mr Cookie: Is this some kind of joke?
Grunt(snicker): Teehee. Don't ask me. It's all randomized letters
sorted into the closest word match.
Mr Cookie: Just because of a
scrambler, I have to go the whole chapter being called 'Mr
Cookie'?
Grunt: Well that's not so bad, Mr Cookie. The chapters
already over.
Mr Cookie: Thank god...
