Greg's hands never shook when he was with Nick. But this past week had been an exception.

The trial had taken a lot longer than it should have. Too many people had to testify and too much of the evidence had been called into question. The longer they had to wait for the jury to decide, the more Greg began to doubt the outcome.

They had finally been called back for the verdict, and were now waiting as patiently as possible. Greg tried as hard as he could to stop his hands from shaking, but he couldn't. He rested his head on Nick's shoulder and tried to keep his eyes open. Nick had his left arm wrapped around Greg's shoulders. When he saw how badly Greg's hands were shaking, he put his hand over his boyfriend's and laced their fingers together. He gently rubbed the back of Greg's hand with his thumb, and his hands started to shake less.

The rest of their team was sitting to Nick's right. Warrick, Catherine, Grissom, Sara, and even Brass had come to testify when needed and were here now to hear the verdict.

Nick felt Greg tense when Matt was led into the courtroom and over to the defendant's table. Greg couldn't help but stare back at Matt's piercing gaze full of hate. Greg's entire body began to shake and he started to feel dizzy.

"Nick..." His voice was barely audible, but Nick heard him.

"It's okay Greg, you're safe." Nick whispered. When he saw Matt staring at Greg, he shifted slightly. "Greg, don't look at him." Nick pulled his hand away from Greg's so he could gently pull Greg's chin towards him. "Don't look at him, look at me. You're safe, he can't hurt you. I promise." Greg nodded slowly and closed his eyes. He grabbed Nick's hand again and held it as tightly as he could. Nick kept his arm around Greg's shoulders as he ran his free hand back and forth through his soft hair. "It's all gonna be over soon sweetie." Nick's quiet voice kept Greg calm. He didn't even open his eyes when the judge told the defendant to please rise and asked the jury for their verdict.

"We find the defendant..." Greg recognized the voice as female. "Matthew Hayre..." Greg could never understand why they had to make this so suspenseful. He squeezed Nick's hand as hard as he could, hoping he wasn't breaking any bones. "Guilty on all charges." All the other voices faded and Greg couldn't hear anything else but the beating of his heart. He let out the breath he hand't realized he had been holding. He took a few deep breaths and didn't open his eyes until he felt Nick move next to him until he couldn't feel him anymore.

Greg opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. He finally found where Nick had wandered off to, and upon doing so, his sense of relief vanished and was replaced by the ever familiar feeling of fear.

Matt had somehow managed to get through the gate and must have been coming towards him. He was holding Nick by throat, even though that wasn't going to do much. Nick shoved him backwards and into the baliffs that had apparently taken their time getting over to them. Matt was quickly forced to the ground and handcuffed. Warrick had moved behind Nick and was holding him firmly by the shoulders, even though Nick was making no attempt to move.

Matt was dragged to his feet and out of the courtroom. Nick turned and faced Warrick and they started talking about something. Greg couldn't hear what they were saying, but Nick was laughing slightly and Warrick was smiling so he didn't care. Nick nodded slowly to Warrick before he made his way back over to Greg, who stood instinctively and wrapped his arms around Nick's neck.

"It's okay G. Everything's gonna be okay." Nick said. His voice was a little ragged, but was still soothing.

"I'm so sorry Nicky..." Greg said as he choked down a sob.

"It's not your fault Greggo. If I can't blame myself, you can't blame this on yourself." Nick rubbed small circles on Greg's back and kissed his neck. He pulled away slightly so he could look Greg in the eyes. "Let's go home now." Greg nodded slowly and followed Nick out of the courtroom.


Greg lazily drew weird shapes on Nick's bare stomach and chest. His head was once again rested on Nick's shoulder as they were lying in their bed, neither one of them able to fall asleep.

Greg abruptly stopped his geometry lesson on Nick's stomach and reached across him, taking Nick's left arm in his hand and bringing it towards him. He silently traced the two thin cuts on his wrist as tears started falling from his eyes.

"Why did you do this?" Greg asked quietly. He moved his finger up to Nick's palm and traced small cirlces there, but was still looking at the cuts on his wrist.

Nick closed his fingers over Greg's and brought his hand up to his lips and kissed the back of Greg's hand softly. "Because I love you." Nick said simply.

Greg shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense Nick."

"Yes it does."

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't."

Nick smiled to himself at Greg's very argumentative attitude towards everything. "Did it get you to stop doing it to yourself?"

Greg nodded slowly. "Yeah...but-"

Nick cut him off. "But nothing. I did what I had to do to get you to stop. I'd do it all over again if I had to."

Greg fell silent for a few minutes before quietly asking, "Didn't it hurt?" He looked up at Nick with his dark brown eyes even darker than they usually are.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, it did." Greg wanted to look away, but couldn't. "But not as much as seeing you suffer the way you were before."

Greg shrugged. "It wasn't that bad."

Nick laughed sarcastically. "Yeah right. You probably don't remember much."

"Why do you think I kept getting drunk? I wanted to forget everything, forget what I was doing to you. I know it hurt you more than it hurt me."

Nick shook his head. "This isn't about me."

Greg closed his eyes. "It was always about you. Matt was jealous of you and would have hurt you worse than he was hurting me." He sighed slightly. "That's still not a good enough excuse to have sex with him so many times..." Greg thought aloud.

Nick bit the inside of his cheek and silently cursed himself at those words. Greg, being the very observant person that he was, noticed the change in the beating of Nick's heart underneath his ear. He looked up at Nick and the confirmation was in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

Nick looked down at Greg and frowned unconvincingly. "Nothing." He lied.

Greg rolled his eyes. "Nick, you are the worst liar ever."

Nick sighed. "It's not a big deal."

"Liar."

Nick took a deep breath and looked away from Greg. He traced over the scar's on Greg's back and found it easier to talk that way. "I just...well...when you were coming home drunk and everything and wouldn't tell me what was going on...I just thought that maybe..." Nick trailed off, not wanting to say what he thought.

"What?" Greg forced himself into Nick's line of vision.

"That maybe...you were cheating on me or something." Nick closed his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. You're such a good guy... Nick thought to himself sarcastically.

Greg reached up and brushed away the tears that were falling down Nick's cheek. "Why would you think that?" He asked softly.

Nick opened his eyes. "I didn't know what to think. I wouldn't have blamed you."

Greg shook his head. "What are you talking about Nick?"

"Come on Greg. You know that you could do so much better than me."

Greg smiled, even though he was very confused. "No I couldn't, no one could. And even if somehow I could, why would I want to?"

"Because you're so amazing. You're the funniest, nicest, smartest...greatest...guy ever. You could be with anyone." Nick shrugged slightly. "I don't deserve you."

Greg had no idea what to say. He had been with Nick for a pretty long time, and he had never said anything like that. Greg never knew, or wanted to know, that he thought that way. He lifted his head from Nick's chest and shifted so his entire body was over Nick's. He smiled at Nick and played with Nick's dark hair like he always did. He leaned down and kissed Nick's lips, pulling only inches away so he could look him in the eyes.

"You know I love you, right?" He asked.

Nick nodded. "Yeah...but I don't know why."

Greg laughed softly. "Well there's gotta be a reason if the greatest guy in the world is with someone like you." He said sarcastically. "I'm only so amazing because I'm with you. I'll never be the same without you." He kissed Nick again before hovering his lips just above his and saying, "I love you more than you will ever know. I know you don't believe that you mean this much to me, but I promise you that you do."