Chapter 9
They made camp deep in the forest away from the praying eyes. Not a moment later Morgana left to join Arthur on the other side where they were engaged in a heated discussion, barely restrained shouts turned into whispered hiss.
Merlin would've loved to know what they were talking about, but as usual, he kept his distance. He believed everyone was entitled to their secrets, they never lead to anything good but still it was their right.
On the other hand Gwaine decided to join him, whistling a soft melody, clearly in a good mood over their little escape. He sat next to Merlin and nudged him with his shoulder.
"So Merlin, what do you think they are talking about, seems intense?"
Merlin glanced at his relaxed expression and figured Gwaine was just asking to find some enjoyment in their stop, because it was dark and there wasn't much for them to do, except wait for the sun and then decide on their journey ahead.
"I don't know, but when they are ready they will share."
He was silent for a moment before Gwaine once more opened his mouth.
"Bet they are some secret royal people doing some secret work for the crown. They are here to take us alive Merlin and we, my friend, must stop them."
"Are you an idiot Gwaine?"
"Sometimes."
"Then stop acting like one. We are in serious trouble here and we can't afford to just joke about everything that befalls us."
In return Gwaine held his hands up in surrender seeing Merlin in such foul mood.
"Hey just trying to give things a bit of magic, wasn't that supposed to be your thing Merlin?"
It was indeed, but now he just can't help but focus on the dark thoughts that have gathered in his head and are now eating at his resolve. They will need a lot of luck and preparation to get through this. Morgause was not someone they should underestimate and he still had a nagging feeling that Morgana and Arthur were hiding something important.
"Perhaps instead of joking around, we could use this time to rest. We will need our strength tomorrow."
Gwaine was listening carefully and Merlin was once again reminded that behind that façade of humor lies a sharp mind of a warrior and a cunning wit of a best thief. Hiding in plane site.
"I know what you mean Merlin, but in spite of you guys being secretive about, well let's face it everything, I think we can pull through if we are all just honest with each other."
Of that, Merlin was sure that Gwaine had a point. They needed to come clean with everything, Morgana and Arthur that is, because his secrets are just not something it really concerned them and would just hinder them on the journey.
"You are right."
"Really, the great Merlin agrees with me. Must have hit your head when you were capture or did they hit you one too many times Merlin?"
Merlin could only stare at him.
"I fail to see the down side in you shutting your mouth from time to time Gwaine. It will do you good."
Gwaine didn't let that bother him.
"Now where's the fun in that. Now, doom and gloom aside, what is the story between you and Morgana?"
Merlin snapped his head in surprise towards Gwaine while this one only nodded knowingly in his direction as he pointed towards Morgana who was currently looking rather curiously towards them.
"What do you mean?"
"Ah come now, don't think me blind Merlin. I see the way you look at her."
Yeah like he didn't know that, for all his hiding and trying to pretend that nothing mattered now, he knew he failed.
"I… it is a long story."
Before he could try to jumble his way out of it he realized that Morgana and Arthur were making their way towards them.
"Merlin, a moment please."
Morganas gaze was unrelenting and left no room for argument. Arthur on the other hand just picked up Gwaine and started to pull him in the other direction.
"Hey hey easy on the fabric man. I want to hear this."
"You will end up eating dirt if you stay here for a moment longer. Trust me you don't want to get on Morganas bad side."
Merlin could only watch as Arthur dragged him kicking and squirming away.
"Merlin! I will not stand for this abuse."
"Shut it Gwaine. Merlin is occupied at the moment and I will remind you what happened the last time you decided to embark on some sort of a bet with me."
"Ah come on Arthur that was just in good fun. Show mercy."
With that they were gone. He almost jumped when he felt Morgana next to him.
"The two of them always this childish?"
"Can you believe that I am the adult among them?"
"Before no, now maybe. You certainly have changed Merlin."
He looked at her, taking her in. She still had that fire in her, the same warrior like stance with royal stance that always puzzled him. She had her hair down and it fell over her shoulder, which surprised him considering that most of the time she would tie her hair or have a hood over as to hide it.
It is a not easy to fight when your hair is constantly in your eyes Merlin. We will have to cut yours soon.
I don't want to Morgana.
Stop being such a baby Merlin. Arthur did it.
How come you don't cut your hair Morgana?
Because I'm a girl and you get back here Merlin or I will tie you to a post and make Arthur use his knife to cut it!
No not again.
Really every time.
Now he felt like he didn't know the person before him, or was afraid of her. Afraid of opening up just to get hurt once more. They didn't have the comfort of doing so, not him and certainly not Arthur. He still remembered the sadness in the other man's eyes when he would get lost in thought after she left. It ran deep and he couldn't just let it go so easily.
Morgana was family before and then there were just him and Arthur. Now he didn't know what she was.
"Gwaine is a good friend."
Morgana watched him, a careful gaze and he always felt it was harder to swallow when she looked at him like that. It always felt like she could see right through him. He felt the nervous twitch on his fingertips, his magic stirring awake.
Again he cursed how he could get so easily rattled and now he need to get his control down again. Instead he used his fingers to shape figures on the flames that danced before him. Morgana watched him make a dragon in the flames and said.
"I see it still comes natural to you. You are magic Merlin."
He couldn't help but twitch at that. She always said how he was special, more than anyone else. He was special and still she left.
"Hm."
"What did I say something wrong Merlin?"
She never used to ask and act timid around him. She used to command attention and was not afraid to act so around him, all wrapped up in a fiery storm personality he just couldn't help but be drawn to. Now, she was tiptoeing around him and he hated it. How quickly can he get offended after just being bitter that she was here in the first place? He really should get some rest. Sleep would do him good.
"I never heard you be so reserved Morgana."
He still refused to meet her gaze.
"I don't know what to say to make it right Merlin?"
He glance towards her, but was afraid that he would give away too much so he returned back to making shapes.
"When I found you, I was so relived Merlin and happy. I was happy to see you but…"
He couldn't help but look towards her when she placed her hand on his shoulder, but instead of looking at her he looked at her hand. The delicate fingers and shape he knew so well. It was comforting even after all this time.
"… then I really got to see you and I saw a man there. Not the young boy who traveled with me and shared the last piece of bread with me. A boy who used to laugh when I would scold him for not holding his sword right."
His fingers traced hers as he felt her stop at his action.
"Morgana."
But she shook her head, a determined gaze in her eyes.
"No I need to say this."
So in steed he gazed at her hand and traced it with his fingers, memorized once again her delicate skin.
"I was caught by surprise, the deep voice and tall frame. I almost couldn't see you Merlin. Still, it was your eyes, the same eyes that watched me so many times and listened to everything I used to say with such careful attention, the sharp mind behind them. I recognized that. I recognized the hurt and anger in them."
He felt her fingers firmly grasp the fabric on his shoulders but her voice was steady. She gave nothing away.
"I was afraid of what you saw in mine, because you changed so much. I was afraid that everything changed."
He in the meantime took her hand and traced her knuckles with his lips all the while looking at her. He felt his magic seek out hers beneath his fingers and the comfort when he felt her magic respond, flamed back his dormant emotions. How much he had missed her and he couldn't stand for her to think that it had changed.
"Nothing's changed Morgana."
He felt her shiver as she locked her gaze with him, doubt still in her eyes.
"Really, even after I left you and you thought I betrayed you."
He only concentrated on the war feeling of her presence, felt his magic feed off of it. His entire being craving her presence and now just taking anything it can in this small moment.
"Nothing's changed."
He looked at her as he kissed her open palm still looking at her and using his other hand to trace on her wrist a small dragon he had traced in the fire before. It slowly burned across her skin, but left no pain or damage on it. His magic was never meant to hurt her.
The doubt disappeared from her eyes and he almost breathed out in relief but didn't want to interrupt the soft comfort he was giving her. Not a moment later a challenging look came on her face, the fire back in her eyes as a slow smile stretched on her face. He felt his heart thumping in his ears as her finger reached and tipped his chin towards her, tracing the edge softly. He couldn't help but take comfort of his own in the familiar touch. Before he felt her magic nudge his as she placed her other hand on his fingertips.
His eyes opened in their golden abyss and hers flashed in the same manner before returning back.
"Prove it."
The last days he thought that maybe he should reside to the fate that he would never find her and now here he was with her and he just couldn't help but bask in the moment of it. It was a small moment in the time of darkness and as he looked at her challenging gaze and as his eyes traced the curve of her mischievous smile, he couldn't help but tug her towards him and place his lips on hers, as a surprised gasp escaped her.
He will prove it alright.
