A/N: Hey guys! Haven't updated in a while! I just found something on my computer like MS Word so I no longer have to write on my iPod! Yay! And for my Portal/Leviathan fic, I am desperately trying to put that together. xDD I just needed to write something a little sad so have a little Volger angst.
Ernst Volger had watched people die all his life; his mother, his men, his best friends, his wife, his child. Everyone he had cared about, it seemed, had moved on and left him behind. He had nothing left but Aleksandar and, eventually, Nora and Deryn. But, even they were ripped away from him.
Nora had died in his arms, two bullets to the abdomen. Alek and Deryn had fallen side-by-side. Bauer, Hoffman, and Klopp and been executed b firing squad once the Germans had gotten ahold of them. Not even the men he had escaped with could help him with his burden.
Often, Ernst wondered what it would've been like if the people he had cared about lived. He probably would've been a much weaker person, but perhaps he would have been happier. He had never known anyone who would stay. They all wandered in seperate directions at some point, whether to be to the other side of the Earth or amongst the dead.
So many times, it felt like he was the only one left on the entire plant. No one would speak to him, no one would so much as look at him. He was just another face in the street. To everyone else, he was just like them. It was enough. Enough of silence and lonliness.
Ernst had never thought his life would come to this. If anything, he had expected to die in battle. He had never though he'd take cyanide, but he also never thought his friends and family were going to die. He felt, there was no longer an option to continue. He certainly had no reason to. He had nothing, he had no one.
Ernst sighed deeply, running the pill between his fingers. He kneaded his brow. It was difficult, bringing himself to his own demise. The more he thought about it, the more his fear grew. It was odd. It had seemed so perfect up until this point. If one knew his demise would happen, it was human instinct to stop it. And it was so easy to stop. It was just a little pill; not a gun in an enemy's hand.
He hesitantly put the pill down. What to do now?
This wan't as easy as he had thought it would be. Perhaps, he wasn't supposed to be dead. Maybe, he just had to bear his burdens and walk on. What he would do, he wasn't sure.
Yes, he decided. That was his fate. Not a poison pill. Not joining everyone he cared about. He chuckled grimly. What would they think about him if he had? They would probably chastise him. He was still alive. He needed to treasure that.
He found that this was true.
So ist das Leben-hart aber dafür gemein.
