Thanks for the reviews, especially Dani3la, for calling this story "genius". :) It was just what I needed after a really crappy day -- you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that there are people out there who get it.
Now here is where things get really AU...
Chapter 9. Wayne
Kate's next trip into the past was by far the most surreal, as she found herself sitting on the steps of her parent's old house, playing with the lighter she'd used to kill Wayne. Any minute now, his truck would come rattling down the driveway, and give her the chance to repeat what was arguably the biggest mistake of her life, or walk away and never look back. Part of her, the part that still felt no remorse, could see a certain satisfaction in blowing him up a second time, but in hindsight, she knew that if she did, she'd never be free from him.
His ghost would follow her to the other side of the world, to places as remote as the island, tainting every moment of happiness, every worthwhile experience, she managed to find from then on. It would make meaningful relationships almost impossible: Tom, Kevin, Sawyer, Jack… not just because of the moral grey area that her criminal past presented; which he seemed to have accepted; but because she'd never be able to stop looking over her shoulder. She'd never be able to settle down, just like the marshal had taunted her.
It would ruin her life, but it didn't have to.
Stuffing the lighter into the pocket of her jeans, she stood and let herself into the house, making her way to the kitchen, her eyes wandering over the cheap knick-knacks and framed pictures her mother had decorated it with to make it feel more like a home, and less like the prison it was in actuality. She had never hated anything, even the cages at the Hydra station, as much as she hated that place; she would've loved to see it all burn, but instead, she switched the gas off, and opened the window, letting the butane dissolve harmlessly into the night air.
She didn't think she could face the man himself, though; not without changing her mind; so when she heard his truck outside, she ducked out the back door, slipping around the front in the shadows to retrieve her bike. Stumbling onto the porch, he squinted in her direction when the engine roared to life, but he didn't call out to her, seeming to think that he'd imagined it in his drunken state.
She'd already put her life in order to go on the run, quitting her job, and giving up her apartment, so, figuring that her best course of action now was to get as far from Cedar Rapids, and Wayne, as possible, she decided to go to L.A., where she wouldn't be tempted. If she could find Jack and build up his trust, maybe he could help her convince the pilot to cancel their flight…
At least that's what she tried to tell herself she was doing; that it was all for the greater good, and not her own desperate need to find out what could have happened between them if it wasn't for the obstacles that kept getting in their way on the island. It wasn't personal gain. Not really.
Her mother was clearing plates off the counter when she walked into Keith's Diner; watching her, so much more like the woman who'd raised her than the last time she'd seen her, she wanted to run into her arms like she would have when she was a little girl, but she wasn't a little girl anymore, and she could never forgive her for taking his side, for turning her in. She was her mother. She was supposed to want to help her, but she didn't. She never had.
Glancing up from her work, her mother acknowledged her with a strained smile, coming over to meet her as soon as she was done. "Coffee, pie… both?"
Eyeing the bandage on her wrist, remembering how she'd tried to lie about it the last time she was there, how everything about their relationship was a lie, Kate didn't bother to make small talk with her this time. "Actually, I'm here to say goodbye," she told her, not realising, until the words were out of her mouth, how fitting they were. In less than a year, her mother would be dead; in some ways, that made leaving her easier, knowing that Wayne would never get the chance to taking his beatings too far.
"When you say 'goodbye'…?" her mother prompted, frowning at her as she seemed to figure out what it was that Kate was trying to tell her.
"I mean I'm not coming back," she agreed, finding that she wasn't as sad as she thought she would be. While she knew that she would never stop loving her mother, the fragile relationship that they'd had had died the day she found out that everything she thought she knew about herself was built on a lie.
"Are you even going to tell me where you're going?" her mother pressed, raising her eyebrow, and even though she tried to sound cold, disapproving, Kate could see the hurt etched into her features.
And the defeat.
"L.A.," she confessed, softening towards her, but not enough to change her mind.
Her answer only seemed to confuse her mother further, since she'd never expressed any interest in L.A., or California before. She just wasn't the type to run off to Hollywood. "What's in L.A.?"
"My future," she told her with a grin, thinking of Jack; reaching into her pack, she pulled out the insurance policy she'd taken out when she was making preparations to kill Wayne.
"What's this?" her mother asked when she slid it across the counter to her, figuring that she should hold onto it anyway, just in case. Maybe Wayne would blow himself up one day. She could hope. But even if he didn't, she was glad to be rid of it, and the terrible burden she'd carried after his murder.
"It doesn't matter anymore," she said, standing up, and slinging her pack over her shoulder.
Giving her mother one last hug, and kissing her cheek, she headed out of the diner, pausing just long enough to add, "And Mom? I'd get that arm checked out if I were you – you never know what they might find," before turning and walking out of her life, most likely forever.
When she got settled again, she'd invite her to come stay with her, but she doubted that she would without Wayne.
She'd made her choice.
It was time for Kate to make hers.
Hopping back on her bike, she rode to the airport, discarding it there along with everything else that belonged to her old life. She'd already withdrawn her savings, and shut down her accounts, so she bought a ticket to L.A. for cash, boarding the plane with no idea what she was going to do when she got there beyond finding Jack. She didn't even know what she was going to say to him when she did, or if he would want anything to do with her in this reality, without the shared experience of the crash, but if there was one thing in her life that she'd always wished she could do over, it was getting to know him.
Next chapter: Jack and Kate meet in L.A. (without Michael to cause anyone's deaths! Yay!) ;)
