Contains swearing, and love between people of the same sex. (Apparently that bothers some people)
I have my preliminary HSC now! Gah and I stuffed English. Well no, I didn't but I didnt have enough time for the composing task so its not as good as it could be…oh well…here's more story for you.
Sunday dawned, and Nicole Julian got up far early than she wanted to.
Her mother was going to church, and Nicole had to go with her.
The display of 'parenthood' last night had been explained as soon as she woke up to see her mother, fully dressed, wearing an expensive but plain dress suit, with a hat and scarf. "I'm running for government dear" Ms Julian said.
"Good morning to you too" Nicole mumbled, turning over.
"You're coming to church with me, so get dressed."
"What?" Nicole sat up in bed and faced her mother.
"We don't go to church. I've never gone to church in my life." she argued.
"Use your head girl." Ms Julian had snapped. "America wants decent, church-going people in office."
"Decent, church-going people?" Nicole repeated skeptically. "Not that I am an expert on 'decent people' but I'm fairly sure you can find them anywhere, not just in churches." she said.
"Not according to mainstream America you can't" Ms Julian said, lobbing Nicole's shoes at her.
"Now get dressed!"
Half an hour later Nicole emerged from the shower and dressed then went downstairs.
Half a minute later she went back up the stairs to get changed again.
Scowling ferociously she came downstairs again. Ms Julian gave her a quick once over and nodded her approval.
This is ridiculous. Nicole thought. I look like a twelve-year-old going on a picnic.
Once the car had been brought round Nicole and Ms Julian got in, and sat in silence on the way to church. The car stopped, and their driver started to get out and open the ladies door, but Ms Julian waved him away.
"Now Nicole, I want you to put this on." Ms Julian said. She held out a thick silver cross, and showed Nicole the matching one in her other hand.
"You have to be joking. I'm already dressed up like a choirgirl." Nicole said, waving it away.
Ms Julian smiled grimly. "Can you sing?" she asked. "That would look very good…" she mused.
Nicole stared at her mother in shock.
"I thought…" she started.
"What?" Ms Julian asked.
"Nothing" Nicole said.
FlashbackIt was the last day of year 6, primary school.
Nicole stood nervously near the front of the room, glancing around and wondering when 'Mum' would get there.
Robin's mother smiled and clapped proudly as Robin ran off the stage, her dance number complete.
She stepped up onto the wooden floor, and heard someone hiss softly. She glanced up and saw Ariel Murphy, staring at her hostilely while her oblivious mother chatting with Mrs Shepard. Nicole looked away.
Nicole stood in the middle of the stage and began to sing. Looking around all the time Nicole couldn't spot her mother in the mass of people, and her voice trembled.
She stood straighter as she saw some of the parents smiling appreciatively.
Nicole made it half way through the song before someone called out "Boring."
She faltered and looked around.
Ariel stared at her, and said loudly "She sings like my cat"
"Ariel" Mrs Murphy hushed her. "Don't be rude"
Nicole's eyes filled with tears.
She stopped, and ran off the stage.
Nicole came home that afternoon and cried in her room. Her mother came in, and before she could say anything in response to her daughters tear streaked face Nicole cried,
"Where were you? Everyone else's mother came, why didn't you?"
Ms Julian looked down at her crying daughter. "I came… darling, I was there. I was in the back; I couldn't get through to the front.
Nicole stopped crying with an effort and hiccupped.
"You were?" she asked hopefully.
"Yes"
Nicole hugged her mother hard.
End Flashback
Nicole glared at her mother blackly. You liar she thought. You didn't come. I was just so desperate to believe that you actually cared enough to go that I believed you.
Resignedly Nicole slipped the silver cross over her head, shivering involuntarily when the cold metal touched her neck.
Ms Julian had no such qualms; she slipped the chain over her head, adjusted her hat and got out of the car. Nicole followed obediently, walking side by side with her mother into the church. They sat in one of the front pews and waited.
Much later Nicole stirred, rolling her shoulders and feeling her muscles stretch. She was more bored than even in Glass's classes. Ms Julian poked her in the side sharply, and Nicole sat up straight, bitterly resenting being treated like a fidgety two year old. The man sitting next to her grabbed Nicole's hand and she shook it limply repeating automatically after him "Peace Be With You", and then shaking hands with her mother on the other side, gripping her hand rather tighter than necessary as she repeated "Peace Be With You so that her mother gave her a stern glare of disapproval, daring her to continue.
The priest continued and again Nicole tuned out.
The rest of the service passed in a blur of repeating things she didn't know, half a second behind the rest of the congregation who chanted together automatically. Seemingly Ms Julian had found time to become acquainted with these things, as she knew what to say, and with her usual poise managed to look like an old hand at it.
"Go in peace, to love and serve the Lord" the priest finished, and Nicole got to her feet gratefully.
Nicole followed her mother outside, where she stopped to talk to the priest.
"Will you be joining us next week Mrs Julian?"
Ms Julian smiled charmingly, and didn't object to him calling her 'Mrs' like she usually did when others made that mistake.
"Yes father, certainly. I'll be here with bells on"
Nicole watching this display was slightly sickened, but as the priest turned to her managed to paste a smile on.
"And you my child, are you joining your mother in finding the light of God?"
Thankyou, but these days we have electricity, and if I was looking for an hour and a half of boredom every Sunday I'd join the chess club.
"Of course" Nicole said glibly. "Of course I will, Father." The priest smiled, and the Julian women walked away to their car. Nicole felt sick, and she wondered what the priest would say if she told him about her day with Brooke in the park on Saturday. "Well I think that went off well" Ms Julian said, waving a vague farewell at another parishioner, and stepping into their car. Nicole followed and the driver shut the door after her.
"Will you be heading home now Madam?" the driver asked as he got in the front.
"Yes Erik, just to drop Nicole off then I'm going out again."
"Very good" the driver said, touching his cap respectfully.
Ms Julian pressed a button and a soundproof screen came up behind the driver and the backseat where Nicole and her mother were sitting.
"I think my brain melted and is currently soaking into the red carpet near the altar." Nicole replied.
Ms Julian looked annoyed. "There's no need to be so negative. The hymns were nice."
"You're not telling me you enjoyed that. I can accept it's a career move, even if I don't agree, but anything else?" Nicole said.
"Its…a social experience" Ms Julian said, irritated.
"Yeah, right. Why don't you go volunteer at the homeless shelter, that'll be a nice social experience for you" Nicole scoffed, walking away.
Ms Julian stared after her daughter, shrugged and headed for the sauna.
Nicole dialed the numbers quickly. Someone answered the phone.
"Hello?"
Nicole silently cursed as she realised that she'd called the home phone not Brooke's cell, and that the bored voice on the other end belonged to the brunette journalist, not the blonde cheerleader she'd had in mind.
"Hello? Hello? Who is this?" Sam said impatiently. Nicole hung up, and dialed Brooke's mobile.
"Hey, this is Brooke. I can't answer the phone right now, but feel free to leave a message and I'll get back to you"
The recorded voice sounded in her ear and Nicole sighed petulantly. "Hey, this is…well you know" she forced out through gritted teeth. "Call Me," she said, lowering her voice to disguise it, feeling ridiculous all the time.
I don't know what the dominant sect of Christianity is in America, or wherever Popular was made so I'm going by the only church services I've ever been to. Not that I am a Christian, but I have been to church.
The next day Nicole again got up earlier than she wanted to, this time for school. Brooke hadn't called.
She headed to school, pulling up in the car park and parking beside a silver Toyota. She glanced at the new wheels she'd gotten. "Better be air in them when I come out or the journalist is getting a foot up the ass."
She walked into first period and winked at Brooke, who grinned back whilst her face was hidden by her books.
Nicole sat down up the back, yawning ostentatiously.
Mary Cherry sat next to Brooke and Nicole felt a pang. As great as it was to have Brooke, sitting by yourself is never fun, and she wished suddenly that they could be open about their friendship…not necessarily about their 'more than' friendship though.
Sam walked in, and made a big show of putting her bag down, tossing her dark hair around in a way Nicole would have been sure to call her on, normally. This wasn't a normal situation and thus Sam's Pantene commercial imitation would pass by uncommented on, although Nicole did manage to sneer at Sam's back.
Sam didn't turn around and Nicole occupied the rest of the lesson looking at Brooke's back and drawing on her desk.
Brown eyes glared at Nicole.
Whispered words.
"After school"
They nodded eagerly.
The bell rang and the petite blond stood, avoided the eyes of her classmates, who looked on her loathingly, and stalked out, on onward to her next class. School sucks.
Light was fading; the clear blue sky had faded to a pale red dusk.
Nicole Julian hitched up her bag, tossed her head and headed across the deserted parking lot. The air was still in her tires, but she'd been locked in the Novak before the start of last period and had spent that period picking the lock on the bathroom door. Nicole looked around at her car, and saw a tall willowy blonde leaning against it.
"Brookie" she said happily, walking over to her friend and kissing her.
"Nic, where have you been?" Brooke asked, after returning the kiss.
Nicole stiffened. "Nowhere"
"What happened?" Brooke asked concernedly.
"Nothing" Nicole sighed. Last thing I need is pity.
'Goddamn it Nic tel me" Brooke snapped.
"Fine. I was in the Novak." Nicole sighed in exasperation.
"Someone locked you in?"
"Looks that way."
Brooke was starting to wish she hadn't asked, more so when Nicole said simply "They think they're doing you a favor."
"I'll tell them to stop it." Brooke said determinedly.
"Nice plan, except for the fact that to everyone else you hate me, remember?" Nicole said.
Samantha Macpherson watched from behind another car. She'd been a bit late, and hadn't spotted Nicole until she was talking to Brooke.
She stared openmouthed as Brooke said something to Nicole, looked like she was apologizing for something. 'Nicole should be doing that' Sam thought.
Okay, that's enough. I've got to find out what's going on here.
"Brooke" she called, emerging.
The two blonds jumped a foot in the air, and Nicole went pale.
"What are you doing here?" she said to Nicole poisonously.
Nicole didn't reply, just stared at her.
"What's going on, Brooke?" Sam said deliberately.
Brooke blinked a few times, opened her mouth and said, "Uh, well Nicole has uh."
"Been harassing you?" Sam interjected hopefully. Murderer- or she amended attempted murderer.
Nicole met Brooke's eyes.
It's either nod, or tell her all. She thought. A hint of recognition entered Brooke's eyes and Nicole knew she'd gotten the message.
"Yeah, or trying to" Brooke said, smirking at Nicole. 'I'm sorry' she thought, seeing the hurt in Nic's eyes.
"Just forget her, come on let's get out of here." Sam said, gesturing.
"And you" Sam said, getting right up into Nicole's face. "Keep away from my stepsister!"
Nicole's eyes filled with tears. She looked desperately at Brooke, but got no response. Nicole's heart felt like it was about to break. You idiot, you knew this was what would have to go on, why are you acting like this? she berated herself.
I understand. Them or me, and you picked them.
Still too much of a Julian to cry in front of Spam Nicole turned away, walking slowly.
"Skank" Sam shouted after her.
Nicole kept walking. She didn't look back, didn't want to see Brooke and Sam walking away together.
Slowing down eventually Nicole realised that she'd for some stupid reason walked away from her car and blushed. She slowly started walking back. It was full night then, and she looked around apprehensively as she approached her car. Nothing. Relieved Nicole got in her car and drove home, embarrassed and furious. Bloody Brooke. What the hell happened to my backbone?
Sam is a bit OOC here, but then again she always will be with me, I can't write Samantha as a completely honorable human being. Okay most people will also probably think Nicole is OC, but I don't care.
Later
"Please, is she there?" Brooke asked.
"I've told you Miss, she's not here."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure, please stop calling you are tying up the phone," Ms Julian said irritably.
"Sorry" Brooke said.
Slam. The sound of the phone being hung up.
"Damn it." Brooke cursed.
Ms Julian came into Nicole's room. "Listen Missy, next time you fight with one of your friends you answer the phone!"
Nicole sighed. "Kay"
She stared idly at a painting on her wall, her hands fiddling nervously with a button on her shirt. "Stop that" she said to herself when she noticed what she was doing. "Nervous habits are the prerogative of the feeble."
Nicole continued to fiddle with her shirt, the words not holding the same power as they used to.
She checked her cell phone and smiled wryly. 8 missed calls.
"All right, fine." she muttered.
"I'll talk."
She quickly dialed Brooke's number, and waited patiently.
"Hello?"
"Hello." Nicole said stiffly. Why am I doing this? I have nothing to say to her.
"Nic? That you? Where have you been? I've been trying to call you all night!" Brooke said.
"I know."
"You know? Why didn't you answer the phone, why'd you get your mum to say you weren't there?"
Nicole said nothing thinking 'isn't it obvious?'
Brooke's voice softened. "I'm really sorry Nic. I just, didn't know what to say. What else could I do?"
Nicole bit her lip, holding back a tirade. She sighed, suddenly feeling tired.
"Look…forget it." Nicole said finally. "I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep."
"Okay" Brooke said doubtfully. "I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
"Bye" Nicole said, hanging up the phone.
"Bye" Brooke said to the empty room. Nostalgia time. She thought wryly and pulled out some photos. One of Brooke and Nicole, Brooke was smiling at the camera and Nic had her head tilted slightly away, seemingly focused on something out of view. She laughed as she reached the next one, a family photo with Jane, mike and Sam, Sam was shooting Brooke a poisonous look, and Brooke was returning it. "Jeez…I really hated her." Brooke said aloud, its funny how things change. The next photo was of Brooke, Josh and Sam, Josh had his arm around Brooke's waist and Sam was rolling her eyes at the camera. Brooke smiled at Josh's face. We were the 'perfect' couple…I believe it was Sam who called us Queen Barbie and King Ken…of course, the fact that I wasn't the slightest bit attracted to him helped explain our break-up. Brooke frowned again. Nicole reckons I'm scared. She's not exactly in a hurry to leap out of the closet anytime soon either.
In the Julian residence, Nicole was looking at her own (much smaller) photo collection. She brushed over the family ones hastily, not wanting to see those sterile portrayals. She continued to shuffle until she found what she was looking for. A photo of Brooke and Nicole, both happy. The fact that josh was in this photo too bothered Nicole. He had his arm around Brooke's shoulder possessively and she was leaning on him. Nicole stood alone next to them, not smiling but as happy as she ever got then. A smile played on her lips as she looked at Brooke. Okay, I'm mad. Nevertheless, not mad enough to stop wanting to kiss those lips. She thought as she stared at Brooke.
It was lunchtime, and Nicole was touching up her make-up in the Novak, amazed that her chaotic emotions were not visible on her face. Brooke entered, followed by Mary Cherry. Brooke said nothing, but smiled at Nicole in the mirror whilst Mary Cherry was in the toilet. Nicole didn't smile back, her face strained for a moment, making her look old and tired, before it disappeared underneath her usual hard-edged facade.
Mary Cherry came out, and washed her hands. "Why hello Nicole. Where have you been hiding yourself?" she said chirpily. Nicole raised an eyebrow. "I haven't been hiding." she replied.
"I need to talk to you" Brooke mouthed behind Mary Cherry's back.
Nicole turned away but tossed her head in a way that resembled a nod.
"Didn't Harrison say he had something for you before Mary?" Brooke suddenly burst out.
The Texan looked confused. "Joe? I don't think so…oh Brooke, it was probably meant to be a surprise and you've gone and ruined it" she scolded, a grin on her face.
"Yes well, you should probably go soon…"
Nicole rolled her eyes as the ditzy cheerleader rushed out, leaving Brooke behind.
"I cannot believe she fell for that." Nicole commented.
"Mm." Brooke said absently, not looking at her but instead staring at a shadowed corner like it was a television set.
Nicole looked at Brooke and was startled to see tears in her eyes.
"What's wrong Brookie?" Nicole asked, stepping over to her and touching her shoulder gently.
Brooke stepped back. "Don't. Don't make it worse."
"What?" Nicole said, genuinely confused.
She watched the head cheerleader cry for a moment.
"What's wrong?" Nicole asked again, a sick feeling of foreboding coming over her.
"I. You. I can't do this." Brooke stumbled, and then brought herself under control.
"What can't you do?"
"Nic. I'm breaking up with you." Brooke said.
Nicole stepped back a pace, feeling as though she'd been slapped.
A million questions and comments flew though her head.
"Why?" she asked at last, choosing the most relevant one.
"I just…I can't."
"Fuck you" Nicole growled. Her heart had frozen solid on Brooke's words and she grimly determined it would defrost no more. She bit hard on her lips to stop from crying out like a kicked dog "But I love you."
Brooke looked startled.
"What?"
"You heard me. Go on fuck off! Go back to your friends" Nicole spat the last word out like it was poison. She couldn't believe this was happening to her, again.
"You're just like Her. She told me everyone was like this but I didn't believe her," Nicole said out loud, talking more to herself than to Brooke. Brooke stared at the smaller girl through her tears, seeing blood welling up on her lips.
"Nic…"
"Go Away bitch."
Nicole stood in front of Brooke angrily and when it became apparent the other girl wasn't going to move sneered, saying,
"Since you're walking out on me, I'll walk out on you. Enjoy the rest of your life" and then she walked out, running into Lily, who gasped and said
"Nicole?"
Nicole turned the full force of her angry gaze on the slight Latina girl, and then kept walking.
Lily stared after her, and stepped into the bathroom to see an unexpected sight. Brooke McQueen, sitting in a chair in a flood of tears.
"Brooke?" she said uncertainly.
Brooke raised her head slowly, and met Lilly's eyes.
"Its you" she whispered.
"Sorry?" Lilly said, coming closer.
Brooke looked at Lilly but didn't say anything.
"Did you and Nicole just have a fight?" she asked.
"I don't want to talk about it." Brooke said.
Lilly looked at her. "Fine, if you won't talk to me I'll talk to Nicole." she said, walking out.
Okay, I am writing this for my own pleasure, but constructive criticism is good, helps you express yourself better.
LOL subtle hint there.
