ROBOT OF SHERWOOD

The Doctor was writing Gallifreyan math equations on a chalk board when he spoke up.

"Take a punt."

"Right." Clara said as she rounded the TARDIS console.

"Your choice." He continued writing on the board. "Wherever, whenever, anywhere in time and space."

"Well, there is something, someone that I've always wanted to meet." She looked up dreamily, "But I know what you'll say."

"Try me." The Doctor said, still scribbling on the chalkboard.

"You'll say he's made up, that there is no such thing." Clara said, now gaining the Doctors attention as he turned to look at her.

"Go on."

"It's. It's Robin Hood." She grinned.

"Robin Hood." He repeated. Clara headed up to the gallery to join the Doctor.

"Yeah. I love that story. I've always loved it, ever since I was little." She stopped to stand beside the Doctor.

"Robin Hood," He said again, "The heroic outlaw, who robs from the rich and gives to the poor."

"Yeah."

"He's made up. There's no such thing." He turned to his book shelf.

"Ah," She waved a hand at him, "You see?" And the Doctor takes a book from his bookcase.

"Old-fashioned heroes only exist in old-fashioned story books, Clara." He flipped open and went through the pages.

"And what about you?" Clara said and watched as he put the book back on the shelf.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. You stop bad things happening every minute of every day." She said as the Doctor turned away from her and took a few steps. "That sounds pretty heroic to me." The Doctor then licks something from a large metal spoon, perhaps custard?

"Just passing the time." Then he spun around to face Clara again. "Hey, what about Mars?"

"What?!" She said sounding upset.

"The Ice Warrior Hives." He said and spun the chalkboard around.

"You said it was my choice."

"Or the Tumescent Arrows of the Half-Light. Those girls can hold their drink."

"Doctor."

"And fracture fifteen different levels of reality simultaneously." He pointed the spoon at Clara. "I think I've got a Polaroid somewhere." He then put the spoon into his jacket pocket, and he headed down the stairs to the console.

"Doctor! My choice. Robin Hood. Show me." Clara paused on the staircase.

The Doctor breathed. "Very well." He then set in the coordinates.

"Earth. England. Sherwood Forest. 1190AD." He flipped something and the TARDIS made a hum. "Ish. But you'll only be disappointed." Then he flipped the final lever and the TARDIS engines revved up and sent them off.

XxXxXx

The Tardis materializes slightly up on a slope beside a stream with a large log acting as a bridge, and the Doctor steps out.

"No damsels in distress, no pretty castles, no such thing as Robin Hood." He said pleased with himself.

An arrow suddenly slams into the TARDIS next to him. A figure dressed in Lincoln Green pops up from behind a tree trunk on the other side of the stream. The Doctor takes a few steps closer to get a better view of the person.

"You called?" He man winks and heads closer. "Very, very nicely done with the box, sir. I saw a Turk perform something very similar at Nottingham Fayre." The Doctor pulls the arrow out, and the hole vanishes, though he rubs the spot where it was hit. "It's a trick with mirrors, no doubt?"

"A trick?"

"A good jest. Ha, ha!"

"This is not a trick." He pointed back with the loose arrow. "This is a TARDIS".

"Whatever it is, you bony rascal," Robin Hood spoke with his hands on his hips. "I'm afraid I must relieve you of it."

"It's my property, that's what it is." The Doctor said and tossed away the arrow.

"Well, don't you know all property is theft to Robin Hood?" Robin spoke as he walked and stopped on the log crossing.

Suddenly, from the out of nowhere a figure fell from the sky and appeared on the group.

"Ow!" The figure, who turned out to be a girl stood up and dusted herself off from the fallen leaves.

"A-Azalea?" The Doctor said aloud. Then the girl turned around.

"Yeah, the last time I checked!" She spoke.

XxXxXx

"Well, where am I?" I asked and looked around. I turned to look and I noticed a man in green leotards and a bow and arrow.

"No, no, no ,no, no way! It's Robin Hood!" I cheered and clapped my hands. I walked to the Doctor. "I cant believe I'm meeting Robin Hood!" Then I looked up at the Doctor. Though he looked at me a bit oddly.

"Hello, Doctor? Are you alright?" I asked him and waved a hand in his face. He shook his head, seemingly snapping out of the daze he was in.

"Yes, sorry. I was just uh, thinking." He scratched his head. "I haven't seen you this young in a long time."

"Young? I just had my 21st birthday not long ago." I laughed. "I better hope I still look young." The Doctors eyes widened.

"Oh you're early, very, very early aren't you." He mused and looked over me and caressed my cheek with the back of his hand and I closed my eyes at the touch.

"Yeah, I suppose. Just came from Midnight. Did you ever figure out what that was?" I wondered.

"Oh my very young. And no, no I haven't." He said, never taking his eyes off of me.

"Another trick no doubt?" Robin Hood spoke trying to get our attention. "Beautiful damsels falling from the sky, I have yet to see that one. I'll say it again, I must relieve you of your magic box."

"You're not serious." The Doctor said, pulling me to his side.

"I'm many things, sir, but I'm never that. Robin Hood laughs in the face of all. Ha, ha, ha."

"And do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?" I grinned and covered a laugh. I rather not laugh at a character I have always dreamed of meeting.

"Not as of yet." Robin shook his head.

"Lucky I'm here then, isn't it?"

"Might be a little bit much," Clara said as she came out of the TARDIS and headed towards them. "But what do you reckon, Doctor?" Then she looked to me. "Who's that?"

"Clara, Azalea," He told her. "Azalea, Clara, there introductions out of the way."

"Oh I know who Clara is." I ran up to her and grabbed her hands. "It is so good to finally meet you!" I grinned. "And might I say, that is a lovely dress."

"Thanks." She paused. "Azalea? But?"

"She hasn't met you, in fact this is her first time meeting me, well, with this face." The Doctor looked to Clara and gave her a look, unbeknownst to me.

"Oh oh! I get it, right." Clara looked to me and smiled. "It's good to finally meet you. The Doctor has told me lots about you."

"Has he now?" I winked at him out of the corner of my eye. The Doctor blinked quickly but turned his attention back towards the thief in tights.

"By all the saints. Are there any more in there?" Robin exclaimed.

"Is that?" Clara's eyes widened

"No." The Doctor said.

"Yes." I disagreed.

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God!" She squeezed my hand happily. "It is, isn't it? You found him. You actually found Robin Hood." Clara became all girl and giggly, much like how I was acting, but come on, who wouldn't when they get to meet the Robin Hood.

"That is not Robin Hood." The Doctor denied and I sighed. He was such a hardhead at times. I walked up to stand beside him and Clara came along, smiles and all.

"Well then, who, sir, is about to relieve you of your magic box?" Robin said as he drew out a long sword. The Doctor stretched an arm out in front of me and then marched confidently onto the bridge.

"Nobody, sir. Not in this universe or the next." He declared.

"Well then sir," He pointed his sword at the Doctor. "Draw your sword and prove your words."

"I have no sword. I don't need a sword." The Doctor opens his coat and spins around to prove it.

"Is the Doctor handsome when he's about to fight in a duel or what?" I said and stared googly eyed at my Doctor.

I felt a pat on my shoulder. "Only in your eyes hun." Clara shook her head.

"Because I am the Doctor." He dons a gauntlet, which came out of nowhere. I wonder where that was hidden. Then he reached into his jacket. "And this is my spoon. En garde!" The Doctor took fighting stance and then they began trading thrusts and parries. The spoon stands up to the sword very well apparently. The Doctor hits Robin on the back of the neck as he passes him.

"Ow!"

"You're amazing." I cheered and the Doctor grinned at me quickly.

"I've had some experience." He said between thrusts and parries. "Richard the Lionheart. Cyrano de Bergerac. Errol Flynn. He had the most enormous…"

"Ahem." Clara interrupted him.

"Ego." The Doctor finished and continued fighting.

"Takes one to know one." Clara said and I laughed.

The Doctor manages to slap Robin's backside.

"Oh, you." Robin retaliates by cutting a button off the Doctor's coat. So the Doctor holds his arms wide open and Robin lunges with his sword. I felt my heart skip a beat for a moment, concerned for his safety. The Doctor deflects it and does a little turn so that he and Robin are back to back on the trunk. Then he sticks out his bottom and pushes Robin into the water.

"Doctor! That was fantastic!" I cheered and ran towards him, onto the log, along with Clara. Meanwhile the Doctor stood there polishing his spoon.

"Like I said. My box."

"Doctor?" Clara says and the three of us look into the water not seeing where Robin went. Though if I remember correctly, I turned to look behind and saw Robin. I winked at him. He winked back and Robin pops up behind the Doctor and pushes him into the water. Clara, Robin and I laugh at the now wet Doctor. I decided to hop in and help him back to his feet.

"There you go." I said as I helped him up.

"You knew he was there, didn't you? He asked and he shook his jacket. I looked around.

"Maybe." I said. The Doctor looked at me unamused but then opened his wet arms.

"Oh, no. No wet hugs for me!" I yelled trying to run away in the knee high water but, the Doctor was too quick and he wrapped me up in a wet hug.

A moment later he spoke. "As I thought. Hugs are only good if done with you." He said and relaxed around me.

I wanted to 'awe' at that but thought different of it and embraced him back. When we let go I decided that I needed a change of attire.

Clara pulled me into the TARDIS and I gathered up a new outfit. The TARDIS actually picked some out for me. It seems like she's come around and likes me now. I smiled and patted her softly.

My dress was much like Clara's but I opted for a blue one. My blonde hair didn't need to be curled as it was like that naturally but I pulled some of it up for a bit of effect. I also added some red lipstick. This was my first 'dress up' so I wanted to go all out for it!

When Clara and I came out the Doctor looked at me and stopped in his tracks. I suddenly felt very embarrassed. What if he thinks this is cheesy? Though he walked up to me and grabbed my hand.

"You look lovely." He said, and I couldn't help but blush.

"Thanks." I smiled.

XxXxXx

A few thatched wattle-and-daub buildings, and a Celtic cross on a plinth where what stood in this village. Knights in full armour walked around and made the chickens scatter. A young woman is being dragged away chained to yoke across her shoulders. An old man runs up to them.

"In the name of all that's holy, take our money, take our treasure, but spare my ward." The old man yelled at the knights.

"Do not fuss. All will be well." His ward told him teary eyed.

"This is the Sheriff's doing. If he were here now, I'd tear out his black heart!" The old man sad. A figure back-lit sitting on a horse speaks.

"Would you now?" The man dismounts from the horse. "Or are you as milk-livered as your name suggests, Master Quayle?"

"Take me. Spare this dear child." Quayle cried.

"Take you? A lardy lack-wit like you?" He said as he opened a chest and rummaged through the gold and jewels inside. "It's labour we require up at the castle. Labour and gold. Not old men and their worthless baubles. This will be a great help, Master Quayle, believe me. Newcomer to Sherwood, are we?"

"Yes, my Lord." The ward spoke.

"You may also prove useful. Bring her." The Sheriff said.

"Your days are numbered, you cur." Quayle said and spits in the Sheriff's face.

"You shall live to regret that. Actually, no. You won't." The Sheriff then stabs Quayle in the stomach.

"No! No!" The ward yelled and cried.

XxXxXx

The trio now find themselves in a narrow gully. Robin and his outlaws live in shallow caves under the tree line.

"Let me introduce you to my men." He pulled myself and Clara to him for introductions. "This is Will Scarlet. He is a cheeky rogue with a good sword arm and a slippery tongue."

"My ladies." Will grinned and bowed lightly. Then the Doctor pulls some of his hair out as he bows, and scans it with the sonic screwdriver.

"Oh, Doctor." I said and shook my head.

"Argh! What do you want with my hair?" Will asked as he rubbed his head.

"Well, it's realistic, I'll give you that." The Doctor said, then tossed the hair away.

"And this is Friar Tuck." We saw a man come from behind Will. "Aptly named for the amount of grub he tucks into."

"You skinny blackguard." Tuck said and the men laugh. As he steps forward, he nearly falls, as the Doctor stands up holding Tucks sandal. I put my hand to my forehead and gave it a shake.

"What are you doing?" Tuck yelled at him

"This isn't a real sandal." The Doctor said.

"Yes, it is."

The Doctor takes a sniff. "Oh. Yes, it is."

"Doctor enough. They are real." I told him.

"No they're not." He quickly denied.

"This," Robin began, "er, is Alan-a-Dale. He's a master of the lute, whose music brightens up these dark days." Clara smiled as Alan began singing and strummed his lute.

"Stranger's you are welcome here, in Sherwood's bonny glade. Ow!" Alan yelped as the Doctor jabbed his arm with a hypodermic gizmo.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. Blood analysis." The Doctor raised the syringe looking device. "Oh. All those diseases. If you were real, you'd be dead in six months." He said.

"Oh dear." I said.

"I am real." Alan said looking a tad sad.

"Bye." The Doctor said and grabbed my hand taking me with him.

"And this is John Little. Called Little John. He's my loyal companion in many an adventure." Robin introduced. The man mountain, that was introduced as Little John, steps aside and a small man jumps forward, laughing, startling Clara.

"Oh!" Clara gasps and begins to laugh.

"Works every time." Will laughed as well.

"Oh, I cannot believe this. You, you really are Robin Hood and his Merry Men." Clara said.

"Aye! That is an apt description. Ha, what say you, lads?" Robin decided.

"Aye!" They all cheered.

"Stop laughing. Why are you always doing that?" The Doctor began.

"Let them laugh Doctor." I told him. He looked down at me and thought, but he couldn't get over the fact that they just cant be real.

"Are you all simple or something?" The Doctor walked towards them. "I'm going to need a sample." The Doctor picks up a goblet and throws away the contents before walking up to Robin.

"Of what?"

"No, Doctor, thats gross." I said and looked away.

"Ahem. Excuse me." Clara said, gaining the Doctors attention. "Sorry. What are you doing?"

"Well, they're not holograms, that much is obvious. Could be a theme park from the future. Or we might be inside a miniscope." The Doctor said and looked above him. He has quite the imagination, I'll give him that much.

"Oh, shut up." Clara said.

"A miniscope. Yes, of course. Why not?" The Doctor reasoned, but she saw me shake my head. Yet he still went back to the band of merry men.

"Your friend seems not quite of the real world." Robin spoke coming towards Clara and I.

"No. No, he's not really." I shrugged.

"Not most of the time." Clara looked back to Robins men. "Dark days?"

"My lady?" Robin asked.

"You said that these were dark days. What did you mean?" I rounded up beside them.

"King Richard is away on crusade, my lady. His tyrant of a brother rules instead." Will told us.

"And the Sheriff. Cos there is a sheriff, right?" Clara asked.

"Aye. It is indeed this jackal of the princes who seeks to oppress us for ever more." Alan said.

"Or six months in your case." The Doctor said and I gave him a quick shove in the stomach. I do that quite often don't I? Though, the Doctor just smirked at me, not minding the contact.

"It is a shame to dwell on murky thoughts when there is such beauty here." Robin said looking at Clara. I giggled inwardly at the flirty vibe.

"Why are you so sad?" Clara asked, as I watched the two of them.

"Why do you think me sad?" Robin asked.

"Because the Doctor's right, you laugh too much."

"You know, I do not live this outlaw life by choice. You see before you Robert."

"Earl of Loxley." Both Clara, Robin and I spoke. I quickly covered my mouth with my hand.

"Yes." Clara said quickly.

"Yes." Robin said.

"Sorry. Do go on." I ushered him to continue.

"I er, I had my lands and titles stripped from me. I dared to speak out against

Prince John. But I lost the thing most dear to me."

"What was she called?" Clara asked.

"You're so very quick. How does the Doctor stand it?" Robin asked. I wanted to laugh. Clara only knew all this cause she's such a big fan! Much like how I know so much about the Doctor. As I watched Clara and Robin talk it made me think of home and how I had watched this all happen on my TV screen. But then that made me think of Abby. I wonder what she's doing right now? Maybe she's telling stories of how her friend was sucked inside a TV screen and hasn't showed up since. I'm going to have to give her a hug the next time I see her. Just thinking about makes me miss her even more.

"Marian?" Clara questioned.

"You know her?" Robin looked amazed.

"Oh, yes." Clara smiled. "I have always known her."

"It was Marian who told me that I must stand up and be counted. But, I was afraid. Now this green canopy is my palace and the rough ground my feather bed. Maybe one day I will return home, but until that day." Robin gripped his necklace. "Until that day, it is beholden on me to be the man Marian wanted, to be a hero for those this tyrant sheriff slaughters." Suddenly, the Doctor approached us.

"What time is it, Mister Hood?" I giggled lightly, and the Doctor winked at me.

Robin looked to the sky. "Somewhat after noon."

"No, no. Time of year? What season?" The Doctor asked.

"Oh, Dame Autumn has draped her mellow skirts about the forest, Doctor. The time of mists and harvest approaches."

"Yeah, yeah. All very poetic." The Doctor walked passed them and I joined him. "But it's very green hereabouts, though, isn't it? Like I said, very sunny." He slung an arm over my shoulders and rested it there.

"So?" Clara asked.

"Have you been to Nottingham?" The Doctor asked.

"Climate change?" She figured.

"It's 1190."

"You must excuse me." Robin began as he made his way back to his Merry Men. "The Sheriff has issued a proclamation and tomorrow there is to be a contest to find the best archer in the land. And the bounty, it's an arrow made of pure gold."

"No! Don't, don't go. It's a trap." I exclaimed while turning around.

"Well, of course it is! But a contest to find the best archer in the land? There is no contest. Ha ha ha!" Robin said and they all laughed together.

"Right, that isn't even funny." The Doctor turned around to look at everyone. "That was bantering. I am totally against bantering." He pointed a finger at them.

"How can you be so sure he is not the real thing?" I asked.

"Because he can't be." He told me.

"When did you stop believing in everything?" Clara asked, and I frowned.

"When did you start believing in impossible heroes?" He retorted.

"Don't you know?" Clara paused, a small smile on her face. "In a way, it's rather sweet."

The Doctor bites into an apple then scans it with his screwdriver. He looks at the apple again and I quickly take it and have a bite. I was a bit hungry since I never ate the chicken/beef meal on Midnight.

XxXxXx

Nottingham Castle. Archery Contest.

"In the contest for the golden arrow, after ten rounds, the battle is betwixt our Lord Sheriff." The Herald announced and the crowd cheered in obligation. "And the stranger known as Tom the Tinker." The Herald introduced and Robin came waltzing in with a wide-brimmed leather hat, and earns a loud applause and cheer.

"Perhaps not such a stranger after all." The Sheriff looked on amused.

"Take your places." The Herald spoke.

"Shall we make the contest a little more interesting, my Lord?" Robin looked downfield. "The targets seem a little close. What say you? Another twenty paces?"

"Why not?" The Sheriff said and the central target of three is moved back. The Sheriff fires his black arrow into the middle of the bulls-eye. "Now, Tinker. Let us see thy true face."

Robin aims his bow and fires his white-fletched arrow which splits the Sheriff's in half.

"Ye Gads! He has split the arrow!" The Herald exclaimed. "Truly, he is the finest archer in all England. Come forward, Tinker. And claim your prize." Robin bows, but before Robin can take the prize, an arrow with multicoloured feathers splits his own. The Doctor walks up looking all smug.

"He's full of surprises, isn't he?" Little John nodded.

"Oh he is." I said and watched happily.

"I'm the Doctor. My skills as a bowman speak for themselves." The Doctor looked to the Sheriff.

'As a cheat maybe.' I thought to myself.

"I claim my reward." The Herald kneels and the Doctor takes the prize. "A mere bauble." He says and he throws it away near the Merry Men. The looked at the arrow in awe.

"I want something else." Doctor said.

"Name it." The Sheriff spoke.

"Enlightenment." The Doctor answered. But from behind him, Robin splits the Doctor's arrow. The crowd cheers for Robin. The Doctor quickly reacted and sent his next arrow which ricochets off a guard's armour to split Robin's. Robin retaliates by not even looking when he looses his missile and once again it splits the arrows down the middle.

"This is getting silly." The Doctor sighed.

"Nah, I'm enjoying it." I smiled and he winked at me, as if saying, 'watch this.'

The Doctor points his sonic screwdriver at the target, and it explodes in a ball of flame. I sighed and began to walk towards him

"You didn't have to go and do that!" I told him.

"Fascinating." The Sheriff began. "Seize him!" The three knights draw their swords. I saw Clara take what looks like a halberd from a rack, and helped her hold it up. We tried to swing it, but it was too heavy for us and we just chucked it away.

"What are you doing? Put that down." The Doctor told us.

"I'm fine. I take Year Seven for after school Tae Kwon Do." Clara said, and the Doctor looked to me.

"What?" I shrugged. "I just like big swords."

"Don't worry, Doctor. I'll save you." Robin Hood said as he leaped in front of the three of us.

"I don't need saving." The Doctor told him.

"Your honour is safe."

"I know." The Doctor muttered.

"For I am Robin." He removes his hat and every one cheers. "Robin Hood!" He throws his hat away and begins to duel with a knight. And soon he severs one of the knights' arms. It falls to the ground and sparks a bit.

"Witchery! Witchery!" Voices in the crowd yelled. The Doctor went over and picked up the arm. I went forward along with him.

"Robot." He said.

"Looks like it." I added, and grabbed the Doctors arm, pulling him away from the Knight, whose visor opened and revealed a metal face. A violet light shine then appeared in a cross pattern from between its eyebrows, and up its forehead.

"Now we're getting somewhere." The Doctor shouted. He stepped in front of me and the Knights began to shoot people with the purple light.

"Take them." The Sheriff began and put on his gloves. "Kill the rest. Kill them all!" The robot knights fired more energy bolts from their foreheads.

"He surrenders!" The Doctor said and pulled me over to Robin.

"What?" Robin shouted.

The Doctor took a fighting stance. "Hai!" The Doctor uses Venusian aikido to knock Robin's sword out of his hand.

"You miserable cur." Robin shouted at the Doctor. "I had them on the run. Flee, lads, flee! Live to fight another day!" The Knights surrounded us.

"Come on!" Tuck yelled and the him and the Merry Men ran for their lives.

"To the dungeons with all of them." The Sheriff said and the Knights escorted then away. Though, I did feel the Doctors hand reach for mine as we continued to walk.

"What are you up to?" Clara asked.

"Quickest way to find out anybody's plans," The Doctor began.

"Get yourself captured." I finished.

XxXxXx

Deep in the castle with little lighting and a high roof, there were screams heard all around, and a giant bubbling crucible. A man carrying a bucket collapses on the floor.

"Here, let me help you." Quayle's ward said as she ran to his side.

"Thank you, Lady." The man said.

A knight walks over and looks at them, visor open.

"What are you?" The ward asked, terrified. "Gargoyle, what are you?"

"Leave it." The Knight spoke.

"He only needs to rest." She began. "We all need to rest."

"Analysis shows that peasant creature is spent." The Knight said.

"No. No, please."

"Usefulness expired." The violet beam on its forehead began to light up.

"No. No! No!" The man shouted. The Knight focused the beam on his forehead, and shot the beam and it turned him into a smoking pile of rags.

"Damn you!" The ward cried. "Damn you and that villain the Sheriff!"

XxXxXx

Currently we were sitting in a dark room. A skeleton was sitting up against a stake fastened into the floor of the stone chamber next to us. I cringed inwardly. I couldn't believe this sort of thing actually happened to people. I know I'm from a modern time, but I just couldn't comprehend how us humans could stoop so low and allow a man to starve to death, while fastened to a stake. I shook my head no longer wishing to look at the poor thing. Instead, I looked to the little light we had pouring in the room from the cross shaped window.

I sighed, the four of us were chained together, with the chains running through large hoops set into stones in the floor. Robin is on the left, nearest to the skeleton, then the Doctor, then myself and then Clara.

"Splendid." Robin muttered. "Enchained."

"Yep." I said and popped the 'p' at the end.

"Trussed up like turkey-cocks." Robin said and leaned forward to look at me. "Thanks to your friend."

"Shut it, Hoodie." He defended. "I saved your life."

"I had the situation well in hand."

"Long-haired ninny versus robot killer knights?" The Doctor laughed. "I know where I'd put my money."

"If you had not betrayed me, I would have been triumphant."

"You would have been a little puff of smoke and ashes. "

"Oh, ha!"

"You'd have been floating around in tiny little laughing bits in people's goblets."

"Balderdash. Ha!"

"Oh, right, here we go. It's laughing time." The Doctor said and looked at me exasperated.

"Well, you amuse me, grey old man."

"Guard! He's laughing again! You can't keep me locked up with a laughing

person."

"Oh, I find that, I find that quite funny. Do you know, I feel another laugh coming on. A-ha-ha-ha!"

"Guards, I cannot remain in this cell. Execute me now."

"Doctor." I said.

"You heard him. Execute the old fool."

"No, hang on. Execute him."

"I do not fear death, so execute away."

"Execute him. I'd like to see if his head keeps laughing when you chop it off!"

"Oh, Robin Hood always laughs in the face of death."

"Yes, rolling around the floor laughing, I would pay good money to see that."

"Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard!" Both Robin and the Doctor shouted.

"Oh, you two, shut up!" I shouted at them. There was a short silent pause. They were acting like idiots. "Do either of you understand, in any way at all, that there isn't actually a guard out there?" I leaned my head back against the stake.

"Oh." The Doctor said.

"I did, in fact." Robin stated.

"No, you didn't."

"She said, shut up." Clara yelled beside me and I snickered then turned to look at the both of them.

"The Doctor and Robin Hood locked up in a cellar. Is this seriously the best that you can do? You're determined to starve to death in here squabbling." I huffed. 'Like idiots.' I kept to myself.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing." Robin spoke as he shifted in his spot. "I'd last a lot longer than this desiccated man-crone."

"Really?" The Doctor wondered.

"Really."

"Well, you know what?" The Doctor said and leaned in closer to Robin and I felt the chain tug me slightly. "I think you'll find I have a certain genetic advantage." I yanked the chain. "Oh!"

"It is not a competition about who can die slower." I told them.

"It would definitely be me, though, wouldn't it?" The Doctor looked at me expectingly. I just nodded and gave him a quick smile. He settled back in his spot, now a bit more content.

"There was supposed to be a plan." Clara said. "Do either of you two have a plan?"

"Yeah, of course I have a plan." The Doctor said.

"I too have a plan." Robin spoke.

"Okay. Robin, you first." I told him.

"Why him?" The Doctor asked, looking a bit peeved.

"Doctor, shut up." Clara said.

"Robin, your plan." I asked. We all looked at him, waiting for his answer.

"I am biding my time." He answered and both Clara and I sighed audibly.

"Thank you, Prince of Thieves. Last of the Time Lords?" I then looked at the Doctor. He sighed and looked at me. Though something was hidden in those eyes that I couldn't quite discern.

"Yes, I have a plan." The Doctor said.

"Can you explain your plan without using the word sonic screwdriver?" Clara pointed out. "Because you might have forgotten the Sheriff of Nottingham has taken your sonic screwdriver, just saying. It's always the screwdriver."

"Okay, let, let, let, let's hear Robin's plan first." The Doctor said, having not remembered the part about the sonic having been taken.

"Oh, for God's sake." Clara grunted as the door was unlocked.

"See? There was a guard. There was guard listening the whole time, I knew it.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Robin laughed. The guard came walking toward them.

"The Sheriff himself commanded me to listen," The guard spoke and his teeth were rotted stumps. "To find out which of you is the true ringleader, well leaders in this case."

"Ah, so he can do the interrogating." The Doctor nodded."Very wise."

"Excellent." Robin said. "He will get nothing from me."

"No, no, no, no. no. He will get nothing from me, because interrogation, that's where I always turn the tables. You see, that's my plan." The Doctor said, as though he making things up as he went.

"Just hurry up and take me to him." Robin asked, raising his chained hand.

"No, no, chop-chop, come on."

The guard walked forward only to unchain Clara and then myself.

"Seriously." Clara said.

"Oh snap." I said.

"Come on." The guard said pulling both of us by our wrists.

"No." The Doctor said and watched as I left the room. I peeked behind before the door was closed and I quickly gave him a smile.

"What are you doing?" Robin shouted.

"Don't be ridiculous! Azalea!" He shouted.

XxXxXx

Clara and I were brought to the Sheriffs room where a table full of food was laid out for us.

"Eat, my Ladies, eat." As he poured himself some wine. "Let it not be said that the Sheriff of Nottingham is a poor host."

Clara and I sat at the other end of the well-stocked table.

"I had a bag of crisps this morning, thanks." Clara said. Though she saw me reaching for an apple and gave my hand a quick slap.

"Yeah, not hungry at all." I said looking back up to the Sheriff. No, I was really hungry since I've only had and apple in the last several hours. I eyed the food again.

"Your words are strange, my fair ladies." The Sheriff said as he continued to eat.

"Mmm, I should think they are." Clara said.

"But I like the both of you. You're refreshingly direct."

"You can take the girl out of Canada." I shrugged. But the Sheriff gave me a quizzical look. Then I noticed the Sheriff hold up something oblong wrapped in cling wrap. Sandwiches?

"Taken from your friend's strange tunic." Then he held the spoon. "An intriguing gallimaufry. Including this wand." The Sheriff then picked up the Doctors sonic and I made a small move forward subconsciously. "Evidently a thing of awesome power. Tell me, are you two from beyond the stars?"

"You're the one with the robot army." I spoke, a bit pissed to see the sonic in his hands.
"You tell me."

XxXxXx

Back in the dungeon, the Doctor and Robin were still bantering back and forth.

"I'm sorry?" The Doctor said and leaned towards Robin.

"No. Beat your breast. Moan. Groan as though twenty devils possessed your guts." Robin said.

"What for?"

"So as to attract the attention of that gargoyle-faced guard."

"It's your plan." The Doctor waved a hand. "You moan."

"No, no. No, it won't work."

"Why?"

"Oh, because you're clearly more advanced in years and you have a sickly aspect to you."

"I have a what?" The Doctor looked baffled.

"You're as pale as milk. It's the way with Scots. They're strangers to vegetables."

"I'm not moaning. You moan."

"Fine. If you want something doing." Robin then moans loudly. "Can I rely upon you to do the rest? "

"Yes, yes, I know the drill." The Doctor said and they heard a guard shuffle to the door.

"What is this din?" The guard spoke.

"No business of yours, cur." The Doctor began and then spoke to Robin. "Speak up. I can't hear you." Robin continues to moan.

"What ails him?" The guard asked.

"None of your business." The Doctor answered and then the guard enters the room.

"I said, what ails him?"

"Well, if you must know," The Doctor began. "He's having a nervous breakdown."

"A what?"

"He's like this whenever he's in any kind of danger. He just can't seem to cope. He gets so afraid." The Doctor said and looked to Robin, who wasn't looking to impressed at what the Doctor was saying about him. "He goes into a kind of fit. I honestly believe that he may die of sheer fright, like some tiny, shivering little mouse." Robin made more of a grunting sound. "Oh, God, I think he's soiled himself."

"Let him die. It will save us the trouble of executing him." The guard said and began walking away.

"And what will happen to the reward?" The Doctor asked.

"Reward?" The guard turned around.

"Oh, God," The Doctor faked a gasp. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Tell me!"

"He carries a vital message. The Prince has promised a bounty."

"A big one?"

"An enormous one."

Robin begins to mumble and the guard leans close to him.

"What's that? Say again?" The guard asks.

"Come closer." Robin said then his eyes pop open. "Your breath stinks like a serpent, has anyone ever told you that?" Robin gives the guard a head-butt, knocking him out cold.

"Soiled myself?" Robin asks.

"Did you?" The Doctor smirked. "That's getting into character. Okay, keys." The guard now lay at their feet, though a tad out of reach.

"I'll get them." Robin began.

"No, no. I'll get them." The Doctor said and reaches out his foot, and Robin does the same.

"I'll get them. I'll get them."

"I'm fine, no, no worries. I've got them!"

"I've got them! I'll get.." Robin stopped because they ended up kicking the keys down a drain, and heard a 'kurplunk.'

"Well, there is a bright side." The Doctor said.

"Which is?" Robin asked.

"Azalea didn't see that." The Doctor leaned back against his stake and Robin let out a large sigh.

XxXxXx

Back in the Sheriff's room, he decided to pull out a dagger and waltzed over to us.

"But enough of tawdry matters." The Sheriff stabbed his dagger into some food. "Let us talk of softer, sweeter things." I stepped in front of Clara.

"Ah. Good, yes, I was hoping we'd get round to that." I started.

"You were? The Sheriff wondered.

"Mmm. For I have known I was destined to draw the eye of a great and powerful man for a long time. Ever since I saw those mysterious lights in the sky." I took a sip of my drink.

"You saw them too?"

"And those strange mechanical men, with their promises." I said softly.

"I too have experienced this."

"Really? Well, I would never have guessed. Tell me your story."

"Tell me yours." The Sheriff counteracted.

"Oh, no, please, you have to go first." I suggested. I was trying very hard to remember how things worked out when this was Clara talking.

"Why so?" He squinted and eye.

"Because great men always precede." I said with a seductive smirk.

"You have a point."

"Your story, then." Clara said from behind me.

"Once upon a time," He rounded behind the both of us and I kept a careful eye on him. "There was a brave and clever and handsome man."

"I can almost picture him." I looked up as though I was imaging the Doctor. "I don't even have to close my eyes." Though the Sheriff moved briskly away, looking annoyed.

"Unappreciated by his royal master." He spoke.

"Prince John?" Clara asked and he turned to look at her.

"The very same."

"Then came the lights in the sky, and everything changed." Clara spoke carefully.

"The sky ship came to Earth in a fury of fire." The Sheriff said.

"I'd almost call it a crash. I remember it well."

"A craft from the heavenly spheres, bedight with twinkling lights and miracles beyond imagining." The Sheriff walked around us and paused behind me. "The most beautiful thing the brave and handsome man had ever seen."

"And I suppose the mechanical men saw you as their natural leader?" I added.

"It was I and I alone to whom the mechanical men then imparted their secrets. Shortly, I shall be the most powerful man in the realm. King in all but name, for Nottingham is not enough."

"It isn't?" Clara asked.

"After this, Derby." He said.

"Right." I breathed.

"Then Lincoln. And after Lincoln.."

"Worksop?" Clara answered. But the Sheriff raised his dagger and slammed it into the table.

"The world!" He shouted.

XxXxXx

The Doctor and Robin Hood were currently running through a passageway. Robin is currently carrying the block with the loop their chains are running through.

"Now what?" Robin asked as they went through a door.

"First, a blacksmith's forge." The Doctor answered and slowly went up a small set of stairs.

"So as to remove our chains?"

"No." The Doctor looked at him incredulously. "So I can knock up an ornamental plant stand. Of course it's so we can get rid of our chains. I don't want to be manacled to you all night."

Robin began to laugh.

"Oh, no. Please, don't do that."

"Ornamental plant stand." Robin repeated.

"It's not even that funny."

"You're an amusing fellow, Doctor." Robin continued to laugh.

"Oh, don't. Can you just stop! You'll give yourself a hernia."

XxXxXx

"So what are you hanging around here for, then, Your Majesty?" I said trying to allure him. "Why are you bothering to squeeze pips out of peasants if you've got a sky ship on stand-by?"

"Enough questions. I'm impatient to hear your story." He told me.

"Oh, but I do not have one. I was lying." I shrugged my shoulder.

"Lying."

"Yeah. People are so much better at sharing information if they think the other

person has already got it."

"Oh, that's very clever." He said looking slightly amused.

"Thank you."

"You'll do very well."

"For what?" I asked.

"Doesn't every king require a consort?" The Sheriff began to lean over me for a kiss, and I quickly manage to duck out of the way. I turned around and pulled Clara close to me. I noticed Clara glaring at the Sheriff.

"Right, you do that again and you'll regret that." I told him, pointing a stern finger at him. Not like my finger could do that much.

XxXxXx

The Doctor and Robin come up some steps, now free of their chains. The Doctor spots an interesting sight, a metal doorway. He goes through it. The area is long, spartan and metal with a glowing hemisphere on a console at the end.

"At last." The Doctor says taking in the look of the room. "Something real. No more fairy tales."

"What is this place?" Robin wondered.

"A spaceship." The Doctor began. "More twenty ninth century than twelfth. Data banks, data banks, data banks. Where was this ship headed?" The Doctor looked to a computer screen which gives all the details.

"The Promised Land again." Looking a tad confused. "Like the Half-Faced Man, but more sophisticated. It disguised itself as a twelfth century castle. It merges into the culture, tries to keep a low profile, so no one notices." The Doctor explains to Robin and moves to the engine in the room. "That explains the robot knights. But the engines. The engines are damaged. They're leaking radiation into the local atmosphere, creating a temporary climate of staggering benevolence."

"I beg pardon?"

"I told you." The Doctor spun to look at Robin. "It's too sunny. It's too green. And there is even an evil sheriff to oppress the locals. This explains everything, even you."

"It does?"

"Well, what does every oppressed peasant workforce need? The illusion of hope." He walks around Robin. "Some silly story to get them through the day, lull them into docility, and keep them working. Ship's data banks. Full of every myth and legend you could hope for, including Robin Hood." The Doctor looks to the data bank and it displays various book illustrations and a photographs showing Robin Hood. Robin looks on in disbelief.

"Isn't it time you came clean with me? You're not real and you know it. Look at you. Perfect eyes, perfect teeth. Nobody has a jawline like that. You're as much a part of what is happening here as the Sheriff and his metal knights. You're a robot."

"You dare to accuse me of collusion with that villain, the Sheriff?" Robin defended.

"I dare."

"You false-tongued knave. I should have skewered you when I had the chance."

"I would like to see you try."

Then suddenly the metal door, the two had come through is blown inwards by lasers.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." The Doctor says and he watched myself and Clara being dragged in, with knights at his side.

"Surrender, outlaw." The Sheriff said.

"Very good." The Doctor said and looked to me, checking me once over. I gave him a nod and a quick smile, saying that I was all right at the moment.

"Kill him. Kill Robin Hood."

"You can drop all that stuff now, Sheriff." The Doctor waved his hands.

"Doctor?" I began.

"He is not what you think he is. This is all play-acting."

"No, it really isn't. Did you listen to me? Do you ever listen to me?" I said exasperatedly.

"We can't just let them kill him!" Clara shouted.

"You're not fooling anyone, Sheriff." Great, this Doctor just ignores me, doesn't he?

A blast from a knight knocks Robin off his feet. I quickly run between him and the attacker. The Doctor noticed me and begins to move to retrieve me but Robin grabs me around the waist and we back up to a window.

"What are you doing?" I asked, having completely forgotten what happens next. I've only just watched this season so things are a bit fuzzy still.

"Surviving." Robin said and I felt his grip tighten around me.

"No!" I shouted and reached my hand out to the Doctor but he was blocked by a knights laser.

Robin falls backwards through the window, taking me with him. I let out a terrifying scream

"No! Azalea!"

Robin and I land in the moat. The full moon is reflected in the rippling water.

"Yeah, sorry about the girl." The Sheriff began. Him and the Doctor were standing, looking out the window, down at the moat. "Such a pretty thing. What a queen she would have made." The Sheriff turns away. The Doctor sees Robin climb out of the other side of the moat with me in his arms unconscious.

The Doctor breathed a small sigh of relief. "Stop pretending. And she'd never be your queen when she's already mine. You and your fancy robots. I get it. I understand."

"Oh, so you too know my plans?"

"You and your robots plundering the surrounding countryside for all it's worth." And as the Doctor says this he has a moment of realization. "Gold. Gold. Of course. Gold. You are creating a matrix of gold to repair the engine circuitry."

"This is the scheme the Mechanicals have devised. Soon this sky ship will depart. Destination, London. There I will obliterate the King and take my rightful place as ruler of this sceptred isle."

"It won't work." The Doctor told him. "There's not a chance. I've seen the instruments. There's been too much damage. You are stoking up a gigantic bomb!"

"Shush." The Sheriff says and points to a knight which swings and first and knocks the Doctor out.

XxXxXx- In the Castle

"Engine capacity at forty eight percent." A knight spoke. Another knight was carrying a gold circuit board away. Then the Doctor wakes up. He noticed Clara chained up beside him, still unconscious.

"Engine capacity at forty eight percent."

"It's not enough. That's not enough. It'll never make orbit." Amongst the wails and groans of downtrodden humanity there is a mechanical whumph!

"That's the engines, building in power. Stupid, stupid Sheriff." He strains at the chains holding his wrists behind his back. "Argh! Go on, give!" He paused and saw a girl looking at him. "Give, you stupid things. What are you looking at?"

XxXxXx- The Outlaws hideout

It was morning when I woke up to sight of Robin's Hoods face, though, from what I could tell, he didn't look very impressed. I touched my head, feeling the bump that I had previously acquired and found it nearly gone already.

"Hi." I said groggily. At least I got a bit of sleep.

"The time for games is over." He said softly and I looked at him confusedly.

XxXxXx- In the Castle

"I think I understand you." The girl which is Quayle's ward began. "The Sheriff's using the gold to replace something."

"That's the principle." The Doctor said and looked around him to make sure no one was watching them. "But he's a moron. If he tries to fly this ship, it'll explode and wipe out half the country. What we need is a little riot." Quayles ward works on the Doctors chains and frees him. "Time to reflect on lasers and gold. Spread the word." The Doctor looked to Clara and nudged her and she woke up with a groan.

"Clara, wake-up. We're having a riot!"

XxXxXx- The Outlaw's hideout

There I was, laying on the ground in my slightly damp dress with Robin Hood and the others looking down at me.

"You will tell me everything this Doctor knows about Robin Hood and his Merry Men." Robin was crouched down beside me.

"What is this?" I sat up quickly. "Why are you interrogating me?" I looked around to all the Merry Men. They looked uncomfortable but where standing behind their leaders decisions.

"And then," Robin stood up. "You will tell me exactly who this Doctor is and what are his plans."

XxXxXx- In the Castle

"You are fit for labour." A knight spoke "Stand aside while this peasant unit is freed."

"I'm afraid you're a little late." The Doctor said.

"Explain." The knight powers up his violet beam.

"I'm already free!" The Doctor says and shakes his hands in the air. The knight shoots a beam which the Doctor reflects with a golden plate and it hits the wall. Quayle's ward produces another plate and this time, the beam is bounced straight back at the knight. It's head explodes. More knights come, but all the workers have plates for shields.


The next part of this chapter should be up right after this. I can't seem to upload documents and when I copy and paste it only allows me up to 9000 words and then I have to do a new chapter. I apologize for not figuring this out!

Review responses are at the end of the next chapter! Thanks :D