HHEEEEYYYY! Hi people, sorry, got a little too excited there. Okay first things first... The people who reviewed my story, you are all my new best friends!. I mean it. You guys have no idea how happy they make me feel:) especially with all the crap my friend and i have been going through lately. anyway, this chapter isn't fantastic either. just another filler, truthfully. I promise, no, swear that the next few after this will be better(obviously, i mean they'll have john in them). So again, thank you, thank you, thank you to the people who've read my story, and imaginary bearhugs to the people who went the extra step and wrote a review:) those reviews make my life(well, so do horses, but reviews are always appreciated too)
A/N: um so this chapter is totally unedited because i just wanted to get it out. i'll go back and fix it later, promise.
DISCLAIMER: umm if i owned the beatles i wouldnt be writing about them on fanfiction would I? i'd be staring at them and drooling, thinking, 'oh my God! I own the freakin' beatles!' (i wish)
Chapter Nine
Get Back
My heart begins racing when all the possible causes of her fear flit across my mind. I crouch down with arms wide open. Annie attacks me with a fierce hug. "Annie, what's wrong?" I ask frantically, still crouched in front of her. The worst ideas are running through my head while I anxiously await her answer. The little girl pulls away from me and looks up at me with her innocent eyes. Thankfully they no longer have such a panicked gleam to them. She shudders before she chokes out, "Martha tried to make me wear a pink shirt again." (AN: haha sorry if you were expecting something serious. i put this in cuz the same thing happened to my mom with me. she came to pick me up from day care when i was like three and freaked when i looked terrified. some kid tried to make me wear something with pink on it)
I take the young girl back into my arms with such a force that it makes me fall over, bringing her with me. I'm so relieved that I don't know whether to laugh or cry so I sort of do a combination of the two. Annie giggles though I'm sure she doesn't know why. Laughing keeps me distracted from all of the other things she could've been frightened about. I feel so dumb. All of my panic was wasted over her fear of the color pink! How absurd. A weight is lifted off my shoulders though; a burden I thought I might have to carry now gone. I hold Annie close, glad she's okay. "Annie, don't do that, okay?" She nods enthusiastically though I'm sure she has no idea what she's agreeing to.
Satisfied that nothing is wrong, I pull Annie and myself to our feet. Smiling up at me, she tells me how much she's missed me. I feel guilty for having forgotten about her once or twice while I was away. Taking my hand, she leads me up the walkway. She doesn't stop talking until a tall figure appears in the doorway. "I see you're finally back. Good. The buildings a mess. I want it spotless in half an hour. And I think I want chicken for dinner. And some of that fabulous tea you found the other day. I expect to have it in my room before six. Oh, and no dinner for you tonight. You haven't been here in a week, therefore you've done nothing to earn it." Her sharp voice grates against my ears. I really did not miss this woman. She tucks her purse under her arm and shoves past me. I bite my tongue, keeping back some harsh words made colorful by the vocabulary John taught me. I have to remind myself that it will only make things so much worse.
Throughout Ms. Kollins' demands, Annie remained quiet, hiding behind my legs. The usually bubbly personality she has returns as soon as the caretaker is out of sight. She tugs my hand and I follow her inside. Many of the other girlspause to wave or offer a small smile. I return whatever's sent and let the little girl guide me to her room. Ms. Kollins had been right. This place is a mess. Halfway up the stairs I stop the small brunette. She looks up at me curiously. "I gotta go clean, hon. I'll be up as soon as I can. Promise," I say truthfully. She frowns, "Will you at least tell me a story?" She seems to accept that because she rushes off. Sighing, I march off in search of a mop.
Very annoyed, I begin the tedious job of cleaning the building. I start in the main hallway where you first walk in. The mud tracks and dust seem to laugh at me. In defeat, I start mopping, humming one of John's songs. A few minutes later another girl comes up to me. Having just turned 17 less than three weeks ago, I'm the oldest girl here. The next oldest girl is 15, and that's Pam. Shyly, Pam picks up a broom and starts sweeping.
"Thanks," I offer after a few moments of silence. I figure she must want something in return because no one ever helps me just for the sake of being kind. She proves me right by asking, "Hey Sadie. Do you mind if I ask you something?"
"Didn't really give me a choice, did you? Anyway, sure."
She blushes slightly before saying, "Oh yea, sorry. So, well, what was it like?" Her young face looks expectant. I raise an eyebrow signaling for her to elaborate. "What was it like? To get away from here?"
Her question suddenly makes much more sense. "Oh. For me, well, it was amazing. As I think about Lucy, Prudence, the freedom I had, and, well, John, I realize that amazing doesn't do it justice. Especially when you consider the fact that it all happened to me. The girl who's life had nothing good happening in it. "I've never had so much fun. The freedom from being away from here. It's so great. But when it ends-when you have to come back and reality hits you. Well, then it's just so much worse to come back."
Pam thinks about my words, a dreamy look on her still innocent face. "I wish I could get out of here, too. But no one ever seems to want a 15 year old."
"Ha. You think no one wants you? I'm 17. Who do you thinks possibly going to want me? You at least still have a chance. Not me," I laugh. The strawberry blond shrugs, "I guess." I clap her on the back. "Aw, cheer up! I'm sure you'll be out of here soon!" She shrugs again.
"Anyway, so what did you do in Liverpool? Anything fun?"
I smile widely, earning a strange look from Pam. I realize this must be because none of the girls here have really ever seen me smile, let alone looking genuinely happy. "Help me clean and I tell you every little detail." Eagerly, she begins sweeping again. Smiling, I start with, "It involves boys." Pam's eyes grow wide. Being in a home for just girls and going to an all grils school meant that none of us really spent much time with boys. I know that this will just make her more interested. She's so in awe that she stops cleaning for a second. "Keep cleaning or I won't tell you a thing. Good. Well, I started out sitting alone in my box until these three boys end up with me..." I tell her the rest of the story as we work on everything. I leave out some parts, such as the conversation John and I had about our pasts and of course I left out the part where he kissed me. That I don't think I'll ever share with anyone. Not for awhile at least. At last, we finish cleaning just as I finish my story. I collapse onto the floor, landing in a sitting position. Pam sits on a nearby stool and sighs, "I can't believe you have to do all that by yourself everyday. How do you do it?"
Shrugging, I reply, "I don't know. I guess I'm just used to it." Pam looks upset, "I'd help you if she didn't get so mad."
I shake my head, "No, it's alright." She sighs again, but this time in envy, "I wish I could've gone on that trip. It sounds like so much fun. And you met boys! And they sound really gear. And they're musicians." I chuckle at her girlishness. "I know, they were great."
"I bet you miss them, huh?" she figures. She's right. I haven't even been back in London more than two hours and I already miss them. "Yea, I do. Anyway, I better get started making dinner. See you later."
Pam heads off toward her room while I make my way to the kitchen. I wonder how any of the girls got fed this past week without me here. Getting back into my routine, I search the cupboards to see what we have. Basically nothing, like usual. I finally find some chicken and some vegetables. I figure they'll just have to deal with it. It's not like there are any other options. I just put the chicken on when I hear the front door banged open. i take a deep breath to control my nerves, hearing Ms. Kollins calling for me. Knowing that something would've had to happen soner or later, I walk to her office. She is waiting for me, standing behind her desk. Her beady eyes scan over me, like a predator analyzing its unfortunate prey. She approaches me slowly. "Don't worry, I won't do anything. Not now at least. I do however have to inform you of something, though. It seems as though the food expenses have been awfully high lately. And to offset it, I don't want you eating anything. Not till I tell you to."
Having spent so much time with those back talking boys, I forget to keep my mouth shut. I say, "But me not eating won't offset that. Not in the slightest."
My eyes grow wide when I realize what I've done. Her twisted smirk is gone and she advances on me without missing a beat, "What did you say to me!" I bite my tongue. She shakes her head. I don't even see what's happening until her hand meets my face. On the same side she hit me just before I left no less. She shoves me against the wall and my head collides painfully with it. "Don't you ever talk back to me, girl. And if you do, well, I suppose I could always let you eat." I let a confused face slip past my defenses and she adds, "Yes. You get to eat while little Annie takes the fall. I'm sure she'll be fine with no food. But if you behave we won't have to find out, will we?" I nod wordlessly. It's one thing when she messes with me, but I hate it when she threatens Annie. I try to keep her as far away from this as I can. I don't want the life I've had to be passed onto Annie. Ms. Kollins knows this all too well and uses it whenever she can. "Now bring me my dinner. Get going!" she snaps. I flee from her office, glad to get out.
Tiredly and with an aching face, I climb the stairs and knock on Annie's door. Suzie, the little girl that shares the room with Annie, opens the door. She smiles shyly when she sees me. Annie greets me happily. The two five year olds scramble onto Annie's bed. They wait eagerly for a story. What story will I possibly tell them? They look up at me eagerly but all I can do is collapse onto their bed. They lay down on either side of me, snuggling up close.
"Sadie? Will you tell us a story? Please?" Annie begs from beside me.
"I don't think I can, hon," I yawn, my eyelids growing heavy already. Sure it's barely 8:00pm, but the weight of this place has already returned to my shoulders. And they are sore. Very, very sore already.
"Annie?" I whisper in a small voice. The little girl asks, "Yea?" Nearly asleep, I wonder, "Do you think you could tell me a story tonight?"
All I remember before I fall into a much needed night's sleep are the words, Once upon a time...
I wake up the next morning, those words still in my mind. When I was little I used to find them so magical, but now, well they aren't. To me, all that fairytale lingo is just that. A fairytale. So far life had shown me that there aren't happily ever after endings. Not that I ever thought of them before then. It seems to me that my life has ended up more like a Brothers Grimm story than a fairytale. Only in the Brothers Grimm versions of the fairytales do all the important characters die. Okay, bad way to start the day off, Sadie, stop being so depressing, I scold myself. Stiffly, I sit up, leaving Annie and Suzie asleep. As quietly as I can, I slip out of their room. The grandfather clock at the end of the hall reads 6:20am.
Since there is no time to get more sleep I find myself outside. I lie down on the white bench in the center of the little garden in the back of the home. I made it about two years back. Most of my free time is spent either in this garden or on the roof. But usually I go on the roof at night so I can watch the stars. Closing my eyes, I inhale the sweet aromas coming from the last few flowers. I take pride in my little garden. It's the one thing of mine that Ms. Kollins leaves alone. I open my eyes and take in the garden. The little bench I'm on is in the center. There is a high wooden fence that runs along the side and back of it, most of it covered with thick vines. Two dirt paths lead out of it, making a neat swirling pattern I designed myself. The rest of the garden is covered by colorful flowerbeds. Well, at least it would be in the right season. Thanks to the chilly November weather, most of my flowers are already wilted and dead. I don't mind, though, because I know that they'll be back. And it gives me something to look forward to. After staring at the sky for awhile, I head back inside to make breakfast. A meal that I realize I'm not allowed to eat anymore.
Ms. Kollins didn't make an appearance the entire time I cooked breakfast. That's highly unusual so it has me a little unsettled. By the time I'm ready to leave for school I still haven't seen any sign of the woman. I sling my messanger bag over my shoulder and head down the front walkway. To my surprise, when I reach the road, Lucy is standing there, waiting. My surprise is quickly replaced with happiness. Maybe she really meant it when she said we would still be friends. When the blond turns around she smiles. "Morning, Sadie!"
A smile slowly creeps onto my face. Lucy falls into step beside me as we make our way to school. It makes me feel good, you know, to have a friend. And Lucy's a perfect friend. She glares at the people who tease me, talks to me nonstop, and genuinely likes spending time with me. We make it through the day without incident until lunch. I haven't seen Prudence at all so far. The only reason I'm nervous about seeing her is because I don't know what to expect. Will she treat me the way she did on the train? Or could all that have been a really mean prank she and her posse put together. I did forgive her yesterday, but I have a really hard time trusting people anymore. I'm probably being verly paranoid about this, but it's really going to hurt if that was all fake. I'm just waiting for everything to get back where it once belonged, you know? With me being friendless and miserable. Not that I want it to, but I can't help but imagine that it just might.
In the end, I realize my worries were unnecessary. Lucy and I find ourselves a table and the moment we do, Prudence takes teh seat beside me. I stare at her in shock for a few seconds. And so does have the population of the cafeteria. She pulls out her lunch like everything is normal. She only stops when she realizes I'm staring. "Oh, don't act so surprised. Your lack of faith hurts me, Sadie. Hi Lucy."
I take my seat, realizing I never got a chance to explain to Lucy what had happened between Prudence and I. Prudence fills her in, beating me to it. Lucy just shrugs, not really saying anything. She doesn't seem to mind, though. Especially not when she and Prudence start talking about the newest dress designer. Or something like that, I'm not really paying that close attention. I really don't care about dresses. Instead, my mind is on Liverpool. Particularly on a conversation I had with John. The one when he called me different. He said it was because I didn't talk about clothes. How right he was, I think to myself, realizing I don't have the slighest clue as to what the two other girls are talking about. I least I could talk about things I really cared about with him.
"...been listening at all? Sadie! Earth to Sadie!" a voice exclaims, slowly coming into focus. I jump, "Huh-what?"
Lucy shakes her head, "We've been talking to you the last two minutes. Were you even listening?"
"No," I answer, unabashed.
She rolls her eyes. "Forget it. Oh, there's the bell. See you two later in Writing."
Prudence and I stand up, collecting our things. "So, was it hard?" I wonder as we walk out the cafeteria. She pauses, "Was what hard?" I gesture to the girls that walk past us, their hatefilled eyes glued to Prudence. "Oh, not really. I just said, 'Screw you all. I've never even liked any of you. I'm leaving in two weeks and I don't want to waste anymore time on you.' It felt good in a way." I nod, glad she did it anyway. Not for me, but I'm glad to see she's doing things for her.
The rest of the day goes smoothly, luckily. I head back to the home right after school lets out, no time to say goodbye to anyone. My stomach growls in hunger. Annoyed, I will it to be quiet. I try not to dwell on thoughts that make me focus on my empty stomach but I can't help but smell the delicious scents wafting out the door of the bakery. Shaking my head, I hurry on. I whirl around when I hear a familiar voice shouting my name. I see Prudence running down the street, black hair flying behind her. As she gets coser I notice her eyes are alive with excitement.
"Sadie! Sadie, wait up!" she yells. She skids to a halt in front of me. "Guess what!"
"What?" I ask, tiredly. I'm so hungry, I really don't care.
"My parents said I could bring a friend with me to help me move. I picked you! Will you come?" she rushes happily. You could see John again, some voice in the back of my head points out. And have some freedom again. After thinking for a moment, I nod, "I will go if you give me your sandwich."
This earns a strange look from Prudence, but she hands me her lunch all the same. I scarf it down hungrily. "Easy there, Sadie. You act like you haven't eaten in a week."
"Actually it's only been four days, but it feels much longer, believe me." I savor the juicyness of the green apple she hands me. My stomach seems to be less angry with me now. That's always good.
Prudence looks appalled. "What do you mean? Why haven't you been eating, Sadie?"
"Ms. High and Mighty declared that me not eating for awhile will offset the high expenses of food for the home. I made the mistake of telling her that wouldn't help at all. Now she's pissed. She hasn't let me eat in nearly five days. Plus, she takes all my money so I have no way to buy food. I've passed out like three times in the last two days. Haven't had any energy either," I explain as if this is a totally normal situation.
Prudence unexpectedly throws her arms around me, "I'm so sorry! I wish I could help you!"
Shrugging inside her embrace, I say, "It's the thought that counts, right?"
"I'm going to miss you, Sadie."
"I'll miss you, too, Prudence."
"So you'll come with me?" Prudence asks hopefully. I nod with fake enthusiasm. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing more I want to do then get back there, but there's no way Ms. Kollins would let me leave a second time. I just don't want to let Prudence down right now though. She squeals in excitement once more before running off. Even though I know she will never say yes, I figure I should still ask Ms. Kollins, for Prudence's sake.
Yawning, I stumble down the stairs quite ungracefully. Annie is right at my heels, already asking me for another story. That child and her fairytales, my God! I slow down when I hear voices coming from Ms. Kollins' office. I grab her tea from the kitchen, a knot tightening in my hungry stomach when I smell the warm biscuit on the tray beside it. I knock on her office door and she says to come in. She is sitting at her desk with a nasty scowl etched on her face. A middle aged couple is sitting in the chairs across from her. A small pang of sadness hits me when I realize that they are about how old my parents would be. "I brought your-" I begin, only to be rudely cut off. "Yes, I can see that. Ugh, get that child out off here," she snaps upon seeing Annie hiding behind my legs. She is waving shyly at the couple. Smiling, they return the gesture. They seem a bit confused by Ms. Kollins harshness. I set the tray on her table and kneel down to Annie's height. "I'll meet you upstairs, kay, hon. I promise I'll tell you a story. But later. Alrighty?" I say softly. She nods, grinning, and disappears.
"Good riddance. I-where do you think you're going?" Ms. Kollins demands. I freeze in the doorway, then turn to her. "I was-"
"Quiet, girl. These people are here about you." She says this as if it repulses her. My eyebrows shoot up in disbelief. The man speaks up, "We haven't met, Sadie, but you seem to be quite the friend to our daughter. We are here to see if Ms. Kollins will let us take you with us to Liverpool during break. Prudence wants you to be there when we move." Oh, they're Prudence's parents. I can see that now. The black hair, the high cheekbones, it all screams Prudence. "Would you like to come with us?" he asks. I nod with real entusiasm this time. "More than anything." The man turns to Ms. Kollins, "Then it would appear that we will be taking Sadie off of your hands for a week. Thank you for your time, ma'am."
Prudence's parents stand up, nod at that awful woman, and smile at me before leaving. My heart's racing in excitement. I'm really going to get back to Liverpool! To John! For a whole week! I forget about my hunger momentarily, too happy to notice it. When I see the deadly expression on Ms. Kollins' face, though, I'm smart enough to hightail it out of her room. I sneak out to my garden, in search of a quiet place. With a smile, I flop onto my bench. I hear something in my pocket crinkle. Curious, I pull it out. It's John's song. My smile only grows larger.
So it wasn't the best, don't worry, i know. Anyway, it might be a week or two before I get the next one up but I promise it's gonna have John in it(hehe i'm happy, i miss him) so they will be better. Thanks again to the people who reviewed. At least ik a few people out there understand that the little blue button underneath this message no one cares about is your best friend...(HINT,HINT);)
