Authors notes- I don't own the TMNT, just my characters, Yoshi and Karma.
Me? Leave you in suspense? Never!
Something to bare in mind, when I mention Stockman, this isn't robo-Stockman, this is Shredder's puppet, who's been tortured over and over. He's just not that headstrong and arrogant in this Universe, he's just looking to be protected by somebody. His past is very different to the one where Karm comes from, but you'll find that out.
Oh and the flashbacks are set when the boys are around 18, and Karm is 17. Leo's just become Jonin, which is if I remember correctly, head of the clan.
Gah, enough rambling from me, enjoy!
Raph's POV.
Blood is thicker than water.
Impatiently, I pace the room. My eyes drift to the TV, then the punching bag as I give it a quick punch as I walk past. I find my mind racing, my body unable to keep up the pace.
'Karm's been ages, where is she?… What if Leo got her…? Nah, she said she'd lemme help. She'll be back. It's jus' drivin' me crazy waitin'…'
KNOCK KNOCK.
The sudden loud, noise makes me jump, but as I realise it must be Karm, I wrench the door open.
"Raphael."
My eyes narrow instinctively and I tighten my jaw.
"What do you want this time, Leo?"
His eyes drift to the floor and his shoulders droop. I find myself biting down on my lip, waiting for him to answer.
"I… I need help."
"What?!" I snort and raise an eyeridge. "Yer jokin' right?!"
"Please Raph-"
"Forget it! Ya expect me ta come crawlin' back, jus' like that huh? Whatcha gunna do, blackmail me if I don't?!" I snarl.
"So you're just gunna turn your back on me?"
"That's what you did when I needed help. I had no where ta live, no food, no water, but ya threw me out. If it wasn't fer Don, I'd be dead!"
'…An' trust me, I'd rather be sometimes…'
-Flashback-
"You're reckless Raphael. You just do whatever the hell you want, and you don't care what it does to anybody else. You're a pathetic, selfish bastard." Leo's eyes flash with anger as he squares up to me.
"I'm sorry." I find myself struggling to think of what to say.
"You're never sorry, so don't waste your breath."
Spinning on his heels, Leo walks out on me.
"Wait. Leo…"
'…I …I screwed up…' I close my eyes. 'No… I can't… There's gotta be a way to fix this! Everybody's hurtin', Karm's hurtin'… an' I hate seein' her hurt. She jus' cried an' cried an' I panicked, so I hugged her an' she said she felt better… As I put her ta bed, I jus', I wished so bad she was mine. Then she kissed my cheek, she had ta fuckin' kiss me, didn't she? I lost control… Leo's right, I am selfish.' I rub my face with my hands. 'So… I'm gunna try an' do somethin' unselfish…'
-Flashback-
"Raph, listen to me." Leo grabbing my shoulders jolts me back into reality.
"Why should I?" Roughly, I shake him off.
"Because… because if you cared for Mike, Don and Karm, you would… they're in trouble."
"Trouble?"
He dips his head and whispers, "Karai has them."
"What?!" I roar. "That bitch! How?!"
"I don't know. Yoshi's disappeared too."
"Does she have him?"
"No, he was with me, then disappeared when Karai phoned me from Karm's phone." His voice softens. "I'm at your mercy Raph, I have no one to turn to, except the brother I carelessly turned my back on. I understand if you do the same, I know I deserve it… shell, I don't even know why I came to ask, I-"
"No, listen ta me Leo." He raises his head. "We're gunna go get 'em back, if it's the last thing I do."
I see the relief flood over him.
"Thank you."
"Now, c'mon, let's go save our family." A grin slowly and slightly creeps over my features.
"…Aren't …you forgetting something?" The blue banded turtle says hesitantly.
This time I dip my head.
"I vowed never ta use 'em again…"
"Desperate times call for desperate measures."
With a sigh, and a nod, I walk over to my bed. Feeling underneath it, I pull out the smooth box that bumps into my fingers. I sit on the bed, and with a deep breath, I open it.
-Flashback-
"Uh…" I roll onto my back and open my eyes, only to find my eyesight badly blurred. "Where… where am I?"
The dimly lit room, along with my blurred eyesight, make it hard for me to make out where I am. Clumsily, I lift my heavy body from the floor and manage to stand. I let my eyes wander around the room, trying to focus them, when I realise my forearm is wet and warm. With bleary eyes, I look down, finding a gash leaking with crimson.
'Got yerself in another hot-headed fight Raphael, nice one.'
Shrugging off the cut, I quickly examine the rest of me, finding no other injuries, but a lot of blood splashed down my plastron. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to push away the queasiness in my stomach.
As I open them, they refocus properly, and I find a huddled, unrecognisable form before me. Tentatively, I step forward, and crouch next to the figure. As I roll it over, my stomach lurches. I stand up quickly, staggering to the side and find a beam to support myself with. I stand and retch painfully as the blood flashes in my mind again, the metallic smell filling the air, reinforcing the memory.
"Raphael."
I spin around, eyes wide.
"Shredder…?"
"What have you done?!" With his gauntlet, he points towards the body separating us.
"I d-didn't! I don't remember!"
"You don't remember? You don't remember, this?!" With a kick, Shredder turns the body to face me and I feel my stomach churn.
"No! I'd never kill him!"
"Not even for her…?"
My head throbs, the smell of the blood making me dizzy, and I clutch at the beam next to me to support myself.
"No… I… I couldn't…"
"Couldn't you? Not even to stop her crying… sobbing… wishing she wasn't alive? Say, why not put her out of her misery? That's what you did to Stockman!"
I turn my shell to him, finally recognising the room as Shredder's chambers, and head for the rooftop garden. I hear his heavy footsteps shadow me, calmly and slowly. As I run past the pond, I catch a glimmer of myself, my skin more crimson than jade, and keep running. Skidding to a halt, I realise I have no where to run, my rationality rushing back to me.
'Shit, shit, shit!'
"Raphael." As I turn, the wind picks up viciously, sweeping my mask tails behind me. "You almost forgot these."
Shredder strides towards me, dangling my dripping red sai in his hands.
"I don't want them!" I clench my fists.
"Oh? Why ever not? They're your trophies, I mean, you did kill with them-"
"No!" I gasp. "I never… I wouldn't…"
"Wouldn't you?" Shredder squares up to me, his voice quiet.
The wind crashes around us, the cool air biting at my skin and sweeping away the metallic scent clinging to me.
'It's a dream… I'm dreaming… I'm gunna wake up… Raphael, c'mon, wake up!'
"Go home." The Foot leader grabs my shoulders and throws me to the side. "And don't forget these." Then throws my sai down beside me.
With fearful eyes, I look up to the man in the vicious metal armour, towering above me. The red eyes bore down onto me and his gauntlet glints in the moonlight. I scramble to my feet, grabbing my sai and rush through the doors, encountering Foot ninja on the way. They side-step me, sneering as I run past and I can't help but wonder, 'why did he keep me alive?'
-Flashback-
The sai in the box shine dully in the dim light and I hesitantly reach out for the cool metal.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?"
I nod.
"Not since that night…"
I hear Leo breathe in heavily.
"I'm glad, you know."
"Glad of what?"
"That… that he let you go alive."
"Hm." My fingers travel down to the red-banded handles. "Let me go alive so I could live in agony… that's how Shredder worked."
"But he's gone now."
"An' that bitch Karai is in his place." My words come out as a snarl.
"Then we better go stop whatever she's planning… but, we've gotta work as a team."
"You? Me? Team? Yer jokin' right?" I joke even though I feel the familiar lead weight in my heart.
"There's no I in team."
"There's an m and an e though, bro'."
I cringe a little at my choice of words, and as I go to apologise, Leo holds up a hand.
"Don't. I am your brother… if you still want me to be."
"Ya never stopped bein' my bro'… ya jus' stopped bein' the nice guy."
"I guess I was sick of it." He shrugs.
"Stick with nice guy." I shove my sai into my belt. "Yer not so good at the tough guy bit."
"Just because you're a hothead."
We exchange brief smiles.
"C'mon, we gotta go kick some shell." I heave myself up and pat his shell. "An' leave the hothead stuff ta me."
"Gladly."
-Flashback-
"Raph?! What happened?!" Karm rushes over to me as I enter the Lair.
"I'm fine." I brush her off, feeling a little groggy.
"Raph!" Don jumps up from the sofa, "You're not fine! My lab, now!"
Feeling to weak to object, I let my brother and sister guide me into the familiarity of Don's lab where I sit in a haze, my mind replaying over and over the scene after I woke up.
"Have you… have you been drinking, big bro'?" Karm's face scrunches up.
"No… Well, I don't think I have… I thought ya were in bed."
"Insomniac." She shrugs and smiles, "Hence me and Don up tidying the mess you made."
"Me?" I laugh gruffly.
"Yeah, you." She grins.
"Raph, all this blood isn't yours." Don examines my cheek.
"The bastards ain't screwed up my good looks have they?"
"Raph." Stepping back, my smart brother gives me a look normally seen on Leo's face.
"No it ain't."
"Then, who's?"
I meet my little sister's gaze and my heart tears into pieces.
'This is why ya kept me alive Shredder… so I had ta face this.'
"I dunno." I drop my eyes to the floor.
"When you're done, can I have a moment alone?" Leo's voice breaks the silence.
"Uh, sure, I'm done now in fact. Come on Karm, the floor's still a mess."
Nodding, she bounds off after our purple banded brother and shuts the door behind her.
"Look-"
"No, you look. I want the truth." His voice is stern, "Who's blood is it Raph?"
I consider lying. Blatantly. A little white lie. A whole surreal situation. They all cross my mind, but I know there's no lying to Leo.
"It's… Stockman's."
He crumples onto Don's stool.
"Stockman…? That's too much blood for just a fight."
"I know." I keep my eyes fixed to the ground.
"Raph, did you… did you kill him?"
I put my hands up to my face and nod, hearing Leo breathe in sharply.
"I didn't know what I was doin', I-"
"I'm not hearing it." He stands. "You're a danger to this family, I suggest you leave."
"…What?"
'He's not serious…'
"Leave Raph, now. I'm Jonin, what I say goes, Sensei has no say and he will respect my decision." He turns his shell on me.
"Where am I s'posed ta go?"
"You should have thought of that when you killed."
And with that, my oldest brother walks out on me, with not even a glance behind.
-Flashback-
