Chapter 9. "We talk now."
"Ninianne, my prince. My full name is Ninianne."
The rest of the night was less eventful. We had a dinner, chatted friendly and nobody asked a question why I pretended to be a boy. Nobody even mentioned it. Well, I don't mind. And they cook well here in Camelot. I may even consider staying here… for some time.
Dinner was over and men went to discuss some important business, something of Camelot's security as I got it.
No, I didn't overhear them, they just talk loud enough for me to hear, so what?.. Gawaine, though was rather quiet tonight and he didn't make an impression of a quiet man. Something is wrong…
And I was right when suspected that Gawaine has something on his mind.
I told Gwen that I still feel tired and need a proper rest and tomorrow I'll tell her how I end up in the tavern dressed up as a boy (this woman is curious, she won't get off me). When I left the hall one of the knights, sir Lancelot, glanced at me. Oh, I didn't like the glance; I'd better lock the room tonight. He might think that I'm dangerous. Or maybe he's just jealous, I saw him looking at Merlin, who was extremely cheerful tonight and chatted with me a lot.
Oh, Merlin! Thank you Goddess, that you let me meet him on my way. Somehow I feel that we have a lot in common and I can always have his support. I hope I could do the same.
So, when I left the hall I found myself in one of those long and dark corridors of Camelot. All alone. I should've asked someone to walk me to my room.
I tried to remember the way back. When I turned around the corner I almost bumped into him. I felt that was coming. Gawaine frowned at me and folded his arms. I tried to smile but he looked so serous that my smile died in the very beginning.
"Do you want to tell me anything?"
Ho, my… I'm not prepared for this kind of talk… dear, Gawaine, please… right! I need to seem niceand sweet, may be he'll give up?
I put on the sweetest face I could and tried to pass by Gwaine's large frame.
"It's so late, can we talk tomorrow?.."
As I was right next to him, he grabbed my shoulder and pressed me to the wall. He was strong, that Knight. And he was mad at me. Oh, I'd bet you were never squished between the cold stony wall and a hot muscular man. What an Experience!
"We talk now."
Oh….
I swallowed nervously. He's mad at me for my outrageous lie. He trusted Nin, a boy who saved his life, and now he gets Ninianne, unknown girl who told him lies.
I feel guilty. Why the hell, does that man makes me feel guilty?
"I… Gawaine, I'm sorry."
"for what?"
"For not telling you the truth, but…please understand. This was important. This IS important for me and my survival. "
I was till pressed to the wall and felt the heat from his body. He was probably too close but I didn't feel like keeping a distance from him…
Hey, Nin, don't tell me you like being this way?.. his face so close…his eyes, oh, those eyes…they seem dark when he's mad… but still he looks so…handsome. Stop it! Stop looking at me this close!
"Pretending to be someone else and sneaking into my home was so important for your survival?"
I felt the adrenalin (oh, I hope that was adrenalin) rushing through my body. My cheeks flushed and my heart was racing. He had a right to be mad at me but he had to give me a chance to explain. And then I did it.
I stepped forward. This small step made me even closer to him; it seemed as if he didn't expect it but he stood still. He stood still with his hands at my sides pressing the wall so I was in a circle of his arms and so close that I almost touched his ear. I whispered.
"You want to talk. Then let me tell you the truth."
I feel so brave…but my knees are weak… and it's getting hotter here…
"I need air," I whispered desperately and dived under his left arm and almost ran towards the end of corridor.
"Exit is the other way." I heard him saying and going away.
I followed Gawaine, a stranger who influenced me more than any other man I've met before. He made me feel guilt. I've never felt this way because of my deceit. I knew it was necessary. But here, in Camelot, the place where magic is forbidden and no magical creatures threaten me, here I can stop hiding.
We entered the same terrace he met me earlier. I inhaled and started my story. Nobody else before and after Gawaine has heard the full truth, well maybe except Merlin, but that's Merlin.
The day I was born a great storm covered Avalon. My Godmother later said that was a sign. The sign that everybody ignored than but remembered later. I was a happy child, I was loved. And luckily I wasn't spoiled. I learned healing and herbs from my mother and ancient magic from my father. Avalon was a perfect place for a young witch to live until I turned fifteen. That's when it all begun. I was one of the best but every day the spells I performed turned out to hurt rather than help. I still knew how to use herbs to heal different creatures. Unfortunately the spells and curses I casted caused too much trouble. On my sixteenth birthday a storm happened again. And that's in Avalon, where the weather is always calm! This time a caused the storm, well, it was an accident. I lost control and destroyed an ancient temple. Thanks, Goddess, nobody died! But I was supposed to be punished. My parents, they begged not to imprison me. And Vivianne, the Priestess, agreed to change the punishment. They should've deprived me from my power. They had to take it from me. So I could stay on the Avalon but as a human, without power, without protection. And my friends they looked at me with fear and scorn. Yeas, I messed up. But I had a choice. And I escaped. I'm forbidden to Avalon for the rest of my days. They were searching for me, because Vivianne believed I was dangerous for everyone and for myself. But I can control myself as long as I don't use my magical power. They can still search for me to get rid of the danger, but here in Camelot there's no magic that can expose me unless I do it myself. And I have no intention to do so, because I'm tired, Gawain. I'm tired of hiding and moving all the time. Besides… there are people who I don't want to put in danger, so I have no intentions …
Then my voice died. I have never told anyone the whole story how I end up here. It was hard. It was private. I still felt bad because of what I did.
"What did you do here all those years? How many years by the way?"
"I left Avalon three years ago. I was travelling. I saw shores of Ireland and Scottish Highlands. I healed people, that what I can do well. No active magic, just herbs and charms and potions."
"And you dress up as a boy, so.."
"It's easier to travel this way. When you're young and female you have certain problems with moving around."
"Why did you agree to come here? You know the Camelot is a bad place for witches and wizards. Especially after what Morgana and Morgausa did to the King and the Kingdom." Gawaine turned his face to me and watched attentively.
"Right, Morgausa, she'd always been troublesome…"
"You know her?" the Knight grabbed my shoulders again. I looked him in the eyes. I felt exhausted. I never thought that it might take so much of my emotions to remember it all. I felt like a rag doll in Gawaine's hands. He noticed that. He relaxed his hands and stopped frowning.
"I can assure you that I have nothing to do with Morgausa. She was banished from Avalon long before I went troublesome, and I haven't seen her since."
"If anyone here learns that you are a witch, no matter practicing or not, you will burn. Noone will be able to help you, not even me. Don't put yourself in danger."
"So you won't tell?.."
Gawaine stroke my arms gently, he was standing close again.
"You saved my life, even several times. That were you in the woods, I remembered when saw you in the proper lighting."
I smiled weakly. "besides, I can't let Arthur burn someone as charming as you."
I blushed, my head was spinning and sir Gawaine told I'm charming…
Are you flirting with me, dear Gawaine?.. after all I told you 'bout myself?..
"I'll show you to your room, so you don't get lost again." Gawaine took my hand and led me. Perhaps he's like this with every woman? He's totally a ladies' man. but I confessed him in being a witch. Why am I so reckless?
"Well, sweet dreams, lady Ninianne." Said Gawain and gently kissed my hand.
"Good night, sir Gawaine."
AN: sooo, this is the largest chapter so far… I feel exhausted but happy. Forgive me for spelling mistakes, my eyes are tired and don't want to see properly
I hope you like this chapter; we finally have a secret of Nin's masquerade revealed. And a little spoiler, next chapter: Gawaine's opinion on the problem.
Thank you all for reviews and kind words!
