#9 No Turning Back
A/N: Back to Bec's POV.
Something was buzzing in my pocket. I sighed and fiddled with the zipper. After hours of intense training with Griffin, I really just wanted something to get my mind off the aches that seemed to reach my very bones. I pulled out my phone and tilted my head to the side, surprised that I was actually getting reception here. Frowning, I flipped it open and pressed it to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Bec." It was Jules. He sounded sort of desperate, but there was a hardness in his voice that I didn't recognize. "Where are you? We can't find you…and something terrible has happened. Bec, we linked your phone up to a super-fast network so we can contact you. We need to pull some strings, but…where has he taken you? I'll slit the bastard's throat."
I heard the venom in his voice and I realized that the time had come to make my decision. Would I really stay with Griffin and protect him from Paladins, or did I want to go back to my own life and hope I could live normally? Like that could ever happen. I closed my eyes and pressed the phone closer to my ear.
"Bec." Jules's voice had gone completely flat. "Your dad is dead."
I almost dropped the phone. My eyes flicked open immediately and I couldn't quite restrain a gasp of horror. Of course, he had lived a long life for a Paladin…but I never expected he could have been killed so quickly. I knew it must have been a Jumper. No one else would have killed a major Paladin…and despite my allegiance, I felt vengeance in my heart towards the one who had done this. Didn't the Jumpers and Paladins know what this war was costing? Lives and families and heartbreak.
"But who…?"
"A Jumper named Lance Dyson." Jules sounded grim. "We can't find you anywhere. Do you know where you are or where he Jumped last?"
I knew the 'he' Jules was referring to was Griffin. I realized I had to confess the truth – well, maybe not about my allegiances, not just yet…but about what I was. The Paladins didn't know why they couldn't find me and Jules was clearly blaming himself. I wouldn't have him beating himself up over something that wasn't his fault.
"I'm a Shade, Jules. You can't find because my ability conceals them. As long as Griffin's around me, he can't be found…and neither can I."
Jules swore, sounding extremely annoyed. I began to wonder whether this was really about him saving me, or because he'd developed a grudge against Griffin. Normally I would have been irritated…but the news of Dad's death ensured that I felt nothing. I was numb inside, and I didn't think I'd ever feel emotion again. I should have been bawling my eyes. Instead I just stood there feeling frozen.
There was a tense silence and when Jules spoke, his tone sent chills down my spine.
"Is he there now?"
I heard something smash, followed by an angry, "Shit!"
I gnawed at my lip. "Yes."
I was worried that Jules might want to talk to Griffin…although that would solve nothing. But what Jules said next was even than anything I could have imagined.
"Open his last Jump Scar, Bec. We can come through and get you then. Hadn't you thought of that before? You do know a Shade's full capabilities, don't you?"
Fuck. I had no doubts that once the Paladins had saved me, Jules would kill Griffin. I had chosen my side and now I had to stick to my decision. Taking a deep breath, I summoned on all of my courage. Dad would have been brave when he died. It was up to me to be brave now, to show courage even when I wanted to run and hide.
"That's the thing, Jules. The situation's changed."
Jules's voice was sharp. "What do you mean?"
Then all the procrastination was too much for me and I felt like I just wanted to scream at my own slowness. So I just told the truth.
"I'm not a prisoner anymore. I'm here with Griffin of my own free will."
"What?" Jules sounded shocked. "Bec, what are you talking about?"
My heart pattered with fear, but my voice sounded strong.
"I'm one of them, Jules. I'm helping Griffin hide from you. I've seen what you can all do, and I've chosen my side. You kill the families of innocent people just because they have an ability you despise…and that's not a life I want."
Jules laughed, but it was dark and mirthless and I felt my stomach plummet. I'd heard that laugh so many times before. It was when Jules was beyond mad, when he was just about to do something really crazy.
"You can't imagine what we had planned for you, Bec. You are your father's daughters. You could have the Paladins at your fingertips. I could have made a life for you…for us."
Was he really suggesting what I thought he was?
"We could have done this together, Bec. I would have made you mine…but I guess you didn't want that, huh."
Now I was confused. Did this mean Jules and I had been betrothed the whole time? I didn't like to think ill of my dad, especially after only just learning that he was dead…but seriously, Jules? I couldn't think of anyone I'd hate to be with more.
"You're right." My voice was like saccharine. "I never would have wanted you, Jules. You never know, maybe I can function without a man in my life."
Jules snarled; "Or maybe it's Griffin O'Connor that you want."
I could feel my cheeks flushing and I struggled to discover the answer – was Jules right or wrong? Even I didn't know and this confused me even more. Surely I couldn't be falling for Griffin, the young man who'd kidnapped me and treated me like shit most of the time I'd been here?
"Now you're just being ridiculous…"
"You're dead, Bec." Jules's voice was eerily calm and it made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. "I won't kill you out of spite, but…know this: if you get in the way when we try and kill Griffin, I won't hesitate to put a knife through your heart."
"That's nice of you," I muttered. I didn't think I wanted to find out if Jules really was capable of killing me or not. The answer may not be one I liked.
Then I flipped my phone closed, cutting off the call. I bit my lip so hard I could taste blood as I pressed the phone to my forehead, thinking hard. I didn't want to tell Griffin about what had happened. Maybe it was my burden to keep all of this crap bottled up inside of me. Then I realized what was happening all around me – Jules was against me, Dad was dead…
Then I realized I could cry fairly well after all.
PARAGRAPH
I knew the second Lance Jumped back that something was wrong. I leapt to my feet and I could feel the rage burning within me as I threw my fist forward and punched Lance in the face. He staggered backwards and his eyes were full of surprise. Maybe I hit harder than I'd expected – but I no longer cared. No matter how hard I punched Lance, no matter how many times, he would eventually recover. There was no bringing my dad back.
After about the third punch, a pair of hands gripped me firmly by the arms and dragged me backwards. I fought against it, knowing it was Griffin. I squirmed violently like a wild animal, lunging at Lance.
"What the fuck is going on?" demanded Griffin.
I burst into tears and Griffin, clearly surprised, released me immediately. I saw the astonished look on his face and wondered about whether he'd ever seen me cry before. I didn't tend to do it much. My silent tears escalated into frustrated sobs. Griffin was watching me with an expression of horror.
Lance wiped the blood from his nose and stared at me, a guilty look on his face. Clearly, murdering my father had not been intention and he looked like he regretted what he'd done.
"I killed her father."
I just stood there, sobbing, feeling helpless. Griffin was torn between feelings – he had hated my dad and he wasn't going to fake sympathy for the man's death. I think it was the fact that I was so devastated that made him so conflicted. Then, to my utter surprise, he stepped forward and embraced me, awkwardly patting me on the back.
"Bec."
It was like he didn't know what to say. Then he glanced across at Lance as I was wiping my eyes.
"I know why you did it. Lance…what the bloody hell happened?"
Lance's expression was grim. "I went after them – I wanted vengeance, Griffin! You of all people can understand that! I wasn't aiming in particular for him…they killed a Jumper, about your age. I attacked them and killed a few…and one of them just happened to be Aaron."
Griffin's eyes narrowed. "How many?"
Lance shrugged, not meeting Griffin's sharp gaze. "Seven."
"Seven!" Griffin sounded shocked and I couldn't blame him. Lance against seven Paladins? How was he even alive? "How the fuck did you get out alive?"
Lance shrugged again, looking down at his feet.
"I fought back."
Somehow, I was under the impression that he wasn't being entirely honest with us. Don't get me wrong, I'd always picked Lance out to be a nice guy…but he was lying to us, and that on top of the fact that he'd just killed my dad meant I didn't really trust him at that moment.
"We need to fight them, Griffin." Lance sounded almost pleading. "We can kill more of them…together. For Alice."
Griffin had let go of me and stepped forward. It felt strange, him having just hugged me. Of course he'd let me go pretty quick, as if he was ashamed of showing emotion. He was torn between his desire for revenge, and his sensibility. I had a pretty good idea I knew which would prevail and I sighed heavily.
"Bec, open the Jump Scar."
I rolled my eyes. "Bec, do this. Bec, do that. When am I ever going to get some bloody manners from you?"
Griffin looked pained. "Okay, Bec, please open the Jump Scar." It looked like he'd nearly choked on the word 'please', but to his credit, he'd still used it.
I stood there and folded my arms across my chest, glaring at Griffin.
"If you're going, I'm coming with you."
Griffin's eyes narrowed. "Are you out of your mind? No."
"Then I won't do it. I can fight, Griffin. You've trained me."
Griffin shook his head fervently and there was something a bit like panic in his eyes now. Not for him – for me. I was confused. Since when had Griffin actually cared what happened to me? This was new.
"Not for something like this. Three days, Bec. That's not enough. You'd never make it."
I jabbed an accusing finger at Lance. "He killed my father! Jules is against me now because I'm siding with you. Don't you think the least you could do is let me have a go?"
Griffin gave me a death glare before he nodded curtly. Clearly, he wasn't happy about the situation. I focused on the Jump Scar, really looked for it…then I saw it and forced it open. It wasn't an easy task and my head hurt when we stepped through – right into Paladin headquarters.
Lance still stood at the other side of the Jump Scar, in Griffin's lair. I turned to look at him incredulously, my eyes as wide as saucers as the Paladins closed in around me, edging towards the Jump Scar.
"What have you done?"
"They knew where my sister was!" exclaimed Lance, sounding distressed, "My Jumper sister! They promised they'd let her go for now if I led Griffin to them."
"How could you?" I whispered, and Lance winced as if I'd slapped him.
Griffin's teeth were bared in savage rage as he shoved Lance roughly away from him, marching towards the Jump Scar. I remembered what Jules had told me – he would only kill me if I interfered in them dealing with Griffin. I was fully aware of the consequences as I whipped around and closed my eyes, knowing I would die for what I did.
I forced myself not to cry as I closed the Jump Scar before Griffin could move through.
