"Every little memory resting calm in me
Resting in a dream
Smiling back at me
The faces of the past keep calling me to come back home
To caress the river with awe
Within there`s every little memory resting calm with me
Resting in a dream
Smiling back at me
The faces of the past keep calling me to come back home
Rest calm and remember me." –Nightwish, Rest Calm
Ann's words to her played themselves over in Gem's mind in an endless cycle. Make the right choice, she had said. What was the right choice? To just let Tom die? To let help her find the truth behind Thomas' resentment towards her over the years? To let her unveil the truth behind what'd happened to Thomas in the cabin? A part of her was desperate to know why he'd pushed her away, yet another part of her was afraid of what she would find.
The truth will hurt you or save you, Gem thought to herself. The question is, are you willing to seek out the truth? She wanted to believe that Tom still cared, but he hadn't cared enough to help her when she needed him the most. Keeping Arabesque isn't enough to convince me he still cares. She wiped at a stray tear that had leaked from her eye. Tom wasn't going to live forever; the doctors were waiting for her to give her consent to their DNR order, but she already knew her answer. Gem drew Ann's card from her pocket; her cell phone number stared back at her, daring her to call her. Ann was her only chance of getting the answers she needed. A part of her was terrified of what she would find, and this wasn't something she could do alone. And she didn't want to.
She quickly dialed Ann's number, and waited. Ann would have to help her – not only because she would get the exclusive details of Tom's life that was kept hidden from the town (Oh, wouldn't you like to know? she thought sourly), but because she was desperate. Her heart hammered in her chest, and a wave of relief and gratitude swept over her when she heard Ann's voice on the other line.
"Ann?" she said. "It's Gem."
I sit by my father's body, clutching my legs and rocking back and forth. The tears have ceased, but the horror is still fresh. I know I can't stay; my memories are fading, and Mr. White is after me. He is my adversary in all of this; never was he my friend and ally. I don't know what he wants with me. All I know is that he will be smiling like a clown until this show has come to an end. And perhaps after it is over as well, a small voice in the back of my mind whispers. A part of me wants to surrender and simply die, but another part of me wants to fight until my last breath. It doesn't matter what I do, in the end. I am dead.
I have to find the truth that is embedded within my memories. I don't want to die without knowing the truth. I can't. As I sit by my father's body, I know this. I can't deny it anymore. The faces of my past keep calling me to come back home, and they are slipping away with every minute that passes. I look up. The door is slightly ajar, a white light shining through beckoning me through the darkness. I rise slowly. This is not part of my memory. Or is it? I make my way towards it. This can't be my final memory, and I can't stay here. I open the door, and the light engulfs me. I expect this world to dissolve into nothingness, but instead, I am embraced by the wind and the smell of grass. It is only now that it dawns upon me. My memories are scrambled, and I am running from memory to memory blindly. For a moment, I think I can hear Mr. White's cruel taunts once again.
"Tom, stop worrying," Barbara says warmly yet playfully at the same time. "Just be with me." She smiles at me excitedly, and she kisses me. I kiss her back, but for whatever reason, I feel as if I am missing something important. Or someone. I can't remember her name, but I can still picture her face clearly. Dark auburn hair, irises the color of ice, and a voice both soft and melodic. I remember her face, and I remember how much I love her. What I feel for this woman is not the romantic love I feel for my Barbara. I pull away from Barbara suddenly, and I realize that I don't want to be here. I need to remember the strange woman from my past. I'm losing her. I can't be losing my memories of her! I shake my head furiously. I need to remember.
"Tom! Tom, are you okay?" Barbara is reaching out to me, but I step away from her, out of her reach. "Tom, what the hell is going on?"
I need to remember. I push past her, trying to calm myself. I can't be losing my memories. I can't lose her. Why is it that I can still remember Barbara, but not…? Barbara's voice is becoming quieter and quieter, almost fading. I turn around, and the grass meadows are dying away into nothingness. The sky is black, and Mr. White's voice pierces the air. My blood turns to ice in my veins. I need to leave. Now.
"I'm a part of you, Tommy boy!" he croons. "You and I are one and the same, you know." His ensuing laughter sounds like a rabid pack of wolves. "You were but a fool to trust me, and I will make sure you die to regret it!" I am rooted to the spot, until a young girl runs past me. Something about her is eerily familiar. Her hair is ginger, and her eyes are azure as ice. I shake myself out of my trance and pursue her.
"WAIT! STOP!" I scream. "PLEASE! WHO ARE YOU?"
The girl doesn't look back once at me. "Leave me alone! I hate you!" Her words cut me like blades, and tears spring unbidden to my eyes, but I don't stop my pursuit of her. "I HATE YOU!" I don't know how long I run after her into the oblivion, or what it is about her that is hauntingly familiar to me. I shout for her, begging for answers, but she refuses to answer. I don't even realize my vision is blurred by tears until I finally stumble and fall onto my hands and knees. I look up, and the small girl has aged into a young woman. She offers me one last sad glance and her lips form two words that shatter my heart.
"Remember me."
