Christmas! In the story, at least. Longer chapter. Some wizard theory. I chickened out of writing a proper conversation for the family dinner.


There was nothing Artemis could do with the information, yet. Blackmail was distasteful, and he doubted the professor had anything of value anyway. He noticed that he was giving Potter extra lessons, no doubt to keep the dementors from affecting him so badly. That boy was always pandered to. Naturally, no one had noticed others with bad experiences, like Susan Bones or Artemis himself. He supposed he'd have to do some research himself.

Nothing much interesting happened for the next couple of months, other than Lupin's "mysterious" disappearances during the full moon. Artemis preferred it that way. It meant no one would suspect him of everything. Artemis checked the library, and learned the most effective method of fighting dementors was the Patronus Charm, a spell that created an incorporeal guardian that resembled a misty animal. Artemis tried it in the Room of Requirement, as the house elves called it, but he failed to get more than a silvery wisp. He had trouble with getting a good memory to use. Most of his were tinged with guilt. He left the book he'd used in Susan's bag, hoping she'd get better rewards.

As the weather cooled, so did tempers. Draco became less likely to make an utter fool of himself, and the Gryffindors and Slytherins rarely fought. Potter seemed to be in a constant mope following the loss of his beloved broom, and the constant cloud of despair even started to repel Weasley and Granger. He only seemed to improve at news of Hufflepuff's depressing loss, which raised Gryffindor's chances slightly. Why didn't the boy realise his parents were rich enough he could buy more or less anything he wanted?

That was when Artemis began to create a network throughout the school. Using his bugs, he knew all the gossip circulating Hogwarts. He began with the older students in relationships- those cheating or being cheated. With these, he traded secrets and discretion for information and resources. Some gave political knowledge or spellbooks. Others offered favours and money. From others, all he demanded was that they spread the word. Discreetly, of course. Mulch had gone back to Haven, and promised the first shipments within weeks. Artemis hoped that eventually, he'd be the consultant for just about the entire school. That would eventually turn into connections and power once they were adults. Of course, it was hard when he was only a third year student. Most didn't take him seriously.

Artemis was also beginning plans to become an animagus. First, he had to concoct and take a number of potions, all with rare and volatile ingredients like the yolk of a dragon egg or a vampire's tooth. By his estimate, if he was lucky, it would take until the easter holidays to even hope for having them all, even with some alterations. This was enormously frustrating, but necessary.

One afternoon, in late November, Artemis ran into Lupin. Literally. The man dropped his books and Artemis muttered an apology before trying to walk off. Then the professor grabbed his shoulder.

"Artemis. I've been meaning to talk to you."

Artemis turned to the professor, holding eye contact. Most people found his eyes disconcerting, and found themselves misspeaking in his presence. Perhaps the man would go away. "Yes?"

"Well, my boy, I was wondering if you need someone to talk to. I remember the boggart, and on top of that the dementors. During the quidditch match, you sat with the Hufflepuffs. And you were helping those affected by the dementors. Not average Slytherin behavior, hmm?"

Artemis widened his eyes blandly, hiding his sudden panic. The professor knew far too much. He was more observant than Artemis had anticipated. "But of course, sir. To give a favour to one is to be offered a favour in return."

The professor raised an eyebrow. "Most Slytherins don't see it that way."

Artemis smiled thinly. "My housemates have lost sight of their values. Sometimes you need an outsider to see the truth. Power comes in many forms."

"Well said, Artemis. But it's how you use that power that truly counts."

"Yes. " He smiled. "But the greatest power is in the truth, professor. In the secrets. In what comes out by the light of the moon."

The professor blanched. Artemis continued. "But power also lies in restraint. Remember, some truths were never meant to be revealed. Some things should remain in the shadows."

With that, Artemis turned and left. The professor might be suspicious of him, but he was quite certain that the man wouldn't dig into his secrets unless he was pressed.

Soon it was the Christmas Holidays. Artemis was happy to go home. Though he was loathe to admit it, he missed his family and Butler. He also liked the security of working at home.

Several Hogwarts friends sent him gifts. Luna sent him a subscription to the Quibbler and the last years back copies, which, if not entirely accurate, we're highly entertaining. Justin mailed him a copy of Quidditch Through The Ages. The other Hufflepuffs gave him a box of chocolate. Theodore and Blaise sent him some dark grimoires that had been lingering in the corners of their homes. They had numerous explanations on the making of poisons and the taming of basilisks and such. Neville sent him a book on wizard horticulture.

His parents were very glad to have him home. They had a number of questions for him at dinner, but he had prepared answers.

"Arty, dear," asked his mother, "How is your new school… I never caught the name?"

"The Whetherby Institute Academy for Young Gentlemen. It's quite good. Not completely up to my standards, but nonetheless better than the others I've gone to."

"Why don't they send us your grades, or newsletters?"

"Oh, yes, you have to set up a specific school email, and they'll send you notifications." He could set that up later and use it to his advantage.

"Is there a parent visiting day?" his mother asked excitedly.

"I'm afraid not." He did not elucidate, for thankfully that was the moment one of Myles experiments blew up, setting his makeshift lab on fire. Artemis had certainly not set it up to do so, in a cowardly yet successful attempt to avoid a long dinner with further grilling for answers. And most other dinners were certainly not going to be cut short as well simply because Artemis couldn't stand up to the loving-yet-utterly-terrifying stare of Angelina Fowl.

That year was the most… domestic Christmas Artemis had ever had. His parents showed his brothers more warmth than they had ever shown him, and he felt slightly left out. They tried to include him, but it was almost like he was looking at an entirely different family. It wasn't so bad. The twins, as annoying as they were, were starting to grow on him, and it was still nice to have just a little bit of normalcy for once. He especially enjoyed Myles, who reminded him a bit of himself at that age (although not nearly as intelligent, of course). Artemis was glad that his holidays went by without a single near-apocalyptic disaster. He could forget about Dark Lords and dementors and insane pixies for once.

He also had many useful chats with Foaly, Qwan, and N° 1. Apparently, magic was fed by the energy of the wizard. Wizards differed from the average muggle in that their brains could process energy and produce magic on its own. Muggles could be artificially given magic, which would force the brain to begin processing it, but one couldn't simply spell one, or there would be a lot more wizards. To do it, the Muggles core essence had to be altered to allow space for magic, which was what had happened in the time tunnel. Qwan's magic had started it, but it was actually Holly's eye which was magically conducive; his abilities on Hybras were only possible due to deteriorating physics, and on Earth, he needed the tissue of a magical being for it to work. This led to questions of whether one could produce more wizards by contaminating the donated blood in hospitals with wizard blood, but Artemis decided that this would probably lead only to mayhem and the death of the newly created wizards. Although it was still definitely an option…

Wands were also interesting. As it turned out, the average wizard could do some small magic without one, but wands acted as a conduit and focus point for magic. In truth, humans with magic were really the result of a peculiar mutation that occurred relatively recently in evolutionary history (perhaps a few thousand years ago), while fairies actually were supposed to have it, and had evolved it many millions ago. Demon warlocks had more powerful magic than wizards, and a body more conducive to it. What would fry a human alive was normal for the average demon. Their magic ranged freely through their bodies, and was incredibly sloppy and wasteful. They had to do a lot of meditation to handle it, and Artemis advised the demons to use wands, which actually was a sensible innovation.

That being said, wandless magic was a possibility. Humans had less magic, making it easier to control, so meditation, which Artemis was doing anyway in preparation for becoming an Animagus, and a lot of practice, should be sufficient.

There were also different types of magic. The two main types were magic of the individual and magic of the environment. Magic of the individual was what you did to someone (or something) specifically, to their body. The unforgivable curses were all of that variety, as were mesmer, transfiguration, and gift of tongues. Magic of the environment was what one did using the so-called elements or forces of nature. Levitation spells were generally altering the gravitational parameters in a given area, while divination altered the laws of time. Often, you could use either for the same effect. For instance, an illusion spell could be done either by bending the light or spelling someone's mind. The former would be visible to everyone, but the latter could be fine tuned to, say, someone's greatest fear. Both had their uses.

They would have continued to wordless magic and magical artifacts, but there's only so much one can do in a week.

He was almost disappointed to be coming back to school. But of course, once he did, the endless drama of they-who-are-attached-at-the-hip was there to entertain him. Apparently, over the holidays, the boy had received a very expensive broom as a gift. Hermione, being Hermione, had handed it in on the entirely reasonable assumption it was cursed (why else would someone give an already rich boy an expensive broom? It was amazing the boy hadn't been assassinated already, considering his rather gullible nature). So her two friends had amputated themselves, Harry because he was angry she'd taken his new broom and Ron because he lived vicariously through Harry. Of course, all the Gryffindors, short-sighted morons, sided with the boys, and Hermione was left alone in the library. A bit sad, really. But it was then that she confronted him.

She walked up to him while he was reading. "I still don't know how you cursed Harry and Ron," she said morosely.

He smiled thinly without looking up from his book. "You still don't know I did."

"What is with you?"

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Why do you care so much for them? They abandoned you when you were only trying to protect them. Maybe you should reconsider your choice of friends." He tapped his head. "It's all there. A little innovation can go a long way."

Hermione stood her ground. "Can you… can you help me? I feel like I've been slacking lately in my schoolwork. Come to a bit of an intellectual standstill. I need a study partner."

"Studying?" Artemis smirked. "I'd be delighted. My Friday afternoons are free."

The two of them slowly became closer friends. Artemis realised that he was partially a replacement for Harry and Ron, and she was partially doing this to satisfy her curiosity about him, but he was fine with that. She was really the only other student he could talk intellectually to, and her competition gave him reason to strengthen his spell work. The two of them started working more closely together, despite the dislike of their friendship by their respective houses. Draco was particularly verbose.

"Mudbloods band together, Fowl?"

Artemis rubbed his forehead. "People more intelligent than you band together, Draco. Granger is more intellectually advanced than the average witch or wizard, which I appreciate in an intellectual desert."

Malfoy looked confused, and wisely chose not to press the matter. Potter and Weasley, foolish Gryffindors that they were, chose differently.

"Hermione, you shouldn't go about with Fowl! He's a bad influence. Nasty little Death Eater!" Ron's attempt at whispering failed miserably in the library.

"Well you aren't being very chummy! Who else would I go with?" Potter and Weasley glared at Artemis for corrupting their (ex?) friend. He ignored them. Eventually, they-who-are-attached-at -the-hip became attached at the hip again, but Hermione, remained something close to a friend.

One day, as Artemis was walking back to Hogwarts for lunch after a horrible Care for Magical Creatures class. Those nasty little thieves were most definitely not LEPrecon. He'd definitely not seen them out and about in Ireland, and he was thankful for the fact. That was when he heard a voice, muttering to itself. An animal voice, a dog, in the bushes at the edge of the forest.

They're all wrong… suspecting me… Poor Harry… Haven't got a clue… Nasty little rat…

Artemis frowned. Dogs weren't that coherent. That voice had a human tinge to it, like their was a mind behind it. Which meant… He pulled out his wand and ran through immobilizing spells in his head. Out of the bushes came a large black dog, the so-called Grimm.

"Immobulus!" The dog was frozen in place for a few seconds, and then it flickered and snapped out of the spell. Slightly impervious to spells of the body. Hmm… partial transformation halts the affect. "Petrificus Totalus!" The Grimm froze. "Locomotor." With a flick of his wand, the frozen dog rose into the air, and Artemis pulled it into the forest, where he let it down. He pointed his wand at the dog and undid the freezing spell. Turn back, animagus.

The dog, startled, changed into a human. "Incarcerous," said Artemis. Then he looked at his prisoner. "Now who could you be… Poor Harry… hmmm…" The man stared at him sullenly. He was bedraggled, with matted dark hair and sad eyes. Artemis snapped his fingers. "This explains a lot, Sirius Black. I wondered how you would escape. Animagi aren't noticed by dementors, then? Useful information."

The man glared. "And who are you? Mini-Voldemort. Slytherin, I'll bet. Future Dark Lord."

"Interesting. Not fond of Voldemort, are you? Which would be strange for a supposed Death Eater. Which means, this is either a well thought out act, something you planned on the off chance someone might be able to understand a dog's crazed rambling or… the entire magical population was mistaken about the circumstances that night James and Lily Potter died. Someone else betrayed them. You were just the convenient scapegoat."

Black looked surprised. "What?"

Artemis sighed. "It is your story, isn't it? You were betrayed. Everyone thought it was you, but it must've been… Peter Pettigrew. The other school friend. You confronted him, he disappeared without his thumb after blowing up the square. The rat… He's an unregistered animagus as well. That's how he escaped. The rat… is Ron's rat. The one that's twelve years old."

Black's eyes grew larger. "How did you figure it out?"

Artemis smiled. "I am a genius. Literally."

"Wow. Umm… care to untie me?"

Artemis smirked. "I don't know… Years in Azkaban could unhinge anyone. I could probably make money off you… And you insulted my house."

Black snarled. "You little Death Eater scum!"

Artemis rolled his eyes. "I'm a muggle born. Hardly a Death Eater. I suppose I should untie you. Want to kill Pettigrew, yes? That's why you broke into the Gryffindor tower. Not for Ron, or Harry, but for the rat. That cat of Granger's… ally of yours?"

Sirius Black nodded. "Yeah. Sorry about this kid. It's been real." The man pulled his wand out of his back pocket. Artemis' eyes widened, and he opened his mouth, but it was too late. "Obliviate!" Then everything blurred.

Sirius Black

Sirius was in the bushes by the whomping willow, wallowing in memories and self guilt. He was muttering, but it wasn't as if anyone understood him. They're all wrong… suspecting me… Poor Harry… Haven't got a clue… Nasty little rat… He huffed and walked out of the bushes.

Then the impossible happened. A kid was pointing his wand at him. "Immobulus!" Sirius shook it off. "Petrificus Totalus!" He was frozen. "Locomotor." This kid was what, 13? How had he captured Sirius?

The kid took him to the edges of the forest. Then he unfroze him. Turn back, animagus. That kid spoke the language of dogs! How was that possible? Sirius turned back, and the kid tied him up. "Now who could you be… Poor Harry… hmmm…" Sirius stared. The kid looked like kid Voldemort, but his eyes… one was cold and clinical, but the other was warm and welcoming. "This explains a lot, Sirius Black. I wondered how you would escape. Animagus aren't noticed by dementors, then? Useful information."
"And who are you? Mini-Voldemort. Slytherin, I'll bet. Wannabe Dark Lord."

The kid looked weirdly thoughtful. "Interesting. Not fond of Voldemort, are you? Which would be strange for a supposed Death Eater. Which means, this is either a well thought out act, something you planned on the off chance someone might be able to understand a dog's crazed rambling or… the entire magical population was mistaken about the circumstances that night James and Lily Potter died. Someone else betrayed them. You were just the convenient scapegoat."

Sirius was stunned. How had the kid figured out the truth based on a few sentences? "What?"

The kid looked exasperated. "It is your story, isn't it. You were betrayed. Everyone thought it was you, but it must've been… Peter Pettigrew. The other school chum. You confronted him, he disappeared without his thumb after blowing up the square. The rat… He's an unregistered animagus as well. That's how he escaped. The rat… is Ron's rat. The one that's twelve years old."

"How did you figure it out?"

"I am a genius. Literally." Ah. That explained it.

"Wow. Umm… care to untie me?"

The boy smirked. "I don't know… Years in Azkaban could unhinge anyone. I could probably make money off you… And you insulted my house."

Sirius snarled. "You little Death Eater scum!" This kid was off his rocker, genius or not!

Artemis rolled his eyes. "I'm a muggle born. Hardly a Death Eater. I suppose I should untie you. Want to kill Pettigrew, yes? That's why you broke into the Gryffindor tower. Not for Ron, or Harry, but for the rat. That cat of Granger's… ally of yours?"

Sirius reached behind him. He could almost reach… There! "Yeah. Sorry about this kid. It's been real." He pulled his wand out of his pocket and angled it as best as he could at the boy. His eyes widened, and Sirius hit him with a memory charm. He went down, unconscious. Sirius worked off his bonds, and left Artemis on the doorstep of the school. Then he turned back into a dog and ran off into the forest. Didn't even learn his name.

Artemis Fowl

Artemis woke up in the infirmary. He groaned. His head hurt, and there was a slippery spot in it. Something that didn't want to be seen, that he just skipped over lightly. Then there was nothing. There had never been anything. Why had he thought there had been something? He blinked hard. Madam Pomfrey rushed over, looking concerned.

"What happened to you, young man? You were found on the threshold, out cold."

He winced. "I don't know. I remember… walking from Care for Magical Creatures and then… nothing. I woke up here."

Madam Pomfrey nodded sympathetically. "All right. Well, call me if you need anything. You'll have to stay here until tomorrow morning. Just in case." She rushed off to do something.

Artemis lay down. What could have happened to him? This was like… like after the memory wipe. But smaller. Less subtle. But was there anything? What if this was all a construct of his mind? Of some horrible disorder? Nonsense. Stop deluding yourself, your mind is in perfect order. Just missing something. That was when Hermione came in. "What happened?" she asked.

Artemis didn't want to reveal a potential weakness. "I don't know. I don't remember. Nothing happened, I'm sure."

Hermione frowned. "Surely something happened. I doubt you just knocked yourself unconscious."

Artemis knew that more unlikely (and embarrassing) things had happened to him before. "Maybe. I don't know. Probably nothing. Don't worry."

Hermione nodded, looking distracted. "Probably… well, I hope you get better." Hermione rushed off. Artemis frowned. There was definitely something unsettling about it. Nothing happened. There are plenty of plausible answers. Of course, all the plausible answers were bad and definitely out of the ordinary, but he conveniently ignored that. He also ignored the part of his brain telling him something was missing, reminding him of the mind wipe. Nothing is wrong.

Artemis was visited by several Hufflepuffs, Theodore and Blaise, and Neville. All were considerably more worried about what was missing than he was. Artemis ignored them. They're just being paranoid.


This will totally matter later! I figure any proper memory spell, similarly to A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's hacking, will make the subject want to ignore what's missing from their mind. Just going a bit further than the standard mind wipe, which fills in the gaps.