AN: My sister wrote some of this and I added on to it. It's a joint effort this time! This is for chaoticmom again. I will get to the others! I promise!
One hand tied behind your back: To be handicapped or hold back in some manner and still defeat an opponent.
Any member of the crew knew that life on the enterprise was fast paced, always something happening, from random raids to failed and flawed diplomatic missions. Today, one of the odd occasions that he listened, the captain had taken shore leave on command of the chief medical officer, as he had recently sustained an attack from a creature that seemed half ape, half reptilian, part avian, and all ugly. The captain needed a break from insane aliens, and this planet, with Iowa like conditions, was perfect for some much wanted R and R. This allowed the crew some downtime, of which they took advantage. If called for, one would find Scotty in the engine room absentmindedly eating a sandwich and reading technical journals, Chekov and Sulu fencing in the gym (while Chekov argues that real fencing was inwented in Russia), Uhura on the bridge tapping into some distant radio channels and jamming to music in foreign languages, and Dr. McCoy and Spock... well they could be found at the bar in the mess hall, deep in some heated discussion.
A crowd of eavesdroppers and curious-eyed ensigns had gathered around the doctor and Vulcan as they, one calm and the other growing more irate, discussed the subject of survival of the fittest.
" If one species cannot survive, they do not deserve to take up others resources. It is illogical to support those with no future." The half-Vulcan, calmly took a sip of his water while the doctor spluttered through a gulp full of coffee.
"What? You mean you'd let a group of beings die, just because they aren't strong enough for your standards? What if they were just going through a temporary phase? What if they only need a little bit of help? You can't just condemn one group because they come in second on the totem pole of power!" Dr. McCoy's voice raised at least an octave in sound, slightly hurting Spock's sensitive ears.
"Doctor, in nature, as demonstrated in every part of the universe, the strongest survive. It may not be pleasant, but it is certain. Think of your own planet. Khan survived to attack us because he was the strongest and the smartest. He and his followers did not survive by providing care for those who were, in effect, useless."
"Oh really? I guess that means every time you and the Captain get injured, I should just leave you alone and see if you survive?" Bones quirked an eyebrow sarcastically. "God, I guess it means the next time the crew has sparring sessions I should take you on with one hand behind my back and see who wins." He rolled his eyes at the confused look on Spock's face.
"If you believe you could defeat me, it would be prudent."
"Yah, you green-blooded pointy eared hob-gobblin, I could take you with one hand tied behind my back," the doctor laughed. Puzzled the Vulcan logged that piece of information into his plethora of odd tid-bits. He was saved the task of a response, when alarms blared and the red alert lights flashed off and on. All thoughts of rhetorical arguments fled as the two officers ran to their posts.
When Spock reached the bridge, the call was just coming in. "I need Spock and Dr. McCoy down here now! Enterprise did you get that? I need them now!" It was the Captain's voice, thick with worry and frantic with anxiety. "Enterprise?" Uhura turned to Spock, who wondered why she didn't reply. "Mr. Spock, all our communications have been cut with the surface. We can hear what's sent, but we can't respond." Spock nodded and motioned for Uhura to com the doctor in sickbay.
"Mr. Sulu, you have the conn."
Ten minutes later the doctor and Spock were beaming down in the middle of a rolling wheat field. Warm sunlight beat down on their backs as a security team beamed down as well. The area was peaceful, farmland at the peak of the growing season.
"I don't see what Jim has a problem with? There's nothing here." Dr. McCoy groused, setting off in the direction his tricorder pointed him in. Spock fell in step behind him and shrugged in response. If the captain claimed he was in trouble, he was in trouble. Simple enough. However, if the Vulcan was in any way prone to doubt, which in this case he was not, the land here seemed exceedingly peaceful.
Of course this was before a falling tree, poisonous plants, and angry natives took out the red shirts and surrounded him and Dr. McCoy.
Hustling them off to an underground room, the doctor and the science officer decided not to fight the women with guns. They were beautiful women, with scary guns. Lead was one thing both Vulcan and human held an allergy to.
Judging them quickly, the women shackled Spock to a wall and tied Dr. McCoy to a chair. Figuring that the human would be less strong than the alien, they laughed as they tied the ropes and left, off to retrieve their third captive.
Spock sighed in an almost human manner while McCoy tried to break free of the ropes binding him to the chair. After 4.897 minutes, the doctor managed to free one arm. Spock noticed that this left one limb tied to the chair.
"Why doctor, I believe our situation is improving."
"And why is that?"
"Because you claimed to be able to beat me with one limb and I am far stronger than these women. With one hand tied behind your back it should be no trouble." Spock stated these facts as simply as if he were discussing the weather.
McCoy's face turned red in embarrassment and anger as he had to explain to Spock that not only could he not beat him in a fight (stupid Vulcan strength!) but that what he had said was only a human phrase and a sarcastic one at that.
Spock raised an eyebrow and was about to remark when said women came back with their third and final captive, hogtied and thrown over their shoulders. "Hi Spock, Bones!" Jim greeted with forced cheeriness. "Did I ever tell you guys that it's a bad idea to make a group of beautiful women mad? Cause it is!"
Bones and Spock exchanged looks that for once were exactly the same and displayed an opinion easily agreeable.
"Jim, why did we sign up with you?"
AN: Don't tick off the shore leave women, leave a review!
