#8:
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Fuji had a hard time moving his desk into an elevator without people staring at him every millisecond and a security guard stopping him every now and then.
It was really mean of those security guards to do such thing! Sure, they can be useful to people who are being robbed or killed or whatever fatality and casualties, and they even help cats when they were stuck on trees. If they could help cats, why can't they help Fuji in his time of need that was clearly more important instead of just standing there, talking into a walkie-talkie, blinking, breathing, telling him that he wasn't allowed to move his desk into the elevator and that he should get a life. They never did this to cats! So cats were more important than him?
Oh wait, I take that back. The people who help cats are firemen.
Fuji had a brilliant thought.
Five minutes of really hard work, torture, sweat and fake tears later…
Fuji called the fire department.
"Hello, you have reached the firemen's office. For assistance on aliens, press one," the pre-recorded voice said.
Fuji smiled and made a mental note to himself to call them sometime later.
"For assistance on your cat being stuck on a tree, press two."
Fuji didn't have a cat and the only cat he saw in the mall had just finished doing its business and he didn't want to get his hands dirty in any way.
"For assistance on fires, press three."
Fuji thought it was weird for firemen to have the 'fire' option pressed on the third button and the people having to wait for about two minutes or something.
"For assistance on Elmo's World, Cookie Monster World or Ant World, press four, five or six."
What was wrong with people nowadays?
"For assistance on none of the above, press seven."
Fuji pressed seven.
This time, a real voice answered.
"Hello, what can I do to help you? Let me guess, you want me to kill Barney too, don't you?"
"Um, no," Fuji answered, "It's just a little problem I have. My desk is stuck on a tree and since you help cats who are stuck on trees, we thought we should call you."
"We? Okay, then, kid. Give me your name, description and your friend's name and description and your location. Our locating machine is malfunctioning; it keeps saying that you're on Mars."
"My name is Fuji Shuusuke, I'm a fourteen-year-old male; my friend's name is Greg and he's a two-month old cactus. We're at a mall under the sky and above the sea. I see lots of people walking by and plenty of shops."
"Thank you for the information. I'll be there in a few seconds."
He arrived.
Fuji motioned to a fake tree and a security guard. He was probably saying that his desk was stuck on the tree because the evil security guard threw it.
The fireman got it down, ranted at the importance of child-safety, tree-safety and desk-safety and helped Fuji move it into the elevator.
Fuji thanked him and sat behind his desk.
It was nine in the morning. Perfect.
A little girl stepped into the elevator.
"Excuse me miss, but do you have an appointment with the monsters under your frilly and girly bed?" he asked like how a good secretary would (1).
The little girl pictured a fluffy cookie being eaten by an ugly monster and ran out the elevator crying.
A man in a very expensive suit entered Fuji's 'office'.
Before the man could say anything, Fuji asked in a monotone voice, "Excuse me, mister, but do you have an appointment? If you do not, get off this elevator before my security guards behind you poke you to death."
The man looked behind him. He saw two giant cactuses in the security guard uniform with very, very big sunglasses.
He sweatdropped and left the crazy man alone in the elevator.
Tachibana walked in next.
"Excuse me, ma'am, do you have an appointed with him?" Fuji asked, making his voice mysterious like.
Tachibana raised an eyebrow. "Ma'am? Um, Fuji, I'm a guy and we know each other and I don't look anything like a girl and who the *insert place where Schmitt and Bach and Sevcik and Schradiek are right now, suffering* is 'him'?" (2)
Fuji kept his eyes closed and replied coolly, another thing a good secretary would do. "You think you're a man, but you might actually be a girl. You'll never know, right? Anyways, we don't encourage swearing here, so if you want to swear until your mouth and teeth and tongue and taste buds rot, do so outside this special room. He is my boss, he is Greg. Do you have an appointment with him?"
Tachibana rolled his eyes while keeping one of his eyebrows raised. "Greg? Your newest pet cactus?"
Fuji finally opened his eyes and retorted, "HE IS NOT MY PET CACTUS! HE IS MY BOSS! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT HIM!"
Fuji called security and the cactuses behind him arrested him and sent him to the nearest mental institute which was somewhat close to the toilet…
Tachibana:
Tachibana wasn't actually crazy. They were persuaded to take him in by the sharp spikes on the undead cactuses that were holding him.
"How did they come to life?" the people of the mental institute asked Tachibana.
Tachibana tried to shrug but he couldn't. He realized that he became paralyzed from the spikes that were poking him before. He couldn't move. At that point, the people thought that was why the undead cactuses thought he was crazy.
Tachibana got stroke next (3) and then his head stayed in the same position, outstretched and pinned to the side. He couldn't see anything happening on his right side anymore and he couldn't move his head. This is the real reason he was hospitalized in episode one hundred something.
Fuji smiled at the cactus-security guards. Even he didn't know how they came to life. Maybe it was the horrible smell that emitted from Tachibana that made them come to life and move him far, far away.
A/N: Yes, I'm not supposed to be writing during finals, but I have a three-day holiday and besides, today's my birthday
I couldn't help it
By the way, daisy, Caramelldansen is a cute Swedish song that comes with its own cute unique dance. Search for it on YouTube. You can find so many videos of it.
The class secretaries in my class are terrible secretaries.
Yes, the place beginning with the letter 'H'. They are there because they make everyone suffer from their fingerdrills. (Especially Schmitt! Because of him, my friend quit the piano, my other friend went down a grade and my teacher said his name by mistake when he wanted me to get Sevcik. I got the wrong book) Except Bach. All his songs that are in minor are torture!
I'm not sure if that's possible, but I want to make him experience tragedy after tragedy or something like that..
PLEASE REVIEW!
