A/N: Set right after Awakening.
The sound of Helen's laughter, no longer muted by sub-standard human hearing, resonated through Nikola's ears like music. He sighed happily, running a hand through his hair, and dared a glance over at her. She was still chuckling, looking up at the sky, and Nikola couldn't keep the admiration off his face. She had just saved the world, again. And him. Again.
Nikola shifted a bit on the ground to get a clearer look at her (if it brought their hands closer together, that was pure coincidence). He probably looked like an idiot, gazing at her in a sappy way, but he didn't really care – Helen had just given him his life back. Against all odds, she'd found a way to revamp him; he was immortal again. It was like a crushing weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
Ever since he'd been de-vamped, his eventual death had loomed in front of him constantly. There was so much he still had to do, so many ideas, and he'd thrown himself into his work with an unrelenting will that would have taxed his strength even as a vampire. As a human, well, it had certainly done nothing to make that looming demise any further off. (All the wine probably hadn't helped, either, but Nikola certainly wasn't giving that up. He and the rest of the Five prided themselves on being rule-breakers, forward thinkers, but after a hundred years of habit, Nikola had apparently become as resistant to change as anyone.)
Helen had known, or suspected, that he was over-doing it. She always knew. He was pretty sure that over the last few months she had been building up to a substantial lecture on taking care of himself, which she herself had now rendered pointless.
Shame, really. She was always spectacular when she was lecturing him.
"If you're done swooning, Nikola, perhaps we should get moving."
Nikola's attention snapped back to the present, and he focused on Helen looking at him with her lips pursed, clearly amused. "Swooning at an inappropriate time? Me? Helen, I thought you had a higher opinion of me."
Ignoring him, Helen got to her feet, brushing her hands off and looking down at the blast crater. "Bloody hell," she said softly.
Nikola turned, propping himself up on his elbow and looking over the small hill they'd taken shelter behind. "Wow. I always knew our passion was explosive, but that's really taking it to the next level." Grinning, he looked back up at Helen just in time to see her pinch her nose.
"Dear Lord," she groaned.
"Careful, Helen, at this rate you'll be out of catch phrases before we get back."
She shook her head, sticking her hand out. "Up, come on, before your sense of humor makes me wish I'd left you behind."
Nikola took her hand. A jolt ran through him as his fingers slipped between hers; one of the (many) accompanying perks of being a vampire was a slightly heightened sense of touch. He had gotten used to its absence – he'd gotten used to a lot of things' absence – but being able to feel every line on Helen's palm in detail and even, if he concentrated, the blood running under her skin threw him for a loop. He swallowed. Oh, he'd missed this, being so aware of Helen.
"Excuse me, you leave me behind?" he replied, managing a smug tone. "I'd like to point out which one of us can run faster."
Helen hauled him up and he staggered rather awkwardly to his feet – apparently, the vampiric grace would be a little longer in returning. Nikola cleared his throat. Helen was still holding his hand, and his renewed sensitivity was making every little accidental caress of her fingers across his very distracting.
"So what now?" he said, looking back at the crater again. It certainly didn't look like anything was salvageable in that smoking mass. Nikola felt a twinge at the thousands of years of history that had undoubtedly just been lost forever.
Shielding her eyes from the wind that had kicked up, Helen dropped his hand and went to the crest of the hill. "We head back to the Sanctuary," she said. "There's no way anything could have survived that explosion, and we could both use medical attention."
Nikola went to stand by her. On the way here, they'd had to do some hiking to get to the caves once the terrain got more difficult, and the tunnels underground had carried them even further from the entrance, so their vehicle had certainly been outside the blast radius. In the mad rush out of the caverns, they hadn't really been paying attention to heading back the way they came, or any which way at all for that matter. Still, they were within a reasonable distance of it.
Helen said as much, still looking at the crater with a distant expression.
"Well, that's some good news," Nikola said, glad to see Helen look over at him, her eyes focusing. She'd done what she absolutely had to and she knew it, but Helen would dwell on things if she had the opportunity. He leaned in, whispering. "Though I wouldn't mind carrying you all the way home."
"Oh, please." Helen rolled her eyes.
"Come on, Helen, it would be thematically appropriate. I nearly died in your arms, the least I can do is return the favor."
If he hadn't been so close, he would never have noticed Helen tensing beside him.
"Not the dying part, of course," he added with a grin. "Just the tender embracing."
"Sorry to disappoint your love of the theatric, Nikola, but I think the plane will work quite well." Her tone was even, if somewhat strained. "And I don't remember you ever being in my arms," she added, turning to face him as her expression lightened.
"Hmm, well, you can't blame me for having a fuzzy memory, you know, what with the mortal injuries and all."
Helen took his elbow rather stiffly. "Maybe while you sort it out, we could start on our way? I'd rather not stay out here for much longer."
Nikola let Helen pull him along for a few steps before she let go of his arm, setting a brisk but not difficult pace down the hill, back to the path they'd taken to get to the cavern entrance. There must have still been a great deal of dust in the air – even revamped, Nikola could barely see in the haze.
"Turning into quite the homebody, aren't you? First we spend weeks closeted together on that map, now this…" Nikola was mostly making conversation, but he was eager to get back as well. His newly rediscovered abilities – and lifespan – opened all sorts of exciting doors he'd thought were closed before.
The ground seemed remarkably uneven, much more so than he remembered. Nikola set his foot down wrong and went stumbling for a few steps before he righted himself with more difficulty than he would have liked. Now a few feet further along than she was, he turned back to Helen, squinting through the haze in the air and still a little disoriented. This was worse than being drunk. How Helen was navigating this mess was beyond him.
Helen frowned at him. "Actually, I rather thought I should get you back to the Cairo Sanctuary as soon as possible. I'm not certain how your body is going to react to being revamped – your De-Vamper did its work awfully well, I'd like to make sure this is going to be permanent."
Her face was out of focus, but still incredibly beautiful, as always. Nikola smiled dizzily. "Helen, are you saying you want me around forever?" he mumbled.
She stopped walking as she reached him, peering at him with concern. "Nikola, are you alright?"
"Of course," he said, though it was becoming readily apparent he was not. "You were worrying about me. Carry on."
"Nikola." Helen gripped his shoulders. "Look at me."
"When don't I?" His words were indistinct. He blinked, still trying to clear his eyes. Helen was nothing but a vague blur in front of him – a blur that tilted suddenly and fell away from Nikola as his legs gave out.
He didn't pass out, exactly – the world just got very dim and grey and wobbly for a little while. His ears were ringing. Helen was saying something, sounding remarkably upset, but Nikola couldn't make out the words.
When his head stopped spinning and his vision cleared, he found himself flat on his back in the dirt, which didn't surprise him. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. Still, there had been a distinct lack of pain, which Nikola could only assume meant Helen had stopped him from hitting the ground too hard. She was kneeling next to him, so close his head was touching her leg. One of her hands was pressed against his neck, the other stroking his cheek gently.
"Nikola," she was whispering, so quietly he wouldn't have been able to hear her if he hadn't had his extra senses back. "Come on, Nikola. Not now."
Nikola was going to answer her, but a groan came out instead. "I thought I was supposed to be done with this," he muttered, pushing himself to sit up.
Helen had clearly been lost in her own thoughts; she started at the sound of his voice, looking at him with considerable relief. "Stay still," she ordered him for the second time that day, locking an arm around his shoulders to support him.
"You know, if you wanted to cradle me in your arms, you didn't need an excuse," he said. This was a rather pleasant way to wake up, even if he could have done without the precursor. At least he could see Helen clearly again.
"I think I have my answer, but are you alright?" she asked, a note of sarcasm in her voice.
Nikola was balanced at a very uncomfortable angle, but if he shifted around, Helen might let go of him. He stayed where he was. "Ehh. Less awful than I was expecting. What the hell just happened?" A horrible thought occurred to him, and he quickly flung his hand out, away from Helen, sighing in relief as his claws slid out.
"I have a theory about that," Helen said, watching this little display with a hint of some emotion Nikola couldn't quite place. "You recall how Afina seemed a little lightheaded when she first got out of stasis? After she had a taste of your blood and pushed you down that shaft –"
"Not my finest moment," he interjected.
"True. After she revealed her intentions, I suspected she may have been feigning her weakness to garner our sympathy, but what if it was as genuine as we first believed?"
Nikola clicked his tongue. "I knew you were jealous."
"I – jealous? Really?" Helen bristled. "Please."
"You looked quite deadly," he informed her, smirking. "I was astonished, Helen, that you would be so unprofessional as to get that upset, just because someone else dared to merely touch me…"
Helen raised her eyebrows. "The woman wanted to conquer the world – destroy it, maybe – and you think the biggest problem I had with her is that she held your hand?"
"Hey, I don't mind." Nikola waved the hand in question.
She shook her head, inhaling deeply. "Right, well, putting that aside, it appears that you're suffering from something similar."
"Sure. Except that I wasn't in stasis for thousands of years," he pointed out.
"Yes, but no one else has ever been de-vamped and turned back. As far as we know, you are a unique case."
"Aww, Helen. You're being so nice to me today."
She leveled a look at him. "Would you care to hear in what other ways I consider you unique, Nikola?"
"Probably not."
"I thought so. As I was saying, we have no way of knowing how you're going to be affected by this, which makes getting you back to where I can properly look you over that much more imperative." Helen sighed thoughtfully. "When you said earlier you weren't at full strength, you also said you were hungry. How are you doing with that?"
"Starving and trying not to think about it," Nikola replied.
"It may be related to that." They were both well aware that it was only a theory, but it was better than nothing. "We won't know for sure until I take a closer look at you and we can run some tests."
"You can do whatever you like with me any time, Helen," he said, grinning.
She closed her eyes. "Why I even bother…" she muttered.
"Thanks for catching me, by the way. I mean, I'm kind of invulnerable again, but it's the thought that counts."
"Ah. Well." Helen cleared her throat, looking uncharacteristically awkward. "You're very welcome."
A moment went by in silence.
"You know it physically pains me to say this, but you can let go of me now," he said, his smirk deepening. He really didn't want to bring it up, but Helen had been right about getting back as quickly as possible.
Helen immediately removed her arm and stood up, leaving Nikola on the ground wishing he hadn't said anything. She hadn't had to take his words quite so to heart…
She extended a hand to him. "We'll take it easy on the way back. Tell me if you start feeling dizzy again, and we can stop and rest. Alright?"
He nodded and grasped her hand, getting to his feet with an encouraging lack of trouble.
"If you're hungry, you know, you could always go find one of those local antelope you're so fond of," she told him.
"I doubt that explosion left much hanging around behind. Besides, you might have to hunt it for me at this point," Nikola said. He was no longer so lightheaded, but he was starting to feel awfully tired. Helen didn't let go of his hand, for which he was grateful no matter how distracting it was.
"Really? I thought you were going to carry me," Helen teased, though he could hear the underlying tension in her voice.
"There's no need to be smug, my dear. Even if it is an enchanting look on you."
"Don't think I'm going to let you get away with even worse lines than usual, just because you're not feeling well," she warned.
"The thought never crossed my mind."
They made it back to their vehicle without incident. Apart from a little mild exhaustion, Nikola felt perfectly fine the whole time: a heartening sign, though it didn't seem to lessen Helen's resolve to examine him in depth as soon as possible.
The journey back to the plane took less time than it had coming – no doubt Helen was gunning the engine as surreptitiously as she could. It was…unusual, if not necessarily unpleasant, how worried she was about him, and Nikola focused on that as she got the plane in the air. The less time he spent contemplating how hungry he was, or the unlikely but troubling possibility that he might not stay a vampire, the better. Helen was always a good way to distract himself.
Sure, she was concerned about him now, but this was nothing compared to what she'd been like in Afina's tomb. (He supposed it had been a stasis chamber, really, but the place had had the air of a tomb – it had almost been his tomb, and it was certainly one now.) He fully expected that now the crisis was past, Helen was never going to mention any of it again; Nikola was going to remember what she'd done for him for the rest of his life. Which was, thanks to her, a substantially longer period of time now than it had been before.
Back there, Nikola had been sure he was going to die, and all he'd really wanted in his final moments was what he'd always been happiest doing – learning, discovering, with Helen. (A last kiss might have been kinda nice, though.) Helen, on the other hand, had been buried so deeply in denial that, as touching as it was, Nikola couldn't help but try to make her come to some kind of acceptance, or at least distract her.
Maybe part of it was that he knew, no matter how much blame she rightly threw at him in her worry, that in the end, at least on some level, she would hold herself responsible. Helen had a tendency to do that. As much grief as he gave her, Nikola hadn't wanted his death weighing on Helen's conscience forever.
Of course, her refusal to give up on him had ended up saving his life. He was going to hold onto that, too.
From the pilot's seat, Helen looked over at where he sat gazing out at the shadowy ground rolling by underneath. He glanced back at her, his lips twitching in what he hoped was a reassuring smile. He was expecting Helen to say something – they'd filled the entire trip here with conversation – but she just kept her eyes on him for a moment more before turning back to the controls, leaving Nikola with nothing to do but resume his thoughts.
Helen had kept touching him during the whole affair, so much more than she usually did that Nikola thought it must have been unconscious. She would stroke his arm or his knee as if she did it all the time – even on the way back here, she had let go of his hand only rarely.
The way she'd shattered that crystal into bits, with nothing but a rock and her bare hands… His jaw had nearly dropped when he'd seen it. It was really a shame he'd been busy being pretty much unconscious at that point. She'd probably looked fabulous, all fired up and desperate to save him.
And that was vampire technology, ancient vampire technology. That would have taken determination. Helen had always had a fiercely protective streak, but to even indirectly witness it applied for him…And just him. No having to save the world (yet), no Sanctuary kiddies in danger. Only him.
The best part of it was, Helen had realized her explanation of why she'd been able to break the crystal was incredibly lame and blown him off by changing the subject instead. But in doing so, she had almost admitted that he had been right – she'd done it because she couldn't stand losing him.
And that was a very distracting thought.
He wasn't quite sure what to make of all this; her intensity back there had surprised even him. He knew that she probably would have done the same for anyone – after all, that was one of the reasons he loved her so much. But part of him was hoping that maybe it was an indication of something else, that maybe there was at least some part of her that returned his feelings, though Nikola didn't want to trust that hope too much. The tiniest amount of progress seemed like more than enough, more than he had ever expected, and now they had all the time in the world. He could wait.
…Though, in the middle of all of these indulgently sentimental thoughts, he felt he should also spare some appreciation for the knowledge that Helen had been two seconds away from blowing the crystal up with make-shift explosives to save him. That was just cool.
Helen had called ahead to the Cairo Sanctuary to prepare them for a few unexpected guests. She had always been more tactful than Nikola, so he hung back and let her explain why there was a hungry, annoying vampire on the doorstep to Pili, the Sanctuary leader. He'd also started to feel just a little dizzy again, and he let his head clear during their conversation, leaning back against the door with his eyes closed. Helen kept the pleasantries genuine but brief, apologizing for the short notice and asking to use their laboratory.
In no time at all, Helen had his arm again and was walking him down the corridor Pili had indicated. The lab at the end of the passage wasn't bad, exactly. Well, no, it was pretty bad. It was no better than the one in Helen's Sanctuary, which Nikola felt was all the condemnation it required.
But it had what they needed, so they got to work.
Anyone else would probably have felt worried for themselves, being in the same room as a starving vampire, but not Helen. She didn't even seem fazed. It was incredibly hot, and Nikola said so, grinning when she looked up and rolled her eyes.
Of course, she wasn't really in any danger. From their time at Oxford just after their experiments, when their ability to find him a workable substitute for human blood had been rather in doubt, Nikola had an older vow than the one he currently upheld – a simpler one, ingrained so deeply in him he and Helen both knew he would never break it: not Helen. Never Helen.
After so many years of practice, their preparation time was respectably low, and Helen watched as Nikola tipped back the plasma mixture without even bothering to complain about how bad it tasted.
He made a face. "Ick. How did I stand this?"
There were the complaints, right on schedule. Helen shook her head as Nikola threw back another dose, his nose wrinkling.
Feeling a sudden glow of warmth and contentment course through her as she watched her oldest friend gulp what was intended to be a replacement for human blood, and complain about how bad it tasted in comparison, might just be considered somewhat strange, but Helen enjoyed the strangeness in her life. This was an even more welcome instance than it usually was, as a matter of fact.
It couldn't help but jar her memories of times they spent together bickering in the lab over whether Nikola could make it taste better without sacrificing any nutritional properties. But it was more than that: Nikola had been a vampire almost as long as she'd known him. Now that he was returned to his old self, it seemed as if she'd managed to set something subtly wrong about the world right again.
At the time, saving his life had been the only thing on her mind, and she'd been kept preoccupied by saving the world after that. Once she'd finally been able to process it, though, she had also realized with an intense, almost overwhelming rush of joy that she was no longer alone, the one and only immortal in the world: she had Nikola back.
Forever.
Presuming they concluded that it was permanent, of course, but watching him now, just as she had so many times before, Helen actually felt optimistic.
After his third helping, Nikola spluttered in an exaggerated way, jolting Helen from her ruminations and unintentionally ruining the mood. "I think that's all I can handle for now," he coughed.
Helen glanced at the lab table. "I should think so," she said, frowning. "You've went through everything we just made."
Nikola massaged his stomach ruefully. "Anything tastes good when you're starving," he said, and immediately contradicted himself by adding, "Foul brew. I hope your Sanctuary leader has some wine on hand to wash it down."
"I doubt it," Helen said to forestall him from bothering Pili. She eyed him closely. He had been looking rather pallid, but there was a little color back in his cheeks now. So far, he hadn't suffered any more serious dizzy spells, but she wasn't one to take anything for granted. "Alright, let's get you over to the infirmary."
"Ow!" Nikola jerked his arm away as soon as she'd finished drawing the needle from it. "I take back what I said earlier about you being nice to me today." He rubbed the spot where she'd taken a blood sample, looking offended.
Helen took his hand, prying his fingers off his arm and peering at it. She lifted it up. "It's already healed, Nikola," she said flatly.
He kept forgetting he could do that again. "Well, you could have given me a little more warning."
Helen held up another needle, no doubt preparing to jab that one into him as well.
"Ow," Nikola said, just to get ahead of things. "Give me a break, Helen, I had a near death experience today. I was hoping for a little more tenderness and a little less pain."
"Sorry Nikola," Helen said briskly. "You're stuck with me."
"I thought you were supposed to protect abnormals," he grumbled as Helen continued poking and prodding him.
Helen gave him an unimpressed look before rolling his sleeve down. Was he imagining it, or did her hand linger a little on his elbow before letting him go? "There, you're done, for now. You should go get some sleep. I can test this tonight."
"Nope," he said immediately. "No way. You think I'm going to just take a nap, while my fate hangs in the balance? I don't think so. I'm the vampire expert, I'm staying." From her face, he could tell that Helen was going to dispute the matter, so he held her gaze pointedly.
"You need rest, Nikola," she said, her patience clearly running a little thin.
"So do you," he countered. "Just as much as I do. You know we work faster – and better – together. It's my life, and my…vampire…ness. I'm coming with you."
She pursed her lips, then sighed, giving in. "I'm not going to waste any more time arguing with you."
Nikola grinned.
"Chairs were invented for a reason, you know," Helen pointed out as Nikola knelt on the floor next to where she sat at the desk. She had already begun to run the tests on his blood that would give them the details about his revamping that they were sorely lacking.
"No more joint pain," he said by way of explanation. "I'm relishing the moment."
Shaking her head, Helen turned back to the computer with a faint smile that had been Nikola's objective. He propped his cheek on his hand, smiling back at her and enjoying her very fine profile.
"No more paper cuts," he went on. "Oh my God, I can drink as much as I want. I can get hit by cars again."
Helen raised her eyebrows, her mouth twisting in part amusement, part disturbance. "Were you planning on getting hit by a great many cars any time soon?"
"No, but you know how it is. Some people just don't have your extraordinary affection for my winning personality," he said, leaning towards her.
Helen snorted but didn't answer, and a few minutes went by in silence. Nikola's fingers drummed on the desk. Being humble was a rare experience for him, but this was worth it.
"Hey, Helen," Nikola said at last, swallowing nervously.
"Yes?" Helen sounded distracted, focused on the screen again.
"Uh," he said. Not an auspicious beginning. Helen appeared to have not even heard him. He drew her attention off the screen by sliding his hand over hers, lying close to him on the keyboard, and tried again.
"Thank you," he managed. "For what you did." Nikola gestured vaguely with his other hand towards himself. "For – all this."
Helen smiled. "You're welcome, Nikola. I…" She stopped, her expression far away. "It was certainly my pleasure," she said after a second, squeezing his hand.
Thank you just didn't seem to suffice for the enormity of what Nikola had to be grateful to her for. He looked down, stroking her fingers. "I am myself again," he said softly, knowing she'd remember their conversation from last year, after he'd been de-vamped. He looked back up, meeting her eyes. "Because of you."
Helen was looking at him with a warm sort of light that was giving Nikola trouble concentrating. She opened her mouth and closed it again, and at that moment, the computer beeped. Helen almost seemed to welcome the diversion, immediately looking back at the screen and breaking the atmosphere.
Damn it.
Nikola stared at the test results. That was two the universe had handed him today. If a third wonderful thing happened to him, he was going to start getting suspicious.
Helen looked over at him, smiling slightly. "Congratulations, Nikola."
It was official: he was a vampire again, now and forever. He hadn't really been expecting anything else – on some level, he had been able to feel it – but on the other hand, there had been an element of "too good to be true" in the entire business, and seeing the incontrovertible proof right there was having a rather strong effect on him.
"It looks as if my theory was correct; your earlier dizziness seems to be because of hunger, for the most part, which we've already gone a long way towards alleviating. A few more decent meals and you'll be back to – well, abnormal," Helen continued.
"Was your sense of humor always so dreadful, Helen?"
"Only since I met you." Helen pushed her chair back, taking his elbow as she stood and pulling him to his feet with her. "And you also need rest. Go to bed." She started marching him out of the room.
"Are you coming with me?" he asked with a twinkle.
She halted by the door, turning to grasp his shoulders. "No, I am going to stay here and make sure you have something if you get hungry again tonight. The last thing Pili needs is an obnoxious vampire wandering the halls of her Sanctuary in the dead of night."
"Ah, I see," he said, grinning. "Don't want to share me, is that it? Well, I don't mind. I can go and tell our friendly Sanctuary leader that I am your obnoxious vampire, and I belong only to you, dear Helen, if you'd like."
"Hmm." Pressing her lips together in an unamused expression, Helen tilted her head and looked thoughtfully at him. "Nikola, about what you said earlier…"
"Yes, dear Helen?" Nikola couldn't quite wipe the smile off his face, and figured he was still a little giddy from having his immortality back. Thanks to Helen, it was all thanks to Helen, and even if his little endearments were disguised as more of his smarmy routine, he meant every word.
"You were always yourself, Nikola. As a human, and as a vampire."
"Aww, Helen, what a sweet senti-"
"Insufferable." Her face broke into too fond an expression and too wide a smile for Nikola to feel really offended, but he took the point.
"Good night, Helen," he said. "Sweet dreams. Preferably of me, but whatever makes you happy…"
"Good night, Nikola," Helen said, suppressed laughter in her voice. "Remember this isn't my Sanctuary, so go straight to bed. No raiding the wine cellar."
"I'm sure she could spare a few –"
Helen shut the door.
"Ok," Nikola muttered. "Straight to bed."
She made enough of their animal plasma and nutrient mixture to tide Nikola over for at least another day. After that, Helen went to bed herself, stopping by Pili's office on the way to thank her again for her hospitality. She also foraged for a cup of hot tea and picked up a book from the library while she was headed over to her guest room.
The Sanctuary was completely silent – she didn't run into a soul other than Pili while walking around. Helen ordinarily enjoyed a peaceful night, but she would admit today had rattled her somewhat, and tonight the silence seemed oppressive rather than comforting. She found herself missing Nikola and his distracting chatter; she could have used the company.
After a quick shower, Helen settled into bed and sipped her tea, closing her eyes in appreciation of its soothing warmth. As was her custom before she went to sleep, she opened her book and began to read, but her eyes kept unfocusing, her thoughts wandering away. It had been a long, long day, and try as she might, Helen couldn't quiet her mind.
These little outings she sometimes had with Nikola never seemed to go the way they were supposed to – he had always possessed a gift for complicating things. For that matter, even when they didn't go out, complicated things happened all the same. After all, they'd nearly blown up her house the last time they'd had a quiet night in.
Helen loved adventure; she thrilled at the unknown. Nikola did too, which was part of why they got along so well. (Most of the time.) That was what today was supposed to have been. Instead, she had come close, terrifyingly close, to losing him – another person she cared for had almost been snatched away.
It had been incredibly pointless, as death so often was in Helen's experience. He'd almost died, simply because he'd been careless, rushing in and not taking the shield off sooner, because they had relied on an outdated map that hadn't warned them about the fort being taken by vampires, maybe because she hadn't been quick enough to warn him.
The helplessness, though, that was what stuck with Helen the most. She'd built her entire life around saving people, and this was Nikola: her oldest friend, and in many ways her best friend. She should have been able to do something. But until she had found Afina's crystal tomb, she'd had to just stand there and watch him die, knowing there was absolutely nothing she could do to save him.
After the discovery of the tomb, the situation had shifted. Helen had cooked up her plan to save Nikola almost on the spot, but she'd had an impossibly small sliver of time to do it in. Even so, if he had died then, when there was a real chance of saving him, she couldn't have helped but feel responsible. And he nearly had; Helen knew it had come down to mere minutes, maybe even less. If the crystal had been just a little tougher, if she had happened to read a different pillar first…
Helen's jaw clenched, the desperation that she'd felt in the tomb bubbling to the surface, and she gripped her book a little tighter, refocusing on the letters. She turned a page, ignoring the fact that she hadn't absorbed a single word on the last one.
This was ridiculous, she told herself. Nikola was fine. She'd been bickering with him only hours ago, and he was just down the hall, no doubt fast asleep and dreaming happily of world domination by now. But her earlier contentment in the lab, when Nikola had been safe in front of her, seemed distant.
Helen took another sip of tea, the cup clattering onto the saucer when she put it down as her hands shook slightly. She inhaled deeply, once again trying to read, but instead of the text swimming vaguely in front of her, all she could focus on were the images she'd pushed to the back of her mind up till now, when they had been jarred loose. They came rushing towards her, as sharp and clear as if she were still living them.
Nikola, with that blank, confused expression fixed on his face after the laser shot, looking at her in an almost pleading way. Nikola, in a rare burst of unselfishness, actually trying his damnedest to convince her she had done everything she could for him.
Nikola trembling in her arms and spilling blood everywhere as she helped him over to the crystal, just because he valued knowledge and discovery above all else. Nikola crumpled on the ground, pale, cold, unmoving, that spark in him that she treasured so dearly fading away right in front of her.
There had been a moment back there when she'd started to say his name, trying to keep him awake, his attention focused on her. But he had been so clearly beyond her reach, and the thought had struck Helen suddenly, like a physical blow that sent all the oxygen out of her lungs, that they would never talk – she would never hear his voice again. No more banter, both of them delighting in the snappy back-and-forth, no more enthusing with each other about their scientific pursuits. Her conversations with Nikola crackled with an energy that she had yet to find with anyone else.
Nikola could often be insensitive and over-the-top, but he knew perfectly how to cheer her up, and when she needed it. And no matter how much they clashed and quarreled, they were always there for each other. He had a way of saying her name, suffused with so much love and trust…
The silence in the Sanctuary was suddenly too oppressive. Before she quite realized it she was up and moving, already through her door and halfway down the hall on her way to Nikola's room.
Nikola opened the door with his hand on his hip, looking like he was tired and trying to hide it. His hair stuck up at even odder angles than usual; she had certainly woken him up. He had at least changed out of his bloody, ruined clothes, though into such a similar outfit that Helen couldn't imagine he had been planning on going to sleep right away: she suspected that he had been about to wander around the Sanctuary despite her orders, but dozed off instead. She was relieved he had changed, though – she wasn't especially keen at the moment on seeing any more reminders of what had happened today.
"Helen?" His voice was a little fuzzy, but his gaze sharpened as he looked her over. "Are you alright?"
Thinking about it now, perhaps she shouldn't have come. This had been a ridiculous idea. Though it hadn't been an idea, really, more of an impulse, a need to see him alive and well again before she could rest. Still, if she weren't careful, Nikola would catch on very quickly, no matter how tired he was.
"I'm fine," she lied. She'd lost track of how many times she'd told that same lie over the years. "How are you feeling?"
"Uh, fine." Nikola pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head slightly in an obvious attempt to clear it. "Was there any particular reason why you thought I wouldn't be? An enthusiastic invasion of vampire hunters, perhaps, ripped straight from the pages of popular literature?"
He was fully awake now. Helen could always measure how alert he was by the amount of smart remarks he made.
"Really, Nikola, after all your wheedling and everything that's happened, I'd have thought you would be the last person to argue with me over looking in on you." She kept her tone level, only a hint of her earlier feelings creeping through.
"Aww, Helen," he said, smiling broadly. "You felt the need to check on me, at three in the morning? How kind of you – I always knew you cared." His tone was light. "Well, don't worry, the vampire hunters won't get me. I wouldn't dream of being in mortal peril unless you were around to save me."
Helen only stared at him, struggling to keep her expression from changing. He was being so flippant, just as he always was. She had been losing sleep over what had almost happened to him today, and here he stood breezily cracking jokes, clearly thinking she could brush it off as lightly as he seemed to be doing.
After all, why wouldn't he? Helen made it a point to conceal the depth of her feelings for him behind a wall of sarcasm whenever she could. And for all that he had an ego the size of a planet, Nikola had always found it curiously easy to believe the worst about her opinion of him.
"As you can see, I'm perfectly fine." He ran a hand through his hair, frowning. "My sense of style is the only thing in danger at the moment."
Helen felt her jaw tighten. More quips.
"You're impossible." Helen had intended it to be a teasing retort, after which she would raise her eyebrows at him and be on her way; they'd played the same scene out a million times before. But it came out harsh and disbelieving instead.
Nikola had the audacity to look offended. "What?"
"You nearly died," she said sharply. "And you're treating this as if it's some sort of joke."
"When have you ever known me to do anything else?" He sounded infuriatingly casual, even now. "Besides, it all turned out so spectacularly."
"Spectacularly?" she echoed.
"Yeah, ok, it was incredibly painful at the time," Nikola conceded. "But I've been working towards this ever since that unfortunate business last year, and if a little excruciating pain is the price I have to pay to become a vampire again, I would pay it a thousand times over. You know that, Helen. Come on, you can hardly blame me for feeling a little invulnerable right now." He actually grinned.
"Invulnerable?" The volume of her voice was rising. It was just as well they were in the guest wing, away from everyone else. "This wasn't some sort of master plan. You were bleeding out in front of me not twelve hours ago." Helen swallowed. "Invulnerable is not the word I would use. Lucky, perhaps."
"To have you," he said, but Helen wasn't in the mood for his ridiculous lines right now.
"Don't," she snapped. Nikola actually stepped back, the smile evaporating off his face. "If you're incapable of taking this seriously, then so be it. But kindly refrain from acting like I don't."
"Never fear, Helen, no one could begin to accuse you of that." He was beginning to sound strained.
"You were dying, Nikola." Helen fought to keep her voice steady. "Another minute, and you would have."
"I know I was unconscious, but I think I remember that much. Did I miss anything else exciting? A final kiss, some last few passionate words?" From his tone, even Nikola apparently couldn't decide if he were being flip, bitter, or genuinely curious.
Neither of Nikola's scenarios had happened, but Helen recalled again the moment when she'd had the breath knocked out of her – how she'd ordered him not to die – because she couldn't stand to lose him.
She must have waited just a little too long to answer, or maybe it was the way she avoided looking directly at him, because Nikola's eyes had widened and he suddenly looked so uncertain and hopeful that something in Helen's chest twisted painfully.
"Do you honestly believe I care so little about you that I can watch you die, over and over again – " Colombia burst into Helen's mind, those few terrible minutes when she had thought he was gone forever – "and brush it aside without a second thought?" Her voice was quiet now.
A long moment stretched out while they looked at each other in silence. Nikola's expression had softened even further, and he took a tentative step forward.
"Helen," he whispered, apology radiating from him.
Helen closed the distance between them, reaching for him and pulling him into her arms. Nikola's hands hovered hesitantly at her side for a moment before he returned her embrace tightly, pressing his lips against her hair in what he probably thought was a subtle way.
She hugged him closer, burying her face in his neck. He was warm, so reassuringly warm; it enveloped her, the memory of his clammy skin in Afina's tomb melting away with every brush of his mouth against the side of her head. She could feel him breathing, a little quicker than usual, but the rhythm soothed her anyway.
"Nikola," she said softly, her voice muffled by his collar. She inhaled deeply, almost wishing she would have let him roam around looking for wine. Ordinarily, he smelled quite strongly of it, and Helen missed the familiar scent.
Nikola sighed, resting his head against hers. "Some doctor you are," he said.
Helen managed to snort at the non-sequitur. "Excuse me?"
"Well, you tell me to rest, and then you immediately wake me up. I need my beauty sleep, you know."
He was trying to divert her thoughts, to cheer her up, and Helen let him. There was familiarity in that, too.
"Beauty sleep, is that so?" Helen reached a hand up to run through his soft hair, even messier than usual, stroking her fingers through it to smooth it down a little before resting them on Nikola's neck. "Besides, I practically had to push you out of the lab myself before you would go to bed."
"Cut me some slack, Helen, I'm tired. You woke me up, so my inconsistent logic is your fault anyway."
"Ah, well, if you're so exhausted, I'll just be on my way then," she said, dropping her hand from his neck and pulling away. She kissed his cheek. "Get plenty of rest."
"…What?" Nikola's startled, put-out look was pure gold. Helen would have chuckled heartily at it any other time.
"Sorry, Nikola," she said, smiling a little.
Nikola closed his mouth, giving her a sarcastic smile. "You know, leaving a patient in need is even worse than interrupting their rest," he said.
"Oh? You look perfectly healthy to me, what exactly are you in need of?"
"Really, Helen? I thought you said you weren't going to let me get away with terrible lines," he said. There was a bright note in his voice Helen didn't hear very often.
Helen smiled. "So I did," she said.
And she took his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly, sliding her hands down to his neck, running her fingers again through the shorter hair at the base of it. His lips were soft against hers, parting a little as he leaned forward. When she pulled away, his eyebrows were knit together, and as she watched him, his eyes flickered open, looking at her with such undisguised adoration Helen felt her breath catch.
"Oh, bloody hell," Helen muttered, and before Nikola could comment on her catch phrase usage, she seized him by the lapels, yanking him nearer to crush their lips together again, one hand splaying across his back to hold him tightly against her, the other burying itself deep in his hair. Nikola clutched her to him, pressing into her and returning her kiss with an almost desperate energy.
Still kissing him, she kicked the door shut, backing him into the wall, her hands skimming down his shoulders to work on the buttons of his waistcoat. Nikola flicked his hand, sending them flying across the room haphazardly, his belt following.
Helen was expecting a witty remark about how he'd been waiting to do that for ages, but Nikola had apparently figured out at long last that he could put his mouth to much better use.
It was almost a shame, because Helen had her own retort, about how she'd been waiting even longer to do this, all planned out. As she dropped her lips to his neck, Nikola shivered, his breath hitching, and Helen amended her opinion.
Witty remarks could wait.
Nikola woke up first.
That was an unusual occurrence – most of the time Helen was the one who was up and about bright and early. But yesterday had taken a toll on her, too, and she couldn't rely on being freshly revamped for extra energy. Now, she slept on in Nikola's arms despite the late morning light peeking in through the windows, spilling over their bed in narrow beams.
Last night, Nikola had realized he had been thoughtless in more ways than one; he had been so wrapped up in his revamping issues and exhilaration and everything else, he'd completely forgotten that Helen had endured just as much as he had. Proof of it was written rather obviously right in front of him – Afina had left welts and bruises all over Helen's skin, running from her neck and shoulders down to her ribs. After seeing them, Nikola privately felt even more satisfied about Afina getting blown straight to hell. He had tried as best he could to avoid them last night: he thought he had been remarkably successful, in that and his attempts to make up for his behavior yesterday. He grinned slightly.
Nikola was still processing Helen's reaction to his near death; he thought he would be for a while. He had barely dared to hope that any of his optimistic speculation about her actions would turn out to be true, but here they were.
He stroked his thumb gently, almost reverently, across one of the bruises on her shoulder, making sure his touch was light enough that she wouldn't feel any pressure. There was a faint scar here, too, that it was covering – not from yesterday. This one was much older. Nikola was familiar with most of Helen's scars, though she had acquired some new ones since he'd last had an opportunity to see them.
They always reminded Nikola that Helen had dedicated her life to the protection of others, regardless of the danger, and he swallowed, looking down at her face. She really was incredible – she knocked him off his feet every time he so much as looked at her. When they were at Oxford, he remembered thinking with an admittedly naive burst of youthful fervor that he would never get used to it. Still, Nikola thought he'd say the same now, even a hundred years later. He leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head. If Helen were awake, she'd probably roll her eyes (fondly) at how extraordinarily sappy he was being – and she would be right, he'd thought it was bad yesterday – but she wasn't awake, so he kissed her again.
Helen was curled up on him contentedly, her head resting on his chest to allow her to hear his heartbeat. She had sought out that position last night, nestling against him before she fell asleep. It was unusually sentimental of her, but Nikola didn't mind at all; in fact, Helen wanting to listen to his heart beating while she slept made Nikola lightheaded in a way that had nothing to do with hunger.
She stirred, shifting slightly on him and sighing, and her eyes opened slowly.
"Hello," he said softly, brushing his thumb across her temple. It wasn't his best line, but it was about as good as he could manage at the moment.
Helen propped herself up on her elbow, gazing at him with a warm smile. "Hello," she said. Nikola's hand had dropped to his ribs, and she covered it with hers. "Feeling alright?"
"Never better, thanks to your remarkably enthusiastic ministrations." He smiled brightly. "And how are you this morning?"
Instead of answering, she rested her hand on his cheek, turning his head and peering closely at him. "How's the appetite?" she asked.
"Nothing I can't handle." He waved a hand, giving her a slow grin. "Not enough to leave the blissful comfort of your arms, dear Helen." There was an enjoyable sentence. Nikola closed his eyes briefly, savoring it.
Rolling her eyes but apparently satisfied, Helen let herself fall back against the pillow next to him, sighing and stretching her arms.
Smirking, Nikola leaned over. "We could stay in bed all day if you wanted," he whispered.
She chuckled. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"To be fair, I think we could both use a little vacation," he pointed out.
Helen wrapped an arm around him, snuggling back into his side. "You know how I feel about vacations, Nikola," she said.
"Come on, Helen, sleeping in is good for you every once in a while. Live a little. But if it helps, then think of it as looking after your patient," he said, affecting a theatrically pathetic tone. "I feel weak…"
Snorting ungraciously, Helen buried her face in the pillow to muffle her laughter. "My God, Nikola, that's terrible."
"Whatever works," he said, grinning.
"Well then," she said with mock gravity, "I would hate to abandon a patient." She settled back against him, closing her eyes, and Nikola wound his arm around her.
Her hand rested lightly on his abdomen, fingers brushing absently against his skin in looping circles. It didn't escape Nikola's notice that Helen was choosing to caress the exact location of his almost fatal wound the day before, though his healing abilities meant there was no visible mark left on him. Sliding his hand over hers and interlacing their fingers, Nikola kissed her forehead.
"Helen," he said after a few minutes in silence, a thought occurring to him with delight.
"Yes, Nikola?"
"I take it this means you don't think I'm obnoxious and insufferable anymore," he said impishly.
Helen laughed again, raising herself back up to look at him. "Oh no, I still believe that," she said, sounding mischievous. Before he could respond, she cupped his face, stroking his cheek with her thumb. Her amused smile melted into sincerity.
"I wouldn't have you any other way," she said simply, and leaned down to kiss him, lingering in a way that Nikola thought he could get rather used to.
Just as he was starting to really get comfortable, Helen pulled away and rolled off of him. "I'm going to have a shower," she announced, casting a look at him behind her.
He barely heard her; her earlier words had transfixed him, echoing through his head with a pleasant weight, and the taste of her lips was still fresh on his.
"Nikola," Helen said. He blinked, finally looking over to find her appearing highly amused, her hand outstretched expectantly.
It didn't take long for a smirk to spread over his face. "What about my convalescence?" he asked, taking her hand and making a bit of a show of slowly struggling to his feet.
She laughed, her eyes sparkling. "I think you'll be fine for a little while. Besides, some exercise will do you good."
"What sort of exercise did you have in mind?" Still smirking, Nikola leaned in a nice and dramatic heavy fashion upon the bedside table as Helen pulled him to his feet. His fingers brushed the lamp sitting on its surface.
He was also still watching Helen, delighting in the way her face was lighting up because of him; he noticed as soon as her expression shifted into one of surprise.
"Nikola," she said, looking at the lamp and dropping his hand.
Nikola glanced down, his eyebrows furrowing, and then his mouth dropped open. "Oh," he said.
Helen had turned it off last night, leaning over him in a really quite enjoyable way to reach the small chain. Neither of them had given another thought to it since, except just now, when he had inadvertently touched it on his way out of bed.
The light was on, shining weakly through the bright morning sun. Nikola looked at his hand, then back at the light, then at Helen, watching him with clear joy.
"Well," he said, beaming. "I can work with that."
He offered his hand to Helen. "But first," he said, "I believe we have a vacation to enjoy."
Helen took his hand. "So we do. A short one, mind you," she warned him, smiling.
Nikola grinned. "Of course. Unless you don't think you'll be able to tear yourself away from me."
"Oh, shut up and come here."
