Okay this is the last one today. It is currently quater to 1 in the morning for me and i'm shatterd but couldn't stop without adding this chapter.
Enjoy...
SM
I leant back against the pillows, and breathed in deeply. My nose was filled with a woodsy smell, a natural, outdoor kind of person smell. Jacob always smelt so good. It was nothing like Edward – the name made me cringe – but wonderful in its own way. I snuggled down into the covers and breathed in his smell deeply. It washed through my mind and cleansed my soul. Jacob didn't have to be in the room to help heal me.
I swore he must have been some angel that fell from Gad and decided to spend his time saving me. The amount of time he had been there for me, and I was sure I didn't deserve any of it. Totally immersed in the covers and the scent, I didn't hear him walk in and kneel next to the bed. He was quite for a while, listening to me breathing in deeply. It was only when I got a waft of him, stronger then that of the covers, that I stopped and pulled the covers away to look at him, ashamed.
"What were you doing?" he asked curiously. Completely taken over my embarrassment, I squished my face against the mattress and replied.
"Honey, would you please speak to me and not the mattress?" he joked and turned my face to his.
"Ok, I was smelling you," I said with a little more force and defensiveness that I had planned. I turned my face back to the mattress and could hear the smile slide across his face. I felt his had reach across to my side and he rolled me over so I had to look at him,
"Are you sure those drugs have worn off," he laughed, "seriously though, how do you feel?" his face fell into a serious expression.
"Sad, but not broken," I replied. "I was expecting it to hurt more then it does." There was a silent pause as he read my face to check I was telling the truth. I twisted myself over and shuffled to the farthest edge of the bed to make room for Jake,
"Come keep me warm, Dog," I said playfully and he hopped up next to me. I instantly curled up next to him, moulding my body to the shape of his to keep warm.
"You know its freezing in your room for those of us that don't run at one-oh-eight point five," I pointed out. He laughed.
"Faithful, loyal, space heater, at your service," he replied and wrapped his arms around me, "Happy Birthday. I know it probably won't help, but I have a present for you if you want it. Don't worry, I didn't spend any money on it," he clarified. He learned quickly.
"Oh," was all I could say. I was truly surprised. I guessed that I had missed his again.
He sat up and reached into a nearby drawer, pulling out a little, brown leather pouch. He handed it to me and I emptied the contents onto my hand. It was another wooden carving. This time it was made of a really pale wood. It was a simple shape, but one that I understood immediately. It was a fang. Or a canine, which ever way you chose to look at it. I was gobsmacked. It was so beautiful, even though it was a simple piece. In one way it was reminder of Jacob, and in another it reminded me of Edward. Although Edward hadn't, or any vampires for that matter, had actual fangs, I understood the thinking behind it.
"Jake it's… incredible. Really, thank you so much. It's simply perfect."
"My pleasure. I have some silver wore in my garage so I can attach it to your charm bracelet if you like?" he averted his eyes, suddenly looking really young and innocent. It remined me how he stil was basically a child. He had needed to grow up for the sake of looking after Billy, and then for the sake of the pack, but he was still a boy. I really pitied him and it bought a tear to my eyes.
"Jake I…" words failed me. I wasn't sure how I could explain to him how I felt. My breath hissed out of my lungs like I was being squeezed. Jake flashed his eyes to me, looked at my expression the stood.
"I can hear Billy calling for me," and he walked out, leaving me sat with the present in my hands.
Why was it that simple things could never be simple? I rose to my feet, stretched, and walked into the living room. There were quite a few people here, chatting, but they all stopped and looked at me as I entered,
"Where did Ja-…" but my sentence was interrupted by the sound of a motorbike roaring to life and speeding away towards first beach.
Anger engulfed me. What the hell was he doing? Why was he running away? Things were going fine, but as soon as there seemed to be a little more complicated emotions in the room, he ran. He was such a coward. If he really felt the way he said he did, he would be here facing anything to get what he wanted. I didn't like to think of myself as an object to be fought over but at this moment, I was falling at his feet, needing his support. So why was he running?!
I stormed out of the house and headed towards the garage. I found what I was looking for, in the corner, surrounded with a variety of tools. I hoped my bike worked as it looked like Jake had been doing some work on it. Was he selling it like I had asked him ages ago? I rather hoped not.
I walked it out to the road, swung my leg over like a pro, and rammed the kick start to the floor. Much to my surprise, it started first time. I went speeding after Jake, knowing exactly where he was going.
I raced along, my surroundings merging into one single blur, of blue, green and brown. The dirt track I followed Jake on ran right along the cliff, and I glanced over at the swell of the sea far below. I shoved the machine into the highest gear, something I had never done before. The feeling of freedom was so exhilarating that I almost forgot why I was riding a death trap at a ridiculous speed, along a cliff.
As the car park at the top of the beach neared, I peered along the beach to see Jake trudging down the beach towards the water's edge. As he heard my bike, he looked up and I saw him shake his head as he looked back at the ocean. I slowed and stopped next to Jake's bike, killing the engine and swinging off after putting it on the foot stand. I suddenly felt like a natural bike rider, then I remembered all the trips to the ER as I was learning. I stormed to the edge of the car park, where the sand met the land, and screamed.
"JACOB BLACK YOU CAWARD!" he stopped a few meters for the water and turned, a mixture of emotions painted across his face.
"OH SO I'M A COWARD NOW TOO, AM I? ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD WHILE YOU'RE AT IT?" He shouted back, beginning to shake. He looked almost out of control.
"YES, YOU'RE A JERK. NOW GET YOUR ASS UP HERE NOW! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I the blink of an eye, he was standing not ammeter away from me.
"What's wrong with me?" he repeated, "Oh sorry if I can't be like perfect Edward Cullen, but I do have me flaws like most human people," he poked, making me visibly wince.
"Well this is better, at least your fighting instead of running like a pathetic coward," I dug. He edged closer.
"GRRR, Bella had I not left, you wouldn't be standing there now. Your pushing me and I can only take so much," his face darkened, his eyes like daggers.
"Don't you dare give me that bullshit, Jake, What have I done now? One second I'm thanking you for my present and the next you're storming out, completely closed. I never said anything,"
"You didn't need to, your eyes said everything." I squeezed his eyes closed and grimaced, "You know, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. As soon as you made your decision to pick Edward, I accepted it. I only fought to make things interesting, but I never expected you to change. It was just funny watching Edward squirm. Plus I always like spending time with you. With him gone, we slipped into the life we would have had if he had not existed.
"I gave you that present and all I saw in your eyes was pity. You felt sorry for me because I'm not Edward-bloody-Cullen. I don't want pity from you. And I don't wasn't to live in his shadow. I can't and don't want to be compared to him all the time. I'm not expecting you to get ever him in a few days, for god's sake you were going to marry the guy, but I don't think you ever will.
"All I want is to be with you. To love you and take care of you. All I want to do is stand close to you and be by you side. I want to make the world revolve around you. I keep trying but I'm kidding myself. I can't be with you if you compare me to him all the time; every look, every touch, every kiss. It's like your grading me."
All my anger faded away and I plopped to the ground, but kept my eyes on his.
OOOOOO Cliffhanger! i do believe it is my first for this story i think. Whats going to happen??
Well of course I know, but you are all going to have to grovel to read more, so review please!
SM
