Chapter 9

Lucy,
Darling, you seem to think that I am an idiot. Do not be fooled, I have idiotic qualities but I am not someone that would fall for such a simple curse. I mean seriously, a cursed seal? That was rather cleaver but as you may or may not know here in America we don't bother with such things. We rip the top of the envelope, easy. But when someone ELSE touched it and instantly made their eyes become the size of a cows... well let's just say we were all shocked. Though she looked more shocked than anyone the poor thing. Not really poor, I actually couldn't stop laughing at her, good thing it wasn't one of my friends.
Ta-ta Lucy darling,
Samantha Wolffe

My Admiring Vassel,
You are doing splendidly! This is one way this could have happened, she simply doesn't want to encourage you to act the exact same way. Maybe she thinks that you are improving. Now what we shall do is SLOWLY (sound it out and read that again a few times) reintroduce you back into her life. We shall also be fixing the little niches need they become a problem. We shall start with the toes and work our way up. Here are a few things to start to notice about yourself and possibly your friends who might want to know this as well!
Your socks, they must match, be clean, but rolled down or else you'll look like a nerd. your shoes, they need NOT to smell and you need to check WHEN YOU CAN that you didn't walk through anything, no checking in public, again don't be a nerd. Your pants, they must go to at least the top of the shoe, more is always good. Don't show less, that's just weird and acward! I mean ew!! And if you cross your legs make sure your actual leg doesn't show… ok?
You may greet her politely and talk to her in small amounts about the weather and school NO MORE!
With those little actions and thoughts in your head you will now have Lily that much closer to you!
Your Highness,
Samantha Wolffe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Severus,
Ok, just trying to help. Anyway, you avoided my question! You didn't tell me their names! My other pen pal in Gryffindor is Remus Lupin. Know him?
Always and Forever,
Anna

Dear Remus,
Wow, you're friends prank innocent bystanders? I'm sorry. I guess what I meant was they have good intentions when they beg for your forgiveness?
Every part of the United States of America is infested with preps. Some more than others, depending on they type of place. In any sense, preps are either highly liked or highly disliked.
Anyway, my other pen pal is Severus Snape. Heard of him?
Always and Forever,
Anna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fudge Face,
I have your challenge already. Here is what you do. Do you know Lucy Malfoy? Highborn git who deserves to burn eternally in heck? He is the target of this prank. He said some very dirty things about my friend Sam that he deserves to die for. Feel free to involve James. I'm sure he's PO'd. Avenging her honor and all that. On the other hand, this isn't really honorable. There's this spell I created 'Quintople' that allows you to post words over a person's head and is almost as permanent as a permanent stick charm and just as difficult to remove. You also might want to suggest a strategically spilled shrinking potion to James. Anyway, the words I want you to post:
"Muggle Lover; Zero to Peak in 1.5 Seconds"
Signed,
Elodie
PS: You were killed by a pair of shoes? What's next; a drapery?

Dear Lily,
You won't have a problem with this at all, which is good acos that could put a pretty big dent in our relationship. Is this the James who's in love with you? Why don't you go out with him? Is he not really cute?
As for the phrases, yeah, Sam's helping him out... uh oh. Sam's making a cutting motion across her throat. I don't think I was supposed to tell you that. Oh well. It's in INK Sam.
INK!
Your sorry friend,
Elodie